Real Talk: Hair Confessions

...My hair seems to grow super slow and it's saddening me.

...I can't take good precise comparison pics. I may need to make a growth measurement teeshirt or something...

I confess:
- My hair is growing soooo slow or wait am I just impatient?
-Once my hair gets the length I want I might relax it againerplexed

I snuck 2 bottles of expensive conditioner in with the grocery bill last week. Hubby didn't know!

These are my confessions:

I wish when I had waist length hair... I gave a damn. Now I gotta go around and front to folks like "it's just hair" (when they ask me what happened)...knowing I'm trying daily and nightly to get anything that will speed up my hair growth.

I wish I had never let the careless stylist give me straight bleach highlights over a relaxer two weeks later.

That I will go to another stylist other than my regular for an ends trim bc my regular seems scissor happy..and tell my regular.. "my cousin did it"

That for the short time I was transitioning I really missed my relaxed hair..and when I relaxed two weeks ago..it was orgasmic..

That I'm never ever ever ever ever ever getting highlights or color again after these grow out.. I'mma be black beauty for real.

That I wonder about the texture of my future children's hair... (that's a really bad one) and I let my colorstruck family get to me when they say..."such and such (my fiancee) doesn't have hair good as ours..we gonna pray for your babies"...however self hating and politically incorrect that is..

It takes me 2 hrs to twist my hair. I wish it didn't take so long. My hair has grown a little since my BC, but I would like for it to grow a little faster.
I am addicted to wearing wigs at work. I want to find a nice natural hair style I can wear to work so I can burn my wigs.

I only wear my twistouts on the weekends and my husband absolutely loves them. Sometimes my twistouts don't turn out like they should and I would like to find another regimen for my thick 4b hair.

I'm tired of using Dove all the time, I want to try other soaps but I can't because I have sensitive skin and they break me out.

I wish I could find a nice everyday eyeshadow that would define my eyes and make me feel pretty.

When I was single I would get my nails done every two weeks. I stopped and I think I did because I was only doing it to impress other people (men I was dating). I am happy with not getting my nails done, but sometimes I look at my hands and feel like I should be getting them done just because.

KEWLKAT103 said:

-It really bothers me to walk in a room full of AA women and be the only one wearing my own hair on my head.

-When someone on here complains that people think all AA women with long hair is fake, I understand why.

Click to expand...

Thank you so much for this!

My confessions are:

* Every since I self-relaxed, I really started to fall in love w/ my hair Probably b/c it's a half inch to an inch away from BSL.

I know I'll get stoned for these 2 comments, but here goes

* Stop acting brand new when it comes to these hair comments (from white or black people)! "Is that your real hair?" "Black women wear weaves" "Black women can't have long hair" Of course, this doesn't apply to ALL of us, but let's not act like this hasn't been the majority of our experience as well. I don't blame them for the opinion, when that's probably what they see/hear on the regular.

which brings me to

* I don't blame men for weave-checking I don't even find it rude if a guy asks if that's your real hair. If it was the norm for men to be stuffing their pants with socks, I would damn sho' like to know and ask (probably) upfront if his sh!t was real too.

^^^

E_Williams20 said:

Thank you so much for this!

My confessions are:

* Every since I self-relaxed, I really started to fall in love w/ my hair Probably b/c it's a half inch to an inch away from BSL.

I know I'll get stoned for these 2 comments, but here goes

* Stop acting brand new when it comes to these hair comments (from white or black people)! "Is that your real hair?" "Black women wear weaves" "Black women can't have long hair" Of course, this doesn't apply to ALL of us, but let's not act like this hasn't been the majority of our experience as well. I don't blame them for the opinion, when that's probably what they see/hear on the regular.

which brings me to

* I don't blame men for weave-checking I don't even find it rude if a guy asks if that's your real hair. If it was the norm for men to be stuffing their pants with socks on, I would damn sho' like to know and ask (probably) upfront if his sh!t was real too.

Click to expand...

Real talk.!!!!!!

E_Williams20 said:

Thank you so much for this!

My confessions are:

* Every since I self-relaxed, I really started to fall in love w/ my hair Probably b/c it's a half inch to an inch away from BSL.

I know I'll get stoned for these 2 comments, but here goes

* Stop acting brand new when it comes to these hair comments (from white or black people)! "Is that your real hair?" "Black women wear weaves" "Black women can't have long hair" Of course, this doesn't apply to ALL of us, but let's not act like this hasn't been the majority of our experience as well. I don't blame them for the opinion, when that's probably what they see/hear on the regular.

which brings me to

* I don't blame men for weave-checking I don't even find it rude if a guy asks if that's your real hair. If it was the norm for men to be stuffing their pants with socks, I would damn sho' like to know and ask (probably) upfront if his sh!t was real too.

Click to expand...

There it is...........

I would like to transition one day.

I am afraid of what my natural hair will look like.

I feel sassier with short hair...I think it looks better on me.

I feel sexier with longer hair...I think I feel better with it.

I am addicted to bunning. I cannot imagine wearing my hair down YET.

Bunning has made me soooo lazy. I never feel like doing my hair anymore.

Now that my regimen is solid, I don't visit the Hair Discussion forum as much. I feel guilty.

daephae said:

I would like to transition one day.

I am afraid of what my natural hair will look like.

I feel sassier with short hair...I think it looks better on me.

I feel sexier with longer hair...I think I feel better with it.

I am addicted to bunning. I cannot imagine wearing my hair down YET.

Bunning has made me soooo lazy. I never feel like doing my hair anymore.

Now that my regimen is solid, I don't visit the Hair Discussion forum as much. I feel guilty.

Click to expand...

Same here

My goal is to not buy anymore conditioner until I finish with all the conditioner I have at home. It's getting kinda hard. I feel like a crackhead.

honestly im tired of this six mos stretch and thinking about going natural. I feel like just perming it and not waiting until next year to figure it out.

I really want to be a do it yourself. I think my current stylist is giving me a setback. If things dont work out with this one I'm gonna start self relaxing. I know a lot about hair but I'm not good with styling at all.

The main reason I started taking my supplements and eating better was because I knew I was messing up my hair with my junk food habits. Yes I'm vain.

I have a few, lets see where to start,

1. I went natural for the first time accidentally (High School-first duty station), then I was foolish and relaxed even though I had no real idea how to take care of my relaxed hair. I then accidentally transitioned because I was pregnant and after I had my son getting a relaxer was the last thing on my mind. I said I would never get another relaxer. Then I deployed, went completely natural and a few months after I returned..... I relaxed again (even though I requested a texlax) and I thought that wrapping it up every night gave me liberty to do whatever I wanted to do with it during the day so I basically fried it. I got deployed again and cut off the relaxed hair which was APL to a TWA. I vowed then never to get another relaxer and so far so good.

2. From my join date to now I should at least be at BSL-MBL. But I am not because while I have been taking my hair care seriously I have been too busy trying to keep up with the latest hair styles and colors and have been hindering my growth/retention. I put my foot down and wrote out a plan for November 08 to December 2009 for my hair and I have every intention on sticking to it. If I am diligent the way I hope I will be then I have no doubt that I will be BSL-MBL by this time next year, MBL-WSL the next and so on and so forth.

3. I cant remember who said it but when I reach my goal Imma be throwing my s**t around and telling you it's potpouri...lol No one on this earth will be able to tell me NOTHING!!!! I will be the happiest and feel like the sexiest woman God ever created. I absolutely LOVE my hair texture/curl pattern etc.. but I just need/want LENGTH! I'm definately not going to be mean or snooty about it in any way shape or form but inside I'll know how I'm feeling.

4 Last one I promise- I cant wait to reach my goal length so when people ask me what I'm mixed with I can yell at them I'm AFRO-AMERICAN, I'M BLACK!!!...People always assume I am mixed because my skin color, hair texture and eye color and features in general; and I am, but I hate when people assume, like the Black side of me couldn't be the contributing factor to how I look...I dont know maybe I am over reacting but it does get old to me...

I love being natural but I don't like the shrinkage. Also, I'm 3c/4a combo and sometimes I wish I was 3c all over.

Right now, I am having a battle w/myself deciding on what to do with my hair. I texturized my natural hair on Oct. 7 and also got a much needed trim. However, I hate the results of my texturizer. It is both under and over processed. While my curls are much looser and it is extremely easily to detangle(actually a joy....never thought I would say that) I have the desire to relax bone straight. I am attempting a 3 month stretch and wonder if I should relax bone straight or get braids to stretch for another 3 months(bringing my stretch to 6 months and then relaxing bone straight). I am hesistant to get braids b/c my hairline is really fragile but do feel that the lady who is going to braid it will do a great job and do them exactly how I want them. My hair is knotting up on some strands and my fear is that it will worsen while in braids.

What should I do ladies? Any/all advice is greatly welcomed and much appreciated.

* I want healthy hair but hate doing it. I won't let anyone except (maybe) my mami touch it.

* I don't trust anyone to dust or trim my hair. The first time I let someone besides my mami do my hair, they cut my WSL hair to SL to accomodate a hairstyle! It took forever to grow back.

* I need to do something about all of the conditioners in my closet/ bathroom; there's no room for my DH's everyday necessities.

* I would love to go natural... but I can't stand my new growth in between stretches.

* I'm growing out my hair for two reasons: to please both myself and my DH. He loved it when my hair was about APL in HS; I loved never having to do much besides rollerset, moisturize, and put it up!

* When I reach my goal length... I want even walk anymore. I'll be levitating out sheer happiness!

This is the longest my hair has been since childhood and I actually look way better with very long hair. The fact that I'm natural makes my pressed hair look sexy. I dont want to cut or color my hair ever again.

Now to relax again, well......

kblc06 said:

-And I totally agree with SOANXIOUS; I'm working on losing weight now. When I get back to my old measurements (34D/32DD-24-36) with TBL hair, I'll throw my sh%t in your face and tell you its potpourri

Click to expand...

I just lost 5 pounds. Mind you I cheated, I'm using diet pills LOL But I figure if I keep this up and lose 20 more pounds..AND have long natural hair... I might as well blow up because my head will swell up like a balloon

I don't like kinky curl pattern, I prefer wavy. My regimen is all about accentuating the wave pattern.

-I have no regrets on relaxing even though my mother was against it (started when I was 18). My natural hair is way too thick and wavy.

-I wish my hair was as glossy as many of the users on this board.

-I don't regret it when I cut my hair.

-I hate the humidity here and wish I lived somewhere else for my hair's sake lol

Long hair makes me feel sexy, no matter what I am wearing.

I hate doing other people's hair.

I love giving advice about hair.

I have no regimine. I use different products all the time, I do nothing on schedule.

I never do protective styling.

I haven't washed my hair in 4 weeks and my hair looks fabulous right now.

I just trimmed an inch off my hair because I was bored.

My hair looks very healthy, but I always have split ends...no matter what I do.

E_Williams20 said:

Thank you so much for this!

My confessions are:

* Every since I self-relaxed, I really started to fall in love w/ my hair Probably b/c it's a half inch to an inch away from BSL.

I know I'll get stoned for these 2 comments, but here goes

* Stop acting brand new when it comes to these hair comments (from white or black people)! "Is that your real hair?" "Black women wear weaves" "Black women can't have long hair" Of course, this doesn't apply to ALL of us, but let's not act like this hasn't been the majority of our experience as well. I don't blame them for the opinion, when that's probably what they see/hear on the regular.

which brings me to

* I don't blame men for weave-checking I don't even find it rude if a guy asks if that's your real hair. If it was the norm for men to be stuffing their pants with socks, I would damn sho' like to know and ask (probably) upfront if his sh!t was real too.

Click to expand...

To the bolded - THANK YOU!

STLCoverGirl said:

Long hair makes me feel sexy, no matter what I am wearing.

I hate doing other people's hair.

I love giving advice about hair.

I have no regimine. I use different products all the time, I do nothing on schedule.

I never do protective styling.

I haven't washed my hair in 4 weeks and my hair looks fabulous right now.

I just trimmed an inch off my hair because I was bored.

My hair looks very healthy, but I always have split ends...no matter what I do.

Click to expand...

Your hair is gorgeous! Can't wait to get to that length.

I'm amazed at how much my hair has grown out since I cut it at the end of last year.

If I had a good set of clippers at home at the time, I would've shaved my head during my postpartum hair loss period.

It's been nearly two years since I had braid extensions and I don't miss them one bit.

I've grown to dislike any hands in my hair besides my own. The only exceptions are my husband and my 15 month old DD.

I think a lot of good moisturizers are being ruined with the addition of mineral oil.

If I go more than three days between conditioner washes, my hair is really hard to detangle.

Conditioner washing my hair is a form of relaxation for me.

My hair shrinks like crazy when it dries - and I actually like it.

I could care less about the length of my hair. The health of my hair and how well I take care of it are what's important to me.

I often wear scarves because I don't feel the need to my hair to show off to other people.

As my hair gets bigger, it's become more of a fun challenge to find hair accessories to hold it all in.

The best orgasm I've ever had happened the first time I used the Paul Mitchell Tea Tree Special Shampoo. Talk about great relief for an itchy scalp. :crazy:

I absolutely love, love, LOVE my natural hair.

E_Williams20 said:

Thank you so much for this!

My confessions are:

* I don't blame men for weave-checking I don't even find it rude if a guy asks if that's your real hair. If it was the norm for men to be stuffing their pants with socks, I would damn sho' like to know and ask (probably) upfront if his sh!t was real too.

Click to expand...

Yes, yes and yes.
I would weave check too. It's their prerogative if they don't want to deal with fake hair.

I am slightly jealous of my friend that has BSL hair. She hasn't done anything to her hair and it grows.

I am annoyed that a 'friend' went natural right after I did. Ms. Metoo.

I messed my hair up in the worst way
i used pink no-lye which left me over and under processed

I regret relaxing my hair before i found the hair boards
if i had of waited i would of learned the proper way to relax my hair evenly

Ive done a corrective relaxer on my hair 3 times
and i plan on doin another one come my next touch-upand i dont think ill stop till it gets bone straight

I confess i wanna switch to lye so bad!!!
ive seen and heard too many raves about how much moisture your hair retains when you use lye im so tired of using fittyleven conditioners jus to maintain some healthy hair bling

Im obsessed with hair and i suffer from a serious case of hand in hair disease!
i just cant help it i gotta constantly touch my hair sometimes i spend hours in the bathroom swingin and staring at my hair and its even worser when i get past 2 months post ill rake through my new growth and check my progress every chance i get running my fingers across my "scalp coilies" as i call them lol

Im trying my best to stick out this looooooooooong stretch
its only been 14 weeks lol and im such a newbie when it comes to longterm stretching my original goal was 5 months by december (inspired by so many 6 month stretchers) but with my hand in hair anxiety and 5-6 inches of uderprocessed hair in the back plus almost 2 inches of newgrowth taking over i may relax this week im praying my order of aubrey organics hsr comes in to save the day to the point that ill be able to go another month

Ive come to terms with protective styling
until i found the hair boards i didnt know that i was in a 7 year hide your hair challenge lol but ever since i relaxed ive been a bad gurl with keeping up with the retention of my ends i know and understand that the only reason my ends appear to be thick now is because of the constant trimming of progress ive maintained bsl for years and im so ready to be longer but i know that the only way to get there is by my evil stepsister... the wetbun!!!( i cant help it i have a wierd face and my hair pulled back looks so funny) but ever since i bunned more ive noticed that i may not have to trim this touchup...

Im so nervous about being here......
i guess it stems from being such a loner when i was in school for some reason i jus wanted to come here and make so many hair friends but im so scared i dont know why im very shy and if someone has complimented me and i havent said anything back i apologize sometimes i have a burning question but i be scared to create a post thinking that no one will ever reply i know its jus me thinking and assuming but i mus say watch out when i get my digicam a picture will be worth a thousand words

needless to say ive gotten everything off my chest

I confess:

I don't trust hairstylists, beauticians, hair maintenance technicians, etc. whatever they want to call themselves.

I would rather take the chance and do it myself, blame myself if I mess it up and deal with the consequences, and not pay anyone else to mess up my hair.

I thank God for this board, especially the self relaxers support thread. It has helped me with relaxer independence.

My regimen is in the tweaking phase. I shampoo, deep condition, moisturize, and oil with different products every week.

I am still a product junkie.

I still make my own oil and butter concoctions.

I am a member of several hair boards, but this is my favorite.