i did something EXTREMELY stupid., help needed!!

beana3

Active Member
okay i've ben trying to wait my relaxer out until november 20, but its just not working. I have almost 2 inches of matted, kinky, new growth!!!!! Last night i was in the mirror, and when examining my hair i said i just have to relax it soon. It broke off pretty bad and i think i just made matters worse. THE STUPID THING I DID WAS: I combed my new growth out (my reasoning was to make the roots easier to part and ease my relaxer application) and i know better.. i do.
My hair is soo broken off in the back, i mean its bad, I can grab the whole section and have maybe 20 hairs that survived the damage. its very stringy obviously and it looks horrible, there's no way i can wear my hair out with this choppy section. I think i just weakened the bonds between my natural hair and relaxed hair back there and i'm wary about applying a relaxer, i think it will break it off further. But on the flip side i KNOW there is no way to maintain the rest of the hairs on my head if i dont' relax soon.
I wanted to do a protein treatment before my relaxer to strengthen, but i dont think my hair can stand to go another day without a relaxer. I'm just worried. I feel very bad.

BTW the damaged section is improving, but the stringy ends make it look bbadddd, i was gonna put a track in the back of my hair to let that part rest, maybe that's an option. I'm about to throw in the towel for a few months and just get this hair weaved up completely.
 

hairfanatic

New Member
Hi Beana3,

Please don't feel bad. /images/graemlins/frown.gif We have all done things to our hair and had to regroup. Maybe you should get it evened out all the way around once you get your touch up and start to grow healthy hair again. Or, maybe you can just grow it out by pressing with a curling iron or flat iron to keep from damaging it further with another chemical. There are many things you can do. I wouldn't suggest the protein conditioner because of the way it is breaking off. I suggest the LeKair Cholesteral Conditioner $2.34 at Walmart. This stuff is amazing. The comb glided through my hair and I'm all natural and it helped with moisture which is probably what your hair needs.
 

henrilou

New Member
Beana. You are where I have been. Me, I just cried and cried and got angry and pulled more hair out. Well.
1. Good idea to weave the head completely. At this point I think, it's give your mind/heart a rest not to have to deal with it. (I weaved for three years straight )
2. DO NOT ADD just one or two tracks. I don't know why, but this breaks hair. I did this before I weaved completely and it totally broke my back off. Maybe the synthetic mixing with the real hair... But this is not a good idea. Either a whole weave or nothing. Really, take my word for it.
 

sassygirl125

Professional PJ
I feel ya'. I am going through a similar experience. Only it is my crown area that is much shorter than the rest of my hair. Run--don't walk and get some ApHogee Treatment for Damaged Hair--the stinky one that makes your hair as hard as a rock. This stuff probably saved the hair I had left on my head. As far as styling the hair, I alternate between braids and a fake afro puff. I'm not familiar with hair weaves, but how would you take care of your own hair underneath? And wouldn't the breakage caused by the thread and glue, etc. just worsen the condition of your hair? Weaves are expensive, too...
 

Honey Vibe

The Good Physician
Problem #1: matted natural hair
Actually, your hair isn't matted to your head at all. I cut my relaxed hair off with only one -- count'em ONE -- month of natural growth. It looked fine, with no bald spots. Just an adorable lil' TWA. It's just very difficult to tell when you have relaxed hair on top of it.

Problem #2: breakage
If you don't cut off the relaxed hair, sometimes your hair will force your hand. When the hair begins snapping off at the point where the hair is chemically treated, understand that the best thing for you to do (if you don't want to cut the relaxed hair off yet) is to just leave the natural hair alone. Don't try to part it, don't try to comb it; let it do what it wants. In the mean time, care for your relaxed hair as usual while the natural hair grows in.
 

beana3

Active Member
henrilou your hair is beautiful!!! very long and healhy. mine is about the same length as yours was a year ago, just not as healhy as yours was. i know you posted your hair care regime when in a weave, you really have me encouraged. I think i'll take your advice and get a full weave, my hair is already time consuming as it is, this might help me in more ways than just hair care.


hairfanatic: thanks for posting the "options" i have, i really needed to know tis wasn't the end of my hair career, lol
 

NYCchild

New Member
Re: i did something EXTREMELY stupid., help needed

I agree with henrilou on the full head weave that way ya dont manipulate it too much. (remember to treat the hair under neath tho!) that has been my way in the past esp when i get to 6 or 8 weeks and dont want to relax yet. if i had known then what i know now my hair would be in much better shape im all for the weave its helped me alot and i plan to go with that for a year with two weeks break inbetween having it 2 to 3months at a time. /images/graemlins/smirk.gif

also i see alot of comments hair that its expensive - boy! i pay between 85 to 100$ for a full head. NEVER more!

be blessed

Terri
 

beana3

Active Member
Re: i did something EXTREMELY stupid., help needed

NYC child: where are you??? $85-$100 for a full head sounds great. Are these weaves detectable (... i dont't want my boyfriend to know i have one, lol) How good is the texture match???,I don't have the silkiest hair ya know?? Any further information you can offer would be greatly appreciated. Also, can you describe your regime when you wear a weave and what things you've learned to help protect and improve your hair???
 
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HoneyRockette

Guest
Re: i did something EXTREMELY stupid., help needed

Beana, there is a place in NJ that does undetectable weave for $100. My friend got one and I was actually able to run my fingers through her hair. It is really flat. They use a microcornrow base which sounds bad but her hair wasn't damaged at all after she removed it. You just have to make sure they remove it. She left it in for three months with no problems. I'd say a good example of how her weave looked would be Tweet's hair.
 
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legs71

Guest
Re: i did something EXTREMELY stupid., help needed

HoneyRockette,

Would you be able to give me the name and phone number of the salon your friend went to have her weave done? I live in Rockland County, but I am about 20 minutes from Northern NJ. Thanks in advance!
 

beana3

Active Member
Re: i did something EXTREMELY stupid., help needed

definetly, that sounds great... now if i could only get a $100 together /images/graemlins/crazy.gif
 

skegeesmb

New Member
Re: i did something EXTREMELY stupid., help needed

beana3,

I would look into the weave option to give your hair a rest. And I would probably grow the relaxer you currently have out using the weave. Now I'm not saying go natural, but it seems to me that your hair is too straight where it's relaxed which is causing the hair loss. It may take a while, but grow the too straight relaxer out, and if you put in another relaxer again try not to have it so straight so that you can go longer without a retouch and not have so much breakage. When I went natural my hair was relaxed and after a certain point my natural hair trumped my relaxed hair and my hair was coming out in the comb. Since I'm not a weave person I just cut my hair into a cute cut and decided to grow it out. I have no plans to relax anytime soon because I find that my hair isn't as difficult to take care of as a previously thought.

But whatever you do good luck, and don't worry about your hair in it's state now, because your new growth is insurance that your hair is growing, and it will be back to its length in now time.
 

beana3

Active Member
Re: i did something EXTREMELY stupid., help needed

thanks skegeesmb.. I am contemplatung going natural. MY hair in its 7 years of being relaxed never quite acted right. My new growth is much softer now because of the vits and every time my hair is wet i love the way some sections of it curl (kinda like a 3b). Your pic looks very nice BTW, i like the style.
The weird thing is i know my hair doens't react well to the chemicals, and yet i still insist upon relaxing it.
 
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