Relaxed hair ladies frowned upon?

CityGirl · Jan 17, 2013

I have healthy relaxed hair. It took me a long time and what I learned on this site to get to this point. I am just at BSL and that's really long enough for me. What I was wondering from you ladies is this, do you feel that people now sort of look down on those of us who still relax? I know the natural hair thing is hot right now and I feel like it is a thing that a lot of people are doing now because its kind of "in". But I have learned from this site that you can have healthy RELAXED hair and natural really is a lot of work until you get to find your groove and know what works for you and your hair.
I am old enough to remember my hair back in the day when a hot comb ruled the day. I lived and died by the weather report afraid of the least bit of humidity. I know there are a lot of flat irons and products that can help you manage natural hair these days, but it just isn't for me. But recently I have been wondering if anyone else sort of feels that those that have switched look at those of us who are still relaxing as somehow..."less than"?
I have had people say to me..."oh you're STILL relaxing" and then look at me as if I have two heads.
Is it just me?

LexiDior · Jan 17, 2013

I know the feeling. I see it when i search for products or information on hair. Even my youtube and ads on website are about natural hair. On Facebook i joined a group about being black and they post nothing but natural hair women and information. I mean can we get some love?????

fuchsiastar · Jan 17, 2013

I am natural, but I do see your point. In my social groups, it's less common for people to have relaxers...it's kinda like an "old-fashioned" thing to relax your hair in some circles. Whatever other people think though, screw them and do what's good for you and your hair.

MsSanz92 · Jan 17, 2013

fuchsiastar said:
I am natural, but I do see your point. In my social groups, it's less common for people to have relaxers...it's kinda like an "old-fashioned" thing to relax your hair in some circles. Whatever other people think though, screw them and do what's good for you and your hair.

IA. It's almost now like if you're still relaxing your hair people think you're not trendy, lower class (since IMO natural hair tends to still be and more prevalent in more educated circles), and/or have a great disdain for natural hair in general. Now we all know that is not true for all women with relaxed hair!

I see the concern, but in a weird way I'm glad relaxed hair is becoming taboo. There is NOTHING normal or natural about when a whole race of people have made it acceptable or the norm for the majority of the women to have their hair chemically treated, yet alone exposing CHILDREN to such caustic chemicals. For a long time most Black woman felt like relaxed hair was a necessity for being a presentable Black woman unless you were "mixed" and/or had looser textured hair.

Honey Bee · Jan 17, 2013

With all the "I'm about to texlax" threads I see around here? :lol:

I 'still' relax cuz I want to. Three hour detangling sessions, twists for weeks on end to keep hair stretched, preparing for two days in order to flat-iron? Aint nobody got time for that. :lol:

TopShelf · Jan 17, 2013

People have been relaxing for decades....are you serious?

Marand13 · Jan 17, 2013

Personally I see nothing wrong w it & its no one elses business what you choose to do to your hair. I went natural before it became a fad and I got the same kind of comments about my hair... But in reverse.. lol
"Why dont you relax your hair?"
"Are you growing dreads or something?"

erplexed

Yea... :lol:

I dont think its frowned upon.. I just think that people expect everyone to follow suit. I say, do you!

Honey Bee · Jan 17, 2013

Marand13 said:
Personally I see nothing wrong w it & its no one elses business what you choose to do to your hair. I went natural before it became a fad and I got the same kind of comments about my hair... But in reverse.. lol
"Why dont you relax your hair?"
"Are you growing dreads or something?"erplexed

Yea...

I dont think its frowned upon.. I just think that people expect everyone to follow suit. I say, do you!

Me too. And the same people who were like, Girl, why don't you just weave that up?

are now running around evangelizing about denmans and co-washing. I find it hilarious. I march to the beat of my own drummer. Do you, cuz I'm damn sure doing me.

Marand13 · Jan 17, 2013

Honey Bee said:
Me too. And the same people who were like, Girl, why don't you just weave that up? are now running around evangelizing about denmans and co-washing. I find it hilarious. I march to the beat of my own drummer. Do you, cuz I'm damn sure doing me.

Exactly!!
I say, "Hypocrite!!!" *In my Penelope Cruz voice* :lachen:

But seriously, I love healthy relaxed hair! Its so purrty :yep:

longhairdreaming · Jan 17, 2013

I've had relaxer free hair for a long time now(yes I'm one who's about to cross over lol) and I don't think relaxed women are looked down on. Though I will say some natural ladies go too far and look down on EVERYONE unless all their hair products come from a home grown compost gardens, don't have color in their hair(henna may be an exception) and NEVER straighten it(heaven forbid!)... There will always be those slightly crazy people with every movement(for lack of a better word) and they get on my very last nerve.

LaidBak · Jan 17, 2013

Honey Bee said:
I 'still' relax cuz I want to. Three hour detangling sessions, twists for weeks on end to keep hair stretched, preparing for two days in order to flat-iron? Aint nobody got time for that.

Amen.
I could care less who frowns upon me. I refuse to be a slave to my hair regimen.,

Channy31 · Jan 17, 2013

Where I live I don't think people even know what a weave, relaxer or afro even is. So they are all like secrets.

Either way I don't look down on those who relax, if anything I'm inspirired by those who relax and have healthy hair and like to get tips from them

kupenda · Jan 17, 2013

Do you feel looked down upon? Are you happy with your relaxed hair?

Anyone that's got a problem with how YOU choose to wear YOUR hair should immediately be dropped off your radar. Its none of their concern. I'm natural because I had an adverse reaction to a relaxer that left me with immense shedding. I fully intend to go back to relaxers because I'm lazy. Don't let a few crazies taint your image of you and your own people. In the grand scheme of things, it's just hair. If you like it, do it

lamaria211 · Jan 17, 2013

[QUOTE="longhairdreaming;17724821" Though I will say some natural ladies go too far and look down on EVERYONE unless all their hair products come from a home grown compost gardens

LMBO too funny!!

Guinan · Jan 17, 2013

I get the most shade, from both relaxed & naturals, cause of the fact that my hair is healthy and longer than most. I can't speak for all naturals but the ones that I interact with do have a problem with the whole texlax thing. They don't know if I'm natural or relax. I come up here with wash n go's one day & then bone straight flat ironed hair the next :lol:

. I think in general people just have to accept others preference in the way they CHOOSE to wear their hair.

I used to be natural (for 6yrs) & honestly I could not take it. But this was before I discovered this site & became more knowledgeable about natural & relaxed hair. IDK, I have LOVE for all types, lengths, textures, styles, naturals, texlaxed or relaxed hair. :drunk:

Guinan · Jan 17, 2013

Marand13 said:
Personally I see nothing wrong w it & its no one elses business what you choose to do to your hair. I went natural before it became a fad and I got the same kind of comments about my hair... But in reverse.. lol
"Why dont you relax your hair?"
"Are you growing dreads or something?"erplexed

Yea...

I dont think its frowned upon.. I just think that people expect everyone to follow suit. I say, do you!

OT, I really like your braids :yep:

You & your hair are gorg!

SimJam · Jan 17, 2013

to each their own, I wonder if ladies with naturally straight hair look down on those who get a curly perm ? I doubt it.

really, just do you and KIM

divachyk · Jan 17, 2013

I'm relaxed and no one looks down on me IRL. I've had great success with my relaxed hair. I've been relaxed for a very long time and don't remember much about my natural days as a kid. I've never been on the receiving end of any shade by naturals or relaxed. The only time I've seen a tug of war of natural vs. relaxed is through social media. However, I'm comfortable with my relaxed hair and and don't read too far into what someone is doing compared to what I'm doing.

Kinky4Agirl · Jan 17, 2013

I was natural for two years and then flew like hell to the salon retail store and bought a relaxer. The real question is, "What is wrong with relaxed hair." If they can't answer that then they are not worth your worries. Naturals seem to think that we do not embrace our heritage when we relax. But this is so far from the case. The only style I wore when I was natural was a ponytail or pushed back away from my forehead. Then I see these dreads, locks, twists, etc.. Is that "look" better than relaxed heads???? Not to me. I switched back to the relaxer because my hair is easier to manage this way. There is no such thing as wash and go for kinky hair. What you need to do is start looking at them the same way they look at you.

BostonMaria · Jan 17, 2013

I haven't relaxed in 6 1/2 years and I don't look down on anyone that relaxes their hair. If a person with relaxed hair asks for my regimen I let them know that I'm natural. I have so much going on in my life that I really don't care who does what LOL I say look at your options and make a decision that is best for you. I personally prefer natural hair, but do you.

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

pre_medicalrulz · Jan 17, 2013

Lol Yea right. I would like to see someone try to frown at me as I slowly walk pass them with my WL relaxed hair blowing in the wind as it smacks them in the face while smelling like strawberries & cream from a fresh cowash.

Too much??

Britt · Jan 17, 2013

Honey Bee said:
With all the "I'm about to texlax" threads I see around here?

I 'still' relax cuz I want to. Three hour detangling sessions, twists for weeks on end to keep hair stretched, preparing for two days in order to flat-iron? Aint nobody got time for that.

For real .. and I'm just now seeing the convenience and love for weaves. I'm enjoying this little break I'm giving my hair. It's even easier to detangle when I wash it.. Just glide the comb right on through it :lol:

.

Britt · Jan 17, 2013

pre_medicalrulz said:
Lol Yea right. I would like to see someone try to frown at me as I slowly walk pass them with my WL relaxed hair blowing in the wind as it smacks them in the face while smelling like strawberries & cream from a fresh cowash.

Too much??

Your relaxed hair is truly amazing... :drool:

Mande30 · Jan 17, 2013

pre_medicalrulz said:
Lol Yea right. I would like to see someone try to frown at me as I slowly walk pass them with my WL relaxed hair blowing in the wind as it smacks them in the face while smelling like strawberries & cream from a fresh cowash.

pre_medicalrulz
Too much??

Too funny!!!!!! I love it!!!!! I WILL make it there one day. :yep:

simplybeauty · Jan 17, 2013

The only naturals I see looking down on those who relax are the ones who just decided to go natural like yesterday LOL. The old natural heads could care less what you do, SOME of the new naturals are all like, "It's so much cheaper and easier to just deal with the hair God blessed me with and I'm black and I'm proud!" :spinning:

I'm like really girl, I'm the one who taught you how to deal with your natural hair so I know EXACTLY how much time and money you spend on that hair you cried over every day. I'm relaxed, but I love natural hair and like to admire it from a distance, I'm still debating if it's something I want to do. To each its own. I could care less about what people think about me and my relaxed hair or my generic braid outs! :lachen:

Evolving78 · Jan 17, 2013

i see it a lot on FB now. the natural nazis! :lol:

but i can't wait to get my hair to WL and post pics, just because i can (insert evil laugh)

Lucie · Jan 17, 2013

Some people do look down at me because I was natural for 2 years and relaxed again. No ***'s have been given. LOL! When it is time for me to BC again, I am sure some people will be annoyed. It's MY hair and I do with it, what I please! Just do you hon! You cannot make everyone happy.

APrayer4Hair · Jan 17, 2013

This topic will forever resurface and the stances will forever be the same. Just be yourself, everybody else is already taken. Whatever is conducive to ur lifestyle and ur likes/dislikes is all that matters.

koolkittychick · Jan 17, 2013

I am relaxed. My little sister is natural. She has fine 3b/4a hair, closer to my mom's 3a/3b hair. My hair is more fine 4a/4b, like my dad. We both have APL hair. When we go out together, we both get compliments on our hair, her for her tight little spirals springing out of her funky 'frohawk, me for my swang thang. Having been both natural and relaxed, I think it's more important to wear your hair the way that makes you feel your best. :yep:

That being said, I think what you're talking about is more of a regional thing than anything else. Down here in Florida, you don't have a stigma for being relaxed since the majority of Black women are, mainly due to the fact that natural hair gives you fewer options if you want to wear your hair straight on occasion (which is VERY HARD in our perpetually humid weather), whereas up north in the metropolitan area where my sister lives, more women opt for natural styles and don't see the need for the harsh chemicals of relaxer, since wearing your hair straight is not such a hassle up there. :ohwell:

TheNDofUO · Jan 17, 2013

pre_medicalrulz said:
Lol Yea right. I would like to see someone try to frown at me as I slowly walk pass them with my WL relaxed hair blowing in the wind as it smacks them in the face while smelling like strawberries & cream from a fresh cowash.

Too much??

That was literary hair porn

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