Hair Observation - Ignorant!!!!

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beawo

New Member
Do you guys know what this Aussie girl (just incase anyone is wondering I live in Australia) said to me at work yesterday? She that I should put little beads in my hair. I asked her why and she said, "because your hair braided", I said to her, "No my hair isn't braided", then she said "but I thought your hair was braided", then I replied "my hair is kinky not braided" (Well my hair is permed but I don't use any heat on it so itg gets kinky when wet). I was so offended as she was assuming that just because she had seen one on two black people on tv or on the streets with braids then that meant that every black person has braided hair. I don't think she is the first aussie person to think this, someone else said to me that they liked my hair, I think its only because they though my hair was braided or something. What also annoys me is when you have braids in your hair then suddenly your name becomes whoopie.

Its so, unbelievable that some people can be so ignorant.

Just thought I would vent.
 

Fatima

New Member
I am probably missing something, because I really fail to see why you are upset. I don't see any offense in what that girl told you, unless either I missed a part or you didn't tell everything. I am under the impression she liked your hair.

Once I was in Spain, staying at this (white) lady's house and we were watching TV. There was this video playing and it was Toni Braxton (or another R&B clone I can't recall). We were talking about beauty, and suddenly one of her comments made me realise that she thought her hair was natural. Then I explained to her that it wasn't and that real black people (i.e. not mixed) don't have straight hair, and can only get hair in the 4a-4b range. That this singer could at best have curly hair (3 type) but in no fashion could she have straight hair and that it was surely a weave!!

She was shocked because she guinely thought that black people's hair could be naturally as varied as white people's hair. I had to explain that nope, that it was always the result of race mixing, but real African type hair is kinky and never straight.

She didn't know that. Well, on that day she learnt it.
I didn't feel offended, and I didn't think she was ignorant.
You can't assume people to know all of you realities, especially when you probably don't know all of theirs.
People can't know things they aren't exposed to (I don't think Australia has that huge a black community) until they are kindly shown and explained.

Maybe you were not completely comfortable with your hair on that day.
Or maybe I missed the issue in you post /images/graemlins/laugh.gif

F.
 

LuvableLady

New Member
Fatima,

I think that beawo got a little insulted by this woman assuming that all black hair is braided, so, I can see where she is coming from. That is stereotyping and some people have problems being stereotyped, I know this because I’m one of those people. I do not think she was insulted because the woman assumed she had braids but that the woman thought all black people wore braids because they are black. You know like we all eat watermelon and fried chicken everyday….Stereotype. You are a good one, as I would have not explained black hair to this woman, she would have had to get educated someplace else and I am a “real” black person and my hair does not grow out kinky, it grows out wavy so not all black hair is naturally kinky maybe most, but not all. You can have 2 black parents and have naturally wavy hair. It’s all great hair kinky, wavy, or straight. Or, is wavy and kinky the same to you? If it is then I guess mine would be considered kinky to you. I agree that “real” black people don’t have naturally straight hair but very few people of any race have bone straight hair……there is always some type of curl or wave to it unless they process it.
 

Honey Vibe

The Good Physician
While silly comments like "You should get some beads!" can be irritating, keep your composure and remember that she's trying to be friendly, but she's insecure about how to approach someone different.
 

Fatima

New Member
Hi LuvableLady,

- "I do not think she was insulted because the woman assumed she had braids but that the woman thought all black people wore braids because they are black."

I guess it must be cultural because I still don't see the issue. /images/graemlins/confused.gif
The immense majority of black people in this world DO braid their hair in some way or another.
If there was something (like despise) in the tone or the face of the girl then yes. But plain like that, I don't see how someone could be offended...
I see some curious white girl not acquainted with the ways and mysteries of black people's hair, and I would have taken the half hour explaining with delight (luv talking about hair).
I feel that if nobody takes the time to explain anything to someone from another culture, at the end nobody is learning anything. People need stereotypes to apprehend something they don't know, and we ALL have stereotypes, ALL.
It is not necessarily mean or evil.

"very few people of any race have bone straight hair……there is always some type of curl or wave to it unless they process it."

That's not my experience. My boyfriend and his entire family have stright hair with no wave and no processing. Here in Canada it is full of straight hair with no wave. Whenever I go to Europe, I see tons of straight hair with no waves. Many Asian people have complete straight hair.
If you hang in websites where they grow their hair very long, you see some long hair that's completely straight. No waves.
My idea of waves is type 2 hair. Straight is type 1.

"I am a “real” black person and my hair does not grow out kinky, it grows out wavy. You can have 2 black parents and have naturally wavy hair. "

That's what I was referring to when I talked about mixage.
I shouldn't have use "real black" but "mostly of african ancestry".
Being African I guess I am used to different terminology.
Black hair is African hair for me (4a or 4b). Maybe I should only used the hair types.

Ok, that's out of topic.
I am sorry that beawo felt offended, especially if that poor girl's interest was genuine.

F.
 

adrienne0914

Well-Known Member
i really just think she was ignorant in the real sense of the word. i don't think she was trying to offend you. people don't know what they've had limited exposure to. i'm sure you straightened her out though... /images/graemlins/smile.gif

adrienne
 

LuvableLady

New Member
Thanks Fatima,

I love braids and I would not have been offended either but I just thought I'd jump in and try to see it the way beawo saw it since it made her sort of angry and it was her post. I think her whole point is that she was being stereotyped. I know we wear braids but not all of us do. In fact, I'm the only person in my family that has ever worn braids (the extension kind). As a matter or fact, I just took braids out of my hair about 2 weeks ago. I love those things. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

Thanks for your detailed response and you have great points! /images/graemlins/smile.gif Perhaps the woman was sort of rude about it when she said it, I guess we would have had to be there to completely understand. Some people hate braids and would be insulted if someone just assumed their hair was braided..... especially if it's not.

I still hate stereotypes for anybody. God created us as individual people for a reason and we should be judge by the content of our character not just bunched up into a group like animals. Just because stereotypes exist doesn't make them right!
 

Fatima

New Member
"I think her whole point is that she was being stereotyped. I still hate stereotypes for anybody. Just because stereotypes exist doesn't make them right! "

Stereotypes can be annoying, especially when people come up to you and ask if we people in Africa live in trees eating bananas.
But it's all in the tone and context. Some people really don't know because they never had the chance to visit such places. All you see on TV is war, starvation and animals.
So yes, it is normal that people develop those weird ideas.

Now if all you do is be offended, well guess what the person keeps going on with the stereotype plus a weird idea of how black people react when asked a curious question nicely.
Stereotypes are neutral and I am yet to see people with no stereotypes, even those getting offended by them. It is all in the attitude and tone.


"God created us as individual people for a reason and we should be judge by the content of our character not just bunched up into a group like animals."

You can't reasonably expect someone you met a few moments ago, in the bus, in a store etc. to know the content of your character. Nor do you know theirs either. But you may still have to interact with them, so you have to be supple in your expectations, or you'll get offended all the time.


"Some people hate braids and would be insulted if someone just assumed their hair was braided....."

I'd be very curious to know why. It's the first time I am hearing such a thing.
Why would someone (black I assume) hate braids when it is the most natural, instinctive and widely practiced black hair style in the world?

F.
 

LuvableLady

New Member
Fatima,

You are not getting it and that's okay. I appreciate your views and I will respectfully disagree with you but I want to try to break it down a little for you.....When I go into a store I am simply in there for a moment to buy something but if they have this sick "stereotype" in their heads that all blacks steal then they make it hard from me and I have never stolen anything in my life. Let's put it this way....when you first meet someone you should treat them the way you would want to be treated (that is fairly, with respect and without stereotypes attached).....after getting to know them personally treat them the way they deserve to be treated. Sorry you don't understand or perhaps you do and you just don't agree and that's fine. This is the way that I live and I love treating people as individuals. I will always do this.

This is getting way off topic.....If you want to discuss this further let me know and I can give you an email address as I am sure these ladies don't want to read all this as we are not talking about hair now. How did this happen.

I wanted to answer your question about the braids. People have told me that they dislike braids because they are time consuming, can be expensive, they can take out or tangle your hair up, etc. I cannot relate because I like braids. People have various likes and dislikes........I hate liver and you may love it.
Remember, it's all about individuality with me.
 

hada7

New Member
Fatima,

Genetically speaking curly hair is dominant over straighter hair. I think when that point is mentioned we speak of the world not certain populations. It is true Asians have bone straight and certain other populations. To further this, those that have straight hair may not admit that their hair is processed to some degree. When you look at India, Southeast Asia (parts of it) African continent, so-called middle east , I call it northeast Africa, and further into Asia where Afghanistan is, and Greece, Italy, Turkey, some some other Europeans, Pacific Islands with the original Polynesians, you will see some form of texture in some degree...yes there are some straight hairs, but these peoples are known to have texture (unless processed)
Let us not forget about the Australian originals, even though their is some what straighter than "African " hair, there is some bump to it.

African blood is for the most part dominant. Most of the world has some amount of color in the skin, hair, and some form of hair texture.

hada
 

beawo

New Member
I don't care whether or not she was facinated about my hair. We take the time to understand things about them and not just categorize them as "Julia Robert1" or Julia Robert2". What really shocked me about this incident is she is married to an indian and has kids with him so she should understand that everyone is not the same. I am an individual and not a clone of someone else. As mentioned before black people's hair varies. For example my cousins' have lose curls and it looks as though it has a texturizer put though, and their completely african black - both parents black.

If you guys were to see my hair it would be very obvious to you that my hair does not look like braids, all I can say is as I mentioned in my title she is plain ignorant. The reason why I was mad is that I don't think she even looked at my hair she was just assuming (she only comes to work 2 time during the week and most of the time I hardly see her).

I had one woman (at the same work place) that said that she would love to see my hair down and I told her that I don't like having it down(not in a bun) because its very boofie and then she said yeah I can tell you hair looks very thick. I mean I am hardly in contact with her and yet she didn't assume that every black person has braids. Its just that girl's ignorance and the few others out there. You guys shouldn't excuse it because ignorance is just plain laziness, its an excuse not to bother yourself with trying to understand something that is different from your idea of the norm. What I am trying to say is that its okay to ask questions rather than making ignorant statements with the aim of trying to appear knowledgeable.

Not all black people have braided hair - I have 5 sisters and none of them have braids in their hair.
 

serena

New Member
Like Fatima, I was puzzled by beawo's reaction. I had to read the thread several times trying to understand. I'm wondering if the posters are interpreting the word 'braids' differently. I mean, when I think of 'braids', two things come to mind: first, having my hair in plaits (my own hair, no extensions); second, wearing braid extensions.

"In fact, I'm the only person in my family that has ever worn braids (the extension kind)." Luvablelady is making a distinction here.

"Why would someone (black I assume) hate braids when it is the most natural, instinctive and widely practiced black hair style in the world?" I get the impression here that Fatima is referring to definition number one: hair worn in plaits without extensions.

"Some people hate braids and would be insulted if someone just assumed their hair was braided..... especially if it's not." This is perfectly true: lots of people dislike extensions, but not braids per se.

I think there is some confusion as to which beawo means, and also, which definition the other woman was using. Perhaps the two women were using the same word, but different dictionaries, so to speak.
 

LuvableLady

New Member
Serena & Fatima,

I am sorry but I can't clarify further then I already have. However, hada7 hit it on the head and now that beawo has posted it confirms what I thought. Just go back over and read more closely if you're still confused. The issue is not braids and who cares if extensions are included and beawo does not have braids. You are missing the point and I don't know how to break it down any further without writing a book. You have to open your minds to what's being said here. However, you don't have to agree just try to understand.
 

Tara

New Member
</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
She was shocked because she guinely thought that black people's hair could be naturally as varied as white people's hair. I had to explain that nope, that it was always the result of race mixing, but real African type hair is kinky and never straight.


[/ QUOTE ]

Sorry girl, I just had to make a quick correction on this.

When people use terms like "real African" it is always strange to me because Africa is a Continent, not a country. Which means there is no such thing as "Real African" features. They vary greatly from country to country. I mean Nigerian folks look differently than Morrocans, than Egyptians.

For example, if you have any Ethiopians in your area, you know that they have hair that is very loosely curled, some are type 2's and they are "real" africans. So just wanted to clear that up. And there are many Ethiopian chicks I know that would jump all over that issue.

Also they (Ethiopians, Somalians etc.) don't look that way because of race mixing, that is how some Africans look. They are 100% african also.
 

serena

New Member
I think you may have misunderstood what I was trying to do, LuvableLady. It's because I was trying to understand that I posted in the first place. /images/graemlins/smile.gif I wasn't expressing disagreement/disapproval of beawo's reaction; after all, what offends someone else, may not offend me; similarly, something that gets me all riled up may be a mere nothing to another person. I was puzzled because I wasn't clear whether the reaction had to do with 'extensions' or not, and I wanted to find out. I'm sorry that you got the impression that my mind is closed to what is being said. I just wanted clarification. I guess misunderstandings are bound to occur when we depend on writing for communication, without the help of body language, facial expression and tone of voice to convey true meaning. /images/graemlins/frown.gif
 

LuvableLady

New Member
Oh, Serena I apologize. I was talking about extension braids, those are what I wear, not now….but I have worn them. I have a feeling this woman beawo is speaking of did not care if the braids were extension or natural braids. She thought all black hair was braided hair and if you ask me…….that’s not only ignorant but also stupid to think such a thing. To be honest with you, I doubt this person thought black hair grew out braided. Come on….. hair growing out the scalp in braids? LOL. All hair grows out of the scalp in strands and if she dosen't know this she must have a serious learning disorder and I don’t care where she’s from. I think this woman knows good and well that this isn't the case and she was simply trying to insult beawo in a slick sort of way because nobody is that dumb to think such a thing. I understand why she was offended. Black people are not the only people wearing braids or dreads whether they be natural or extensions.

Hair growing out the scalp already braided, talk about slow growth, LOL. People will say just anything. I guess for people who wear ponytails this woman thinks that the hair actually grew out in a ponytail. Sort of like an automatic hairstyle. LOL
 

serena

New Member
Thanks, LuvableLady. /images/graemlins/smile.gif I didn't realise that beawo was saying that the other woman thought (or pretended to think) black hair texture was naturally 'braided'.
 

hada7

New Member
Tara,

I totally agree with your post. We are trying to get away from the only" true black is a blueblack with tight hair thing."

That is why they try to make the Egyptians, Ethiopians, original Arabs and original Israelites something else other than what they are BLACK AFRICANS. Has anyone seen the computer generated picture of Tutankamen??? Still black. Like any other black boy. Any of the above peoples aren't necessarily the stereotypical blueblack "stuff" but when you look at them, they are still recognized as black peoples. Heck! We aren't that so-called type but still seen as being of African descent even WITH mixture!!

I am off on another subject , but I said what I said to demonstrate that certain things are said to deny us who we are. "Oh she's not black, she's Egyptian"
or

"Well, these peoples were of the BROWN race because see...(pointing to a painting)..their skin was brown not black."

or

"Look at how these Egyptians enslaved the Africans." (Excuse me but, they are African.)
or

"The Israelites and the Africans." (Uuuhhh they are African too....the true ones anyway.)


These are examples of what I am talking about. And we have to EDUCATE ourselves and define ourselves and STOP listening and playing into stereotypes and turn around and repeat them white people. Without doing this, we continue to lose our footing.

hada
 

Fatima

New Member
Actually I was not thinking about extensions at all. I was thinking about the technique of "doing" your hair in one way or another, with 3 strands, 2 strands, individual, cornrows... etc. are all sorts of braids for me.
I guess it's semantics.

F.
 

sassygirl125

Professional PJ
</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
I didn't realise that beawo was saying that the other woman thought (or pretended to think) black hair texture was naturally 'braided'.

[/ QUOTE ]

Oh for goodness sake!
Kinda OT, but--
It's odd how we know all about other ethnicities little habits and rituals and they know nothing of ours... But I guess it isn't really necessary for them to learn about 'us' to get along in society... Like how millions of black women buy Cosmo and Glamour, but not too many white women buy Essence. The things they do seem to pick up on are the 'ghetto fabulous' type things that make me cringe.
I was in Ryan's for the buffet /images/graemlins/cool.gif and this little white girl-- probably 5 or 6 yrs old-- looks at me, got this big old grin on her face, threw her little hand up in the air and screamed out "HEY GIR-FRIEND!!" I wanted to laugh, but saw this as a 'teachable moment' so I just looked at her and said, "Hello, how are you?" in my best anchorwoman voice. /images/graemlins/grin.gif
Her family was beyond embarrassed.
"No more "Parkers" for you, Sally!" /images/graemlins/smirk.gif
 

Fatima

New Member
Hi Tara and Hada,

The term 100% african is my usage, and I use it to mean negroid which is what is/was used "scientifically". The problem is, in these politically correct days, not many people like the word negroid. I use it (100% african) when I refer to hair types or physical features.
Most people understand what I try to say, which is the point, and I have only had people reacting to it on hair boards. I can use negroid if you prefer.

"African" is a very loaded term, and it always convey all sorts of reactions. I have seen people physically fighting over who/what is African and what is not:

- Some Black americans say they are just as African as today's Africans because both are descendants of the same ancestors, which is quite logical to me.

- Are white Africans Africans? I have this blue eyed blond haired friend from Zimbabwe who got blocked the entrance to the African Students Society because she is white. Of course I stopped attending.

- Are Northern African Africans? Many have stronger links with other non-African Arabics than with us negroid Africans. That's fine with me too as origins, culture and religion are very strong factors here. Those who feel they are Arabs will be arabs to me. Those who feel they are African will be africans to me.

- How African are people from the Islands? My father got his [censored] kicked in Madagascar for telling some people that they were Africans, while many Cabo-verdian will just do everything they can to convince you they are more Portuguese than black. Those are all Africans to me.

- Somebody once told me that everybody is African as all races originated from Africa. That's fine with me too.

Ridiculous issues, no? Well, again, I have seen people fighting to blood over that.
Everybody who wants to be called African is African to me. Anybody who comes from a country located on the continent is African. I am not exclusive, everybody is welcomed in the party.

However, this doesn't change the fact that the immense majority of Africans (whatever the definition) are negroid in type, meanining with 100% African features: thick lips, nappy hair, big noses etc. which is enough backing for my use of the term.
All of those who aren't have mixture (Nilothiques East Africans, i.e. Ethiopians, Somali etc. mixed with the Semites) in their blood or migrated (arabs and Semites and Europeans).

My experience is that whenever people (esp. East Africans) are so quick to tell you how diverse Africa and "Africanhood" are etc... they have some issue with negroidness.
Maybe I never met the right ones, but that's my experience.

I have a very good friend from Rwanda (Tutsi so Nilothique) and we were once talking about the genocide. He the kind of person always praising how tutsi and other East African women have the yellow (light) skin, and soft and curly hair and nice nose etc... looking like Iman, etc... Which is fine with me.

But that day I was trying to understand how the Hutu (bantu type, usually very negroid) came to that extreme, especially since current gospel about the event is that everything was fine between them until the Hutu snapped.
He answered slyly as I squeazed him into admitting: "they were probably jealous". "jealous of what?". "Of us (i.e. the tutsi)". "Why?". "Because we had the power in the country". "why didn't you share it?" Big silence, sly face, hidding eyes.
"You know those Hutus are so black, so *******. They are so primitive, they are like animals!!"

Bam. That was in my face. Suddendly I understood all of the rictus and jokes about us West and Central African as not being only a "cultural" thing, or a "preference" thing.
All those "my father would kill me if I married a West African, they have such thick lips" etc.
All of the stories I heard (the Congolese guy married to this Ethiopian woman being referred to as "the slave" in the tongue by her family, and many others), all fell together.

Why so many Central and West African lighten their skin with bleach or Hydroquinone to the risk of getting cancer, or relax their hair to the risk of going bald (like many of my aunts).

That's why my aunts are all so proud to descend from this grand-mother of theirs with this long flowing straight hair and her light skin (see, not all black people are ******* with the thick lips and nappy hair). Suddendly she is endowed with the best qualities ever. Now it is a sin to underline how she was begotten (her mom got pregant from this white colonial administrator who then went back to his wife and all without even a word), but hey, who cares the origins no? who cares she was a bastard (at the time, that was big sin), who cares the father never sent a dime? She got the best of inheritances: good hair and good skin. That just redeems her, beyond imagination.
Now the worst is if she had come out with negroid features, it would have been the end of her (like happened to others in the family).

All of this, sickens me. All of those comments about our (women in the family) good hair, my mom being so thrilled about my boyfriend being white (you're gonna have beautiful babies), but criticising my siter's choice of a Hutu guy (what are you doing with one of those bantus?) etc.
But of course, no, there is nothing behind. I am probably too closed minded to see that Africa IS diversity.

Whenever people are so prone to snap and tell you how diverse African hair can be, or better that all African are not negroid, my experience is that it hides something.

I might be wrong and too stupid to see the diversity, but hey, that's my experience, in my continent, with my people, even within my family.

F.

edited by SVT to remove offensive words
 

sassygirl125

Professional PJ
</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
I might be wrong and too stupid to see the diversity, but hey, that's my experience, in my continent, with my people, even within my family.

[/ QUOTE ]

Dang. And I thought the U.S had a lock on all that skin color/good features/bad features nonsense...

I lived in Iran when I was in the 6th grade (Air Force brat). A girl from Sierra Leon (sp?) came up to me and some other black Americans and asked us if we were from Africa. Those kids wanted to beat the girl to a pulp for that 'insult'. I didn't grow up around a lot of black people, so the Africa=bad thing didn't register.
These were 6th graders. Pitiful.
 

ART11

New Member
Back to the original topic, I don't think the girl meant any harm. In the space of maybe only 2 months we have racked up over 6000 posts all on the topic of our hair. Face it, we have lots of questions, problems and issues with our hair that WE do not comprehend. How can we expect HER to know anything about it?? It was just a silly comment from someone who is understandably uninformed. We need to stop being so sensitive about the subject of being black. We don't always need to defend ourselves - there's nothing to defend. Most white people are terrified to have a civil conversation with us because they might get caught saying the wrong thing. Show the girl what a braid is then she can tell you don't have them (unelss she is mentally deficient somehow or there is really something odd going on with your hair). For example, most of us don't have any idea what Asian women go through trying to make their eyelashes stay curled (otherwise they just stand straight out). Why? It's just not our problem and we don't care...same with the co-worker and our kinky hair.

Furthermore, the older I get, I swear I have less and less patience for all of these "I am Blacker than you issues" or I am just a "teeny bit Black". If you're Black then you are Black and that means you are Black - end of conversation. If you are in my age group or older, just check your birth certificate. Mine has a nice-sized "NEGRO" stamp on it in the event that I ever get confused about what I am.

Just live your life and try to be a decent human being and learn to forgive others their shortcomings.
 

LuvableLady

New Member
I don’t think beawo posted this thread to get a lecture on her blackness. I think she posted it to simply vent her frustration about ignorance period. Most of the responses to this thread have been preaching to her saying I don’t understand why you this or that, and I don’t think it’s our place to teach her anything about how to deal with her blackness. If you have (or want) children you should instill and preach your views to them and not try to teach someone something who only wants support. She didn’t ask for help she said she wanted to vent. Had I been the topic starter, I would be quite hurt by some of these responses. With the exception of Tara, Hada, Sassygirl, Adrieen and myself the rest of you are preaching way to hard to try to prove something and you’ve made me completely confused with all this text saying I don’t know what. I jumped in because I knew what beawo was saying and I thought I could clearly explain it since Fatima was having a hard time seeing what she was trying to convey. This was a mistake because beawo did a wonderful job of explaining it herself. I apologize for trying to make you understand. I wanted to lend a helping hand.
 

ART11

New Member
Well that's rich Luvable Lady since you started it. And it's also interesting that you exempted everyone from offensiveness except Fatima and me. I talk about my children on here all of the time and I do preach my views to them - that is my job as a Mother and I take it very seriously. As a mother of (soon to be) 4, I don't have a lot of time to come in here and when I do, I want to talk about my hair. Everything in here ends up being a discussion about race - which is odd since we are all mostly Black. It's ridiculous, it's a waste of time, and it's a sure sign of insecurity. I don't care about your skin color, whether you are mocha or chocolate or caramel or any of those cutsey label we put in our names. For all I care you could be white as snow. If you have afro hair, I want to talk to you - about your hair - maybe your kids or your job on the off-topic board - but definitely not about your race. This is exhausting.

Sorry if I offended you Beawo. It was not my intent but this has exceeded my limit for foolishness (the entire conversation - not your original post). This is an internet board. You may occasionally hear something on the other side of sunshine.
 

SVT

Well-Known Member
LuvableLady:

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
I don’t think beawo posted this thread to get a lecture on her blackness. I think she posted it to simply vent her frustration about ignorance period.

[/ QUOTE ]

I didn’t read any posts that lectured beawo on her blackness. I read discussions between Fatima, Tara and hada7 that explained their understanding of the physical and psychological diversity of Africans.

Often times, posts are made that unintentionally spark a dialogue on topics unrelated to the original post. That’s the nature of communication. If a thread strays too far from the original topic, members are free to continue their spinoff conversation by starting a separate thread in the appropriate forum.


</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
Most of the responses to this thread have been preaching to her saying I don’t understand why you this or that,...

[/ QUOTE ]

If someone makes a post, they must be prepared to handle any response. Not every reader will understand as the author intended and every member has the option to reply to any post.

Readers usually interpret an author’s words within the context of their own personal experiences as they try to understand the author. This type of rationalizing may lead to a misunderstanding of the author’s emotions or intentions that becomes evident in the exchange of dialogue.

Words are sometimes not enough to communicate an author’s true emotions or to illicit the type of discussion the author had intended.


</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
…and I don’t think it’s our place to teach her anything about how to deal with her blackness.

[/ QUOTE ]

I did not read any posts that attempted to teach beawo “anything about how to deal with her blackness”. Again, I read discussions between Fatima, Tara and hada7 that explained their understanding of the physical and psychological diversity of Africans.


</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
If you have (or want) children you should instill and preach your views to them and not try to teach someone something who only wants support. She didn’t ask for help she said she wanted to vent.

[/ QUOTE ]

Regardless of an author's intentions, if they make a post, they must be prepared to handle any response. Not every reader will understand as the author intended and every member has the option to reply to any post.


</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
Had I been the topic starter, I would be quite hurt by some of these responses.

[/ QUOTE ]

If someone makes a post, they must be prepared to handle any response. Not every reader will understand as the author intended and every member has the option to reply to any post.


</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
With the exception of Tara, Hada, Sassygirl, Adrieen and myself the rest of you are preaching way to hard to try to prove something and you’ve made me completely confused with all this text saying I don’t know what.

[/ QUOTE ]

Just as you are confused by the posts of those you referred to as “the rest of you”, your posts or any other post in this thread may also confuse them and other readers.


</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
I jumped in because I knew what beawo was saying and I thought I could clearly explain it since Fatima was having a hard time seeing what she was trying to convey. This was a mistake because beawo did a wonderful job of explaining it herself. I apologize for trying to make you understand. I wanted to lend a helping hand.

[/ QUOTE ]

LuvableLady, there’s no need to apologize for trying to bring about an understanding.

If your efforts seem fruitless or engender feelings of frustration, I think it would be wise to cease replying in the thread as soon as possible. Why continue to pound against a brick wall?

Perhaps during the time that you ceased replying, other members will have posted their thoughts and the thread will have an entirely different (possibly agreeable) vibe when you revisit.
 

SVT

Well-Known Member
Let's keep this thread civil (and unlocked). Don't let it degenerate any further.
 

hada7

New Member
Fatima,

This is where we get lost. Semites originally were black peoples. Many still are. Semites does not mean 1/2 white and 1/2 black. Semite in ancient times looked just like Hamites. The correct term is Shemite- descendaent of Shem.
(white comes in from being separated as Tower of Babel) Don't forget, Ham and Shem were brothers and so was Japheth which them all what???? Black at that time.

The idea of white africans. They migrated there, end of issue.
The only natural born "whites" are albino blacks.

North Africans/Arabs are not as indigenous as other Africans. They are the ones that raided the African continent and pushed the darker "negroid types" further south. Look at todays Egypt. They are Arab not Egyptian. They are raiders and imposters. Many of your lighter so-called north Africans historically had the Greeks move in and Arabs later moved in. African in blood??? (nope)

We still seem to forget that Arabs were black also. The lighter "Arabs" come from the upper reaches of Asia OUTSIDE of the Arabic peninsula, then moved into the peninsula to where the Black Arabs were and of course, raided it and took over. So when we say Arab, what do you mean??

Encyclopedia Brtiannica is not where we should be getting our information. Look into things a little deeper instead looking at what you currently see.

Many Ethiopians and Somalians are the original Shemites. Shemites and Hamites did look alike so what you see is what they looked like. (Take note of the Joseph in Egypt story...or the Jesus in Egypt story...or Paul being called an Egyptian)

These men were Shemitic who look Hamitic or BLACK. and so did the rest of the Shemites.

This is how we have ALL been duped and fooled into thinking a certain way.

hada
 

SVT

Well-Known Member
Anyone wanting to discuss non-hair topics can do so on the off-topic board.

Thanks!
 

ART11

New Member
So true. I've have allowed myself to become rude. I think I will take a break for a few days until after I get this baby out and my hormones return to normal. My apologies to the board and anyone that may have been offended by my ill manners.
 
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