Hair...The Black Woman's Curse?

[mnemosyne]

Originally Posted by Jessy55

Hush!!!

Don't you know, to even admit that we have to do special things and go to greater length to retain hair than our white and asian counterparts means you're full of self-hate?

[Monigirl]

Originally Posted by Mahalialee4

Could you explain the "hyperpigmentation" thing? Is this only in patches or are you referring to the overall color of your skin? thanks for reply.

Just in my life I have experienced more delimas with my skin than my hair (acne, cyst, blemishes). I feel hair makes a woman beautiful weither it be long, short, or medium but a womans skin is what trully makes her beautiful. Personnaly I get more jealous when I meet or see women with youthful beautiful blemishes free skin tone... may I add without wearing makeup. That is why I am planing to a do a master cleanse or detox soon in the efforts to improve my skin complexion.

OT:
Hyperpigmentation is something all races deal with espically women of color and women in my family. I personally have minor hyperpigmentation on my face in a few areas. Hyperpigmentation is when your skin heals darker than the original shade after you get a scar or pimple or experience trama. In a nutshel is it a blemish or mark that heals darker than your original skin tone. I will be going to school soon to study skin and beauty procedures to help myself and other achieve flawless youthful complexions.

No I am not refering to the overall color of my skin....I love my beautiful brown skin color that God has given me and would not want any other. I just want clear skin.

Here are some pics of black women dealing with hyperpigmentation and got chemical peel treatments.



Before:



After:
After

[nodisrespect]

Well, at the risk of being labeled a black Nazi (or whatever) or self hating (or whatever) I'd like to throw my two pennies into this here pot:

Both sides of the issue are valid. It is just an undebatable fact that black people, with curlier hair that is thus more fragile, have to work harder to retain their hair. I don't see how one is wrong for being upset or frustrated for having to work twice as hard to get something that comes effortlessly for others. I wonder if anyone who is of the opinion that this is a weak, self hating, or invalid argument feels the same about about black people who believe America is still racist and blacks still have to struggle twice as hard as whites for the same jobs, same education, same rights?

Yet on the other hand, when DOES the frustration become a self-hindrance? I read the part about the exercising. Personally, I am in the gym all the time and the only thing I think about my hair is if it's coming out of the ponytail or how dry it will be because of the sweat. This is something that I really don't like about the whole difference-in-hair argument because is showing the world your hair in its natural state such a horrific scenario that you are going to avoid exercise? Like, I'm black, and when I sweat, my hair gets frizzy and big and NAPPY (OOH THE N WORD), so what? Who cares? That's what it naturally looks like, that's what people should expect for it to look like when it gets wet, both black people and white people, so why is something this fundamental and simple such a hindrance to something so beneficial? I really don't like this because it (the argument itself) feels like to me people are so afraid of anyone seeing them without their hair Euro-straight that they can't participate in anything that would betray that illusion.

I mean, I get mad that it seems to take a million magic lotions and potions for me to tame my hair. But at the same time I realize that as a black person, my hair is never going to be sleek straight, and anyone seeing me with my hair NAPPY is seeing me for what I am, and if they take issue with that, especially as a fellow black person, they are the one with the problem. Black people seem quicker than anyone else to look at you funny if you show even the slightest hint of curl, unless you are somewhat Afrocentric and then they will take it as some sort of statement of defiance. I eventually had to come around to this way of thinking, because it IS ingrained in us and in our culture. It took a few months into learning how to care for my hair that well, it's going to HAVE to look "not-straight." It's NOT going to be able to be combed and styled all the time. Once I realized how much more my hair is going to flourish from not trying to force styles on it that it can't handle, the idea of wearing my hair straight all the time started to seem ridiculous, and I was able to not care what anyone would think if I wore my hair less sleek and less styled than people expect of me. I am not a Nappy Nazi by far (and I would go so far as to say I do not advocate their way of thinking at all) but I do think there is a lot of latent resentment for "nappy" hair that we all need to get over. I DO NOT MEAN THAT PEOPLE WITH RELAXERS ARE SELF HATING.

[Ms.Honey]

Originally Posted by nodisrespect

Well, at the risk of being labeled a black Nazi (or whatever) or self hating (or whatever) I'd like to throw my two pennies into this here pot:

Both sides of the issue are valid. It is just an undebatable fact that black people, with curlier hair that is thus more fragile, have to work harder to retain their hair. I don't see how one is wrong for being upset or frustrated for having to work twice as hard to get something that comes effortlessly for others. I wonder if anyone who is of the opinion that this is a weak, self hating, or invalid argument feels the same about about black people who believe America is still racist and blacks still have to struggle twice as hard as whites for the same jobs, same education, same rights?

Yet on the other hand, when DOES the frustration become a self-hindrance? I read the part about the exercising. Personally, I am in the gym all the time and the only thing I think about my hair is if it's coming out of the ponytail or how dry it will be because of the sweat. This is something that I really don't like about the whole difference-in-hair argument because is showing the world your hair in its natural state such a horrific scenario that you are going to avoid exercise? Like, I'm black, and when I sweat, my hair gets frizzy and big and NAPPY (OOH THE N WORD), so what? Who cares? That's what it naturally looks like, that's what people should expect for it to look like when it gets wet, both black people and white people, so why is something this fundamental and simple such a hindrance to something so beneficial? I really don't like this because it (the argument itself) feels like to me people are so afraid of anyone seeing them without their hair Euro-straight that they can't participate in anything that would betray that illusion.

I mean, I get mad that it seems to take a million magic lotions and potions for me to tame my hair. But at the same time I realize that as a black person, my hair is never going to be sleek straight, and anyone seeing me with my hair NAPPY is seeing me for what I am, and if they take issue with that, especially as a fellow black person, they are the one with the problem. Black people seem quicker than anyone else to look at you funny if you show even the slightest hint of curl, unless you are somewhat Afrocentric and then they will take it as some sort of statement of defiance. I eventually had to come around to this way of thinking, because it IS ingrained in us and in our culture. It took a few months into learning how to care for my hair that well, it's going to HAVE to look "not-straight." It's NOT going to be able to be combed and styled all the time. Once I realized how much more my hair is going to flourish from not trying to force styles on it that it can't handle, the idea of wearing my hair straight all the time started to seem ridiculous, and I was able to not care what anyone would think if I wore my hair less sleek and less styled than people expect of me. I am not a Nappy Nazi by far (and I would go so far as to say I do not advocate their way of thinking at all) but I do think there is a lot of latent resentment for "nappy" hair that we all need to get over. I DO NOT MEAN THAT PEOPLE WITH RELAXERS ARE SELF HATING.

Amen, Amen,Amen,AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Ms.Honey]

Originally Posted by lilamae

Note to self: ( and I guess to others) no matter who disagrees with my frustration, my feelings are valid and I will not go back and forth with others who disagree and let this thread turn unnecessarily ugly

Everybody is entitled to express there opinion regardless if they agree with me or not...

PS: No I do not think our hair is a curse I was just repeating what the lady at my office said.

Note to you: (and I guess to others) You, Lilamae, feel how you feel, how you feel, and that's that!!! NOBODY has the right to rag on you for how you feel. I don't care what anybody says EVERYBODY has had atleast one bad hair day. No one has awakened every single day of their lives loving everything about them. So some of us looove our hair and are proud, good congratulations but today Lilamae's not feeling it. Dang, you'd thought she was sacrificing virgins or something. Americans of all races have gotten into this bad habit of believing, "I got the right to say...." And no everyone's opinion does not need to be heard by everyone regardless of what Oprah says!!!!!
Please continue, thank you.

[MizAvalon]

I can't wait to read this thread. Sounds like there is a lot of good dialogue.

[Piscesgirl718]

Originally Posted by cmesweet

Maybe it's just me, but I don't see all the hype about White Women's hair. I went to school with alot of them, so I sat behind alot of them. Their hair always looked tangled, or heat damaged. Nothing great about that

Cosigning on this. Today in class, I was sitting behind this white girl and I was looking at her hair. It looked dull, tangled, and even more dry than my hair. I couldn't believe how dry it was. I guess that's a result of using a flat iron and blow drying too often.

[nodisrespect]

Just offering more opinions, I see far more white women with pretty, shiny, well kept hair than I do those with tore up hair. Like a 80/20 split in my experience. Of course it probably has a lot to do with each individual white girl's personal hygenic upkeep than like... white girls in general.

[DragonPearl]

Originally Posted by nodisrespect

Yet on the other hand, when DOES the frustration become a self-hindrance? I read the part about the exercising. Personally, I am in the gym all the time and the only thing I think about my hair is if it's coming out of the ponytail or how dry it will be because of the sweat. This is something that I really don't like about the whole difference-in-hair argument because is showing the world your hair in its natural state such a horrific scenario that you are going to avoid exercise? Like, I'm black, and when I sweat, my hair gets frizzy and big and NAPPY (OOH THE N WORD), so what? Who cares? That's what it naturally looks like, that's what people should expect for it to look like when it gets wet, both black people and white people, so why is something this fundamental and simple such a hindrance to something so beneficial? I really don't like this because it (the argument itself) feels like to me people are so afraid of anyone seeing them without their hair Euro-straight that they can't participate in anything that would betray that illusion.

I agree with you that the frustration can become a self-hindrance. Often times, frustrated women just give up on caring for their hair and just slap a wig or weave in order to move on with their lives. Yes, for many of these women, their hair feels like a curse, especially if they have not been exposed to correct hair practices and are not aware of what protective styles can do for our hair. That doesn't make them bad people. Thank God we have sites such as these to educate black women on finding ways to handle our unique hair, whether in its natural or relaxed or texlaxed stage.

[lilamae]

Originally Posted by Jessy55

I agree with you that the frustration can become a self-hindrance. Often times, frustrated women just give up on caring for their hair and just slap a wig or weave and move on with their lives. Yes, for many of these women, their hair feels like a curse, especially if they have not been exposed to correct hair practice. That doesn't make them bad people. Thank God we have sites such as these to educate black women on finding ways to handle our unique hair, whether in its natural or relaxed or texlaxed stage.

Yes that's is exactly what I was thinking. I've been wanted waist lensth hair since I was in grade school. I'm 30 now and without this forum I have no idea how i would have ever found a way. I am certain I'll be there in the next couple of years.