Naturals that went back to relaxing, any regrets?

jamaicalovely

Well-Known Member
I'm a newbie but I can share my experience with this. I was natural for about a year but I didn't really know how to take care of my hair in its natural state. I got frustrated with trying to wear it straight and slapped a perm in. looking back i do regret it and think how long my hair would have been if I could have just held on :( but I am try to see if I can grow my hair out with a relaxer. I didn't know all of the things I was doing wrong so I just thought my hair was destined to be short and never grow past my neck. I know now what I have to do and I really to feel like I can have long, healthy, RELAXED, hair now that I'm on the right track. I have seen so many great people on this board do it so I know it's possible. Hope my two cents helped!

Jess,
I love your fotki with your short cuts and bob cuts. Girl...you had me tempted to cut my hair again.
 

Mystic

Well-Known Member
That's funny! :lachen::lachen:

ok here is the honest to G-d truth.

I've only been re-relaxed for a few weeks and trust me when I say that I don't miss a damn thing about being natural. I thought I was going to feel some kind of guilt or regret when I sat in the stylist chair, but that sooooo didn't happen. The first time I washed my hair and was able to detangle in less than a minute, I felt like somebody had just let me out of jail.

I think the reason I felt this way was that I never put too much emphasis on natural hair being part of my identity. I wore a bun with natural hair and I wear a bun with relaxed hair. The bun is representative of my style and personality, the crinklyness or straightness of the bun is just a means to the end.

So my long winded answer is - no regrets.
 

RegaLady

New Member
ok here is the honest to G-d truth.

I'm lightweight mad that I went natural in the first place.

I went natural because I thought it would be easier to retain length. When I think about how much hair I have cut off in the past 3+ years due to knots (don't even mention my BC) I'm like I just wasted my time and length.

I've only been re-relaxed for a few weeks and trust me when I say that I don't miss a damn thing about being natural. I thought I was going to feel some kind of guilt or regret when I sat in the stylist chair, but that sooooo didn't happen. The first time I washed my hair and was able to detangle in less than a minute, I felt like somebody had just let me out of jail.

I think the reason I felt this way was that I never put too much emphasis on natural hair being part of my identity. I wore a bun with natural hair and I wear a bun with relaxed hair. The bun is representative of my style and personality, the crinklyness or straightness of the bun is just a means to the end.

So my long winded answer is - no regrets.
Very interesting!!!:yep:
 

RegaLady

New Member
To be honest with me, when I wear short cuts or bobs, I don't miss being natural. I prefer a relaxer with shorter hair. You can just cut off what is damaged. But if I am gonna grow my hair longer, I think I would regret getting a relaxer:ohwell:.
 

aja1121

Well-Known Member
If your hair thrived better relaxed than go for it. I am natural and I consider relaxers every now and again when detangling kicks my ass, but then I think about how my hair was relaxed. I thrive better natural. In the end, it is always about the health of the hair. Natural hair isn't the healthiest for everybody. If you ever miss your puff or fro, throw some small perm rods in and pick 'em out!
 

felicia

New Member
Thanks, everyone. I'm so torn, I think I'm getting on everyone's nerves with this back and forth. I was all set on relaxing last night, but this morning I changed my mind (for the 20th time) lol. The thing is doing my hair is so time consuming ( 6 hours to do wash, condition, & twist), but I really don't have time to do it. I'm at school for 14 hours two days out of the week, plus I have tons of homework during the week, and by the weekend I don't feel like doing anything else. So I just wear it in shrunken fros. I know that's where my knots are coming from, but I don't have time to do it. I have to make my decision by Saturday (I'm going home & my mother does my relaxers). I was thinking of either letting her press it or relax. Hmmm, I don't know.

The thing is, I was able to keep my relaxed hair healthy (except when I jumped on the Henna bandwagon) and grow it to midback length. For some odd reason, I worry about putting the relaxer back on my hair.

Anyway, thanks, everyone for your input and honesty. Btw, which relaxer did you use?
 

firecracker

Well-Known Member
I had no regrets being texturized and I'm sure I won't be regretting going bone straight again in a month or so. JessCNU your avatar hair is very pretty!
 

butterfly3582

New Member
No regrets.

I went natural because I wanted to start over with my hair. I was natural for about a year but it was not for me. It was hard to detangle.

I was afraid to get relaxed again because that is the reason my hair broke off in the first place. But after understanding hair care I see why my hair broke off. It was not because of the perm but because of my lack (and many beauticians as well) of understanding of how to properly care for my hair.
 

chokolate miss

New Member
this is my second time natural. i think about relaxing almost every other day. when i do get that feeling i call my homegirl and she reminds me about the way i felt the first time i relaxed my natural hair. i felt horrible, but that is just me. my hair is time comsuming, and dry at times, and tangled at times too. but i realize that it took me a long time to learn my relaxed hair. i want to reach my goal as a natural and then go from there. and seeing as though my goal is 100% natural, no color, mbl hair and i have sl...it's going to be a while:lachen:but after all of that i say this, i love hair:relaxed, natural, texlaxed! i hate this saying, but i'll use it now "do you". there is no need to feel like a traitor if you go back to relaxed. all of us here want healthy beautiful hair no matter what...end rant, lol!
 

Incredible1ne

Well-Known Member
The only thing I miss sometimes is my twist and braidout, it would always look nice for one day. I lightly texturized in December and texlaxed a few months later. No regrets at all. The splits, the knots, the tangles were a huge hindrance to growth and I did not want to be in a protective style all the time in order to gain length.
 

hopeful

Well-Known Member
Thanks, everyone. I'm so torn, I think I'm getting on everyone's nerves with this back and forth. I was all set on relaxing last night, but this morning I changed my mind (for the 20th time) lol. The thing is doing my hair is so time consuming ( 6 hours to do wash, condition, & twist), but I really don't have time to do it.

...

Felicia, that was me. I could just not take the 5-6 hour deal any more. At least you have an option: the shrunken fro. I have never worn one, my hair shrinks too unevenly--I would look crazy:spinning:. I wouldn't relax if I wasn't sure though. I think that eventually one day soon you will either find an easier way to deal with your natural hair or you will be like me and just not be able to take it anymore. Best of luck to you.
 

Neith

New Member
Nope, no regrets at all.

I will go natural again in the future when I have a decent length.

Me being natural with short hair is a no no. I was tired of "looking" like I was bald with all the shrinkage.
 

DarkAngell

Well-Known Member
OP i tossed around the idea for a while, annoying the crap outta of a everyone around me. One day i wanted to relax, one day i didn't, one day i wanted to textlex, the next day i wanted to stay natural. Part of me even felt guilty about going back to relaxer. But finally one day i made my decision and i was sure about it this time. And i've been happy about it. Some have made comments to me about how i shouldn't have done it or i'm gonna regret it....but @ the end of the day i LOVE my hair and that's something i was never able to say when it was both bone straight OR natural.

Don't worry, keep thinkin about what you want to do, just don't make a snap decision that's all. Its your hair and you could do what you want to it.
 

MJ

New Member
I've been natural --> relaxed --> natural --> relaxed --> natural. Looking back, I have never really enjoyed my hair -- natural or relaxed. There were always reasons why I felt and looked miserable with my hair.

All my life, my hair has been a burden - a source of misery and despair!

(I'm shocked by this realization. I didn't realized I felt this way :nono:. I think I had a breakthrough :yep:.)
 
Last edited:

trj1922

New Member
This post made me think about something I forgot about for a minute. After I first went natural in back high school, I tried to texturize one time. I didn't like it and cut it right back off to go natural again after a few weeks. Never looked back. For my head of hair, I don't think a relaxer is compatible with long healthy hair. :nono: I do have the knot problem but I search and destroy rather than do major trims every five mins. With more knowledge about what works product-wise and more diligent detangling and care, this problem is lessening. With the relaxer, I felt like I still had major tangling, but my hair was too weak and would break during detangling a lot more. I also got way more split ends. Besides, I just like my natural hair better and don't like salon visits. I ain't mad at the relaxed sistas, though. We all just do what's best for us and our hair. :look:
 

Serenity K

New Member
This thread is right on time for me. I have been going back and forth w/the idea of relaxing/texlaxing for over 2 years. Last week I bought the relaxer, and I'm texlaxing this weekend. I've never had a relaxer though, so I have no idea how my hair will respond. I'm ready for a change. Plus my natural hair is not looking like I would like, and I kinda want a twa (I have a baa). So I say why not relax-if I like it cool, if not cut it. I just feel really free now. I let go of the guilt I was feeling about wanting to relax. I love my natural hair, and will be natural again, but I look forward to the change. (And being able to go to a salon and get a wash and set for $10-$25.
 

prettywhitty

Well-Known Member
Sometimes I think about relaxing again...espicially when I look at old pics of my hair. I miss having long hair.
 

Forever in Bloom

Well-Known Member
This post made me think about something I forgot about for a minute. After I first went natural in back high school, I tried to texturize one time. I didn't like it and cut it right back off to go natural again after a few weeks. Never looked back. For my head of hair, I don't think a relaxer is compatible with long healthy hair. :nono: I do have the knot problem but I search and destroy rather than do major trims every five mins. With more knowledge about what works product-wise and more diligent detangling and care, this problem is lessening. With the relaxer, I felt like I still had major tangling, but my hair was too weak and would break during detangling a lot more. I also got way more split ends. Besides, I just like my natural hair better and don't like salon visits. I ain't mad at the relaxed sistas, though. We all just do what's best for us and our hair. :look:

I completely agree with the bolded!! I have only been natural for 9 months, and a couple days ago I was contemplating a relaxer (or texturizer) because I was tired of the tangling issues. But I have made a pact with my hair. I am NOT going to throw in the towel. I didn't cut off 10 inches of hair in order to stop trying. Yes, I do deal with tangles galore, matting, and knots, but I had to think long and hard about what the problem was: I was getting too complacent with my hair. Since it has grown longer, the issues have grown also. My hair is 6 inches, but seems like 12. I realized that my hair loves water-based moisturizers. It doesn't mind tasting butters, pomades, heck - even grease! But it loves anything milky or creamy because that kills the tangles.

Though I went Ayurvedic recently, my hair has been telling me that I NEED to train it before throwing powders and oils in it. So you know what I did? I went and bought what my hair has been begging me to buy for the past month - regular ol' Creme of Nature Detangling shampoo. It's the only shampoo that has allowed my fingers to glide through wihout a problem. I could always do a cowash with my Indian powders and conditioners, so they will not go to waste :rolleyes:

I'm gonna make this natural thing work and give it what it needs!!
 

Mandy4610

Well-Known Member
Don't you wish someone would just tell you what to do then you can blame them if it goes wrong?:blush:
Sorry, I am not helping, but I am in the same situation and I have stopped posting about it because I too was annoying the good out of everyone.:ohwell:
Just don't make a rushed decision, you will be fine:grin:
 

SmartyPants

New Member
Why or why not? I'm thinking of going back b/c the knots & split ends are kicking my butt. I didn't have any major problems when I relaxed, but I'm super scared of going back. Any advice?

Thanks

I went natural because my relaxed hair was constantly breaking and I couldn't get it to grow. I always preferred my hair straight. Once I found this board, it was easy to make the decision to relax again. I have no regrets.
 

Anew

New Member
After seeing Reniece and other natural ladies, I almost think about going natural. But then there's ladies like Sylver and Macherie and Babygurl and think it could be just as healthy either way. I know this doesn't pertain to the thread topic, lol
 

loulou82

Well-Known Member
After seeing Reniece and other natural ladies, I almost think about going natural. But then there's ladies like Sylver and Macherie and Babygurl and think it could be just as healthy either way. I know this doesn't pertain to the thread topic, lol

I was deliberating the same thing last year. In the end I decided to transition, I figured "now" was the time because my hair was only 5 inches and if my hair grew any longer I would hesitate cutting it off to become natural. So I took the plunge. I'm not opposed to relaxers because I foresee me going back to straight hair in a few years but as a presser not a relaxed head.
 
Top