Just because I have curls and coils does not make it easier to grow

I just want to rant for a bit...

I kind of hate the fact that my hair is seen as easy to take care of just for the sole fact that I have visible curls and coils. Someone told me recently that my hair looked "thick and hard" and this is when I went out with no styling product in my hair. The next day I did a wash n go and saw the same woman and she was in shock. She told me " I didn't know you had good hair. I thought you had that "thick" type of hair."

My natural hair has never grown long in my entire life, even after joining hair boards and gaining information. I am not one of the people who had long hair as a child. It was short and nappy. Currently, it is not even APL yet. I'm hovering around SL right now and I have been relaxer free for almost 3 years.

I try to protective style but they do not work well with me. Frequent bunning has left me with broken hair in the middle of my hair. When I wear braids/twists my hair matt's up in the braids.

Even with all the issues with my hair for some reason I cannot say anything about the black hair struggle because I'm not 4b or 4c. This pisses me off!

I keep getting comments about my hair(in real life) about the "grade" of my hair and I'm just so pissed off because it makes people think I must have an easy time managing and growing my hair.

/rant

Hey Napp

Sending hugs your way

Totally feel your pain Napp. You cannot control how people think. I would have probably said something not so nice to the lady. Especially if she seems to has something to say about your hair every time you see her.

Napp, this was me in 2007.

If I brush my hair out, I get the thick comments
If I wng, I get the wow I wish I could go natural but my hair doesnt look like yours.

My hair would thrive in protective styles but I hate it after awhile

The best thing I discovered was henna, amla, rhassoul and bentonite clay.

Ive learned over the years to not have conversations with folks about hair unless its online or friends who have an interest in products.

shawnyblazes said:

Napp, this was me in 2007. If I brush my hair out, I get the thick comments If I wng, I get the wow I wish I could go natural but my hair doesnt look like yours. My hair would thrive in protective styles but I hate it after awhile The best thing I discovered was henna, amla, rhassoul and bentonite clay. Ive learned over the years to not have conversations with folks about hair unless its online or friends who have an interest in products.

Click to expand...

Yes yes yes

This happens to me as well. I am not a type 3 but I have curls and can wash n go or my hair can look bushy.Today I saw a new salon called "Happy and Nappy" and my hubby and I walked in to check it out. They treated me like I wasn't even natural. They said this salon is for naturals and I said I am natural and she just said it didn't look natural. It was in a wng. But whatever, I guess this is similar to what type 3's go through except our hair can be perceived in many ways depending on how its styled and who is judging it. I don't let it get to me and neither should you.

Napp

I feel ya girlie, Many like to diminish ppls struggle with hair if they are anything less than a 4b/c. My hair was never longer than shoulder length until I was 17 or 18. Even now I have had numerous set backs over the years and at my longest was btw bsl/mbl. Too many ppl still think there are 2 types of hair using any of the following:
easy/hard
fine/coarse
soft/hard
good grade

^^^all these are codified terms for good/bad hair. I have friends via this forum that do this to be honest. Just keep doing what works for your hair and tweaking as needed. You have to in addition to having a reggie do certain things on a schedule like clockwork (trimming, deep conditioning, etc.). I also suggest getting a hair analysis from Komaza care as many have had great results with them and saved $$$ on buying unnecessary products that don't work.

People think the same about my hair. growth and retention im good with...but individual hair strand wise. Horrible. I had to cut about 7 inches off yet again due to bad split ends and single strand knots. It looks like a dog chewed my ends yet again. My hair hates being curly no matter what I do. The only solution is wearing my hair straight 90% of the time. Hate it but it is what it is. If my type 3ish hair was a breeze to care for I would not be on this hair board and Id have hair down to my behind (Ive been a member here long enough for it to be that long smh) Almost Everyone has individual probs with their hair no matter the hair type.

shawnyblazes said:

Napp, this was me in 2007.

If I brush my hair out, I get the thick comments
If I wng, I get the wow I wish I could go natural but my hair doesnt look like yours.

My hair would thrive in protective styles but I hate it after awhile

The best thing I discovered was henna, amla, rhassoul and bentonite clay.

Ive learned over the years to not have conversations with folks about hair unless its online or friends who have an interest in products.

Click to expand...

This! My hair/your hair/Black hair is not a topic that's open for discussion. Any comments or opinions I receive are treated with a disinterested "Hmm" or "Is that right." After that, I will either change the subject or allow a meaningful silence to ensue. OP, no one has the right to burden you with their unsolicited BS.

PJaye said:

This! My hair/your hair/Black hair is not a topic that's open for discussion. Any comments or opinions I receive are treated with a disinterested "Hmm" or "Is that right." After that, I will either change the subject or allow a meaningful silence to ensue. OP, no one has the right to burden you with their unsolicited BS.

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I'm like that as well. Which I feel a little sad about as well because I work with young black girls, high school age, and I see many of them have unhealthy hair practices. But they also have unhealthy hair thoughts and understandings, and I just know trying to educate them about it will lead nowhere. C'est la vie.

OP, you are not alone. People love to assume you have it easy, when they have no idea what you go through to achieve that look.

I have the same problem as BillsBackerz67. I'm really trying to love my curls, but it seems my curls don't love me back. Yes, my hair is long, but it is a true commitment for me to keep it that way. If people couldmsee the amount of product I go through, or how long my "wash and go" really takes.....they would think twice about the insensitive comment bout to roll of their tongue.

shawnyblazes said:

Napp, this was me in 2007.

If I brush my hair out, I get the thick comments
If I wng, I get the wow I wish I could go natural but my hair doesnt look like yours.

Click to expand...

Sounds just like my hair. I'm 4a, I think even some 4b. But the comments are just like these and whether they describe my hair as "thick" or "good," they love to add, "If I had hair like yours, I'd be natural too." My thoughts, "Ugh, ok then, bye!"

Yes I totally feel you op! A friend of mine is natural and has beautiful 4a/4b hair and she comments on my 'good hair' which she says in the 3's but I feel all hair is good if you take care of it...I think that thick 4b mane is everything because its just so versatile! And don't get me started on healthy relaxed hair! Love it! I just love hair!! Lol

Thanks every one! I just wanted to get that off my chest. I have to learn how to not let annoying coments of others to get me mad.

That woman has the School Daze mentality of good and bad hair. Seriously, some people will hate you because your hair! They have been fooled to think type 3 hair is "easy" to care for and it is the "best hair" to have. I'm sorry, but that kind of ignorance will never die.