Proverbs 31 Woman duties/role as a Christian wife?

HomesteaderDreams

Active Member
The most important thing is to pray. Pray with your husband and for your husband.

Pray:

*that temptations will be removed before they can ever become part of his mind, heart, or experience
*that God will show you what he needs/desires and that God will enable you to fulfill those needs/desires EVERY day with a happy heart
*that God will bless the intimacy in your marriage. Do not use sex as a weapon or tool to get what you want. Do not use it to manipulate or wield power. Sex in marriage is a very beautiful thing and God is honored when we enjoy that intimacy with our spouse. God wants our sex lives to excellent.
*that God will bless you to enjoy being a wife, enjoy spending time with your husband, and bless you to find joy in submitting to and serving him
*that God will enable you to dress and carry yourself in a manner that your husband finds enthralling, honorable, dignified, and beautiful.
*that God will fill you with the desire to put your husband first in your life after God (yes, this means your husband comes before your children)
*that God will bless you and your husband with much fruit (children) and that He will give you both the same heart an desire for children that He has
*that God will give you the right words, countenance, body language when your husband is sharing his heart with you. Men are a lot more sensitive than we often think. They find it very disrespectful when they choose to share and we don't listen. Even a negative or blank facial expression can be perceived as disinterest or disrespect
*that God gives you genuine words of praise for your husband and the opportunities to lavish him with those words. Men seek to be respected and admired by their wives. To them, that is love. The words of praise that he needs to hear every day should come foremost from your mouth as his wife. The last thing you want is for him to get the praise he needs so badly from the world and especially not from female coworkers.
*that God will show you when to speak and when to listen. Ask God to give you the right words for your husband at all times but especially when you two are in a disagreement or when you are angry with him. Pray and ask God for the right timing and words before you share something with you husband that pertains to him having displeased you
*Thank God for your husband EVERY day, thank God for his work ethic and the way he takes care of your family.
*as God to bless you to view your husband through God's eyes
*that God enable you to make the home a haven for your husbands spirit. That your home and your presence will be so pleasing to him that he'll be sad to leave in the morning and overjoyed to return home at night.

DO:

*Send him flowers (men seldom get these and they are very sensitive/appreciative os such gestures. They want to feel loved just as much if not more than we do)
*Be gentle with his heart. Don't laugh at his dreams/desires. When he speaks negatively of himself, share your heart with him about why those things are untrue. Tell him all of the positive things you see in him (you'll be able to do this even when you are angry with him if you are consistently praying that God will enable you to view him the same way God does).
*Touch him. Rub his back, rub his feet, run your finger through his hair. Men need touch that is and also isn't just related to sex. It reminds them that you find them attractive and irresistible. They need to feel desired by YOU. His desire for human touch needs to be primarily filled by YOU.
*Kiss him. Not them tiny, quick pecks either. KISS him and make his toes curl.
*Feed him with good food made from your own hands. Put down the heavily processed, frozen foods. Feed him! Oh, and serve his plate too, even when you are in the company of others.
*keep the home in order
*never call a repair man before you have spoken to your husband--men like to men and many men will not a repair man immediately. Men like to be responsible for their own castle and they want their wives to depend on them and trust their instincts. While following this tip, also pray that God gives your husband wisdom!
*I am a stay at home wife and mother, so I run whatever errands I can to help my husband out. I also try to minimize errands that I ask him to run because he works a lot of hours. However, the more God blessed me to be mindful of hubby's needs in this area, the more God blessed me by having hubby offer to help me! Every evening without fail, he will call before he leaves work and ask if there is anything I need him to get/do on the way home. He could be dog tired but he'll call and ask. If I need something he takes care of it with a good attitude. This is a tremendous blessing to me and it shows how God meets our needs when we meet the needs of others.
*Tell him you love him
*wear his favorite perfume, hairstyle, dress, lingerie,....etc. It lets him know that you value his opinion
*Let your compliments far outweigh your criticisms
*Listen, listen, listen
*Don't nag. Ask God to give you favor with your husband.
*realize men need social time with other men. Don't be the wife who hates his friends and is unwelcoming. If he is having friends over put in the same effort you would put in if you were having friends over. His friend matter to him just like your matter to you. If they are watching sports and you are not participating in that, then make snacks and prepare a nice spread of food and drinks. Show Christian love and hospitality. Plus, if you home is the preferred gathering place (I am talking about a normal amount of social gathering and not excess) then you know what's going on and that their is Christian influence in your own home. Pray that God blesses your husband with Christian male friends who can serve as accountability partners, as well as an older Christian male as a mentor.
*If your husband loves sports, watch with him or go to the game with him. Try to get involved where you can/where it's appropriate in the things he enjoys. Men respond to that and you'll see him make an effort to get involved in the pastimes you enjoy as well.
*Smile at him EVERY day--the type of smile that makes your eyes sparkle and shows true joy. Just look at the wonderful man you married and admire him--the way he looks, his strong hands, his strong shoulders. Let him see the love you have for him in your eyes.
*When he is sick simply take care of him without complaining or making fun of how he may make a cold seem like the loss of a limb. Remember their hearts and feelings are really quite fragile. Men seldom let others see them in vulnerable positions. So...when he makes a mountain out the molehill of a cold that he has...he is really showing that he trusts you and loves you very much. He is willing to be vulnerable with you and is trusting you with his heart. Don't laugh at him even if you really want to. Just love on him and baby him a bit. He'll appreciate it and will bounce back faster.
*Let him protect you. You are under your husband's covering. Men have God-given protective instincts. When he expresses a concern for you or the children take it seriously and do what he asks.


Thank you for this. I really needed to hear each and every one of these points and I will begin to implement them today. When my husband wakes up in another hour, I will ( Shimmie ) extend my beautiful hands and ask him to pray with me...And be more of a helper to my husband. Everything we wives do really should be to help our husbands. That is precisely why we were put here in the first place. I'll need to print this out and post it in the corner of my private bath (hubby doesnt go in there, as he considers it my lady cave).
 

HomesteaderDreams

Active Member
I have already posted way too much, but I felt compelled to add:

If you are reading books pertaining to marriage and/or motherhood as you prepare for your blessing....just know that it is imperative that the books you read must be written from a Christian perspective. The world holds no wisdom for a child of God in relation to marriage and parenting. I will post some good book titles later, but if you pray and ask God to lead you in this area, He will lead you to the resources you need.


Right now, I'm reading "Wife School." next will be '"Created to be His Helpmeet." I think both are really good.
 

Blackpearl1993

Well-Known Member
I was listening to a book from a Christian blogger. She gave a really good tip. Try to use tangible reminder/cues to whisper little prayers for your husband throughout the day. My husband leaves his socks on the floor whenever he sits down after returning home--believe it or not I have grown to love this. I say a little prayer for him when I pick up his socks. The blogger mentioned praying for your husband whenever your wedding ring catches your eye during the day. That's a whole lot of praying power to lavish on the man you love. Prayer moves mountains, as we all know.
 

stephluv

Well-Known Member
Hello ladies my apologies for my absence but I need this forum in my life

blqlady Had posted a top question that I would love to get feedback on from especially the wives What qualities make a good husband?

In my experience I've seen Proberb31 wives who after some conditioning and a few seasons finally have their good husband lol Not everyone will marry a man that is prepared to be that Great husband but with a wife's prayer and encouragement it will happen as God has put her there to be his helpmeet Remember a man leaves one fam to cleave to his wife sowhat should she be striving to see in her mate?
 

Jace032000

Well-Known Member
Thank you for this. I really needed to hear each and every one of these points and I will begin to implement them today. When my husband wakes up in another hour, I will ( Shimmie ) extend my beautiful hands and ask him to pray with me...And be more of a helper to my husband. Everything we wives do really should be to help our husbands. That is precisely why we were put here in the first place. I'll need to print this out and post it in the corner of my private bath (hubby doesnt go in there, as he considers it my lady cave).


This was beautiful---thank you so much for sharing. I really needed to read this.
 

MrsMe

Well-Known Member
Love this thread! Thank you to all the ladies who chimed in. I see I still have a lot of work to do.

Sent from my phone...typos and autocorrect galore
 

Benuontherise

Active Member
Hello ladies,

I'm a newly wed only have been married for two years but I have learned a lot. Some of the things I have learned about wife duties are that it's important that your husband knows that you love him. I know that it sounds simple but men really need to be catered to and shown that they are loved by their wives. Women can get things confused sometimes I think, such as thinking that doing their expected duties such as house management is her showing her love. But not really that's the mandatory. It's the things that aren't mandatory that shows your love for him, it makes me think about the the proverbs 31 a virtuous women when it speaks about how his hearts trust in her. He trust that she loves him and has the good interest of the family not just herself. He knows she won't cheat on him and not just physically but also spiritually. Dedicating her love only to him under God, no to herself or anyone else outside of the house. This love to your DH even when you feel exhausted or unloved/unappreciated yourself will help make the bond stronger give no wedge for the devil to wiggle in...truly this is key. I pray this has helped any ladies needing the message, including myself as a reminder.

God bless ladies
 
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Nina_S

Well-Known Member
I recently finished a few really good books:

Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires, The Respect He Desperately Needs by Emerson Eggerichs
Uncommon Marriage by Tony & Lauren Dungy
Things I Wish I'D Known Before We Got Married by Gary Chapman

I'm in preparation mode and I have a lot to learn. Thank all of you ladies for your advice and wisdom!

 

*SkolarStar*

Well-Known Member
God works in wonders. I prayed asking God to guide me to the right resources on what makes a good wife. He led me here. And I'm never in this part of the forum, but He said, go there. And here I come to a wealth of knowledge!

I read this entire thread and now I'm going back to page 1 to read a few posts at a time to really internalize and put to practice the advice the man I'm with now. See how it works. Even if we break up, at least I got some practice in. :look:
 

lonei

Well-Known Member
Very interesting. My husband and I are Christians and we have been married for almost 8 years and with little or much, I would choose him again every time. We actually wrote a book on love called The Colours of Love Relationship Manual which gives a real yet biblically principled way to doing relationships. It might help someone out. www.thecoloursoflove.co.uk x
 

Blackpearl1993

Well-Known Member

delitefulmane

Well-Known Member
I posted this in the relationship forum because initially I didn't know whether to create a thread here or what.

New wife here :wavey: Just wondering how you wives get your husbands to help you with different chores and things around the house? I don't EVER what to be a nagging wife but if I ask once and nothing happens. What next?

I believe how I respond will affect how he responds.
Thoughts Christian wives?
 

Highly Favored8

Well-Known Member
I posted this in the relationship forum because initially I didn't know whether to create a thread here or what.

New wife here :wavey: Just wondering how you wives get your husbands to help you with different chores and things around the house? I don't EVER what to be a nagging wife but if I ask once and nothing happens. What next?

I believe how I respond will affect how he responds.
Thoughts Christian wives?


Congratulations!
 

Maracujá

November 2020 --> 14 years natural!!!
Eversince turning 31 in july, I have decided to study Proverbs 31 until july next year. So a whole entire year on Proverbs 31:10-31. Sometimes I do Google searches on this scripture and notice that a lot of Christian women dismiss this passage in the Bible as entirely fictional and not even plausible in real life. I fully disagree, not only because by that token all of the Bible could be seen as 'not practical', but also because I've seen it at work in my own life when I was living in Luanda (Angola, Africa).

For example: there is the passage about how the Proverbs 31 woman has maidens that help her. And in our 21st century mind, we immediately think of paid help. But the etymology of the word maiden means 'virgin girl' or 'servant'. This means that the women who were helping her were unmarried women, probably from her church or her family. Which also gave her the opportunity to live up to he Titus 2 role as a wife and mother in these young women's lives.

This is a topic that is so dear to my heart because of the influx of women complaining about being tired all the time. Women look frazzled on a daily basis nowadays and that simply did not use to be the case. Women are trying to do too much, all by themselves and that is simply not necessary at all. Also, this is a good way to keep young women from being lured by worldly things. For us unmarried women nowadays, this requires a complete mind shift as most of us also have to tend to our own apartments. But I can really see the benefits in this, even if you only sacrifice one day out of the week to helping a Godly wife/mommy from your close circle. It's an investment imo.
 

Maracujá

November 2020 --> 14 years natural!!!
This is what I wrote in the Christian Singles Thread (remix) earlier this year:

I turned 31 about two weeks ago and decided to study Proverbs 31 for an entire year. This morning I did some research on the meaning of the ruby stone and apparently it stands for faithful, passionate love and closeness to a spouse (among many other things). It also only comes second to diamonds! And our worth as women is above that!

The reason why God addressed 'worth' in the first verses of the Proverbs 31 chapter is because that is what we as women most struggle with, whether single or married. Y'all will be amazed at the many properties of the ruby stone if you do a Google search!
 

Lucia

Well-Known Member
This is what I wrote in the Christian Singles Thread (remix) earlier this year:



The reason why God addressed 'worth' in the first verses of the Proverbs 31 chapter is because that is what we as women most struggle with, whether single or married. Y'all will be amazed at the many properties of the ruby stone if you do a Google search!

You have a good point here

I've noticed hat there are some women at work or anywhere will matter of factly talking about sex out in the open with explicit details. I was sitting in our cafeteria at work and 2 out of the 12 women there took the convo south 1 in the group was going to a bachelorette party in vegas-well I should have left right here but I was finished my lunch then the convo started deteriorating because of the 2 raunchy chicks.

That's when I grabbed my stuff and left. I mean I felt like it was not a convo tonhave at work with your immediate boss and some coworkers around that's a private convo and sometimes it shouldn't be a convo at all just a monologue in your head if you're so inclined. These women are debasigntenselves and showing everyone how low their self worth is.

This is not the first time I've heard a woman just blurt out oversexualized tidbits in the wrong venue. I know this also maybe has to do with the being low class in general and not knowing your not supposed to talk like that.

Then these are the same women who wonder why men don't treat them with respect. Umm you have to at least act like a lady to get men to respect you. Done ranting for now.
 
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