Developing an Eating Disorder of some sort?

[Porsche19]

I don't know whether I have an eating disorder, or I'm in the early stages of one... or something. Unforuanately, I don't have a therapist to talk to right now, so... just tell me if this sounds fishy.

A little info about me:

For a very short amount of time in my early teens, I threw up my food. Since then... I've been tempeted to, thought about it, actually gotten ready to do it, but I just haven't. For an even shorter amount of time I've went like a day without eating. It never went on for more than one day... here and there, months in between. I havne't done that in like 2 years though. I have a milder form of depression, dystimc disorder. I've never been very thin sinca I was a child, but I've never been obese or very fat. I've always been a size 9/10 to 13/14... which I consider to be chubby but not out of control.

Currently:

I eat very little... not many calories per meal. On a normal day I eat about 1200-1300 calories per day. Three small meals, sometimes I cut a small meal in half and have 2 tiny meals spaced like 2 hours apart. On abnormal days I eat everything I can get my hands on... when I'm feeling depressed, angry, sad, if I did something dumb that day and I'm embarrassed... I totally pig out in a disgusting way, I eat twice or even three times the amont of calories I eat in a normal day.

I also think about eating all of the time. I've never been one to work out, for very long periods of time, but I do intense, short workout every other day... used to do them everyday but I got too sore, so I do it every other day and do yoga in between. I feel ugly when I'm at the higher range of my weight (size 13/14, where I'm at now actually) and much better when I'm at 9/10. I would even like to get below a 9/10... to about a 5 or 6.

How bad does this sound?

[WesternEyes]

Porshe, i'm so sorry sweetie. There are many things you are experiencing that could be considered to be an eating disorder. I also have a binge-eating problem that I am trying to get rid of. Sometimes, okay alot lately, i have eaten so many calories at once and feel so horrible, i'm talking about a big mac, large fries, large soda, and a large piece of cheesecake for one meal. It is so hard for me to stop doing this because I get into this mood in which I feel really bad about myself, and then i'll eat to make me feel better, but i always feel worse afterwards. Sometimes i catch myself before this happens. You just have to remind yourself that you don't need food in order to help with stress and issues. It's hard though.
As for bulimic episodes, thank goodness you have stopped. I almost had some bulimic moments too, but then i stopped and thought to myself, "what am i doing". I wouldn't have to be thinking about this if i would just eat the right amount of food that i need.
I have this unhealthy relationship with food that i am working on right now. While it is hard to confront my eating issues, i'm trying to deal with them one step at a time. Exercise has made it easier.

As for dealing with these problems, i think that you should talk to somebody that cares about you and tell them what is going on. Or talk to a doctor, or even a fitness specialist/trainer. And there are many specialists that deal with eating disorders. There are also support groups on the internet, which is really nice to have because then you feel like someone else understands your situation. If you'd like, you can PM and talk.


Here is some info I have found on ivillage from an article by Lynn Grieger, R.D., C.D.E.
http://www.ivillage.com/diet/experts/askdiet/articles/0,,99311,00.html

Types of disordered eating

Anorexia nervosa
Anorexia often begins with a need to control surroundings, low self-esteem and the fear of becoming fat. Obsessive dieting leads to starvation. And controlling the amount of food eaten becomes a major source of control for everything else that goes on in life. Typical symptoms of anorexia are obsessive exercise, calorie and fat gram counting, restriction of food, denial of hunger, use of coffee or smoking to avoid eating and an overwhelming concern with body image. People with anorexia never see themselves as thin. In their eyes, they are always fat, no matter how little they weigh.

Bulimia
Bulimia involves a cycle of uncontrolled binge eating followed by purging. A person with bulimia will purge by using laxatives, inducing vomiting, exercising compulsively or fasting. The binge-purge cycle can be triggered by hunger, stress, depression, anxiety or other emotions. Typical symptoms include binge-purge episodes, a feeling of lack of control over eating and life in general, strict exercise and dieting guidelines, use of laxatives, diuretics or diet pills and a poor self-image.

Compulsive overeating
People who feel they are ''addicted'' to food and often find themselves using food to satisfy emotional needs such as stress, depression, or anger may be compulsive overeaters. They typically do not follow overeating with purging but often berate themselves for not being able to follow a diet, have low self-esteem and feel ashamed of themselves. Eating to satisfy a void in your life or as a way to cope with feelings has a strong underlying psychological element that needs to be addressed.

Combinations
It's not uncommon for someone to restrict her food intake compulsively (anorexia) for a period of days or weeks, then suddenly start eating large amounts of food followed by purging (bulimia). Sometimes people use exercise as a method to purge. It's often more socially accepted to run an additional two miles because you ate a cookie than to make yourself vomit, but the reason behind the purge is the same. Symptoms of anorexia, bulimia and compulsive overeating often go together.

If you think you have an eating disorder:
• Admit you have a problem and that you need help to solve it.
• Tell someone about your feelings. Talk with a friend, teacher, counselor, physician, pastor or parent. Talking about your feelings with someone you trust is crucial.
• Find a doctor who is well informed about eating disorders. Disordered eating can lead to medical problems that need to be addressed.
• Assemble a treatment team that consists of a therapist, a dietitian and perhaps a support group. You can't beat eating disorders on your own, and there are always numerous issues that need to be addressed. Find professionals you feel comfortable with who can help you through your journey toward recovery.