Saved and Sexy?

neenzmj · Mar 17, 2009

Can the two go together? In my opinion? Absolutely but not in the way our society portrays it. DH and I frequently have a discussion about this, especially those times when he tells me how sexy I am but I think I’m looking a hot mess. So, I ask him “what does sexy mean to you?” His answer: It’s the woman’s overall way of carrying herself – her confidence, her body language, a slight “strut” in her walk (like a stallion) – shoulders back, head held high – her attitude, her mannerisms. So, if this is true, a woman can be “sexy” in anything from an evening gown to a sweatsuit.

I suspect much of this comes from knowing who you are and WHOSE you are. I shudder to think of all the many times I went prancing into the club with my short, tight dresses. Back then it was my opinion that it was pointless to wear a dress that didn’t come close to cutting off my circulation! I thought the more I showed and the more gawks I got from men, the sexier I was. I think all I really did was show off was my insecurity and need for attention. It wasn’t until I really learned to love myself that the light bulb went on.

So now that I have two daughters and I’ve really tried to teach them that being sexy does not mean having their boobs oozing over their shirts or their behinds hanging out of a pair of shorts. It is my hope that it doesn’t take them the majority of their lives to realize they are beautiful not because of what they reveal on the outside, but because of who God has made them on the inside.

Saved and sexy? What do you ladies think?

BeautifulFlower · Mar 17, 2009

Think about this often. :look:

I love the Lord. He is my number one focus and all I do, I want his approval.

Yet, I like to be sexy. In dress (no showing my goods but Im 23 so classy/trendy/fashionable), in style, in walk, in words, everything. I proud myself on embracing my femininity and Im not afraid to express confidence in what I do.

Thing is, I think...Am I being humble? Does humble mean I cant be sexy or show confidence? Is it ok to wear tight jeans and sexy shoes (my chest stays covered)? How much skin is too much skin? On and On...Ive become very self-conscious about this stuff.

And I have some dresses I know I can never wear again :nono:

I know alot of you may disagree with this but I pole dance. Yes, I said it. In a studio, women only. I hate going to the gym where men are consistently in your face. I love it. You get a hard workout and you feel super sexy. :look:

Unless your my husband, NO ONE will ever see me do my tricks. Its so feminine and freeing and graceful. You guys probably like you know you wrong....

neenzmj said:
Can the two go together? In my opinion? Absolutely but not in the way our society portrays it. DH and I frequently have a discussion about this, especially those times when he tells me how sexy I am but I think I’m looking a hot mess. So, I ask him “what does sexy mean to you?” His answer: It’s the woman’s overall way of carrying herself – her confidence, her body language, a slight “strut” in her walk (like a stallion) – shoulders back, head held high – her attitude, her mannerisms. So, if this is true, a woman can be “sexy” in anything from an evening gown to a sweatsuit.

I suspect much of this comes from knowing who you are and WHOSE you are. I shudder to think of all the many times I went prancing into the club with my short, tight dresses. Back then it was my opinion that it was pointless to wear a dress that didn’t come close to cutting off my circulation! I thought the more I showed and the more gawks I got from men, the sexier I was. I think all I really did was show off was my insecurity and need for attention. It wasn’t until I really learned to love myself that the light bulb went on.

So now that I have two daughters and I’ve really tried to teach them that being sexy does not mean having their boobs oozing over their shirts or their behinds hanging out of a pair of shorts. It is my hope that it doesn’t take them the majority of their lives to realize they are beautiful not because of what they reveal on the outside, but because of who God has made them on the inside.

Saved and sexy? What do you ladies think?

hopeful · Mar 17, 2009

prettyfaceANB said:
You guys probably like you know you wrong....

...........

Browndilocks · Mar 17, 2009

You don't have to look like you work the pole every night, but I do believe in dressing sexy. I have a nice body. I like to wear things that show off my curves. As long as its done in good taste, I dont see anything wrong with it and it certainly doesn't diminish who I am as a christian.

A lot of those "sanctified" ways of dressing is just plain ugly.

TrustMeLove · Mar 17, 2009

I saw the youtube videos of a woman doing a poll dance. She was pretty covered. Except she had the standard hooker shoes on. But, I figured that mighthelp with the poll dancing.

She was doing all types of splits and twirls. It looks fun. :yep:

I wish I could hang upside down, twirl around..like new dance moves... I don't really see what turns people on about it...

erplexed

It was like doing gymnastics. The balance beam..or a floor routine. I don't see anything wrong with that...and the only reason most people don't because it is a "national sport". But, you know perverts look at those lil girls too. :wallbash:

I don't know if Saved and Sexy go together in PUBLIC. I think it can go together for your husband. But, I don't want to look saved and sexy. I don't want anything coming off of me as a single woman that says "sexy". Mainly, because I don't want to attract any energy that goes with "sexy". I want to attract the energy that goes with "saved" though. hahaha.

I know that when I get dressed...put together a awesome shoe and hand bag combo or a 1960's dress...I want to look Saved and Stylish. Saved and Sophisticated. Saved and Fierce..ya know..

There are other words out there that can easily describe..what I want to feel when I'm out and about.

Sessy is fo da house!

MA2010 · Mar 17, 2009

Great question OP! This is from Christian Singlez.com. This pretty much sums it up for me. This person put into words what I could not....lol.

"With the popularity of low riders, belly shirts, navel piercings and other such fashion trends, we have to ask ourselves: Can Christians Be Sexy?

First, we have to consider what 'sexy' is and the implications of being considered 'sexy' in today's world. The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language defines it as follows:

sex·y
adj. sex·i·er, sex·i·est

*Arousing or tending to arouse sexual desire or interest.
*Slang. Highly appealing or interesting; attractive: “The recruiting brochures are getting sexier” (Jack R. Wentworth).

Arousing or tending to arouse sexual desire - hmm, is this how we want to present ourselves? Maybe not. (And ladies, I apologize - but most of this posting will be for you. I know there is a double standard for men and women, but after we acknowledge that fact, we just have to figure out a way to deal with it.)

Here's the thing - so many sins can be traced back to the sexual - fornication, adultery, some forms of covetousness, lust - not to mention the potential addictive and destructive nature of sex. So do we want to dress or act in a way that appeals solely to the sexual desires of the members of the opposite sex? If only to help out our Christian brothers, I'd have to say - probably not.

I know it's tempting to want to be fashionable - as a recent news report revealed, it's harder to find shirts of normal length sometimes than belly shirts. And, yes, while you might be able to wear it, the question is not can you, but should you.

The Bible admonishes that women "…..adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefastness and sobriety; not with braided hair, and gold or pearls or costly raiment; but (which becometh women professing godliness) through good works. 1 Titus 2:9-10)" Clearly the emphasis here is for a women to be more modest than flashy and to 'display' her value through the good works with which she occupies herself. In other words, that it's not necessarily about what's on the outside, but what's on the inside.
I like my low riders as well as the next person, but I also realize that, as a Christian, I have to be a model for what is appropriate as a follower of Christ. And that is your duty as well - to model being a Christian - particularly for non-Christians. In this respect, you are a leader - however you dress, whatever you say and whatever you do will be interpreted in light of your professed Christianity. Fair? No. Realistic? Yes.

So - think about it the next time you pull out that color-coordinated, hot outfit that you plan to wear on that next outing with your girlfriends. Get dressed and take a good long look in the mirror. And think to yourself - what are my clothes saying about me? What will people think when they see me? Is this how I see myself?

The choice is up to you, but I humbly suggest that you seriously consider the above questions and make the best decision possible about what you are about to wear. And that's all any of us can do…."

Again, this was from http://christiansinglez.wordpress.com/2006/05/09/can-christians-be-sexy/ and not my own words but I agree with it. :grin:

Browndilocks · Mar 17, 2009

A nice pencil skirt with a slammin pair of pumps = SEXY

A long shapeless skirt that looks like you've been wrapped in a tarp = UGLY

A mini skirt that can barely cover your butt cheeks = POLE DANCER

Healthy pretty hair swangin in the wind = SEXY

Homely wet dried bun with no filler or accessories = UGLY

Multicolor mohawk with fingerwaves on the side = POLE DANCER

Perfectly fitted white collar shirt, unbuttoned showing necklace & tapered at the waist = SEXY

White bandit shirt buttoned all the way up with a doilied collar = UGLY

Lace overlay covering the white lace bra = POLE DANCER

BeautifulFlower · Mar 17, 2009

TrustMeLove said:
I saw the youtube videos of a woman doing a poll dance. She was pretty covered. Except she had the standard hooker shoes on. But, I figured that mighthelp with the poll dancing.

She was doing all types of splits and twirls. It looks fun. I wish I could hang upside down, twirl around..like new dance moves... I don't really see what turns people on about it...erplexed

It was like doing gymnastics. The balance beam..or a floor routine. I don't see anything wrong with that...and the only reason most people don't because it is a "national sport". But, you know perverts look at those lil girls too.

It actually requires ALOT of athletism to do. Its hard but with practice, you get better and better and then you get addiction. I wear regular workout clothes there but its only chicks so its very comfortable. LOL and yes the shoes are standard and they make certain move easier to do. Without shoes, quite awkward. Its alot of fun. But if your like a republican, conservative type person, it will be difficult to do. You can to be able to let go and trust that you wont let yourself hurt youself.

momi · Mar 17, 2009

My question is - why would a Christian woman want to be referred to as Sexy?

That is such a worldy term. We are called to be Holy.

When the thought crosses my mind (which I freely admit it does)... I ask myself where the thought came from? Am I seeking the approval of this world? Why - when the world hates my Father. I have to check myself often to make sure I am walking in step with The Lord.... I have much more to say but I must see to dinner.

momi · Mar 17, 2009

prettyfaceANB said:
It actually requires ALOT of athletism to do. Its hard but with practice, you get better and better and then you get addiction. I wear regular workout clothes there but its only chicks so its very comfortable. LOL and yes the shoes are standard and they make certain move easier to do. Without shoes, quite awkward. Its alot of fun. But if your like a republican, conservative type person, it will be difficult to do. You can to be able to let go and trust that you wont let yourself hurt youself.

LOL this is funny! A republican! :drunk:

I am ultra-conservative and far from a democrat, but TRUST I can hold my own where I need to (in the privacy of my bedroom within the sanctity of marriage) :yep:

BeautifulFlower · Mar 17, 2009

Manushka said:
Get dressed and take a good long look in the mirror. And think to yourself - what are my clothes saying about me? What will people think when they see me? Is this how I see myself?

I think this is what I do. If there cleavage, too much leg, my navel showing, I change.

Is there a difference between looking sexy and feeling sexy?

I dont appreciate being called sexy because, in my opinion, i've heard men call the most trifling women sexy and its like...she's sexy because she has no standards.

I'd want my husband to think I've sexy because I've rather him want to have sex with me only...ya know? hahaha

Too me its not about being sexually appealing rather being feminine and graceful...like at the Virtuous Woman in Proverbs.

neenzmj · Mar 17, 2009

I used the word "sexy" for lack of a better word. What I hoped would come out of my original post was the fact that being "sexy" (or whatever adjective you use) isn't about the type of dress at all -- it's an attitude, a confidence a woman exudes.

hopeful · Mar 17, 2009

This is a good thread. I honestly have never thought about this before. I am enjoying the responses.

Ms.Honey · Mar 17, 2009

Why would we need to take an activity that is known as whoreish, sleazy and darkness and incorporate it in our lives? Why would we make ANY affiliation with ungodliness and think it's ok? How is pole dancing glorifying God in your lives. Why do what hoes do? And how can you do it and expect God and man to see you as virtuous, holy women of God? Join Curves to exercise, all women.

I don't want my DH to be reminded of whores, strippers and prostitutes when we're being intimate or at any other time. I want him to always be aware that I am the glory of God, that God has allowed him to share His glory with him and to ALWAYS treat me and see me as such when he looks at me.

neenzmj · Mar 17, 2009

When my husband refers to my as "sexy", I take it as a huge compliment because I know what he really means is that he enjoys looking at the way I carry myself.

My "sexiness" is for him -- and only him.

momi said:
My question is - why would a Christian woman want to be referred to as Sexy?

That is such a worldy term. We are called to be Holy.

When the thought crosses my mind (which I freely admit it does)... I ask myself where the thought came from? Am I seeking the approval of this world? Why - when the world hates my Father. I have to check myself often to make sure I am walking in step with The Lord.... I have much more to say but I must see to dinner.

MA2010 · Mar 17, 2009

prettyfaceANB said:
I think this is what I do. If there cleavage, too much leg, my navel showing, I change.

You and I both. If I don't check myself and what I have on I tend to grow very uncomfortable.

I'm learing to do all for Christ and not myself.

I already don't feel comfortable anymore in my skinny jeans, especially when I wear heels. I realize most dresses I own are too tight and too short. My "so fly" heels are looking suspect everyday...lol. I feel I have to do a complete wardrobe evaluation to assure I'm not a hinderance (sp) to any other.

God is making changes in me so that I don't worry to much anymore in "being sexy" and "looking cute". A lot of it is pure conceit and pride (neither are HOLY) for me.

What other man am I trying to impress but GOD and DH anyways???

I need to fall on my knees and ask that the Lord breaks me and molds me anew when it comes to my conceit, pride, and "sexiness"!

Ramya · Mar 17, 2009

People tell me that I'm sexy but I take it to mean "womanly, soft and feminine" which is the look that i'm going for. I like to feel feminine and demure. I never wore overly trashy things to begin with but I wore things that now I can't imagine wearing again. I've found that I'm becoming more and more modest. No I'm not in ankle length sack dresses but I don't like clingy materials and low cut blouses anymore. I've really noticed a change in the way people address me. Sexy for me is an attitude not a means to seduce anyone.

BeautifulFlower · Mar 17, 2009

Yeah, thats what I was asking my question for from the ladies. I can feel sexy and not necessarily "look" sexy. But I understand how the ladies would put them together because when you dress up, you'll often feel better about yourself.

And being sexual isnt necessarily a bad thing because God made us sexual being as well. Its natural but in self-control and should only be expressed in marriage of course.

neenzmj said:
I used the word "sexy" for lack of a better word. What I hoped would come out of my original post was the fact that being "sexy" (or whatever adjective you use) isn't about the type of dress at all -- it's an attitude, a confidence a woman exudes.

BeautifulFlower · Mar 17, 2009

Contrary to popular belief, pole dance did not originate in the strip clubs. It has been perverted as many things in our society have been perverted. Circus' have pole dancer, are they whores?

I acknowledge your points and will seriously consider what you're said.

Ms.Honey said:
Why would we need to take an activity that is known as whoreish, sleazy and darkness and incorporate it in our lives? Why would we make ANY affiliation with ungodliness and think it's ok? How is pole dancing glorifying God in your lives. Why do what hoes do? And how can you do it and expect God and man to see you as virtuous, holy women of God? Join Curves to exercise, all women.

I don't want my DH to be reminded of whores, strippers and prostitutes when we're being intimate or at any other time. I want him to always be aware that I am the glory of God, that God has allowed him to share His glory with him and to ALWAYS treat me and see me as such when he looks at me.

Ms.Honey · Mar 17, 2009

prettyfaceANB said:
Contrary to popular belief, pole dance did not originate in the strip clubs. It has been perverted as many things in our society have been perverted. Circus' have pole dancer, are they whores?

I acknowledge your points and will seriously consider what you're said.

Where it originated and what it's associated with are totally different things.

Pole dancing is for strippers. Pole dancing classes are to train women to dance like strippers. Are you practicing to circus music learning circus routines or are you practicing to stipper/club music learning stripper routines?

firecracker · Mar 17, 2009

I agree with your man. Sexy is an Aura. You can be in a turtleneck and long skirt all the while being sexy but you can't tell a load of women today that. Some women dress to get attention from men instead of dressing nice to look nice in what fits their body type.

BeautifulFlower · Mar 17, 2009

I disagree. They dont train you to be strippers. Thats the biggest misconception of the sport. They teach you to build your strength to do the hard stuff. And whats stripper music?

So...according to your theory...since marijuana is associated with drug dealers, poverty, and godlessness, if you needed it for medicinal purposes, would you not take it?

Often times association with something is based on pop culture. And just because pop culture says its for this does not devoid its original purpose. Thats like saying sex is ok anytime, anywhere but we all know thats not its original purpose.

I'm not here to defend what I do nor to change your mind. I'll consider your viewpoint.

Ms.Honey said:
Where it originated and what it's associated with are totally different things.

Pole dancing is for strippers. Pole dancing classes are to train women to dance like strippers. Are you practicing to circus music learning circus routines or are you practicing to stipper/club music learning stripper routines?

Ramya · Mar 17, 2009

Yall just gave me inspiration for my column :lol:

. Lots of food for thought here

firecracker · Mar 17, 2009

prettyfaceANB said:
I disagree. They dont train you to be strippers. Thats the biggest misconception of the sport. They teach you to build your strength to do the hard stuff. And whats stripper music?

So...according to your theory...since marijuana is associated with drug dealers, poverty, and godlessness, if you needed it for medicinal purposes, would you not take it?

Often times association with something is based on pop culture. And just because pop culture says its for this does not devoid its original purpose. Thats like saying sex is ok anytime, anywhere but we all know thats not its original purpose.

I'm not here to defend what I do nor to change your mind. I'll consider your viewpoint.

You should ask me the marijuana question. :lachen:

BeautifulFlower · Mar 17, 2009

Women I belive extude sexy without being slutty.

Michelle Obama & Kim K - my style is a combination of the two

Im sure Barack things she's super sexy but her clothing is modest and fashionable. She's my style icon.

Kim K has all the assets to go with the package but I rarely see cleaveage. Booty is hard to hide.

TrustMeLove · Mar 17, 2009

prettyfaceANB said:
It actually requires ALOT of athletism to do. Its hard but with practice, you get better and better and then you get addiction. I wear regular workout clothes there but its only chicks so its very comfortable. LOL and yes the shoes are standard and they make certain move easier to do. Without shoes, quite awkward. Its alot of fun. But if your like a republican, conservative type person, it will be difficult to do. You can to be able to let go and trust that you wont let yourself hurt youself.

I know it does! That is why I compared it to gymanstics. It looks like you have to have some serious core strength.

Well you know if you ever wanted a change of pae or to do something totally fun...you could runaway and join the circus! Hahahaha! All those flips, splits, spins, backward bends...

I agree with you this sport has been seriously perverted. At first I wasn't going to watch the video when it was posted in OT. Because from what I've seen on the movies (in theaters)...the people are half naked, shaking they booty...etc..

But, folks started commenting on the moves so I watched the video. It really does remind me of gymnastics...It's definitely something that takes hard work ..like any other sport or dance.

Ms.Honey · Mar 17, 2009

prettyfaceANB said:
I disagree. They dont train you to be strippers. Thats the biggest misconception of the sport. They teach you to build your strength to do the hard stuff. And whats stripper music?

So...according to your theory...since marijuana is associated with drug dealers, poverty, and godlessness, if you needed it for medicinal purposes, would you not take it?

Often times association with something is based on pop culture. And just because pop culture says its for this does not devoid its original purpose. Thats like saying sex is ok anytime, anywhere but we all know thats not its original purpose.

I'm not here to defend what I do nor to change your mind. I'll consider your viewpoint.

Pole dancing is a sport? OK. When the vast majority of people hear pole dancing what do they think? Do they think sport or stripper? What type of music are you training to? You don't know what I mean when I say stipper/club music?

Just pray and ask God.

BeautifulFlower · Mar 17, 2009

Pole and gymnastics is nothing both core strength. Your whole body has to be solid but core is essential. Without it, you're just walking around a pole pretty much.

I would LOVE to do gymnastics hardcore. They be getting it on the beam, floor, tramp, etc... But its much scarier. I tried it once and I fell on my head literally trying to jump and flip on the tramp. Needless to say, I didnt go back. Not a good look. If I get bored with pole, I'll probably try it again I am sure. The gym is boring to me. I like to stay active and fit in fun ways.

TrustMeLove said:
I know it does! That is why I compared it to gymanstics. It looks like you have to have some serious core strength.

Well you know if you ever wanted a change of pae or to do something totally fun...you could runaway and join the circus! Hahahaha! All those flips, splits, spins, backward bends...

I agree with you this sport has been seriously perverted. At first I wasn't going to watch the video when it was posted in OT. Because from what I've seen on the movies (in theaters)...the people are half naked, shaking they booty...etc..

But, folks started commenting on the moves so I watched the video. It really does remind me of gymnastics...It's definitely something that takes hard work ..like any other sport or dance.

BeautifulFlower · Mar 17, 2009

Ms.Honey said:
Pole dancing is a sport? OK. When the vast majority of people hear pole dancing what do they think? Do they think sport or stripper? What type of music are you training to? You don't know what I mean when I say stipper/club music?

Just pray and ask God.

Exactlly my point.

sport –noun 1. an athletic activity requiring skill or physical prowess and often of a competitive nature

It is a sport.

Ms.Honey · Mar 17, 2009

prettyfaceANB said:
Exactlly my point.

What's exactly your point?

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