Struggling with your natural hair? Come in here.....

LifeafterLHCF

New Member
Hair profile? IDK what my texture is I mean it looks a 4 mess..
Reggie and products? I wash biweekly and cowash the biweekly.I use different leave ins and I tend to stick to Ion conditioners. I try and do a good balance of protein and moisture.
I clarify once a month and use a moisturizing poo the other times. I try and moisturize daily with water and glycerin. I use to do aloe vera juice and glycerin but my hair just seemed to not like it.


How do you style your hair? Wigs are my style and I am going to try and do some crochet braids since I'm tired of not being cute at all times.

What problems do you have with your hair? I have been natural going 5 yrs and I am still at this length of idk like sl-apl. I mean I have spent alot of time on my hair and tried to baby it but it's like a lost cause. My edges are another thing. I don't know they are so thin.It's embarassing. I'm at a point where I think being natural is not for me anymore and I don't look good with it and will relax in late summer.
__________________
 

NappyNelle

Kinky Coily 4A, Fine Strands, WSL
Poohbear I can't wash in my twists either. I've done it, knowing full well that it would be a problem later on. :lol:

GoddessMaker Honeybun!!! Do you seal your braids under your wigs? Glycerin may not be your friend if it's not very humid in Texas. I don't know much about the Ion brand; it is meant to be for deeeep conditioning or is it an instant conditioner? If it is an instant conditioner, you need a more heavy duty product.

Are you babying your edges with castor oil or sulfur oil?

How often do you trim your ends? Do you scalp massage? How often do you restyle the braids underneath? (I'm trying to understand how you were stuck at the same length for so long.)
 

JudithO

Well-Known Member
GoddessMaker Seems like you have been tired of your hair a while now... It all depends.. Do you want to make it work? Do you like your texture? Styles with your hair? If you can't wear your hair out and it's causing u so much grief, why don't you just relax next weekend? Why wait till the summer? Sweetie, I've been there before... stressing over hair is not worth it.. Just do what makes you happy... On LHCF whether relaxed or natural, you can have a fab head of hair...
 

Nonie

Well-Known Member
@judy4all - no way hozay! :nono: I've tried that before and it was a big matted tangled mess! Worse than washing my hair loose. I don't have that silky type 2-3 loosely curled hair.

The next time I wash my hair, my plan is to unravel these twists when dry, applying conditioner, and then putting my hair into 4-8 big twists or braids before washing. I will leave my hair in these 4-8 big twists/braids during washing and deep conditioning, then unravel the big sections and retwist into smaller sections. ;)

Poohbear, how do you twist? If you just take two strands and wrap them around each other, that'd be like me braiding my hair without extensions: tangle/mat city is where I'd end up if I washed my hair in small braids w/o undoing them first.

But when I twist, because I twirl each section first befor wrapping it around the other, the hair in each strand not only stays somewhat stretched but it is also kept in check so that it doesn't tangle with hair in the other strand. I can wash my hair many times and when I'm ready to undo, the twists unravel with ease. My hair is slightly kinkier than yours Poohbear so being loose and silky isn't the secret to avoiding tangles when you wash twist. Twisting technique is the secret.
 

LifeafterLHCF

New Member
NappyNelle I seal in the evenings so my hair is out. I hate getting oil on my hands when Im getting out in the morning.

I use silk elements dc and ion. I think the ion is a instant though. The silk elements is a deep dc.

I trim ever so often. I may need to be on a more scheduled program with it though. I will trim when I see too much ssks.

I scalp massage on wash day only. I tried the castor on the edges and made my hair line bump a bit.

judy4all I want to make sure my hair is as healthy as possible. I am going to do braids to keep my hands out of my hair for a month or 2 then I will be relaxing by July as Texas will be a living heck 110 degree days.
 

Rocky91

NYE side boob.
Rocky91 Why are you so determined to find one brand?! :lol: Chuck the leave in and find another. It is too much work searching for a HG line where everything agrees with your hair IMO. (I don't mean this in a snarky way- but I learned that a HG line just isn't going to happen for me about 5 years ago)

Have you done a rinse before? What about colored clip ins? I would put my hair away so I could 'miss' it and hopefully the passion will return afterwards.

.
NappyNelle, just because it would make soooo happy to look in my bathroom and see all the bottles looking the same. :lol:
but you are right, it seems to be a losing battle for sure. le sigh.
I am planning to put my hair away in yarn twists or braids, as soon as the show I'm in is over.
thanks for the advice hun!
 

Nonie

Well-Known Member
GoddessMaker, may I ask why you use single ingredients? I know there are a lot of "mixologists" on the forum, and as long as I've been in the hair game, I've never felt inclined to become a chemist and make my own products or use single ingredients as my products. Why? Coz I figure there are scientists who spent years in labs figuring out what combo of ingredients give hair the best "conditioning" possible. They don't slap on the words "Hair Product" on glycerin and sell it. They combine it with other things that together create a product that works well. So why go for just that one ingredient. Aloe vera is a good ingredient for moisture, but on its own, it'd make my hair hard. Yet, I use GPB which has a lot of aloe in it and my hair feels like butter. Why? Because the aloe is combined with other products that create an elixir that my hair loves.

I know we sometimes see someone on Youtube doing these things and we assume that that is what it takes to have great hair. Use that one ingredient and voilà! What we forget is that just because one thing works for one, doesn't mean it will work for us.

Can you believe I got to know my hair when I stopped listening to other people? When I joined LHCF, I already had learned a regimen from Brenda (www.blackwomenrejoice.com) but the women on this forum with lovely hair had other ideas that I wasn't aware of and I started to copy them. My hair went downhill. :nono: I stopped all that and returned to my tried and true--which was basically like going back to the drawing table. And you know what, I have never had any problems with my hair. I don't watch Youtube vids unless someone here posts a link or someone tells me to. In other words, I don't look to others to teach me how to care for my hair. I pay attention to what my hair is telling me. I listen to the beat of my own drum and even if it makes others clutch pearls and gasp, I still do what I know my hair likes.

Many times when I read on the forum about people being frustrated with their hair, it's usually because they are looking to their hair to do something they have never seen it do. Why? Why not just let your hair show you what it can do? For one to be disappointed that his/her hair can't do something, it means you're looking at a head that isn't yours and assuming your hair is like that. It isn't. Your hair is like your hair alone. It cannot look like any other. I think what people need to do is read a book about hair science and understand hair in general. Pay no attention to the brand names of products being used but just understand how moisture, protein, sealing...all work together and then figure out what products give you the results science says you should have. Don't worry what tailbone chicks are doing. They are doing what their hair likes. Find out what YOUR hair likes.
 

Poohbear

Fearfully Wonderfully Made
Poohbear, how do you twist? If you just take two strands and wrap them around each other, that'd be like me braiding my hair without extensions: tangle/mat city is where I'd end up if I washed my hair in small braids w/o undoing them first.

But when I twist, because I twirl each section first befor wrapping it around the other, the hair in each strand not only stays somewhat stretched but it is also kept in check so that it doesn't tangle with hair in the other strand. I can wash my hair many times and when I'm ready to undo, the twists unravel with ease. My hair is slightly kinkier than yours Poohbear so being loose and silky isn't the secret to avoiding tangles when you wash twist. Twisting technique is the secret.

Nonie - yes, that is how I twist. I just take two sections of hair and twist them around each other. I do not twirl (like I would a bantu knot) each section before twisting. I can definitely see how twirling first would help if I were to wash my hair in twists. Twirling would make the twists smoother and the hair strands more in tact. And maybe this technique may help with the frizz I get. Thanks for the suggestion. ;)
 

LifeafterLHCF

New Member
Nonie I have stopped listening to folks here along time ago actually. My hair I think is just jacked. It does what it wants and I just have to make due. The only frustrating thing is the growth. I expected by now for something that looked decent in length but I don't know maybe since I have never had long hair it's not meant to be. Maybe the right elements haven't aligned. I think now that I want to be on point all over Im looking at it and smh..but yea I'm trying to keep from shaving it and be done but that might not be a bad thing since its getting hot..
 

Nonie

Well-Known Member
@Nonie I have stopped listening to folks here along time ago actually. My hair I think is just jacked. It does what it wants and I just have to make due. The only frustrating thing is the growth. I expected by now for something that looked decent in length but I don't know maybe since I have never had long hair it's not meant to be. Maybe the right elements haven't aligned. I think now that I want to be on point all over Im looking at it and smh..but yea I'm trying to keep from shaving it and be done but that might not be a bad thing since its getting hot..

GoddessMaker, why do you say the bold? I'm not sure what you mean by your hair being just jacked. I think your lack of seeing retention is either due to damaged ends that keep breaking or if you don't practice low mani, then just breakage from too much manipulation. I think for some of us, we have to choose either to PS religiously or to practice low manipulation or both...if we hope to have any retention. You may be one of us.
 

LifeafterLHCF

New Member
Nonie it's just not cute at all. It's a bother honestly.I think since I have been natural it's been more prononunced than before. I don't like it but I don't hate or anything either. I'm indifferent on it. I don't do much too it for it to be too much mani and I don't do enough for the damaged ends either..idk my hair only somewhat grew when I was living with a guy way back when and wasn't stressed now that isn't the case..
 

Eisani

Well-Known Member
NappyNelle I've tried twists on wet and dry hair which is some mess because I do my twistouts on damp hair *duh* should've known better. The looser section of my hair is in the front. Great idea to try flat twists! I'm excited to try it. Thank you!
 

LoveisYou

Well-Known Member
I like stretched styles so sometimes I blow dry my hair before twisting. I always use a leave in and a moisturizer before blow drying yet my hair feels extremely dry afterwards, any suggestions to combat this?

My hair typically feels moisturized if I don't blow dry.
 
Last edited:

Nonie

Well-Known Member
LoveisYou, have you tried to stretch with braids? If I braid my hair damp w/o products, I can get it pretty stretched...at which point (if I liked products) I can apply before twisting. I don't, however. I love my twists w/o anything on them.

I think it's over 20 years since I blow dried my hair so I don't know how to avoid blowDRYING from DRYING your hair. :giggle: I always have soft hair if I DC well before I flat iron my hair with nothing but a heat-protectant. I don't know if that'd work with blowdrying, but it's worth a try.

If you think about it, heat dries things up. So you apply some water-based product on your hair then apply heat. What does it do? Evaporate the water in the product and leave you hair dry.

But really, a lot of people find giving up heat does their hair a lot of good, so if I were you, I'd try banding or braiding to stretch and skip the heat.
 

JulietWhiskey

Darkside of the moon
I find that detangling under the water flow from the shower head really helps with detangling...it's just that I need to do it in sections if I want to reduce matting and tangles.

I'm also thinking about just keeping my hair in braided sections throughout the whole wash and condition process, and then do the detangling on one section at a time before I style my hair in twists.

Back in February, I got a trim that got rid of most of the splits. My ends are still holding up pretty well right now. I just hope I can stick with protective styling in order to achieve waist length hair.

As for conditioners, the Lustrasilk cholesterol is almost gone and I've been trying to use up the Mane N Tail and Suave. Do you have any suggestions for a good moisturizing deep conditioner that is not too expensive? The best moisturizing conditioner my hair has experienced so far was the DevaCurl Heaven In Hair Intense Moisture Treatment. The stylist that trimmed my hair used this on my hair and my hair was super moisturized afterwards. But this conditioner is just too expensive.

Poohbear:
I am SPRUNG off two Doo Gro conditoners: DOO GRO® Mega Long Extreme Reconstructor (has silk protein plus many other yummy ingredients) and their DOO GRO® MEGA THICK®Intense Repair Treatment (I use this every 6 weeks when I want/need a shot of keratin for strength). Both are very reasonably priced and can be found at local BSS. I also love the Hollywood Beauty Carrot Oil Cholesterol Creme. I combine this with the DG Mega Long Extreme Reconstructor for a wonderful weekly DC!
 

momi

Well-Known Member
NappyNelle - I purchased eco styler last night and tried it on a small section but was scared to use it for my entire head.


judy4all

Thanks for your reply to my question... today was a decent day because I used the Miss Jessies curly something or another - I just want to keep way from the mineral oils.

Anyone know if KBB has a product I can use for "hold"?
 

kinkycurlygurl

Well-Known Member
This is exactly the thread I need!

Hair profile? 4A

Reggie and products? co-wash every 3 or so days , Currently using the Aubrey line HSR and GBP (?) protein for DC followed by HSR conditioner for moisture

How do you style your hair? Pretty much wash and go and re-twist at night

What problems do you have with your hair?

When wet my hair is moist, has great curl def, no tangles or anything because I've recently gone through a major cut. HOWEVER, after it dries have mercy, it looks like a dry brillo pad. I usually co-wash, add knot today, and twist with shea butter or bee mine bee curly. It looks great when I leave the house but a few hours later it is dry and definition is GONE.

Help!
Have you tried letting your hair dry in braids? Doing that will stretch your hair out. Your hair sounds like mine. I have really tight curls and as soon as my hair starts to dry it curls up to less than half it's length.

You can also try sealing your wet hair with tiny drops of your favorite oil.
 

LoveisYou

Well-Known Member
LoveisYou, have you tried to stretch with braids? If I braid my hair damp w/o products, I can get it pretty stretched...at which point (if I liked products) I can apply before twisting. I don't, however. I love my twists w/o anything on them.

I think it's over 20 years since I blow dried my hair so I don't know how to avoid blowDRYING from DRYING your hair. :giggle: I always have soft hair if I DC well before I flat iron my hair with nothing but a heat-protectant. I don't know if that'd work with blowdrying, but it's worth a try.

If you think about it, heat dries things up. So you apply some water-based product on your hair then apply heat. What does it do? Evaporate the water in the product and leave you hair dry.

But really, a lot of people find giving up heat does their hair a lot of good, so if I were you, I'd try banding or braiding to stretch and skip the heat.

Thanks, I'll try this method
 

Nonie

Well-Known Member
NappyNelle, can you recommend the products you use to stretch your hair in braids? Coz most "moisturizing" products that I've found to soften my hair are water-based so I find they don't get my hair as stretched out as it usually is when I braid w/o products. The only thing I remember giving that effect was grease or Shea butter. And I don't use either on my hair as balm. I haven't used grease in ages, but Shea butter makes my hair hard so it's not one of the things I'd recommend if I were the one giving suggestions.
 

JudithO

Well-Known Member
momi .. never used anything from kbb so i dont know... r u open to other brands?

Empressi do you know any product from kbb that will give a very soft hold after it dries without being hard or crunchy?
 

AlwaysNatural

Well-Known Member
I like stretched styles so sometimes I blow dry my hair before twisting. I always use a leave in and a moisturizer before blow drying yet my hair feels extremely dry afterwards, any suggestions to combat this?

My hair typically feels moisturized if I don't blow dry.

A cool trick I learned, I will share with you. While in the shower after conditioning your hair, rinse it out.

Let your hair get a little wet, not soaking and reapply conditioner again. Detangle and smooth your dc on mixed with oil. I used vegetable oil and olive oil mixed in Aubrey Organics Honey Suckle Rose Moisturizing conditioner DC.

Put water on your hand, then the DC and smooth it on a section of hair and then braid that section.

Braid or twist your hair into 8. Make sure you put a lot of DC on your edges and nape.

Even though I own a steamer I put a shower cap on after then wrap my hair with a small hair towel and leave it for 45 mins and I wouldn't doubt longer would be even better results I just don't always have the patience.

I keep my hair in the braids and rinse under running water thoroughly.

Unbraid, blot hair and apply your leave in and then a light amount of serum to each braided section as I unravel and blow dry that section clipping up and away the others.

Takes like maybe 15-20 mins, hair is sleek and moisturized and isn't dried out.

Basically just coat your conditioner over with a DC mixed with oil before you blowdry your hair..
 
Last edited:

NappyNelle

Kinky Coily 4A, Fine Strands, WSL
Nonie My hair is the same; I can't use pure shea butter or my hair will be greasy and hard. The products that work for me are:

Qhemet Amla & Olive Heavy Cream (oil based)
Qhemet Burdock Root Butter cream (water based - I don't use this anymore)
Oyin Whipped Pudding (water based - I don't use this much anymore)

I would use these on damp hair to seal the moisture from my conditioner in. My braids always turn out fluffy, moisturized, soft and sheeny. KBB Hair Nectar (water-based) and Oyin's Hair Dew (oil based) were nice, but probably better suited for looser naturals.
 

NappyNelle

Kinky Coily 4A, Fine Strands, WSL
I have another? Lol! How often should hair be trimmed? And is there a such thing as perfect ends?

sherrimberri I don't think one's ends will ever be perfect, but you can get as close as possible to perfect. My hair likes scheduled trimming every 3-4 months. I believe Nonie trims a tiny amount every 2 months.
 

Arian

Loc'ing Up!
Hair profile? 3c/4a/b thick, thick strands

Reggie and products? *sigh* It changes often. Right now, I shampoo weekly with Keracare Hydrating Detangling poo. DC with either AO GPB or any other AO conditioner. Style with Qhemet AOHC and twist.

How do you style your hair? Twistouts or wash and goes

What problems do you have with your hair? Dryness! No matter what I do my hair feels fine when it's wet and at first when applying product, but dries hard and crunchy. No matter the leave in...ugh! I'm currently experimenting with leave ins right now. Right now, I'm on It's a 10...let's hope it really is a miracle leave in...

Single strand knots are my enemy and for some reason, lately I have been experiencing massive shedding and tangling... but I bought some Alter Ego to help remedy this problem. I heard it helps with shedding and provide lots of slip.
 

Nonie

Well-Known Member
I have another? Lol! How often should hair be trimmed? And is there a such thing as perfect ends?

@sherrimberri I don't think one's ends will ever be perfect, but you can get as close as possible to perfect. My hair likes scheduled trimming every 3-4 months. I believe Nonie trims a tiny amount every 2 months.

@sherrimberri, I agree with @NappyNelle, that there's no such thing as perfect ends, but if you dust them before splits become visible, you can give an appearance of having perfect ends. The tinier the splits are (not visible to the naked eyes) the less problems your ends will pose: You won't get knots (SSKs), or matting and your ends will just look nice and full. And if you do small twists or braids, they will seem to have the same fullness from base to ends. Also the sooner you dust your ends, the less you have to take off. It's like you catch the splits just at their beginnings so you can afford to take off very little. People with coarse strands can probably go longer w/o dusting and still have good retention. Finer strands are more susceptible to damage and breakage so sooner rather than later is better IMO. The thing to remember is if you wait too long and splits get too big, and then you only snip off a tiny amount, you leave behind the damage that continues to travel up the strand and therefore breakage continues.
 

NappyNelle

Kinky Coily 4A, Fine Strands, WSL
Arian it sounds like you need more moisture. Which AO conditioner are you using? Perhps you don't need GPB as often as you're using it.

ETA: How do you 'do' your WnG and what products are you using?
 
Last edited:
Top