Discussing your marriage bed with others, is this right?

(I posted this in the christianity forum but I think it would be intersting to hear various perspectives and not just Christian/Biblical...sorry mods.)


Several weeks ago, whilst sitting in the canteen at church, I over heard a conversation (okay I was eaves dropping but they knew I was) between two married people. They were not married to each other, I guess they are just very good friends. Whilst talking about various family/ marriage orientated topics, their conversation progressed to sex and they were quite explicit about their sexual relationships with their spouses. The woman is pregnant and was explaining how the pregnancy (which is her third; she has twin daughters and a son) was not planned and how the coil had moved etc. etc. Then the man talked about his own wife's contraceptive methods. They also talked about sexual positions, how often they had sex and pointed out a few women who they believed 'satified' their husbands.

Now, whilst I believe it is good to have friends when you are married, should there or shouldn't there be a limit to what you discuss with others about your marriage bed?
NB/ The people in question seemed either to have forgotten that there were others around even though the place was crowded or they did not mind that young, single people were most probably listening. Please do not critise me for eavesdropping, it was kinda hard not to.

missyT said:

They also talked about sexual positions, how often they had sex and pointed out a few women who they believed 'satified' their husbands.

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OMG... dang! I don't see anything immediately wrong though, B U T, it's these kind of comfortable conversations that lead to building emotional ties to people outside of your marriage, and eventually leads to the temtation of having an affair. It's a gradual thing so I wish I could tell them watch how much of their personal life that they dish out to people. Whew!

I personally dont think it's right to let ANYONE know about your sex life regardless. Then some people wonder why they find their best friend in bed with their husbands.I've had friends who actually criticized me for not discussing details like that. They thought it was natural and normal to spill the beans about your sex life. No thanks.....That's between me and him.

Sweetyb said:

OMG... dang! I don't see anything immediately wrong though, B U T, it's these kind of comfortable conversations that lead to building emotional ties to people outside of your marriage, and eventually leads to the temtation of having an affair. It's a gradual thing so I wish I could tell them watch how much of their personal life that they dish out to people. Whew!

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Strangely, I forgot about the whole issues with affairs. I must add that the two sounded like they were having a 'casual' conversation. I believe that is all there is to it! Hmmmm!

I think it depends on the person but I personally dont talk about my sex life with anybody but my partner because Im just like that and dont feel comfortable talking about what I do in the bed with my friends. If they felt comfortable to do so then so be it but truthfully its THEY BUSINESS.

missyT said:

Strangely, I forgot about the whole issues with affairs. I must add that the two sounded like they were having a 'casual' conversation. I believe that is all there is to it! Hmmmm!

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Well, I hope it was, um, "casual" since they weren't exactly speaking in private I like to watch that show "Diary of an Affair", and it seems many times than not, the cheaters really thought they were having innocent conversations and outings. They didn't realize they were having an affair until clothes started coming off, lol.

But I guess there are also some people who know how to draw their boundaries *shrug*.

Reminds me of a convo I had 2 days ago. It was really casual with my fiancee's friend. He was saying how much of a test ot was to go a year and a half without havign sex with his wife. It got kinda graphic but it was really about how he stayed faithful (Im on an abstinance quest and he provided some really good info.) Now on the other hand if they were tlakign about how other people looked liek they could really leave thier partner satisfied... Were they talking about someone they knew? Back in the day (very childish) my friendsa nd I would talk about how good Allen Iverson looked liek he would be or how good Jay-z would be in bed but never anyone that we knew personally. That seems a littel wierd that they are wondering about how good thier acquaitances are in bed.... I think that was the line...

Whatever floats their boat. I don't think their discussion will lead to an affair. A conversation about sex doesn't lead to sex unless that person already had scandalous thoughts. Everyone isn't private as you can see from the convo? LOL