"First Man" - Is this a Proper Title for a Man Whose Wife is a Pastor?

Shimmie

"God is the Only Truth -- Period"
Staff member
RelaxerRehab said:
Just wanted to chime in here briefly.... Interesting points re. the terms "first lady" and "leading lady".... But why is the church so reluctant to call people by their FUNCTION? A pastor's wife who is not a pastor is STILL FUNCTIONING in so many areas. I think the "lady" term does a disservice to these women who are in these unique positions as the wife of a pastor of a church. Ministry ain't no joke! :) Leading and loving God's people is more than a notion....

If nothing else, the pastor's wife is first and foremost a "sister"... and/or as she matures, then she might become "Mother So and So".... Or if nothing else, BE CREATIVE! Before our pastor's wife began to advance in her functions, she was affectionately known as "Lady (first initial of her last name), like "Lady T".

I just think in the 21st century, we (the body of Christ) should own and be inclusive and proud to embrase the diversity of giftings and roles, regardless of gender. It would be nice for our (male) leaders to be secure in their God-given position as the leaders and to allow the women to fully flow in their God-given functions, in proper order of course.

"Lady RR" ... I like that ;) I wouldn't dare say, Lady Relaxer...:lol:
((( hugs ))) I'm being silly. ;) And having so much fun with this thread.

I do like Lady Precious, because you are just that, 'Precious' and I have God's word to prove it. (Isaiah 43:1-4)

Also, you do make so much sense about being creative and 'owning' and embracing our diverse gifts and roles in the Body of Christ.

BTW: Hmmmm, :scratchch: "Lady Shimmie" ---- Ahhhh, no :nono: I'd be banned from the Church. :lol:
 

StrawberryQueen

Well-Known Member
RelaxerRehab said:
Just wanted to chime in here briefly.... Interesting points re. the terms "first lady" and "leading lady".... But why is the church so reluctant to call people by their FUNCTION? A pastor's wife who is not a pastor is STILL FUNCTIONING in so many areas. I think the "lady" term does a disservice to these women who are in these unique positions as the wife of a pastor of a church. Ministry ain't no joke! :) Leading and loving God's people is more than a notion....

If nothing else, the pastor's wife is first and foremost a "sister"... and/or as she matures, then she might become "Mother So and So".... Or if nothing else, BE CREATIVE! Before our pastor's wife began to advance in her functions, she was affectionately known as "Lady (first initial of her last name), like "Lady T".

I just think in the 21st century, we (the body of Christ) should own and be inclusive and proud to embrase the diversity of giftings and roles, regardless of gender. It would be nice for our (male) leaders to be secure in their God-given position as the leaders and to allow the women to fully flow in their God-given functions, in proper order of course.
I really appreciate you saying this. :look:
 

Sweet C

Well-Known Member
I have only been at two churches where the wife is the Head Pastor, and her husband is not. With one, she is Apostle and he is Minister, and the other she is Pastor, and he is Elder. In both of these congregations, these men could clearly hold their own, especially in the first church, where both of them flowed together so awesome in ministry, it was hard to tell the two apart, b/c both were great ministers of the gospels. I have never been to a church where you have a husband and wife, and the wife is Pastor, but the husband isn't in leadership in any way at all.
 

Shimmie

"God is the Only Truth -- Period"
Staff member
Sweet C said:
I have only been at two churches where the wife is the Head Pastor, and her husband is not. With one, she is Apostle and he is Minister, and the other she is Pastor, and he is Elder. In both of these congregations, these men could clearly hold their own, especially in the first church, where both of them flowed together so awesome in ministry, it was hard to tell the two apart, b/c both were great ministers of the gospels. I have never been to a church where you have a husband and wife, and the wife is Pastor, but the husband isn't in leadership in any way at all.

Sweet C, thank you. For you have shared the order, that the husband belongs in leadership. ;)
 

PaperClip

New Member
http://www.crosswalk.com/pastors/11536161/

Article from www.crosswalk.com related to the topic....

Encouraging Words for Pastors' Wives

Lois Evans






When I became a pastor's wife, I didn't know where to turn for help. My husband, Dr. Tony Evans, could go to conferences and network with other pastors, but there weren't any things like that for me. At first, I struggled to live up to an image of what a pastor's wife should be. But when Tony told me he just wanted me to be me, it represented a real turning point.


My experience led me to create the First Lady Conference for senior pastors' wives, so these often overlooked women could be educated and encouraged. The ministry is growing -- our seventh annual conference attracted more than 500 women last year. But ministries like the First Lady Conference and the Global Pastors Wives Network are still not widely known.


Unfortunately, it takes something like the murder trial of Mary Winkler on April 9 to draw attention to the unique needs of senior pastors' wives.

When the Tennessee woman was charged last March with shooting her husband in the back with a shotgun, it created headlines around the country.

I've never met Mary Winkler, and I don't know what happened in the privacy of her home between her and her husband Matthew, pastor of Selmer's Fourth Street Church of Christ. But I've talked with hundreds of women who have struggled with the burden of being a senior pastor's wife. It's safe to say that Mary Winkler's family needed help. It seems that there may have been no place to turn, and no place to talk, to help defuse what became an explosive situation.

Since the news broke, speculation about the Winklers' marriage has gone public in a way that rarely happens to a preacher's wife.

According to testimony in a bond hearing, Mary Winkler told investigators that she shot her husband after they argued about financial problems.

Various news outlets have indicated that she was the victim of a financial
scam.

The Associated Press reported last April that "experts say preachers' wives often struggle with depression and isolation" because they are "expected to be exemplars of Christian virtue while bearing unique pressures on their private and public lives."

During a November interview on ABC's "Good Morning, America," Winkler's family said they believe she killed her husband because she was abused. Her father said that he saw "bad bruises" covered by heavy makeup on her face.

The Associated Baptist Press, using Christian counselor Tony Rankin as a source, reported last August: "In Rankin's opinion, pastors' wives sometimes engage in an unattainable quest for perfection, often isolating themselves and losing a sense of reality along the way."

There has been so much interest in gaining a glimpse into this often secret world that the CBS drama "Close to Home" aired an episode about a fictional pastor who was found dead in his home, with his wife and secretary the main suspects.

While we don't know the details of what happened between Mary and Matthew Winkler, this much we do know: Pastors' wives have as high a level of stress and burnout as their husbands do.

The late Bill Bright, founder of Campus Crusade for Christ and the Global Pastors Network, gleaned these figures from various sources a few years ago:
  • <LI class=MsoNormal style="mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1">Eighty percent of pastors and 84 percent of their spouses feel unqualified and discouraged in their roles. <LI class=MsoNormal style="mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1">Eighty percent of pastors' spouses feel their spouse is overworked. <LI class=MsoNormal style="mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1">Almost 40 percent of pastors polled said they have had an extramarital affair since beginning their ministry. <LI class=MsoNormal style="mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1">Fifty percent of pastors' marriages will end in divorce.
  • Eighty percent of pastors' wives feel left out and unappreciated by the church members.
When pastors' wives have problems, they often go undetected because they can become isolated and lonely. In "What Pastors' Wives Wish Their Husbands and Churches Knew About Them," Pastornet.net reported in 2001 that 56 percent of pastors' wives had no close friends in the church. Often these women, looked up to as leaders, are reluctant to approach members of their congregations for help.

So next time you see your pastor's wife, be sure to offer some words of encouragement. She may need them more than you know.

Lois Evans
will host the First Lady Conference June 7-9 in Dallas. She is a former president of the Global Pastors Wives Network. Contact her at [email protected].
Related Links
 

Bunny77

New Member
This isn't really related to the topic, but the title of "First Man" in government (cause someone asked about Hillary Clinton).

Michigan has a female governor and her husband is called the "First Gentleman."

Just throwing that out there as an example of what one political couple has done.
 

GodsPromises

The Credit Countess
Thanks for that RR,

There is also an association for Minister's Wives and Widows called the " Interdomational Assiciation for Ministe's Wives and Minsiter's Widow which is a wonderful association and very helpful.

RelaxerRehab said:
http://www.crosswalk.com/pastors/11536161/

Article from www.crosswalk.com related to the topic....

Encouraging Words for Pastors' Wives

Lois Evans






When I became a pastor's wife, I didn't know where to turn for help. My husband, Dr. Tony Evans, could go to conferences and network with other pastors, but there weren't any things like that for me. At first, I struggled to live up to an image of what a pastor's wife should be. But when Tony told me he just wanted me to be me, it represented a real turning point.


My experience led me to create the First Lady Conference for senior pastors' wives, so these often overlooked women could be educated and encouraged. The ministry is growing -- our seventh annual conference attracted more than 500 women last year. But ministries like the First Lady Conference and the Global Pastors Wives Network are still not widely known.


Unfortunately, it takes something like the murder trial of Mary Winkler on April 9 to draw attention to the unique needs of senior pastors' wives.

When the Tennessee woman was charged last March with shooting her husband in the back with a shotgun, it created headlines around the country.

I've never met Mary Winkler, and I don't know what happened in the privacy of her home between her and her husband Matthew, pastor of Selmer's Fourth Street Church of Christ. But I've talked with hundreds of women who have struggled with the burden of being a senior pastor's wife. It's safe to say that Mary Winkler's family needed help. It seems that there may have been no place to turn, and no place to talk, to help defuse what became an explosive situation.

Since the news broke, speculation about the Winklers' marriage has gone public in a way that rarely happens to a preacher's wife.

According to testimony in a bond hearing, Mary Winkler told investigators that she shot her husband after they argued about financial problems.

Various news outlets have indicated that she was the victim of a financial
scam.

The Associated Press reported last April that "experts say preachers' wives often struggle with depression and isolation" because they are "expected to be exemplars of Christian virtue while bearing unique pressures on their private and public lives."

During a November interview on ABC's "Good Morning, America," Winkler's family said they believe she killed her husband because she was abused. Her father said that he saw "bad bruises" covered by heavy makeup on her face.

The Associated Baptist Press, using Christian counselor Tony Rankin as a source, reported last August: "In Rankin's opinion, pastors' wives sometimes engage in an unattainable quest for perfection, often isolating themselves and losing a sense of reality along the way."

There has been so much interest in gaining a glimpse into this often secret world that the CBS drama "Close to Home" aired an episode about a fictional pastor who was found dead in his home, with his wife and secretary the main suspects.

While we don't know the details of what happened between Mary and Matthew Winkler, this much we do know: Pastors' wives have as high a level of stress and burnout as their husbands do.

The late Bill Bright, founder of Campus Crusade for Christ and the Global Pastors Network, gleaned these figures from various sources a few years ago:
  • <LI class=MsoNormal style="mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1">Eighty percent of pastors and 84 percent of their spouses feel unqualified and discouraged in their roles. <LI class=MsoNormal style="mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1">Eighty percent of pastors' spouses feel their spouse is overworked. <LI class=MsoNormal style="mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1">Almost 40 percent of pastors polled said they have had an extramarital affair since beginning their ministry. <LI class=MsoNormal style="mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1">Fifty percent of pastors' marriages will end in divorce.
  • Eighty percent of pastors' wives feel left out and unappreciated by the church members.
When pastors' wives have problems, they often go undetected because they can become isolated and lonely. In "What Pastors' Wives Wish Their Husbands and Churches Knew About Them," Pastornet.net reported in 2001 that 56 percent of pastors' wives had no close friends in the church. Often these women, looked up to as leaders, are reluctant to approach members of their congregations for help.

So next time you see your pastor's wife, be sure to offer some words of encouragement. She may need them more than you know.

Lois Evans
will host the First Lady Conference June 7-9 in Dallas. She is a former president of the Global Pastors Wives Network. Contact her at [email protected].

Related Links
 

Shimmie

"God is the Only Truth -- Period"
Staff member
RelaxerRehab said:
http://www.crosswalk.com/pastors/11536161/

Article from www.crosswalk.com related to the topic....

Encouraging Words for Pastors' Wives

Lois Evans

When I became a pastor's wife, I didn't know where to turn for help. My husband, Dr. Tony Evans, could go to conferences and network with other pastors, but there weren't any things like that for me. At first, I struggled to live up to an image of what a pastor's wife should be. But when Tony told me he just wanted me to be me, it represented a real turning point.

My experience led me to create the First Lady Conference for senior pastors' wives, so these often overlooked women could be educated and encouraged. The ministry is growing -- our seventh annual conference attracted more than 500 women last year. But ministries like the First Lady Conference and the Global Pastors Wives Network are still not widely known.


Unfortunately, it takes something like the murder trial of Mary Winkler on April 9 to draw attention to the unique needs of senior pastors' wives.

When the Tennessee woman was charged last March with shooting her husband in the back with a shotgun, it created headlines around the country.

I've never met Mary Winkler, and I don't know what happened in the privacy of her home between her and her husband Matthew, pastor of Selmer's Fourth Street Church of Christ. But I've talked with hundreds of women who have struggled with the burden of being a senior pastor's wife. It's safe to say that Mary Winkler's family needed help. It seems that there may have been no place to turn, and no place to talk, to help defuse what became an explosive situation.

Since the news broke, speculation about the Winklers' marriage has gone public in a way that rarely happens to a preacher's wife.

According to testimony in a bond hearing, Mary Winkler told investigators that she shot her husband after they argued about financial problems.

Various news outlets have indicated that she was the victim of a financial
scam.

The Associated Press reported last April that "experts say preachers' wives often struggle with depression and isolation" because they are "expected to be exemplars of Christian virtue while bearing unique pressures on their private and public lives."

During a November interview on ABC's "Good Morning, America," Winkler's family said they believe she killed her husband because she was abused. Her father said that he saw "bad bruises" covered by heavy makeup on her face.

The Associated Baptist Press, using Christian counselor Tony Rankin as a source, reported last August: "In Rankin's opinion, pastors' wives sometimes engage in an unattainable quest for perfection, often isolating themselves and losing a sense of reality along the way."

There has been so much interest in gaining a glimpse into this often secret world that the CBS drama "Close to Home" aired an episode about a fictional pastor who was found dead in his home, with his wife and secretary the main suspects.

While we don't know the details of what happened between Mary and Matthew Winkler, this much we do know: Pastors' wives have as high a level of stress and burnout as their husbands do.

The late Bill Bright, founder of Campus Crusade for Christ and the Global Pastors Network, gleaned these figures from various sources a few years ago:
  • <LI class=MsoNormal style="mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1">Eighty percent of pastors and 84 percent of their spouses feel unqualified and discouraged in their roles. <LI class=MsoNormal style="mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1">Eighty percent of pastors' spouses feel their spouse is overworked. <LI class=MsoNormal style="mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1">Almost 40 percent of pastors polled said they have had an extramarital affair since beginning their ministry. <LI class=MsoNormal style="mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1">Fifty percent of pastors' marriages will end in divorce.
  • Eighty percent of pastors' wives feel left out and unappreciated by the church members.
When pastors' wives have problems, they often go undetected because they can become isolated and lonely. In "What Pastors' Wives Wish Their Husbands and Churches Knew About Them," Pastornet.net reported in 2001 that 56 percent of pastors' wives had no close friends in the church. Often these women, looked up to as leaders, are reluctant to approach members of their congregations for help.

So next time you see your pastor's wife, be sure to offer some words of encouragement. She may need them more than you know.

http://media.salemwebnetwork.com/Crosswalk/personalities/LoisEvans.JPGLois Evans will host the First Lady Conference June 7-9 in Dallas. She is a former president of the Global Pastors Wives Network. Contact her at [email protected].
Related Links
Thank you RR, this is so very true. ;)
 
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