Nappy and UN-happy!!!

Call this a rant or a call for help. Either way, I am ready to throw in the towel and get that creamy crack relaxed hair again.

Here is my brief hair-story for why I am (still reluctantly) natural:

December 2012: I noticed that my hair was falling out.

January 2013: I had to style my hair differently to cover the missing hair on top of my head. Dermatologist said I needed to stop relaxing for 6 -12 months.

February 2013: Hair analysis from Komaza revealed severe breakage.

April 2013: Braids

June 2013: While I was taking out braids, I got so tired and frustrated that I did an accidental BIG CHOPPED my hair . After trying half-wigs, I found the cutest mohawk hair-style on the internet. I went to barber and rocked the mohawk until December.

December 2013: Kinky-twists

February 2014: I take the twists out, get hair professionally dyed, and trimmed. MY HAIR HAS BARELY GROWN (insert tears here).

I am tired of my hair feeling dry. I am tired out looking at my #&%# forehead (there are no natural short styles with bangs). I am tired of buying products. I am just tired. It's been 8 months!!!! I was looking at relaxers yesterday and I really don't want to go back to relaxing but... How do you get from the "ugly" basically-bald stage to longer, softer, hair with many style options?

I'm sorry you're frustrated

Are you sure you want to go back to relaxers? You might go back to set backs since relaxers caused the damage in the first place. Maybe leaving in the braids for 2 months was too much for your hair to bare.

Unfortunately transitioning and learning to care for natural hair requires trial and error. As far as the awkward stage (oh yyeees I remember it well) I used to put my hair in a curly pony tail. .or more like pig tail because my hair was so short. I also used leave my hair out and put on head bands to make it look semi-cute. When my hair was about 6 inches long I also would do a blow out (or rollerset) and wear it straight.

how many inches is your hair right now?

I'm sorry you feel this way. *hugs*

Sorry to hear you're experiencing so many problems currently with your hair.

Like BostonMaria said, you may want to reconsider foregoing the relaxer (at least for a significant time period) since it damaged your hair previously. Also, the kinky twists may be too stressful on your hair right now since you've recently lost hair and are experiencing breakage. And the hair dye might not be the best option at this point either, since it does make the hair more fragile and you just recently had a setback.

To combat the dry hair, I think you should really consider regular deep conditioning and perhaps using the LOC method. A lot of ladies seem to have success with it on the board. There is a large thread on here about it. You may have to do some trial-and-error to find the right product combination that works for you, but it's worth it once you've nailed your regimen.

I'd revisit the half-wigs or full wigs as well until you feel comfortable with your hair length. They will keep your hair protected and prevent you from having to handle it as much thus lessening the likelihood of breakage. I transitioned for 2 years using them. Just remember to keep the hair moisturized. This is an awkward phase for most new-naturals or transitioners but with a little time and patience I think you'll make it through alright.

You talked a lot about styles but what have you done specifically to learn about your hair?

What is your wash day regimen and your weekly hair maintenance regimen?

Even if you go back to relaxing, it sounds like you still need to make some changes in your regimen.

leigh.hill said:

Call this a rant or a call for help. Either way, I am ready to throw in the towel and get that creamy crack relaxed hair again.

Here is my brief hair-story for why I am (still reluctantly) natural:

December 2012: I noticed that my hair was falling out.

January 2013: I had to style my hair differently to cover the missing hair on top of my head. Dermatologist said I needed to stop relaxing for 6 -12 months.

February 2013: Hair analysis from Komaza revealed severe breakage.

April 2013: Braids

June 2013: While I was taking out braids, I got so tired and frustrated that I did an accidental BIG CHOPPED my hair . After trying half-wigs, I found the cutest mohawk hair-style on the internet. I went to barber and rocked the mohawk until December.

December 2013: Kinky-twists

February 2014: I take the twists out, get hair professionally dyed, and trimmed. MY HAIR HAS BARELY GROWN (insert tears here).

I am tired of my hair feeling dry. I am tired out looking at my #&%# forehead (there are no natural short styles with bangs). I am tired of buying products. I am just tired. It's been 8 months!!!! I was looking at relaxers yesterday and I really don't want to go back to relaxing but... How do you get from the "ugly" basically-bald stage to longer, softer, hair with many style options?

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Silk top wigs! That's what I'm doing until my hair is a rockable length. Also,
how often do you moisturize? Condition? Are you using excessive heat weekly?
and you mentioned also that you got your hair professionally dyed. Hair color is very, very damaging. That could be the culprit too.

I'm sorry you are going through all of this.. I can relate my hair was extremely dry after I colored my hair in August and again in October. Roux porosity control conditioner followed by a moisturizing DT (LACE Naturals-Brahmi) bought my hair back to life.

My hair didn't get right until like 2 or 3 years after I became natural. Those were some jacked up hair years in which I never want to revisit. I literally wore wigs, braids, and hair pieces for years until my hair started to act right (I was working and going to school, so hair wasn't on the top of my to do list). My style of choice in the beginning years was gelled back hair with a pony tail or bun hair piece.

My hair back in the day would NEVER stay moisturized or styled. But then again, my scalp and hair were really damaged from relaxers that I had since I was 3 or 4 years old. It's like my scalp had to completely heal before healthy hair was able to grow from it.

These days, my hair can hold a style very well, stay moisturized, and does well with a very low maintenance routine.

Don't buy any more products. I found products that didn't work three years ago now work great for me.

Purchase a water filter shower head from Home Depot, Target, Lowes, Sephora, etc. and see if that helps (it could be hard water making your hair fall out or lead to dryness).

Using too many products can lead to scalp and hair buildup. Maybe using less products? Honestly, all I use is a shampoo bar and grape seed and castor oil. Sometimes I may deep condition with an egg or smashed up avocado. Traditional conditioners dry out and weight down my fine, 4b hair.

Are you wrapping your hair with a satin or silk scarf at night?

If you're going to wear wigs, wear a silk beanie on top of your hair, then put on the stocking cap on top of the beanie. Then finally, put on the wig. Stocking caps can cause dryness on hair if you put them on the hair directly, so a silk beanie is a better option.

Willow00 I agree.


My hair has changed in the last two years of being natural and seems to get better every 6 months or so.

Also, I watch you tube gurus. Their hair seems to have the same effect. Watch some ladies that have documented 2-3 years of a natural journey. Amazing the difference in moisture levels, shine, curl pattern etc.

leigh.hill


did you do a followup with komaza or maintain their suggested reggie? you have done waaaay too much to your hair in regards to styling which makes it hard to pinpoint whether any of these made thing worse. my hair gets progressively better with every passing day and i'm a decade or more natural and have made tons of mistakes and had lots of setbacks. i will never ever relax again.... my hair is too versatile in its natural state.

to be truthful when i first when natural it was forced (the dominicans jacked my ish up) and i hated it and felt ugly... none the less i knew there was no turning back and i would reap my reward in due time!

keep your reggie as simple as possible and be consistent.... have a dusting/trimming schedule of taking off about 1/4 of an inch. what is your reggie & what products are you using? you post is too general and we want to help you know we'll get you right!!!

If you want help then it's probably best to post your regimen.

What products do you use and how did you look after your hair when you were in braids?

I don't know if Komaza does the deal anymore where you can get a check up at a cheaper price but it would probably be best to get it analysed as a natural for appropriate recommendations.

I didn't actually follow the komaza instructions at first and had horribly dry hair for a few months. Now that I follow them (although I don't use their products) my hair is really soft again.

PS. Hide your hair!


Also dec to feb is not alot of time to expect marked growth.

Ladies,SOOOOOOOOOOOO much for your replies! It has been such a long time since I've been on the ledge about to jump. Thanks for pulling me back .

BostonMaria my hair is about 4" up top and 1" towards the back; sides and back are faded/shaved.

Looking at all of your posts, made me re-think braids. Though my sides are shaved, it does stress the scalp. Also, I need to think about the fact that since I moved to Raleigh three years ago, I have experienced one African hair braider, four different hair stylist, three different relaxers, semi-permanent, permanent, hair rinses, and countless barbers .

My regime...

I DC once a week.
Shampoo (Giovanna deep moisture or Castile soap mixed with water)
Conditioner (BeeMine deep conditioner mixed with Hairveda coconut oil)
Leave-in (Giovanni)
Oil (Hairveda coconut oil)
Cream (Camille rose curlaide and maybe a little s-curl activator )

I co-wash with trader joe's tea tree conditioner and follow-up with LOC.

Well I think that to get past the stage that you are in to your goal of "longer, softer, hair with many style options..." you are going to have to make a commitment to learning about healthy hair practices and from there creating a hair regimen. Your post is telling b/c it is very style focused. I would also like to know what Komaza recommended for you to do.

SunRai Naturals said:

Well I think that to get past the stage that you are in to your goal of "longer, softer, hair with many style options..." you are going to have to make a commitment to learning about healthy hair practices and from there creating a hair regimen. Your post is telling b/c it is very style focused. I would also like to know what Komaza recommended for you to do.

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I am SUPER self-conscious about my (what sees to me) ginormous FOREHEAD. With this faded twa, my forehead is FULLY exposed. YIKES!!!! I would kill for bangs right now.

What did Komaza say? It's been about a year since my analysis, but it was very eye-opening. I loved getting the both opinions - derm and hair analysis. The derm focused on my scalp while the analysis was all about the hair and my hair was messed up!!! Here are some of the exact words from the results:

• High porosity
• Saw damaged cuticles, mid shaft splits and breakage
• Hair is over processed; I would recommend staying away from the relaxers while you grow your hair out.
• I would like you to incorporate Apple Cider Vinegar Rinses to your routine as well. Once a month. ¼ cup ACV to 1 cup water you may add a couple drops of sage/rosemary/peppermint/lavender essential oil to help with the smell and they are great herbal properties for the hair.

Hmmm...I have not kept up the ACV rinses. I did it once or two...when I remembered.

There's some good advice in here. leigh.hill I hope you find the solution to your style woes. Even though my hair is healthy I feel style challenged a lot of times.

I suggest finding a good half wig or wig to get you through so you won't want to relax. It also allows you to leave your hair alone and not manipulate it.
LOL at the no bangs. I have an 8 head and bangs was what I missed the most about being natural. I feel you!

I notice that you use TJ Tea Tree Tingle Conditioner. Some have complained that this conditioner is very drying to the hair when used on a regular basis.

Also, I think the Giovanni Direct Leave In is a protein. Coconut oil is also known to act like a protein on some heads.

IA w/PSing. It was the only way I could make it through the in-between stage without cutting or texlaxing.

MzSwift said:

Also, I think the Giovanni Direct Leave In is a protein. Coconut oil is also known to act like a protein on some heads. IA w/PSing. It was the only way I could make it through the in-between stage without cutting or texlaxing.

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I have vowed to not buy a single product for six months but I may need a new leave-in and oil. Hmmmm. Good thing I have PLENTY of other products to use/experiment. Thanks for the heads up.

Hairology said:

I notice that you use TJ Tea Tree Tingle Conditioner. Some have complained that this conditioner is very drying to the hair when used on a regular basis.

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REALLY?!?!? Been using it for YEARS!!! Again, I have lots of other conditioners I can try to use for co-washing.

AmiJay said:

I suggest finding a good half wig or wig to get you through so you won't want to relax. It also allows you to leave your hair alone and not manipulate it. LOL at the no bangs. I have an 8 head and bangs was what I missed the most about being natural. I feel you!

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I WISH I had the flair and confidence to style and wear the half-wigs like all the ladies I saw on YouTube. The real reasons why I only wore the half wig for three days was that I just felt awkward...like I was in the witness protection program or something. Plus I'm a part time fitness instructor and the I just could not teach wearing a wig.

With all the suggestions and words of encourage from u ladies, I'm ready to stick this thing out for another six months. No more product binge buying. No more permanent dye. No braids.

OP don't be discouraged! If your going to relax do it because you want to not because you feel overwhelmed. I dont know your regimen so everything I'm saying is based off my observations from women in similar situations.

The first thing you should do is breath and relax, its just hair, you have unlimited growth potential even if it doesn't feel like it now.

Then you should decide what your priorities are. Do you want your hair to be as healthy as possible, do you want your hair to be as fly as possible or are your some where in the middle? If you want you hair to be as healthy as possible in the shortest time period it may mean giving up things like dye or even is some cases extensions and using protective styling exclusively while the damaged hair grows out and is cut off. If you hair is not retaining then eventually those ends need to come off but not necessarily all at once. What you have to avoid is dependent on your hair's characteristics.

You should always try to keep you protein and moisture levels balanced. Moisture should be checked on a daily. If your style prevents you from remoisturizing the you should pick a different style while you are repairing your hair.

The last tip is to keep tangles at a minimum and to detangle as gently as possible.

HTH

Sent from my SCH-I535 using LHCF

leigh.hill said:

I WISH I had the flair and confidence to style and wear the half-wigs like all the ladies I saw on YouTube. The real reasons why I only wore the half wig for three days was that I just felt awkward...like I was in the witness protection program or something. Plus I'm a part time fitness instructor and the I just could not teach wearing a wig.

With all the suggestions and words of encourage from u ladies, I'm ready to stick this thing out for another six months. No more product binge buying. No more permanent dye. No braids.

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LOL At being in the witness protection program! Too funny! Yeah there's no way I'm working out in a wig. Good luck! Hair natural and relaxed can be trying. I know whatever you decide will be best for your needs.