Sorta OT-- How to offer hair advice to a stranger

nicky

New Member
Hey ya'll!

Wow! my first post on the new board! I was going through withdrawals for a while there /images/graemlins/grin.gif

Anyway, here's my question which is related to hair care but also off topic... Saturday my best friend and I were at the local health care place getting our Aubrey's Conditioner and some new shampoo (also got a new leave-in from Giovanni which I think I like a lot!!! and here it was, I was trying to be a reformed PJ /images/graemlins/tongue.gif )

So, when we go to check-out, I'm teasing my friend about her causing me buy a new product when she knows I'm supposed to be cutting back!!! And then the sales clerk starts asking us a bunch of questions about the Aubrey's we're buying... at first both of us where kind of irritated because... well, you know how some black women can be-- having an attitude like "ya'll aren't white, why ya in here buying this expensive stuff?" And I guess we were both prepared for that... but then we noticed her hair which was about cheek bone length in a bob and VERY dry... and we both thought that maybe she really wanted someone to suggest something for her hair...

Neither of us said anything to her at the time and we didn't talk about it until we walked out of the store, but as soon as we walked out, we said at the same time "I wanted to tell her about longhaircareforum.com..."

How do ya'll handle situations like that? I mean, she didn't come straight out and ask us anything except how long we'd been using the Aubrey's (since the beginning of the summer). But this sister could have really used some of the pointers we've gotten here and both of us felt bad about not sharing the knowledge cause it's helped us so much! (My friend's hair is about 2-2.5 inches past her shoulders and mine has just barely reached BRASTRAP!!! /images/graemlins/grin.gif)

How do ya'll handle situations like that?

nicky
 

Crysdon

Well-Known Member
Nicky,

How often do you use the Aubrey GPB? I know some use it after every shampoo and some only once a month or around relaxer time.

I bought my bottle last Friday and I used it under my heat cap. My hair felt extremly soft and I'm hooked on this stuff.
 
H

HoneyRockette

Guest
I was just thinking about this. A woman on the train the other day had JACKED up hair. It was very short, uneven, dry looking and so greased up and stiff. A young girl with very long pretty hair got on the train and the woman asked her what she did to her hair. I could tell she hesitated at first but I was glad for her when she finally asked, (because I was also getting a few tips myself). Unfortunately I don't have long hair or nice hair so no one ever asks me for advice. If they did I would gladly offer it but I think that shoving advice at someone when they don't ask is rude. I would be offended if someone, especially with the way my hair looks now, came up to me and said "You know you should use this product or try this technique so your hair will look better." I am extra self conscious about my hair now and I think I would just cry my eyes out. This would be especially bad if we were in public. It is just embarrassing. Whether the intentions were good or not I would be humiliated. Sometimes it is appreciated though you never you the kind of person you are dealing with. That's just my opinion though.
 

kasey

Active Member
Re: Sorta OT-- How to offer hair advice to a stran

Hi Nicky,

I think that just by purchasing the Aubrey's you may have sparked the sales person into taking a closer look at the Aubrey's products.

I'll bet that right after you left she went to the isle and picked up a bottle of the Aubrey's conditioner that you bought for further inspection.

People can get kind of overwhelmed when you talk hair care especially when you go into the difference between protein, moisturizing and acidifying conditioners, shampoo ingredients, vitamins and styling techniques. They can get offended if you suggest that the reason their hair is dry is due to heat damage if they feel that they need to use blowdryers and curling irons every day to style their hair.

People believe that Black hair is dry. A lot of sisters think that the only way to have "great hair" is to be born with it, or to go to the salon every week. And they don't explore products that are not marketed to us.

I think that giving hair care advice unsolicited is like giving diet advice to an overweight person. It is best to wait until a person asks for your advice on a specific product or for a specific problem and then make a suggestion.

Or as you did at the health food store, show by example.
 

nicky

New Member
Re: Aubrey\'s GPB

Hey Crysdon,

Actually for my weekly (or twice weekly depending on time) shampoos, I use the Aubrey's Island Creme Rinse which has been very moisterizing for my dry hair. I use the GPB as a protein conditioner every other week and I always follow it by a moisterizing conditioner (Island Creme or occasionally Suave Biobasics with olive oil added). I like the GPB a lot, and I think you could use it weekly without any problem because it's very gentle and not drying like other protein conditioners-- seems more like a moisterizing conditioner to me and I've actually decided to switch to the Motions Silk Protein conditioner for my protein conditioner because I think it strengthens my hair more than the GPB does...

Hope that helps! /images/graemlins/smile.gif

nicky
 

nicky

New Member
Re: Sorta OT-- How to offer hair advice to a stran

Okay, I guess I don't have to feel guilty anymore. I sorta felt that she might be more embarrassed if we/I came straight out and gave her advice, but I wanted to see what ya'll thought. Maybe I'll ask her if she tried it the next time we go in and see if a conversation starts up that way...

nicky
 

skyye

New Member
Re: Sorta OT-- How to offer hair advice to a stran

I always want to offer hair advice to people that I see with less than healthy hair, but I think that's rude so I never do. I do offer advice to any and everyone that comments on my hair. I've come to notice that most people aren't even interested in taking proper care of their hair. I've given all my friends all the advice I've gotten on different hair boards over the years and they all want hair as long, thick and healthy as mine, but they don't ever seem to do anything I tell them and so many of them have really unhealthy hair that doesn't grow. I wish those that I do give advice to would use it and I wish everyone that needed advice would ask me for some.
 

BlkMane

New Member
I think you could have offered her advice without her even realizing that you were giving it. When she asked you about the Aubrey's stuff (and since you said her hair looked dry), you could have said something like: "Yeah, this is really good. MY hair used to be sooo dry, but these products work wonders. I also like their ______ and _______ because those are very moisturizing as well."

Get my drift?

I often do this. To them it seems like I'm talking about my hair, but in fact I'm recommending products for THEIR hair problems. Then it is up to them to check the products out or not.

I never comment about a stranger's hair directly, I just tell them what worked for ME /images/graemlins/wink.gif /images/graemlins/wink.gif, for the problems that THEY have. /images/graemlins/grin.gif
 

adrienne0914

Well-Known Member
LMBO, very clever, blkmane!!! /images/graemlins/grin.gif i'll have to remember that!

i'm like skyye. i offer advice to anyone that comments on my hair, but i would never suggest that someone's hair was unhealthy and risk hurting their feelings, since they probably wouldn't be receptive anyway. i'm definitely gonna try blkmane's approach in the future! /images/graemlins/smile.gif

adrienne
 

henrilou

New Member
Re: Sorta OT-- How to offer hair advice to a stran

Skyye: I can relate so much. All my friends ask me about my hair and how did I grow it. And I am not trying to keep anything a secret. I have spent alot of time explaining how good the hairsites are, and how vitamins work the hair that hasn't grown in yet and how heat is a killer, blah, blah, blah. And in the end not one of my friends has come to the hairsite, or bought vits. I just have to roll my eyes LOL. So now I know that when they're really ready, they will find their own way here...
 

DDTexlaxed

TRANSITION OVER! 11-22-14
this is prob a dumb q but who makes the aubrey's stuff and where do u buy it? It sounds like a good product
 

Chinagem

Well-Known Member
The brand is Aubrey Organics and you can find them here: www.aubreyorganics.com You can find them at other places for cheaper if you go to google and do a search for the products.
 
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