25-40 yr olds, what you wish you could go back and tell your 20 year old self?

Plenty

New Member
25-40+ yr olds, what you wish you could go back and tell your 22yr old self?(specify)

This was an excesice I did in my English class. I have learn so much from u ladies. I really enjoy your advice.

I have no rolemodels or siblings what so ever. I be honored to receive any advice from u

Thank you for your time. ;)

Post spirtiual advice too. I posted in hear because I would have really understood that the only person I need to please was the Father 10 years ago I would have not suffered so much pain.

If I fully understood that all I needed and ever will need is Jesus, I would have lived a happier 10 years ago.

I wasted so much of my life and sacrficed so much happiness trying to please others, it was all for nothing. All I need was some one to tell me that man can never save you, only God can, I would have gotten so much furthur. :ohwell:

Anyways I don't want to miss out anymore, thanks for your advice and comments.
 
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babyallmine

New Member
If I could go back, I would tell myself to live on my own for a year at the least. That's it's important to know who I am apart from my family and before getting married. To be true to myself, remembering that it's my life and I have the right to make the decisions that affect it. Stand up for yourself, you can't always count on someone else to.
 

gn1g

Well-Known Member
Do your very best in college, give it your 100%. You can party later.
marry the man that just wants you and doesn't need you.
ACTION IS IMPORTANT Get going. you get old soon
Be the captain of your own ship
you make a living working with your hands you make money working with your head
don't ask for a break make your breaks
Men talk without words
You by yourself have tremendous power.
 
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tweezer6

New Member
Absolutely stay away from debt. If you borrow now, you will pay later!

Live below your means and save for a rainy day, because it will rain.

Relationships are hard enough without getting involved with Mr. Wrong. There is no perfect man, but there is one who will treat you with the love and respect that you deserve.

Marriage takes work, on both parts. There's no room for selfishness or childish behavior. Respect your man, honor him. Keep your friends and family out of your business.

Abuse is abuse. Whether it's physical, emotional, or otherwise. Don't accept it, turn tail and run!
 

beyondcute

New Member
Wow Im only 21 and I would definitely tell myself not to have sex before marraige and to live by MYSELF for 2 myears minimum! Also Not to get into debt and the college partying thing. Those are all my exact thought! You ladies hit it right on the head!
 

shunemite

New Member
(I'm 26) I can sum all the advice up in one sentence: don't make decisions with negative permanent results in a temporary situation. That goes for don't be sexually active with all those Mr. Wrongs, don't drop out of college, and don't ruin your credit.

My father told me to have 3 types of friends: 1. a friend you help out, 2. a friend at your level so you help each other, 3. a friend older/ smarter/more spiritual /wealthier than you so you can learn from them and grow.
 

LorraineCC

Well-Known Member
I'm 28 now, but I would have told myself that I should speak up more often when someone hurts me.

That sleeping with boys/men or whatever will not give you the love you are looking for.

Not to get married so young (19).

Learn to live by yourself before you live with a man.

Don't make a man your world.

Don't drop your friends and family because you are in love.

Learn what makes you happy.
 

JuJuBoo

Child of THE King!
This needs to go in the off topic board!!! Good stuff. I'm only 22, but I would say:

1. True love is a CHOICE you make from day to day. It's not a "warm fuzzy feeling." (I Cor 13 - "Love is patient, love is kind..."

2. There's a whole lot of life to live--don't rush to be grown.

3. School loans are NOT free money. :lol:

4. Be patient in EVERYTHING, and trust in the Lord.
 

lexi08

Well-Known Member
I am in my 30's now
I would tell my 20 year old self:

Not to get wrapped up dating any man.
Not to have sex before marriage
Not to marry so young
Concentrate on being independent
Think about the shorterm and longterm consequences of any decisions before you make them

Any bad decisions you make early on can affect you for years to come. I learned this the hard way :ohwell: and you can never go back.
 

trinigul

Active Member
Late 30's

1. God comes first/His will be done!
2. You don't die young...you'll live many years later to clean up errors.
 

DDHair

New Member
I am 26 now and if I could go back I would know:

1.) Put God first in EVERYTHING that you do, especially when you are not doing what you are supposed to, He will keep you out of trouble
2.) Don't ever have sex before marriage, and if I have, don't do it again
3.) Don't sweat the small stuff (which is usually everything, because God can handle it all), because as someone said earlier, and "This too shall pass"
4.) LISTEN TO YOUR PARENTS, TAKE HEED OF THEIR ADVICE, THEY'VE BEEN THERE or NO SOMEONE WHO HAS, and ONE DAY YOU WILL WANT YOUR KIDS TO UNDERSTAND YOUR POINT OF VIEW TOO
5.) The man that loves you, will not only want one thing from you, he will want to spend his life with you and he will treat you like it and do everything (not possesive things) to be in your life
6.) Maybe community college for the first few semesters isn't that bad, the more hours, and the fewer hard classes the quicker I can graduate an A+ student
7.) If I am not happy with me or love me, no one else will be, especially a man
8.)Don't just go to church, but stay active, in school Gospel choirs, Bible studies, etc. ALL THE TIME!
9.) I am more beautiful than I think, so I shouldn't have a problem being exactly who I am, ME!
10.) That the things I have done and cannot change, the Lord will forgive me if I repent. Everything happens for a reason, even it's not for me, but to be an example to someone else. The mistakes that I have made should not be repeated. Man I've learned alot, the advice listed above is terrific, but the only way you really can learn from life, is to live it, that's with the advice, the guidance, the word and all, because right now, I am wiser than I was at 20-25 (even though that was just last year), but I am growing everyday, I will learn till the day I die, but if I could go back and start all over, I seriously doubt anything would be different, because the decisions that I've made, were influenced by what surrounded me, and since I am D and that's all I ever will be, let's just say I ask for God's will to be a whole lot more now than I did then.

My advice to you, listen to your parents or guardians(if you believe that they are guiding you in the right direction). Make sure you know the Bible and the Lord for yourself. Be patient, Be Anxious for nothing, things will come with time and what a wonderful blessing it is when it all works out. Don't hold grudges, life is too short. Sadness and lonliness is temporary, what seemed like months to get over, won't seem so long, once peace and joy has comes back to the surface. Be honest with yourself. Peace of mind is priceless.
 

Honeyhips

Lovely
Live for yourself. Stop looking for love outside of your family. Ricky and Daryl love you and know you better than you know yourself. Don't be afraid. You have no reason to be insecure. People really do like/love you for you. It is ok to make mistakes... It doesn't make you a failure. Follow your dreams... Work hard. Don't be lazy.
 

MissB

New Member
(1) Live on your own before getting married.
(2) Have your kids before age 30.
(3) Get your Masters Degree before you get married.
(4) Don't incur any debt while single.
(5) Have a small wedding and buy a house.
(6) Save for retirement as soon as you're eligible.
 

shalom

New Member
Checking at 40.

Establish a relationship w/God first. Seek ye the kingdom of heaven and all of it's righteousness.
Enjoy youth, because once it's gone you can never ever get it back.
Stay away from anything sexual (I say this because you don't necessarily need a man to have an orgasm). Sexual sin is easy to get into, but very hard to get out of.
Don't go where you shouldn't be going so you won't have to worry about doing what you shouldn't be doing. Stay away from friends that don't have nothing going for themselves. Note: THEY WILL TEAR YOU DOWN.
Educate yourself early.
Avoid debt.
Learn to make wise decision/pray to God always for wisdom.
Find a job you really love and seek employment there.
Show gratitude in all things no matter how small it might be.
Learn to be gracious and kind.
 

czyfaith77

Well-Known Member
babyallmine said:
If I could go back, I would tell myself to live on my own for a year at the least. That's it's important to know who I am apart from my family and before getting married. To be true to myself, remembering that it's my life and I have the right to make the decisions that affect it. Stand up for yourself, you can't always count on someone else to.

I can agree with this because I have had the opportunity to do just that. I would advise any single woman to wholly embrace her singleness so she can get a very good understanding of who she is and who God is in her life before making any long term commitments. This (a relationship with God and knowing and understanding herself) in turn would allow her to be able to identify her mate in it is the will of the Father for her to have one. Once you get pass all the other stuff, singlehood truly is a blessing in which one can find wholeness before being committed to another individual. It is also a time to set things in order such as careers, well-being (phyical,mental,emotional,social, and spiritual), your finances (ladies ownership is good as well as a good name), etc. Please take advantage of it. I truly appreciate the time I have now as a soon to be (Nov. 2) 28 year old single woman with no children (and that is not knocking women with children because we all have various backgrounds and situations, but know that all this as well as your personal goals are attainable :) ) Much love ladies...


If I had one scripture to add I would say: Seek ye first the kindom of God and all things [needs and the desires that you have submitted to God] would be added unto you....
 
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czyfaith77

Well-Known Member
shalom said:
Checking at 40.

Establish a relationship w/God first. Seek ye the kingdom of heaven and all of it's righteousness.
Enjoy youth, because once it's gone you can never ever get it back.
Stay away from anything sexual (I say this because you don't necessarily need a man to have an orgasm). Sexual sin is easy to get into, but very hard to get out of.
Don't go where you shouldn't be going so you won't have to worry about doing what you shouldn't be doing. Stay away from friends that don't have nothing going for themselves. Note: THEY WILL TEAR YOU DOWN.
Educate yourself early.
Avoid debt.
Learn to make wise decision/pray to God always for wisdom.
Find a job you really love and seek employment there.
Show gratitude in all things no matter how small it might be.
Learn to be gracious and kind.

As far as one's sexuality, there is nothing wrong with sex (and I don't take it that you said that it is wrong). One should acknowledge their sexuality but then submit that also to God. God is not a box God as you already know. He deals with all areas of our lives. I don't think it is wise to ignore one's sexuality but to fully acknowledge and embrace it but, the important thing is submission. What I mean by acknowledging and submitting it is talking it over with God and releasing it to him. The more you are willing to release the quicker God can intervene God knows you and he knows sex because he created the concept (Now that is something truly to thank God for :lachen: ). He also knows that we need his help to control our desires. There is just no other way.

Now as far as orgasms without a man, if you are talking about masturbation, it is not wise to indulge in such activity because though it does not seem like a sin and the secular tells us that it isn't, it is (not inclusive of very young children). Masturbation, with adults is often based upon fantasy. Fantasy that causes people to dig deep mentally of a previous encounter to fulfill a physical desire. It opens a spiritual door (for more on this topic you can read "No More Sheets" by Juanita Bynum (Juanita Bynum-Weeks).
 

czyfaith77

Well-Known Member
shunemite said:
(I'm 26) I can sum all the advice up in one sentence: don't make decisions with negative permanent results in a temporary situation. That goes for don't be sexually active with all those Mr. Wrongs, don't drop out of college, and don't ruin your credit.

My father told me to have 3 types of friends: 1. a friend you help out, 2. a friend at your level so you help each other, 3. a friend older/ smarter/more spiritual /wealthier than you so you can learn from them and grow.

Great advice Shunemite!:)
 

locabouthair

Well-Known Member
czyfaith77 said:
I can agree with this because I have had the opportunity to do just that. I would advise any single woman to wholly embrace her singleness so she can get a very good understanding of who she is and who God is in her life before making any long term commitments. This (a relationship with God and knowing and understanding herself) in turn would allow her to be able to identify her mate in it is the will of the Father for her to have one. Once you get pass all the other stuff, singlehood truly is a blessing in which one can find wholeness before being committed to another individual. It is also a time to set things in order such as careers, well-being (phyical,mental,emotional,social, and spiritual), your finances (ladies ownership is good as well as a good name), etc. Please take advantage of it. I truly appreciate the time I have now as a soon to be (Nov. 2) 28 year old single woman with no children (and that is not knocking women with children because we all have various backgrounds and situations, but know that all this as well as your personal goals are attainable :) ) Much love ladies...


If I had one scripture to add I would say: Seek ye first the kindom of God and all things [needs and the desires that you have submitted to God] would be added unto you....


you just summed up how i feel in my life right now. im 21 and i havent been in a relationship in 2 years. i feel that i need to focus on attaining my goals and finding myself first. i promised myself i wouldnt get in another relationship until my relationship with God is good and I am loving myself more.
 

shunemite

New Member
locabouthair said:
you just summed up how i feel in my life right now. im 21 and i havent been in a relationship in 2 years. i feel that i need to focus on attaining my goals and finding myself first. i promised myself i wouldnt get in another relationship until my relationship with God is good and I am loving myself more.

I think that's a good focus. Looking back on my life, I have achieved the most personal growth and personal goals when I was single. When in relationships I tended to gravitate towards pleasing the partner and sometimes changing myself. I grew horizontally but not vertically.
 

Iammoney

Wealth magnet
forget about physical therapy and just go to nursing school the waiting list is too long and besides you had the best teacher (mom)
 

jngn

New Member
I'm 25 now, and whoa what a difference 5 years can make...
I would tell my 20 year old self to GO TO COLLEGE! I would be done by now. I would also tell my 20 year old self to speak up for herself, stop being afraid of confrontations.
 

nikipovi

New Member
I am 28 and I would go back and tell myself to enjoy my college years because you can't get them back.

Also, I would leave the credit cards alone because I am paying for that.

Also, someone said don't make a man your world and I have to agree 100%.
 
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