How do you know when it's time to leave...

[neenzmj]

your church home?

Ladies, I've been a member of a small church for 13 years now. During that period, the membership has dropped and their is a general spirit of frustration and at times, apathy. In his frustration, the Pastor has threatened to step down several times. It is difficult to continue being a part of a body that (at least by eyesight) appears to be falling apart. It is equally difficult to remain in a place where the head (the Pastor) is frustrated and threatening to walk away.

I know I can't walk by sight, but how long should one stay in this type of environment?

[hairlove]

Is there anything you can do to help?

Otherwise, I'd listen to your heart and if you're not feeling inspired and lifted by going to this church, then it's probably time to find a new home.

[prettyfaceANB]

I can only speak from my experience as a child on this one.

My mother, sisters, and I used to attend a small church in DC. For the most part I grew up in that church. My mother did not feel that we were getting into ministry as we should as we were becoming young ladies. So my cousins suggested my current church First Baptist Church of Glenarden which they attend as well. From the very first Sunday, we all joined the church it was so powerfully.

Of course she received opposition. The pastor did not like it at all. Small churches (not all) are very concerned with numbers. And my mother was removing 4 (herself, my 2 sis, and me). Less members, less money. Alot of people stop talking to her but she did what was best for herself and her childern. We moved to a big church (big churches are great but not all, a good portion are money hungry and prosperity gospel preaching ministries so be mindful) so there was hateration. People would rather see you stay where you are.

Thank God she did. I would not be where I am without the leadership of my church. Heck, my mother has come all long way in this church, I look up to her in alot of ways. You have to do what you believe God is speaking to you about. If you're doing it because you need more growth and you know you are not getting it, that may be an indication to leave but only you and God will know.

[PinkPebbles]

For me....my spirit was restless and frustrated. It seem as though my spirit became stagnant as if I was no longer growing spiritually.

My old pastor made a comment that once said..."A person can only take you as far as they have gone...."

With that being said, I thought the church shifted but in reality God shifted my spirit. My season ended there and I allowed God to lead me somewhere else:).

I believe God gift ministries with special gifts and anointing to help birth those (congregation) in fulfilling their purpose in life. That is why one maybe drawn to a particular church while others maybe drawn somewhere else.

[Laela]

I grew up in a small church, as well, and I can attest to what you're saying about members "not speaking to you" after you leave the church. I've always seen that as pure madness to stop speaking to someone who felt led to go to another brook! When you see this in the hearts of some saints you have to really pray for them.... If anything, they should be happy a sister or brother is getting the Word SOMEWHERE and not turning their backs on God.



I can only speak from my experience as a child on this one.

My mother, sisters, and I used to attend a small church in DC. For the most part I grew up in that church. My mother did not feel that we were getting into ministry as we should as we were becoming young ladies. So my cousins suggested my current church First Baptist Church of Glenarden which they attend as well. From the very first Sunday, we all joined the church it was so powerfully.

Of course she received opposition. The pastor did not like it at all. Small churches (not all) are very concerned with numbers. And my mother was removing 4 (herself, my 2 sis, and me). Less members, less money. Alot of people stop talking to her but she did what was best for herself and her childern. We moved to a big church (big churches are great but not all, a good portion are money hungry and prosperity gospel preaching ministries so be mindful) so there was hateration. People would rather see you stay where you are.

Thank God she did. I would not be where I am without the leadership of my church. Heck, my mother has come all long way in this church, I look up to her in alot of ways. You have to do what you believe God is speaking to you about. If you're doing it because you need more growth and you know you are not getting it, that may be an indication to leave but only you and God will know.

[neenzmj]

Thank you so much for your input, ladies. I guess I forgot to mention the most pertinent part of information and that is the fact that my husband (bless his heart) is a man with a "never give up" attitude. I love him dearly for that, but I think there can be a difference between "giving up" and knowing when it's time to move. With all that being said, I know that it is important for me in my role as a wife to be with my husband in whatever church we're a part of, and for that reason I have not left and gone elsewhere, otherwise I think I would have left years ago. On several occasions I have asked him at what point he would leave AND if he would consider leaving if it were affecting me adversely. His answer was "absolutely." Well, perhaps that time has come. I know I have to be in much prayer about it, though. In my opinion, when the Pastor is frustrated and continually threatening to leave, how much more can you expect from the members?

On a sidenote: I also offer this as an example to any single ladies wanting to know what it means to follow/submit to your husband. It's not always pleasant, but nonetheless, it is what God would have us to do. I'm trusting that there will be a blessing even in this uncomfortable act of obedience.

[Laela]

neenzmj,

It's sad to hear folks aren't happy or fulfilled by their church. Do you have an idea of what's really causing this? Are the members planning to do anything to fight these spirits of frustration and stagnation?..ie. fast to draw more people to the church, inspirational events..etc. We wrestle not against flesh....

If you really want to stay at the church and you know this is where God wants you to be, it would be good to consider fasting/praying about it maybe with other members.. just a thought. If God tells you to go..go.

It's a great time for you to hear from him!

I pray all goes well for you and your church.


your church home?

Ladies, I've been a member of a small church for 13 years now. During that period, the membership has dropped and their is a general spirit of frustration and at times, apathy. In his frustration, the Pastor has threatened to step down several times. It is difficult to continue being a part of a body that (at least by eyesight) appears to be falling apart. It is equally difficult to remain in a place where the head (the Pastor) is frustrated and threatening to walk away.

I know I can't walk by sight, but how long should one stay in this type of environment?

[prettyfaceANB]

Well, perhaps that time has come. I know I have to be in much prayer about it, though. In my opinion, when the Pastor is frustrated and continually threatening to leave, how much more can you expect from the members?

On a sidenote: I also offer this as an example to any single ladies wanting to know what it means to follow/submit to your husband. It's not always pleasant, but nonetheless, it is what God would have us to do. I'm trusting that there will be a blessing even in this uncomfortable act of obedience.
Love your sidenote.
I am sure would rather see you grow then stick with a stagnant church.
This comment about your pastor was the first thing that stuck out to me. Its hard to follow a shephard that wants to leave his flock. I hope you find the kind of church you are looking for.

[neenzmj]

prettyfaceANB:

EXACTLY (to the bolded text). I liken this to my marriage. I can't imagine how disheartened and discouraged I'd be if my husband were constantly telling me he was frustrated and wanted to leave.

Love your sidenote.
I am sure would rather see you grow then stick with a stagnant church.
This comment about your pastor was the first thing that stuck out to me. Its hard to follow a shephard that wants to leave his flock. I hope you find the kind of church you are looking for.