Finally found a way to love my curls.. everyone hates it!

Channy31

New Member
Last night I tried out finger coiling my hair, the results were great. Less shrinkage frizz free defined curls.

This morning I asked my house mates what they thought, they all (expect one) said they prefer my hair in a bun!

Now my house mates have never seen me wear my curls out so I knew they would be surprised but for them to basically say they don't like it pretty much puts me back at square one.

I really want to be able to wear my natural curls out confidently but still looking a bit glam! It makes me sad to know it may not be possible!

Advice?
 

Willow00

Well-Known Member
Wear your hair how you want it. Of course you're going to get negative feedback for a while if they react that way. Sooner or later, they'll actually like your curly hair or at the very least tolerate it. Honestly, at the end of the day, no one is really looking at you or your hair in any deep way. If they are, it's there problem and not yours.

ETA: I had to remember from years ago how it felt to have some people annoy/sometimes harass me about my natural hair. I'm in a point in my life that I don't care if people accept my hair. I have successful interviews (and job offers) and such in my twists, messy buns, and blonde wig. I have men from all walks of life chasing me down for my number. :lol: Nay sayers should have nothing to say to me, but there's always someone that has something to say. :look:

ETA: Your hair's lovely, OP. :yep:
 
Last edited:

Channy31

New Member
Deleted the picture now :)

Here the picture it's from last night so i'm in a huge PJ top. I'll take it down in a bit :)
 
Last edited:

HairPleezeGrow

Natural.MediumFine.3c.
Here the picture it's from last night so i'm in a huge PJ top. I'll take it down in a bit :)

Your hair is drop dead gorgeous! Wear it the way you want to and you should definitely feel confident about wearing your hair regardless on how it is styled.
 

Sholapie

Well-Known Member
Gorgeous! hawt! dunno what your housemates are talking about, some people just take a while to adjust to change, any change they may see as being less favourable than what they are used to. It looks really good (in your siggy too)
 

starchgirl

Well-Known Member
Your housemates are crazy - you have gorgeous hair. How they view your hair is meaningless. How you view yourself is all that matters. Once you make the mental transition to learn to love your hair the way it grows out of your head, the confidence to rock your curls will follow.
 

Lymegreen

Well-Known Member
I think your hair looks great! I think you can work on perfecting that style also. I notice the part area. Although it looks GREAT! please don't get me wrong!

You may try to find products that can make that area as smooth as the rest. Maybe a no part? or a fluffy (not slicked down) more defined curl starting closer to the root.

Products like:
Afroveda Whipped Gelly - light/medium hold
Aubrey Organics B Gel - light hold
Curl Gel-les’c - very light hold

If you twist just the root area with any one of these you may be surprised at how it will change the look at the root.
 
Last edited:

Angel of the North

Well-Known Member
Your curls are beautiful, you should wear your hair in its natural state more often. If you wear your curls more, you'll start to feel more confident about them, then you won't care what anyone else thinks. As for your flatmates, I'm sure they are referring to their personal preferences and not necessarily whether your hair looked nice, we all love your hair and we can't all be wrong
 

CaraWalker

Well-Known Member
your hair looks fantastic, so ima need for you to completely disregard the opinions of your braindead roommates.
 

Pennefeather

Well-Known Member
Beautiful hair!:yep: Love your curls! :yep: Just remember that the only person that you have to please is you! As you get older, you will be more self confident, and feel better about not asking others their opinion or at least not taking it to heart.

If my hair was as lovely as yours I would have guys and women flocking around me! :grin: Be yourself, and remember that you are an original. Do not ask for their input in the future if you are happy with what you have.

Image how your housemates would feel if you let them know that you didn't like their straight hair.:lol:
 

Froreal3

haulin hard in the paint
Last night I tried out finger coiling my hair, the results were great. Less shrinkage frizz free defined curls.

This morning I asked my house mates what they thought, they all (expect one) said they prefer my hair in a bun!

Now my house mates have never seen me wear my curls out so I knew they would be surprised but for them to basically say they don't like it pretty much puts me back at square one.

I really want to be able to wear my natural curls out confidently but still looking a bit glam! It makes me sad to know it may not be possible!

Advice?


*** em. If you like it, they have to love it. Your hair looks fine btw.
 

NaturallyATLPCH

Well-Known Member
I think you should reread the title of this thread...you said finally FOUND A WAY TO LOVE MY CURLS. Love...your...curls...you love your curls...how other people feel is so irrelevant even if they are in the same household.
 

koolkittychick

Well-Known Member
Your hair is beautiful! Why are you seriously entertaining the opinions of a bunch of white boys who have no frame of reference for the diversity of beauty, and probably hold the gold standard of what's hot to be white, straight-haired, blonde and blue-eyed? Do you really think they would be able to give you an objective opinion as to whether your hair is pretty or not based on that standard? Trust me, there are scads of people--of all colors--who would agree with me in saying your natural hair is beautiful, so I wouldn't put much stock in a bunch of little boys. :ohwell:
 

sharifeh

Well-Known Member
@Channy31

your hair is really beautiful. I totally didn't grow up around many black people (i grew up mostly around my mom's side of the family) and let me tell you it makes a big difference. I'm so happy I have more black people in my life now. I totally feel you, but seriously your housemates have no taste. It looks sooo nice!
 

Harina

Well-Known Member
Your hair is lovely.

Honestly, I wouldn't worry too much about anything that comes out of the mouths of young white American? men. They have delusionally high standards when it comes to women's looks, especially if you are not white. I troll other message boards from time to time and they will literally look at a picture like the one below and say things like she would be beautiful if her hair was straight and everyone will agree. Don't lose sleep over it. Maybe you could start a little black hair circle at your school.


 

kupenda

Well-Known Member
Its gorgeous. Wear it curly more just to spite them until youre so used to looking beyond glam that its second nature. The volume and curlicues are beautiful. Straight hair is fine but it lacks personality. So do most boys honestly
 

tocktick

Well-Known Member
Wear your hair the way in which makes you happy. People will always have their opinions about what you should or shouldn't be doing and how they think you look best.

I actually have a similar 'problem' but guys prefer my hair out and big as opposed to in a bun. Although I generally prefer my hair out, I prefer to bun. Their opinions are always unsolicited and I don't give much significance to it. They're not people I'm trying to impress.
 

BonBon

Well-Known Member
This morning I asked my house mates what they thought, they all (expect one) said they prefer my hair in a bun!

Being completely honest I'm surprised you asked them and put so much stock into their answer.

Unlike others I don't think these guys are crazy. Some of them might not like curly hair and thats OK!

It's like me going up to groups of men and asking if they like darkskinned black women lol. I'd get a mixture of replies from group to group and thats normal because they have the right to like what they like. Self esteem is not meant to come from other people.

The approach I take as a woman and as a woman who finds beauty in her difference is..

Figure out what I love. Show it off. Be glamourous, radiate and love my difference :). The people who like it compliment me. Damned if I will be asking men for approval (especially those I'm not interested in) over my looks and taking it to heart. Whats the point. Not everyone likes the same thing.
 

DarkJoy

Bent. Not Broken.
I would kill for your curl definition.

One thing you should learn about men is they HATE change. It freaks them out. To see a bun turn into BIG curly hair is a huge change for them :lol: They will warm to it and the compliments will come after a week or so.

And btw, dont be so worried about what others think. You'll live a miserable existence otherwise.
 

Channy31

New Member
Ladies thank you so much, this nearly brought me to tears. I'm going to attempt to wear my hair curly but I'm scared. I'm more scared of how my girl friends will react :(
 

Channy31

New Member
Wear your hair how you want it. Of course you're going to get negative feedback for a while if they react that way. Sooner or later, they'll actually like your curly hair or at the very least tolerate it. Honestly, at the end of the day, no one is really looking at you or your hair in any deep way. If they are, it's there problem and not yours.

E













Thanks you guys basically brought me to tears!
 
Top