Would you leave???

Joined a church about 6 mths ago-church just relocated to the neighborhood from the inner city. Pastor can really preach-strong anointing, wonderful first lady but other members of congregation ( mainly women my age) have the worse attitude/disposition, unfriendly ,some just plain mean-ie don't want to hold your hand at the alter/laugh and talk about you if they don't know you. It's a small church full of family. There are a lot of other churches I could attend so as much as I love the word there I have to get out. I'm tired of the mean, immature grown women. The pastor and first lady know how certain members of the congregation are. We were warned in the new members class to be careful who you befriend. It's just too much-tired of being nice to people at that church only to be treated badly.

I would leave. That is the house of God. I understand no one is perfect but who brings drama in the house of the Lord?

I would talk to the pastor there should be no excuse for rude behavior. If I felt he wouldn't or couldn't do anything would leave.

As a new member if I were in a new member's class and they had to tell me to watch who I befriend and tell me about drama, then I would instantly lose interest.

I would expect to get that type of speech in high school or maybe even a job....... but church, no.

cherryhair123 said:

Joined a church about 6 mths ago-church just relocated to the neighborhood from the inner city. Pastor can really preach-strong anointing, wonderful first lady but other members of congregation ( mainly women my age) have the worse attitude/disposition, unfriendly ,some just plain mean-ie don't want to hold your hand at the alter/laugh and talk about you if they don't know you. It's a small church full of family. There are a lot of other churches I could attend so as much as I love the word there I have to get out. I'm tired of the mean, immature grown women. The pastor and first lady know how certain members of the congregation are. We were warned in the new members class to be careful who you befriend. It's just too much-tired of being nice to people at that church only to be treated badly.

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Heaven is the ULTIMATE HIGH ...a place you don't want to miss ... there's not much here on earth to get you ready for Heaven. But God will give you 'Heavenly glimpses and experiences' such so you will really look forward to getting there! (lol) He wants you to know what's coming when you get to Heaven, but you must to seek after His Heart - be a doer of His WORD, and not just someone who hears it, and walk away. So please get your eyes off of people in the churches, and don't let the people, the fame, the riches, the pride, and the lusts in some of these churches cause you to miss experiencing a little 'heaven on earth' before we get there

Op, G-d gives us choices and free will. If you are not comfortable and do not feel effective where you are, find where you can work in that community. No one should be "held" to a congregation where they are not comfortable, feel no safety, no communion with others and are being spiritually abused. Walking the path of Christ and remaining in a negative environment are not the same thing, exactly. You can walk for Christ anywhere, as long as you walk for Him. Sometimes He sends difficult situations. But only you will know if you should move on. He is the author of freedom. You are not bound if you know He is not binding you to them.

That's a very strange and sad situation. If you do decide to leave, at least talk to the pastor about it.


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cherryhair123 said:

We were warned in the new members class to be careful who you befriend. It's just too much-tired of being nice to people at that church only to be treated badly.

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That warning is a red flag, but I'd attempt to discern whether the Lord has a purpose in you being there. You don't necessarily have a duty to stay, but where the Lord calls us is not always about where we'd like to be. People have been called to minister in worse places, and God can work through us best when we don't react to situations based on our emotions. So please do pray about whether you should stay, and if so, what purpose the Lord has for you there. Also pray to be a great example to the others while you're figuring it all out. Genuine love given to the undeserving is a powerful thing.


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I would say acknowledge God. You wont ever find a church where EVERYONE is doing right. The bible says in EVERY great house, there are vessels to honor and vessels to dishonor. In the New testament, Paul was always addressing churches because of the confusion going on. Does it mean the whole church was bad? No. It was just a people causing disscord and division. If the true word of God is being preached and you see yourself drawing closer to God and changing....dont just get up and leave because there a few troublemakers. God may have you there to be a light, to show others the way. Now, is the leader of your church is involved in the mess, then thats different.But this is all speculations im drawing..bottom line...acknowlegde God about it.

I'd echo everything that nicola kirwan said above...

Alicialynn86 said:

I would say acknowledge God. You wont ever find a church where EVERYONE is doing right. The bible says in EVERY great house, there are vessels to honor and vessels to dishonor. In the New testament, Paul was always addressing churches because of the confusion going on. Does it mean the whole church was bad? No. It was just a people causing disscord and division. If the true word of God is being preached and you see yourself drawing closer to God and changing....dont just get up and leave because there a few troublemakers. God may have you there to be a light, to show others the way. Now, is the leader of your church is involved in the mess, then thats different.But this is all speculations im drawing..bottom line...acknowlegde God about it.

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And also the wheat and the tare will grow together.

I say pray but in the same breathe there were warning signs such as the new member class that told you from the jump to watch for folks..thats a problem from the jump.Even if the Word is good all the nonsense is draining.The church is suppose to be a haven in which you can be restored not torn down.The world does that greatly enough.

OP I used to visit a church like that...and honestly there was no way I'd have joined.. too many red flags. I hope that you decided to take this to God in prayer, because like someone mentioned...you may be there for a reason, since you've already joined. Could be the pastors are praying for more members like you. If you decide to leave, I hope you at least speak to them before exiting graciously.

OP this sounds like my home (I was born into it) church. They possess those same qualities and also have a high divorce rate despite always playing The Dating Game from within. I left after I got married.

I currently attend a different church with a mixed, nice, welcome congregation and dh and I have been blessed ever since. Pray about it and let God lead you.
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OP, thanks for posting your situation, as I am dealing with the same thing in my current church. DH and I have been there for awhile, but it still doesn't feel like " home". The pastor has the ability to preach the Word in a way that really helps me retain it, and that is important to me, but some of the other members are mean and like to gossip.

It's a sad thing to walk into the house of the Lord and the ushers can't even greet you or are frowning. Some of the women in the church are also quick to look down on a young girl who comes to church wearing something a little tight; how about giving the girl a hug or encouragement instead of judging her so she will keep coming and maybe learn to dress appropriately in God's house. I am there for the Word, which is why I keep going to this church, but I will pray for discernment about whether to remain there. The pastor and first lady are younger than previous pastors/wives I've known and at times aloof towards members who are not in their inner circle.

The one thing that I have found over the years is that what you run from, usually follows you. These spirits become familiar to what you can't handle and try to run you down...the enemy comes but to steal, kill and ultimately destroy.....BUT GOD! He said that He will give you life and life more abundantly!!!!!

I say: DON'T RUN FROM IT! Deal with it face to face and overcome it by your loving attitude and steadfast spirit. When its time for you to move on, the Holy Spirit will let you know. You want to let your light so shine upon men that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven!