How do you manage to push through???

[babyb900]

Sorry that this is so long, but right now, I feel like I have absolutely no support from anywhere.

My brother wants me to attend his football games, my sister wants me to see her dance recitals, my SO wants me to watch his band practices and go to their shows and my mother wants me to watch her children while she pursues her dream of being a hairstylist.

NONE of them want to support me through losing weight.

None of them want to work out with me. They dont give me motivational words. They won't even be my accountability partner. If I miss a workout, they wont say "Hey, did you workout today??"....they don't even notice.

Just nothing. While I'm busting my bum trying to eat healthy and workout, they will eat fried chicken with macaroni and cheese while sitting on the couch watching me workout. I'm "fine the way I am" :rolleyes:

I feel so beat down you guys. I feel like no one is supporting me through this. I want to so bad, I just hate the size I am. I am the biggest I have ever been in my life. Sometimes, I wish I had never got on birth control, but I needed it to regulate my cycle. Now that is resolved, but now I weigh over 200lbs.

The last time I lost weight (I had gained about 20lbs at that time) I had my younger brother with me and it was great. We were both losing weight and looking great. It didnt even feel like hard work, just great fun. Now me and him don't live together anymore, so that's out the window.

What did you ladies do? I seriously dont think I can make it alone, but who can I run to? I just need one person, just one, to help me. What did you ladies do to get through times like this?

[Filmatic]

Either they need to support you are risk losing you supporting them. I understand completely being pulled 15 different ways but if they can't even give you words of encouragement then why are you bending over backwards for them?

Tell them you are going to miss some of their things so that you can meet up with someone to encourage and motivate you. They will get the point.

I joined a running group and I also joined groups on meetup.com. You need to find like minded people. People who are into exercise. It will motivate you. When you hang around healthy people it just starts to rub off.

[tocktick]

I understand you go to their shows/games/babysit etc. However, I think wanting them to change their diets (i.e - not eat fried chicken etc near you) and picking up exercise are not quite on the same level. I am actually also in a situation where my family does no exercise and they eat muffins, pizza, pasta, fried chicken etc almost daily but I can only change my own habits. Asking them to change with me is quite a tall order. As for who to run to when you need that bit of encouragement? Use this board.

Honestly, I feel losing weight is ultimately a process one goes through alone even if you have support. If you mess up, no-one is going to be more hurt and upset than you. Likewise, no one feels more elated when you finish a successful workout or reach a goal.

I guess my point is that you're going to have to find a way for your own willpower and strength to carry you through this process. Support from your family may well be something that comes later down the line or it may never come at all but you have to keep pushing on regardless. Don't use their indifference as a way to stay stagnant. Don't wait for your family to tell you to put down an obviously unhealthy food or for someone to agree to workout together.

I know the process is hard but there are tools you can use to make the process easier such as joining challenges on this board, keeping a diary or using SparkPeople (http://sparkpeople.com) etc. Good luck!

[loved]

Use this board, some other online group, or something in your community like weight watchers to help you or find a self-motivating tool such as dietpower software.

Ultimately, this is a journey that you will have to walk alone, one day, one meal, one diet journal log, one exercise session at a time. The danger of relying on someone else is that when they fall off, you may be encouraged to follow. My relative recently joined a gym with her girls & they were very excited for the first few weeks. And then the excuses came, 1 of the girls would say that she was really busy/had a headache/hangover and the group would skip. I talked to my relative 1 day when I caught her at home on what should have been her gym day & she committed to go it alone. Now she has the attitude that it's nice if they are there, but it will not impact her choices.

[babyb900]

I understand you go to their shows/games/babysit etc. However, I think wanting them to change their diets (i.e - not eat fried chicken etc near you) and picking up exercise are not quite on the same level. I am actually also in a situation where my family does no exercise and they eat muffins, pizza, pasta, fried chicken etc almost daily but I can only change my own habits. Asking them to change with me is quite a tall order. As for who to run to when you need that bit of encouragement? Use this board.

Honestly, I feel losing weight is ultimately a process one goes through alone even if you have support. If you mess up, no-one is going to be more hurt and upset than you. Likewise, no one feels more elated when you finish a successful workout or reach a goal.

I guess my point is that you're going to have to find a way for your own willpower and strength to carry you through this process. Support from your family may well be something that comes later down the line or it may never come at all but you have to keep pushing on regardless. Don't use their indifference as a way to stay stagnant. Don't wait for your family to tell you to put down an obviously unhealthy food or for someone to agree to workout together.

I know the process is hard but there are tools you can use to make the process easier such as joining challenges on this board, keeping a diary or using SparkPeople (http://sparkpeople.com) etc. Good luck!

I don't expect them to change their eating habits or always exercise with me, but something would be nice. I think its a little inconsiderate to watch someone exercise while eating unhealthy foods. It seems more like they are trying to break me down instead of help.

If you tell someone, "Hey, I'm trying to stop eating pizza" and they constantly bring pizza in front of you munching and saying things like "Mmm this tastes so good, too bad you can have any" would you feel like they are supporting you? Its mockery and it makes me want to go Jackie Chan on them :look:

[Fallen Angel]

When you do something for yourself some people don't want to help you because your going against the grain.Keep workout no matter what and when they start seeing results they may join.Also I know that we as women tend to try to help/be supportive of others and let ourselves go without that support.I challenge you that if it came down to doing your workout vs going to a event or something for someone else do you workout.If that person isn't ok with that then that their problem.You are number 1 in your world so act like it.I know it would be nice for some kind words but those close to us never do the right thing

[MonaRae]

This song says what I can't put to words. Yes its a gospel song but place it where you need it and you will understand.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6yhgFxDQMw&feature=PlayList&p=16A3C833C5FC2E36&index=0&playnext=1

[tocktick]

I don't expect them to change their eating habits or always exercise with me, but something would be nice. I think its a little inconsiderate to watch someone exercise while eating unhealthy foods. It seems more like they are trying to break me down instead of help.

If you tell someone, "Hey, I'm trying to stop eating pizza" and they constantly bring pizza in front of you munching and saying things like "Mmm this tastes so good, too bad you can have any" would you feel like they are supporting you? Its mockery and it makes me want to go Jackie Chan on them :look:

I see. In your OP, I think it appeared that you were wanting their support to extend into doing this with you at some level. Also, you didn't state in your OP that they were actually mocking you; I don't believe someone eating what they want to in your presence is necessarily an insult towards you. However, I do agree that the direct taunts are inconsiderate and rude. My suggestion to you would be:

1) try to workout when people aren't likely to be eating
2) silently get on with things instead telling people want you can't eat or what you need to do.

I still think whether your family is in your corner or not, you need use your own willpower and be your own motivator. Use their negativity as something that motivates you - make yourself want to prove them wrong instead of allowing them to drag you down. Join challenges on this board for that accountability in the first stages of your journey.

Not facing temptation at home may make things easier but there will always be temptation - when out with friends, at other family functions, at work, food adverts, you'll even crave foods without it being there etc. If you find a way to develop a love of healthier eating and always keep in mind that unhealthy food makes one's body unhealthy then it will be much easier to bypass junk at home and every where else.

Who will get the last laugh when you're slimmer, have added years to your life, you can run non-stop and have a glow in your face? You.

[Nyssa28]

I know where you're coming from on the birth control tip...I started taking Yaz last year and have gained close to 80 pounds in that time. It is definitely a blessing and a curse. The majority of my working out is alone, although I prefer to have others support me, I stay focused on my goal and know that I am the one responsible for my health.

Maybe you could show your fam a lesson by not supporting them and see how they like those apples.

[kbragg]

I didn't have a lot of support either but I've lost 80lbs. I say that not to brag but to encourage you that you can still succeed with your family cheering you on. My family is on the other side of the contry and my inlaws just do not discuss weight at all (it's not considered polite). My hubby "says' he doesn't care whether I lose weight or not (though he's loving my new slim body and perky booty now:giggle:) so I didn't have anyone really propelling me forward toward my goals.

What I did is I plugged into this site and another (wahm.com though it's not as active in the fitness section anymore) got on as many challenges as I could, got a workout program that I loved and just did it! I focused not on getting results but creating habits. It didn't have to be perfect just had to be done. I used thedailyplate.com to get into the habit of eating the right calories, I exercised everyday except Sunday, I cleansed a couple of times (your body needs it or the weight will come back) I tried lots of things but most importantl I kept moving forward and I am almost at goal.

So bottom line, you have friends here. This is a closely knit group we lean on and each other, join a challenge, participate in some threads, get in the habit of eating clean and exercing and you will succeed!

[MiSs_RoChELLe]

I have found that I literally have to take things one day at a time. I plan ahead for the purpose of having some type of order in my life, but other than that my main focus is trying to get through THIS day accomplishing the fitness and diet goals that I have set for myself. Before I would try to get through it by saying that "This month I will loose 10 pounds" or "I will try loose this amount of inches this month". Before I know it, that month will go by and I wouldn't have done squat! I will let everyone around me influence my eating habits and days will turn into weeks and weeks will turn into months being passed by and I will still have no progress.