First time self perming RANT!!!!!

Soooo a few months ago I posted a thread about how some psycho hairdresser over processed my hair.... that alone would make some think about getting rid of the middle man....and doing their own perm right??!! Nope that wasn't enough for me. I was up and ready to go to MY hairdresser and get that perm next week.... that was until today....

My sweet, caring, wonderful, OBLIVIOUS boyfriend spent a full 5 minutes commenting on how nappy my hair was. I mean I'm almost 12 weeks post so I was fine with the nappyness. But dannnnnggggg I was not expecting that from this man. I mean not to be cocky or anything but my booo ALWAYS loves me just as I am. If I come downstairs in holey a** PJs, he'll comment on how they bring out the color in my eyes (I mean I don't do that but u see my point)

So can ya'll understand my shock when I told him I had to go because I was doing my hair and he says woooh good cuz them naps were kinda getting outta control. I was bout to do my kinky curly braid out that I used to get compliments on all the time from this man not a perm... But when I said I was about to do my hair he thought that meant perm which to him was WONDERFUL because lately (APPARENTLY) my hair been looking kinda more kinky nappy than kinky curly which is all good for u naturals but is NOT cool when u got a perm

so what do I do. I run to the pharmacy grab a perm comb some naps and start attacking. it wasn't till i got 3/4 through my head before I realized that ONE i had not based my scalp and TWO i had no neutralizing shampoo....I've never permed my hair before so I don't know what the hell was going through my head. Currently I'm DCing and hoping for the best... Please pray for me yall I'm hopeing when this shower cap come off I don't lose all my hair with it/... I'll do updates and pics tomorrow... Unlless I'm bawling

Can you call up your boyfriend and ask him to stop at a 24 hour Walmart or something to get you some neutralizing poo?

I assume he'd prefer to have a girlfriend whose hair wasn't falling out because of an avoidable mistake.

*excuse me while i pick my jaw up*


girl im over here praying for you!!!!

get some neutralizing shampoo NOW. my hair fell out when I neutralized once, not neutralizing at all? big no no.

I am BEGGING you to get some neutralizing shampoo.

tatambabyy said:

I am BEGGING you to get some neutralizing shampoo.

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I second this, please, please, please get some neutralizing shampoo. you NEED to neutralize the perm as soon as possible.

Did you get some neutralizing shampoo? Or at least some vinegar and water to rinse with before you go to the store?

At least he won't have to worry about nappy hair, because you won't have any at all.

HappyHairDreams said:

I second this, please, please, please get some neutralizing shampoo. you NEED to neutralize the perm as soon as possible.

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OMG I'm actually soooo scared now! So what I did was use my clarifying shampoo and shampoo over and over. And then dc'd 2x and now I'm sitting here roller setted and damn near hysterical... I have nooo freaking clue what was going through my head. Well I had food poisening yesterday so maybe I puked up a little part of my brain....

You need to go to the store if you already haven't and get some neutralizing shampoo right away. The relaxer is still working inside of your strands, breaking down the bonds. No amount of "regular" shampoo will stop it. I agree with the poster who said to do an ACV rinse at minimum.
Good luck, OP. That story had me

I agree, get neutralizing shampoo and wash your hair over. What I usually do after self perming is neutralize 3 times, then use porosity control shampoo twice, then deep condition, after that I use porosity conditioner. I also use a little bit of neutral protein filler as a leave in (this is a strong protein), and zotos porosity equalizer on top of that (this softens it up a bit after the protein filler). I'm alittle paranoid about those cuticles staying close. All this is found at sally's.

Good Luck! I hope everything works out. Keep us posted

Well, hopefully - we will hear good news.

girl do you still have hair? did you ever go get that neutralizing shampoo? don't let some foolish man cause you to walk around looking like bozo the clown b/c half of your hair fell out. i was the victim of a partially neutralized relaxer once and i had a big shiny bald patch in the crown of my head to show for it

OMG!!! My heart just dropped to my stomach like I was on a roller coaster when I heard that! What happened??!!

hope that it worked out. don't relaxer kits come with neutralizing shampoo? which one did you use?

^Maybe she used a lye relaxer which usually doesnt come with the shampoo.

Dayum, girl. I'm really nervous for you. Please, make sure you're well prepared the next time you choose to self-relax. When I was relaxed I'd take inventory of my stash before starting my relaxer, every time. I also based my scalp a day or two before relaxing my hair.

And next time he starts in on your 'nappy' hair, tell him to fork over money for the salon or stfu! Men can be so insensitive sometimes.

ACV and WATER ASAP!!! until you go to the store. 1/4 cup acv to a quart of h20..rinse rinse and keep rinsing..

Okay seriously.

You came on here to POST about not neutralizing your hair, instead of getting some neutralizing shampoo?

I hope your hair survives. Good luck.

Ok I don't want to panick you but you must neutralize your hair, I don't want to beat a dead horse but no amount of deep conditioner, shampoo or whatever will stop it. That perm is still working until it neutralizes. Your hair can fall out if you don't neutralize enough, so not using any is not good. Also, you said you didn't base your scalp. I'll assume since you didn't mention it burned like hell, that at least that is okay but I would still check it to make sure. Sometimes, when you get relaxed you might have hard patches of hair that are stuck to your scalp, I never knew what that was called but maybe someone else can explain why that happens. Anyway just pray that you didn't set yourself back to far. Hopefully you've gotten the neutralizer and all is good.

yes not neutralizing is a big nono

I have a broken patch from the last stylist who didnt neutralize it enough.

I'm sorry that happened, but I'm confused as to why you had to run out and get a perm solely based on his comments. I hope your sweet, caring, wonderful, boyfriend who loves you just as you are went and got you some neutralizing shampoo....

YOU'RE HAIR WILL FALL OUT!!!!!

I don't care if you are at work. Leave immediately and GO get neutralizer.

You might as well had shaved your head!!!!!!!!!! Hurry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

itsdiddy said:

OMG I'm actually soooo scared now! So what I did was use my clarifying shampoo and shampoo over and over. And then dc'd 2x and now I'm sitting here roller setted and damn near hysterical... I have nooo freaking clue what was going through my head. Well I had food poisening yesterday so maybe I puked up a little part of my brain....

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OK, RELAXING IS A CHEMICAL PROCESS! NO AMOUNT OF SHAMPOO WILL STOP THE CHEMICALS FROM BREAKING DOWN YOUR HAIR. IT NEEDS TO BE NEUTRALIZED WITH NEUTRALIZING SHAMPOO.

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, YOU WILL BE BALD IF YOU DON'T GO TO STAT!!!

uhm......... so did you go and get the neutralizing shampoo?

malibu4590 said:

You need to go to the store if you already haven't and get some neutralizing shampoo right away. The relaxer is still working inside of your strands, breaking down the bonds. No amount of "regular" shampoo will stop it. I agree with the poster who said to do an ACV rinse at minimum.
Good luck, OP. That story had me

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nmomma said:

Ok I don't want to panick you but you must neutralize your hair, I don't want to beat a dead horse but no amount of deep conditioner, shampoo or whatever will stop it. That perm is still working until it neutralizes. Your hair can fall out if you don't neutralize enough, so not using any is not good. Also, you said you didn't base your scalp. I'll assume since you didn't mention it burned like hell, that at least that is okay but I would still check it to make sure. Sometimes, when you get relaxed you might have hard patches of hair that are stuck to your scalp, I never knew what that was called but maybe someone else can explain why that happens. Anyway just pray that you didn't set yourself back to far. Hopefully you've gotten the neutralizer and all is good.

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ajoyfuljoy said:

OK, RELAXING IS A CHEMICAL PROCESS! NO AMOUNT OF SHAMPOO WILL STOP THE CHEMICALS FROM BREAKING DOWN YOUR HAIR. IT NEEDS TO BE NEUTRALIZED WITH NEUTRALIZING SHAMPOO.

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, YOU WILL BE BALD IF YOU DON'T GO TO STAT!!!

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You all are tripping! The only reason that a neutralizing shampoo is a neutralizer is because it is acidic and counteracts the alkaline perm. So every shampoo and conditioner (they are made to be acidic like hair - check the citric acid and other ingredients added to lower the ph) is going to neutralize to some extent. I totally agree that neutralizing is a necessary and crucial step for maintaining healthy hair but not having neutralizing shampoo is not the end of the world.

Girl you just needed to rinse really well. Also wash and condition really well. If you have vinegar than do a vinegar rinse. If you have keracare poo (low ph) than definitely use that. Rinse, rinse, and rinse some more.

People are always going on about neutralizing 50-11 times but if you rinse your hair really well and get most of the perm out before you start neutralizing than all that neutralizing shouldn't be necessary.

vkb247 said:

You all are tripping! The only reason that a neutralizing shampoo is a neutralizer is because it is acidic and counteracts the alkaline perm. So every shampoo and conditioner (they are made to be acidic like hair - check the citric acid and other ingredients added to lower the ph) is going to neutralize to some extent. I totally agree that neutralizing is a necessary and crucial step for maintaining healthy hair but not having neutralizing shampoo is not the end of the world.

Girl you just needed to rinse really well. Also wash and condition really well. If you have vinegar than do a vinegar rinse. If you have keracare poo (low ph) than definitely use that. Rinse, rinse, and rinse some more.

People are always going on about neutralizing 50-11 times but if you rinse your hair really well and get most of the perm out before you start neutralizing than all that neutralizing shouldn't be necessary.

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I truly agree with VKB... also just know that it has been known that when you don't neutralize the relaxer revert. Sometimes after a couple of weeks you will see that the hair may look as if the relaxer didn't take or if it was "under processed"

You'll be fine.

vkb247 said:

You all are tripping! The only reason that a neutralizing shampoo is a neutralizer is because it is acidic and counteracts the alkaline perm. So every shampoo and conditioner (they are made to be acidic like hair - check the citric acid and other ingredients added to lower the ph) is going to neutralize to some extent. I totally agree that neutralizing is a necessary and crucial step for maintaining healthy hair but not having neutralizing shampoo is not the end of the world.

Girl you just needed to rinse really well. Also wash and condition really well. If you have vinegar than do a vinegar rinse. If you have keracare poo (low ph) than definitely use that. Rinse, rinse, and rinse some more.

People are always going on about neutralizing 50-11 times but if you rinse your hair really well and get most of the perm out before you start neutralizing than all that neutralizing shouldn't be necessary.

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When I was 12, I had a stylist who once didn't properly neutralize my hair. Now while I did not have baldness, my hair snapped to within two inches of my scalp along the crown.

I guess whatever shampoo my stylist used was "good enough" since I wasn't totally bald and disfigured?

How can you say in one breath that not using the proper shampoo is okay and then in the next breath say it's a crucial step?

I thought the point of this forum was to learn how to achieve healthy hair not over-processed hair that appears to be healthy since it's still attached to my follicles.

SMH. erplexed

malibu4590 said:

When I was 12, I had a stylist who once didn't properly neutralize my hair. Now while I did not have baldness, my hair snapped to within two inches of my scalp along the crown.

I guess whatever shampoo my stylist used was "good enough" since I wasn't totally bald and disfigured?

How can you say in one breath that not using the proper shampoo is okay and then in the next breath say it's a crucial step?

I thought the point of this forum was to learn how to achieve healthy hair not over-processed hair that appears to be healthy since it's still attached to my follicles.

SMH. erplexed

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I agree with vkb. Neutralizing IS the important step, but shampoo isn't necessary for neutralizing. Rinsing for a minimum of 5 minutes will stop the processing of the relaxer. Affirm Fiberguard, if I remember correctly, has the reconstructing step in between the relaxer and the shampoo. There's even a non-professional perm that you can buy off the shelf that has an intervening step as well. Now why would they do that step prior to shampooing if you NEEDED the shampoo to do the neutralizing? Wouldn't that make your hair break off because it's still processing?

Proper rinsing is necessary for neutralizing. Shampoo is not necessary for that step. Most stylists don't rinse ANYBODY for 5 minutes after their relaxer. FIVE FULL MINUTES is what perm manufacturers recommend.

People wonder why they don't have hair on their heads and/or their hair is snapping off - because their stylists are not following manufacturer's suggestions. Rinsing does the neutralizing. Special shampoos are unnecessary.