A Mother's Love: This Woman is a Hero

A New York City mom made the ultimate sacrifice — giving up her own life so her baby girl could live. Doctors told cancer patient Elizabeth Joice that she would never get pregnant, so when she did last year, it was something of a miracle. But joy quickly turned to heartbreak for Elizabeth and her husband, Max, when doctors presented her with an impossible challenge: terminate the pregnancy and begin treatment — or put her life in danger.

It didn’t take Elizabeth long to reach her decision. “Having a kid was one of the most important things in the world to her,” Max told The Post. “She said, ‘If we terminate the pregnancy and it turns out I can’t have a baby [later], I’ll be devastated.’ She knew this might be her only chance.”

Elizabeth and Max were together for two years in September 2010, when an MRI showed that what doctors thought was a herniated disc was actually a tumor. “The day the doctors called us with the results is also the day I proposed to her,” Max said. “She said, ‘If it’s terminal, I’m not even going to fight. Let’s travel the world until I keel over.’ ” Max made a beeline for the kitchen and returned with an engagement ring made of tin foil. “I said, ‘You don’t have the option not to fight’ and proposed to her then,” Max said. “We got married a month later.”

Elizabeth, 36, described as fiercely independent and optimistic, endured four rounds of chemotherapy, a surgery and even more chemo to make sure the tumor was eradicated. She was declared cancer-free for three years but still longed to have a baby, even though doctors told her it was impossible. Undeterred, the couple moved from the Upper East Side to Roosevelt Island in June 2013 to prepare to raise a family. Within a few days, Liz discovered she was pregnant. “I totally blew a gasket,” Max said. “They said there was no chance this was happening — and here it was happening.” But only a month later, they received the devastating news: The tumor was back.

Doctors removed the mass, but because she was pregnant, Elizabeth couldn’t undergo full-body MRI scans and her oncologist couldn’t see whether the cancer was growing. The baby was due March 4, but the doctors could no longer wait. In January, a surgeon performed a C-section and beautiful baby Lily was born. Elizabeth’s health quickly declined as her cancer spread. Tumors invaded her right lung, heart and abdomen “We said our goodbyes,” Max said. “It was like something out of a movie. We sat there and cried. We tried to tell stories, talk about all the great things.”

“Liz came home five days after Lily was born,” Max said. “That one night at home was all we had.” Elizabeth died on March 9 in her hospital bed with Max by her side. “Liz had this way about her,” Max said. “She had this positive energy that made you want to be the best version of yourself. She was intolerant of self-pity.” Liz grew up in Montclair, NJ, and was forced to raise herself after her mother died and her dad disappeared. She worked for real estate firm Tishman Speyer for a decade and was active with cancer charities. Friends, including the city’s pre-eminent writers and journalists from the now-shuttered Lion’s Head bar — once owned by Max’s family — are raising $50,000 to support the family.

Meanwhile, director Christopher Henze is wrapping up “40 Weeks,” a documentary that follows the Joices on their journey to have a child.
“Liz’s magic rubbed off on Lily,” Max said. “She’s beautiful and remarkable. It provides me with the strength to get through this.”

God bless Elizabeth!
Eternal rest grant to the faithful departed. May eternal light shine upon her.

This is what Jesus meant about a grain of wheat falling on the ground and dying to bear much fruit and give birth to new life. This is exactly what Jesus did--offer up His body for our salvation. True love is a cross. So we must also offer up ourselves for whatever suffering and sacrifice God deems fitting.

There are other stories of women sacrificing for their children: Gianna Beretta Molla and Chiara Petrillo. In a culture that celebrates death and selfishness (abortion) it is amazing to know that there are women like this.

My friend just died a few weeks ago of cancer with nearly the same circumstances. Unfortunately her baby didn't survive. It's hard for me to attach "hero" to either one though. Do anyone know the guilt the father or the child might bare in the future. Is it really that great to be raised without a mother?

Belle Du Jour said:

This is what Jesus meant about a grain of wheat falling on the ground and dying to bear much fruit and give birth to new life. This is exactly what Jesus did--offer up His body for our salvation. True love is a cross. So we must also offer up ourselves for whatever suffering and sacrifice God deems fitting.

There are other stories of women sacrificing for their children: Gianna Beretta Molla and Chiara Petrillo. In a culture that celebrates death and selfishness (abortion) it is amazing to know that there are women like this.

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This such a beautiful story. These mothers have the heart of our Lord Jesus.

Transformer said:

My friend just died a few weeks ago of cancer with nearly the same circumstances. Unfortunately her baby didn't survive. It's hard for me to attach "hero" to either one though. Do anyone know the guilt the father or the child might bare in the future. Is it really that great to be raised without a mother?

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It's never great to be without one's Mother, so I understand what you are sharing. However just think of how much love this child will be told that her mother has for her. Rather than end her baby's life, she gave it her very all. That's such a beautiful gift.

I get what you ladies are saying but this doesn't seem like the best option. While having to deal with the immense grief of losing his wife the dad also has to raise a child alone. What if grows to resent the baby for 'taking his wife' :/ very sweet story regardless.

My friend sent her family and friends on a huge emotional roller coaster. She had surgery with just local anesthesia but the shock to the body was too for the fetus. Actually, it felt sort of selfish.

I would hate for this to be the standard or expected behavior for pregnant women with illnesses. I am aware that this is the practice in many primarily catholic dominated countries.

nadaa16 said:

I get what you ladies are saying but this doesn't seem like the best option. While having to deal with the immense grief of losing his wife the dad also has to raise a child alone. What if grows to resent the baby for 'taking his wife' :/ very sweet story regardless.

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Not necessarily, don't know if they are believers or not but I hope there's a community of men and women willing to help him out with this. And who knows, maybe one day he can get remarried to someone willing to help him raise his child.

This was so moving. Thanks for sharing, Belle.

When I was around 21, my mom told me that no matter what, she would lay down her life for my siblings and me--even though we are all functioning adults. A mother's love never dies.

I'm sure for pregnant moms in life-and-death situations, it's not easy, and there is heartache and pain for them and their loved ones. My heart goes out to them. But if we can applaud a policewoman for risking herself for the sake of the citizenry, I see nothing wrong for a mother who risks herself for her own child to be a hero.

If we can look with teary admiration upon the person who jumped into a flowing river to save a life at the expense of his own, so can we too admire a mom who jumped into an other type of "river" to save her child's life.

She is a hero.

This reminds me of Gianna Molla, an Italian pediatrician who chose to save her unborn child as well. She has been canonized a Saint.

Transformer said:

My friend sent her family and friends on a huge emotional roller coaster. She had surgery with just local anesthesia but the shock to the body was too for the fetus. Actually, it felt sort of selfish.

I would hate for this to be the standard or expected behavior for pregnant women with illnesses. I am aware that this is the practice in many primarily catholic dominated countries.

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Catholics have the heart of Jesus and they care about life... ALL human life in all forms which makes this all the more beautiful and easy to understand.

I can say this. When a "Mother" (Catholic or non) knows that she is dying, giving life to her unborn child is the greatest extension of her love for the child. As for this Mother, she opted not to harm / kill her baby with the cancer treatments. Heaven only knows how much pain a baby suffers in the womb during these treatments, let alone an abortion.

It makes it all the more heroic that any mother would do such a great move of love. To be honest any pregnancy is a risk, labor is no joke.

I'll share something else. Once a Mother knows she is pregnant, there's no turning back for her. The joy and the caring of the precious life growing inside of her takes priority over everything.

I emphasize "Mother" and not 'woman'. Any woman can become pregnant, but it's a Mother who bares all things bringing her child into this life, with or without her. That's love, protecting her baby, from beginning to end.

Shimmie said:

I'll share something else. Once a Mother knows she is pregnant, there's no turning back for her. The joy and the caring of the precious life growing inside of her takes priority over everything.

I emphasize "Mother" and not 'woman'. Any woman can become pregnant, but it's a Mother who bares all things bringing her child into this life, with or without her. That's love, protecting her baby, from beginning to end.

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This gave me the chills. I've been thinking so much about motherhood lately. . .man, life is so funny. So many people don't want children and the ones who do don't have the opportunity to have them. *sigh* Let me not get off topic.

A very sad story. I had not read the story and I thought she chose to get pregnant knowing she was going to die. That's clearly not the case. I feel for her husband and child but she did the right thing.

I have seen stories of women who intentionally got pregnant knowing they were going to die and I did not agree with it. Others got pregnant knowing the pregnancy would kill them. It is very rough to grow up without a mother and I think it should be avoided if possible. Plus the child and the spouse who are left behind bear the brunt of the decision.