Church Cancels Funeral

momi

Well-Known Member
...after finding out deceased was gay.


Julie Atwood was standing at her son's casket when the phone rang. The church where her son's funeral was scheduled to be held the next day decided to abruptly cancel the service, after the pastor learned the deceased was gay and his obituary listed a surviving "husband."

Atwood said she was told it would be "blasphemous" to hold the services at the church because her son, Julion Evans, 42, was gay.

"It was devastating," she said. "I did feel like he was being denied the dignity of death."

Evans' husband, Kendall Capers, says the pair were partners for 17 years and married last year in Maryland. Evans died at home after a 4-year battle with a rare illness called Amyloidosis, which destroys organs in the body.

He says the obituary named him as "husband," and that their marriage was no secret.

"Everyone who knew us knew about our relationship," he said. "We didn't keep secrets."

The family asked for Evans' funeral to be held at New Hope Missionary Baptist Church in Tampa.

Atwood, Evans' mother, says she was baptized at the church as a child and several of her family members still attend. Atwood's current pastor agreed to preach the funeral, but they needed a large church, like New Hope, to accommodate hundreds of mourners from across the country. New Hope agreed and the service was scheduled for July 26.

But when the obituary published in the local newspaper, everything changed.

T.W. Jenkins, pastor at New Hope says was not aware of that Evans had a husband or was gay until members of his congregation saw the obit and called to complain. They did not think it was right to have the funeral at their church.

http://www.wfla.com/story/26213876/family-says-church-canceled-funeral-because-son-was-gay


Jenkins said his church preaches against gay marriage.

"Based on our preaching of the scripture, we would have been in error to allow the service in our church," Jenkins said. "I'm not trying to condemn anyone's lifestyle, but at the same time, I am a man of God, and I have to stand up for my principles."

Because of the late change of plans, Evans' family scrambled to make new funeral arrangements, with less than 24 hours to prepare. They were unable to notify everyone, though, and some mourners showed up at the church and missed the funeral.

Capers said that was the worst part. He wanted the funeral held in a church but said he would have understood the church's position. But to cancel during his husband's wake, he said, was “disrespectful” and “wrong.”

"This is 2014, this is not the 60s or the 70s,” Capers said. “So at the end of the day I just want his wrong-doing to be exposed.”
 

Shimmie

"God is the Only Truth -- Period"
Staff member
momi.... this saddens me. I truly understand not performing a marriage ceremony, that's just a given. However, to deny one's burial rites (and Rights), this is just grieving.

I pray for this family. I pray with my heart. To me, this is just wrong and it is no secret to anyone, here in this forum and outside of it how I feel about the 'agenda' that the gays have for redefining marriage and the sin of the lifestyle.

However, THIS... is beyond anything that I would ever deny them. :nono:

If at no other time, this family and those of his heart that he left behind, they need the loving warmth of Jesus to embrace them and bring them to Him in full and total surrender, if nothing more.

:nono: :nono: :nono:


...after finding out deceased was gay.


Julie Atwood was standing at her son's casket when the phone rang. The church where her son's funeral was scheduled to be held the next day decided to abruptly cancel the service, after the pastor learned the deceased was gay and his obituary listed a surviving "husband."

Atwood said she was told it would be "blasphemous" to hold the services at the church because her son, Julion Evans, 42, was gay.

"It was devastating," she said. "I did feel like he was being denied the dignity of death."

Evans' husband, Kendall Capers, says the pair were partners for 17 years and married last year in Maryland. Evans died at home after a 4-year battle with a rare illness called Amyloidosis, which destroys organs in the body.

He says the obituary named him as "husband," and that their marriage was no secret.

"Everyone who knew us knew about our relationship," he said. "We didn't keep secrets."

The family asked for Evans' funeral to be held at New Hope Missionary Baptist Church in Tampa.

Atwood, Evans' mother, says she was baptized at the church as a child and several of her family members still attend. Atwood's current pastor agreed to preach the funeral, but they needed a large church, like New Hope, to accommodate hundreds of mourners from across the country. New Hope agreed and the service was scheduled for July 26.

But when the obituary published in the local newspaper, everything changed.

T.W. Jenkins, pastor at New Hope says was not aware of that Evans had a husband or was gay until members of his congregation saw the obit and called to complain. They did not think it was right to have the funeral at their church.

http://www.wfla.com/story/26213876/family-says-church-canceled-funeral-because-son-was-gay


Jenkins said his church preaches against gay marriage.

"Based on our preaching of the scripture, we would have been in error to allow the service in our church," Jenkins said. "I'm not trying to condemn anyone's lifestyle, but at the same time, I am a man of God, and I have to stand up for my principles."

Because of the late change of plans, Evans' family scrambled to make new funeral arrangements, with less than 24 hours to prepare. They were unable to notify everyone, though, and some mourners showed up at the church and missed the funeral.

Capers said that was the worst part. He wanted the funeral held in a church but said he would have understood the church's position. But to cancel during his husband's wake, he said, was “disrespectful” and “wrong.”

"This is 2014, this is not the 60s or the 70s,” Capers said. “So at the end of the day I just want his wrong-doing to be exposed.”
 

bellatiamarie

Well-Known Member
momi.... this saddens me. I truly understand not performing a marriage ceremony, that's just a given. However, to deny one's burial rites (and Rights), this is just grieving.

I pray for this family. I pray with my heart. To me, this is just wrong and it is no secret to anyone, here in this forum and outside of it how I feel about the 'agenda' that the gays have for redefining marriage and the sin of the lifestyle.

However, THIS... is beyond anything that I would ever deny them. :nono:

If at no other time, this family and those of his heart that he left behind, they need the loving warmth of Jesus to embrace them and bring them to Him in full and total surrender, if nothing more.

:nono: :nono: :nono:

ITA... The man is dead.. My goodness!! His funeral and his lifestyle are two totally different things. The pastor might as well deny holding funerals of known liars, thieves, fornicators, etc., at his church as well if that's the case! ALL SIN IS UNRIGHTEOUSNESS!! I'm sorry... I don't agree.with this either.
 

momi

Well-Known Member
Those were my thoughts initially - I said "why would a church allow a person as a participating member and then deny to hold his funeral?" And then I read the article again for clarity. This wasn't his church - his pastor was willing to eulogize him but their church was too small and they asked that the service be held at a church with a larger facility. So it wasn't his church that denied the family it was the church they were using as a venue.

Personally I believe if the deceased family had informed the church from the beginning that he was married to a man this could have been avoided. The family could have held the service at their own smaller affirming church or a venue that was comfortable with his situation. I only pray that a lawsuit isn't next.
 

Iwanthealthyhair67

Well-Known Member
^^watched this on the news last night, the pastor claims that he wasn't told that Mr. Evans was gay, but read it in the paper 'after'
 

momi

Well-Known Member
ITA... The man is dead.. My goodness!! His funeral and his lifestyle are two totally different things. The pastor might as well deny holding funerals of known liars, thieves, fornicators, etc., at his church as well if that's the case! ALL SIN IS UNRIGHTEOUSNESS!! I'm sorry... I don't agree.with this either.

Thanks for replying -

Unless I'm interpreting this incorrectly - his pastor did agree to hold the service and give the eulogy.

Do you think the church that was asked to hold the service as the right to refuse to allow them to use it as a venue?
 

briacait

Well-Known Member
I don't really understand why it matters that he was gay. This is terrible. This same church probably does funerals for all kinds of things they preach against. Someone was trying to make a statement and this wasn't the right time. Those church members should be ashamed of themselves for calling and complaining.
 

JaneBond007

New Member
Someone should have been up-front with the pastor of church where it was to be held. That puts him into a precarious position as promoting homosexuality. I agree that the man should be serviced but this whole thing could have been handled differently and truthfully.
 

momi

Well-Known Member
Someone should have been up-front with the pastor of church where it was to be held. That puts him into a precarious position as promoting homosexuality. I agree that the man should be serviced but this whole thing could have been handled differently and truthfully.

I agree. I'll be watching to see how this plays out.

Churches refuse services for all types of reasons though. Some churches even refuse to hold services for non-members so this isn't exactly outside of the norm.
 

LiftedUp

Well-Known Member
I agree. I'll be watching to see how this plays out.

Churches refuse services for all types of reasons though. Some churches even refuse to hold services for non-members so this isn't exactly outside of the norm.

Some churches where I live do not perform funeral services for persons who commit suicide because it is committing murder.

I think that the family is wrong and should've been upfront from the get go.

I do not believe that the church should compromise their values owing to death.
 
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Shimmie

"God is the Only Truth -- Period"
Staff member
I would have allowed the service. A soul has passed on and only God knows where his eternity is being spent. If nothing more than to bring one or more of those remaining to Jesus in full repentance and deliverence.

Tears are welling up in my eyes because he may not be with Jesus but in the torment of death, hell and the grave. Dear God have mercy upon us all.

Both sides are error for not obtaining the full expectations of either side. They indeed both are. Neither side should have agreed to this venue without all facts being confirmed beforehand. This was carelessness for both sides.

BOTH the Family and the Pastor were / are irresponsible ... and equally so.

Being overwhelmed with grief has no bearing here; if for no other reason knowing the height of controversy with homosexuality, especially with Churches, the Family should have ASKED first and foremost if the deceased being gay is an issue....Period.

Now I can see this entire thing blowing up simply as ammunition set against Religious Rights and for this reason only I stand with the Church's decision ... We as a Church must defend our rights. I surrender nothing except that of loving this man's soul whom I do not know, yet for him I grieve as if I did.

Yes... I would have allowed and preformed his last service here on earth.
 
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bellatiamarie

Well-Known Member
Thanks for replying -

Unless I'm interpreting this incorrectly - his pastor did agree to hold the service and give the eulogy.

Do you think the church that was asked to hold the service as the right to refuse to allow them to use it as a venue?

Well I guess the church does have the right to refuse since that's what they did... I really don't agree with it. My point is that there are funerals held in churches DAILY for liars, thieves, murderers, etc... Sinners.

Would that pastor have made the same decision if the deceased man were straight and married to a woman and a member of the congregation called him and told him that the deceased man was having an affair with another woman? Would he refuse to allow the straight adulterer's funeral at his church?
 

momi

Well-Known Member
Well I guess the church does have the right to refuse since that's what they did... I really don't agree with it. My point is that there are funerals held in churches DAILY for liars, thieves, murderers, etc... Sinners. Would that pastor have made the same decision if the deceased man were straight and married to a woman and a member of the congregation called him and told him that the deceased man was having an affair with another woman? Would he refuse to allow the straight adulterer's funeral at his church?

bellatiamarie - if this church is allowing services for any and everybody and then refuses this one then yes I would say they are wrong and holding to a double standard. However if there is no history of this then I'd say they are well within their rights and consistent.

Shimmie - you are right. Both parties should have been more forthright in providing and gathering information. This could have all been avoided.
 

momi

Well-Known Member
Some churches where I live do not perform funeral services for persons who commit suicide because it is committing murder. I think that the family is wrong and should've been upfront from the get go. I do not believe that the church should compromise their values owing to death.

You are right. Suicides, drug dealers, unbelievers...
 

JaneBond007

New Member
The problem is the eulogy or sermon. Would someone have attempted to spread doctrine in opposition to the church at that point? I can see the pastor's position, esp. since he probably feels his congregation was defrauded and endangered theologically. He could hold the service and direct it as he sees fit. I'd do that, at least. And the church does service drug dealers etc., but they don't promote the lifestyle by allowing just any type of eulogy. I'm sure they could just pull somebody from the mike. :look:
 

felic1

Well-Known Member
This was an interesting thread. While they should have told the host pastor that the man was "married" to a man, at what point do we as saints apply a mechanism that will allow gay people to hear the gospel and repent? There has to be a preacher with the true word. When will that population be allowed access to repent? We are so headstrong with our opposition to homosexuality because of the " flame points" assigned to this sin. What would Jesus do? I believe that the Lord is not pleased with our focus on blocking their coming to church. He did not black ball Mary Magdalene, the woman with the issue of blood, lepers, or the woman at the well. Also in trouble was the lady taken in adultery. We may want them to quit but just as we needed to hear the word, repent and become delivered, it is not often that groups of gay people show up at a church unless they are undercover. Opportunities for their deliverance have to be made available. Thoughts?
 

Shimmie

"God is the Only Truth -- Period"
Staff member
The problem is the eulogy or sermon. Would someone have attempted to spread doctrine in opposition to the church at that point? I can see the pastor's position, esp. since he probably feels his congregation was defrauded and endangered theologically. He could hold the service and direct it as he sees fit. I'd do that, at least.

And the church does service drug dealers etc., but they don't promote the lifestyle by allowing just any type of eulogy.

I'm sure they could just pull somebody from the mike. :look:

The bolded is key. Performing the service without endorsing the lifestyle. :yep:
 

JaneBond007

New Member
It happened at our principal's memorial. No one knew she was gay as a nun had a lover and most found out just before the memorial or at the memorial. Just the same, the services cme under whatchamacallit...I'm so tired I can't think lol. The rites follow the same order.
 

frizzy

Well-Known Member
Aren't all sins equal in the eyes of God? Aren't we all sinners?
IMO the pastor is not doing the work of the Lord by refusing this family.
 

Shimmie

"God is the Only Truth -- Period"
Staff member
This was an interesting thread. While they should have told the host pastor that the man was "married" to a man, at what point do we as saints apply a mechanism that will allow gay people to hear the gospel and repent?

There has to be a preacher with the true word. When will that population be allowed access to repent?

We are so headstrong with our opposition to homosexuality because of the " flame points" assigned to this sin. What would Jesus do? I believe that the Lord is not pleased with our focus on blocking their coming to church. He did not black ball Mary Magdalene, the woman with the issue of blood, lepers, or the woman at the well. Also in trouble was the lady taken in adultery.

We may want them to quit but just as we needed to hear the word, repent and become delivered, it is not often that groups of gay people show up at a church unless they are undercover. Opportunities for their deliverance have to be made available. Thoughts?

felic1, I agree with your whole post. The point is this, a person's death is not a sin, if it were than none of us would see Jesus.

Something else to consider. None of us know what a person's last thoughts or words were before taking that last breath. For all we know, this person may have been asking God for forgiveness all throughout his sickness. There are so many Christians as doctors, nurses, etc., whom God has placed in hospitals, hospices, clinics, who are lead to minister to those who are dying and indeed many, many, many have received the Lord before passing on.

I can personally bear witness to this as I've been called upon to come and pray with several family members who were dying and they were so humble and so gracious to know that Jesus still loved them and would still receive them before they passed on.

I support them fully and completely for not performing a gay marriage, I fully support any Church or Minister, to not do so, for that is indeed sin.

But dying is not sin and as a Minister who has taken an oath to serve God and humanity, they would be honoring God by Ministering anyone's funeral service. Hearts are hurting and there's no better time for reaching out to them with Jesus and planting incorruptible seeds of loving care and deliverance.

In all honesty, Ministry is not 'pretty', it's not. It's not a social club. We're called to Minister, at any day, any hour. When someone comes to us for prayer, we don't judge or choose ... we pray and with our hearts in it.

It's not about pick and choose, and if we're really and truly called to Minister, there would be no denials other than not advocating sin. Too many Ministries are being glamourized today. The flash, fast living, having only the popular names invited to speak. Where's Jesus in all of this?
 

Shimmie

"God is the Only Truth -- Period"
Staff member
Aren't all sins equal in the eyes of God? Aren't we all sinners?
IMO the pastor is not doing the work of the Lord by refusing this family.

frizzy, you are correct, we are all sinners. The problem with the gay agenda is that it is 'Unrepented Sin'. Homosexuality as with all sins must be repented of. I speak of this among the living and active in this sin without repentance.

This man who has passed on may have repented in his heart before dying which is one of the problems I have with his service being denied.
 

momi

Well-Known Member
The bolded is key. Performing the service without endorsing the lifestyle. :yep:

In this case the deceased's gay affirming pastor would have been performing the eulogy so aside from the host pastor pulling a Kanye - he would have little sway over what was preached across his pulpit.

You all have given me much to consider...
 

momi

Well-Known Member
Aren't all sins equal in the eyes of God? Aren't we all sinners? IMO the pastor is not doing the work of the Lord by refusing this family.

No all sins aren't equal - while all separate us from God some sins are weightier than others.

I'll post scriptures in the morning.
 

Shimmie

"God is the Only Truth -- Period"
Staff member
I know his spouse. This is really heartbreaking to see him and the family go through this.

I'm very sorry for this man's passing and the family's grief.

But I do have to ask why the family did not cover all bases when making these arrangements. And we cannot use 'grief' as an alibi, especially with the height of controversy with homosexuality.

They are not without responsibility in this occurring. They cannot escape being held accountable for not covering this while making the arrangements. Both sides are at fault.

The family is just as responsible for this occurring as the Church involved is. The family knew the situation, and when seeking a Church they needed to inquire if it would have been an issue. As much as I disagree with the Church's decision and their actions, the actions of the family are just as irresponsible. There's no getting around this.

I need to reaffirm that I'm not excusing the Church's behavior, however the thing that really bothers me with these gay situations, is that they cry fowl when truly they have just as much part in the 'fowl' as the other party.
 

Farida

Well-Known Member
Funerals are for the living...we should try as much as possible to accommodate those left behind.
 

Shimmie

"God is the Only Truth -- Period"
Staff member
In this case the deceased's gay affirming pastor would have been performing the eulogy so aside from the host pastor pulling a Kanye - he would have little sway over what was preached across his pulpit.

You all have given me much to consider...

Ohhhhhhhhhh, okay. Got it, got it :yep: I read this on the train after work, so I am really just 'catching' up with the facts.

I thought the Pastor of the Church was asked to perform the service. I'm sorry for that misunderstanding.

I maintain that BOTH sides are accountable for this outcome. They should have been open with each other with every detail.

I would have still 'allowed' the service, with the agreement that I would be able to minister as well. There would be a written agreement regarding the service...up front and clearly defined.

Thank you momi. This is a truly touching situation.
 

momi

Well-Known Member
Aren't all sins equal in the eyes of God? Aren't we all sinners?
IMO the pastor is not doing the work of the Lord by refusing this family.

frizzy - although all sins without repentance and acceptance of Jesus Christ lead to death, some sins carry a greater weight of punishment than others.

Jesus answered, "You would have no power over me if it were not given to you from above. Therefore the one who handed me over to you is guilty of a greater sin" John 19

the master of that slave will come on a day when he does not expect him and at an hour he does not know, and will cut him in pieces, and assign him a place with the unbelievers. “And that slave who knew his master’s will and did not get ready or act in accord with his will, will receive many lashes, but the one who did not know it, and committed deeds worthy of flogging, will receive but few. Luke 12

Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. 1 Corinth 6

Hope this helps :Rose:
 
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