Caucasians vs AFrican American Church

[Beauty4Ashes]

I received the following in an email just a few minutes ago and my reaction isn't the typical one, so I want to see what you ladies think...

The Average Caucasian Church :

1. Service and Sunday School are over by 10:30 a.m.
2. All cars in the parking lot are either new or three years old.
3. The Pastor delegates his preaching and does not preach every Sunday or every service.
4. When the Pastor retires, theydon't have a problem retiring.
5. No one leaves the choir during the entire service.
6. There is only one choir
7. Choir rehearsal is only once a month, not every week.
8. There is children's church every Sunday, not once every six months.
9. There are 52-inch flat screen TV's posted in the sanctuary, which is where announcements are posted and
not read audibly.
10. No afternoon and night service.
11. You can't tell the pastor's car because everyone drives a nice car.
12. Women wear less jewelry because they know less means more.
13. Communion takes 30 minutes, not two hours.
14. Communion is packaged together and not served in four gold trays.
15. Babies are not passed around in church; they sit only with their parents.
16. MEN DRESS IN POLO AND DOCKERS.
17. Scriptures and bible verses are posted on the FLAT SCREENS IN THE SANCTUARY.
18. Caucasians know the difference between winter white and summer white.
19. Mothers feed their kids FRUIT, GRAINS, AND ANIMAL CRACKERS before service.
20. 80% of the congregation wears real furs in the winter and don't walk in service late to show them off.
21. IT TAKES TWO DEACONS TO COUNT $10,000+ in offering.
22. There's only one offering.
23. 95% of the congregation is married.

<FONT face=Arial size=4>
<FONT size=2>The

[Nefertiti0906]

Umm, it seems like this email is trying to portray "caucasian" churches as better than "african american" churches, in a condescending manner

It's not even funny :perplexed

[Rapunzel*]

i must say most of that is true:yep:
ive been to Caucasian churches and they were very similar
i like the praise and worship too, they jump a lot and like everyone else too
its a good workout lol:grin:
the preacher says all he has to say in 30-60 mins which is great because i have to be at work at 1:45 on sundays:lachen:

dont get me wrong i love a.a churches too
but when i visit Caucasian churches they dont stare so much at me like who is that:rolleyes:

[Beauty4Ashes]

The Average African-AmericanChurch


1 Service starts at 11 a.m., but 50% of the members arrive at 12:45 p.m.
2. All the cars in the parking lot have been freshly washed
3. The pastor doesn't come out until 45 minutes after service has started.
4. Only 30% of the choir is on time.
5. The choir discusses ten minutes over which song to sing.
6. The choir sings the song, but the musician doesn't know how to play it.
7. The parents whip the kids during worship.
8. The audience has to help the announcement clerk pronounce the words on the church bulletin.
9. Two of the church deacons have gold teeth or NO teeth!!!!!
10. The members socialize and speak during the tithes and offering.
11. When church is over, no one discusses the pastor's message: they just compliment each other's outfits
and hair.
12. Members pay $20, but stand there waiting for $18 in change back.
13. The single women give each other signals when a handsome guest minister is invited.
14. You find notes after church that say: 'That's not her hair,' 'Who is that baby daddy?' 'He need to sit down,'
'What you fix for dinner?' 'I know she ain't got that on,' 'Let me borrow $1 for offering'
15. It takes eight deacons two hours to count $400.
16. There is a slot on the tithe envelope marked 'Building Fund.'
17. That afternoon service is either: Choir Day, Usher Day, Or Men and Women's Day (don't forget Youth
Day, Education Day, Pastor's Aide Day, Hospitality Day, New Member Day, Church Anniversary Day, Pastor's Anniversary
Day, and Revival).
18. The Pastor's car has either a rag top or rims.
19. The women have on expensive heels, but have house shoes in their bags.
20. You see more than five people pass someone gum or a peppermint.
21. Someone will feed a baby Cheetos, sugar cookies, crackers, or vanilla wafers in the sanctuary.
22. Men will have on suits in the color of bright yellow, lime green, hot pink, sky blue, and candy apple red
with shoes to match.
23. People will have a $80 bible, but will have to look in the table of contents to find the text of the
pastor's message.

The great thing is that if you are familiar with any of these examples, then at least you are in
church......................God Bless You.

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

Hebrew 11:1

[Beauty4Ashes]

Umm, it seems like this email is trying to portray "caucasian" churches as better than "african american" churches, in a condescending manner

It's not even funny :perplexed


This is how I felt, can you see the description of both churches in my original post? The second half describing the african american church wasn't visible when I previewed the post...

[Rapunzel*]

I received the following in an email just a few minutes ago and my reaction isn't the typical one, so I want to see what you ladies think...

The Average Caucasian Church :

1. Service and Sunday School are over by 10:30 a.m.
2. All cars in the parking lot are either new or three years old.
3. The Pastor delegates his preaching and does not preach every Sunday or every service.
4. When the Pastor retires, theydon't have a problem retiring.
5. No one leaves the choir during the entire service.
6. There is only one choir
7. Choir rehearsal is only once a month, not every week.
8. There is children's church every Sunday, not once every six months.
9. There are 52-inch flat screen TV's posted in the sanctuary, which is where announcements are posted and
not read audibly.
10. No afternoon and night service.
11. You can't tell the pastor's car because everyone drives a nice car.
12. Women wear less jewelry because they know less means more.
13. Communion takes 30 minutes, not two hours.
14. Communion is packaged together and not served in four gold trays.
15. Babies are not passed around in church; they sit only with their parents.
16. MEN DRESS IN POLO AND DOCKERS.
17. Scriptures and bible verses are posted on the FLAT SCREENS IN THE SANCTUARY.
18. Caucasians know the difference between winter white and summer white.
19. Mothers feed their kids FRUIT, GRAINS, AND ANIMAL CRACKERS before service.
20. 80% of the congregation wears real furs in the winter and don't walk in service late to show them off.
21. IT TAKES TWO DEACONS TO COUNT $10,000+ in offering.
22. There's only one offering.
23. 95% of the congregation is married.




<FONT face=Arial size=4>
<FONT size=2>The
all the bolded is not or may not be true:nono:

[FoxyScholar]

Well, either I'm a good mood or this isn't the most horrible thing I've read to provoke a negative reaction or a combination of both....

I grew up in the (Black) church and will have life-long affection for it because there's such richness in it and it was the ONE PLACE where I saw Black men and women in leadership positions that I could talk to and touch directly and they could articulate and sing and speak and think critically and all that (Disclaimer: I'm not talking about a lot of the mess going on now, I'm talking about back in the day in my formative years when churches were more intact and not financially competitive to such an extent).

When I read the part about the Caucasian churches, I didn't read it as "better or worse", I simply read it as "different" (like Dr. Jeremiah Wright says) because all I knew (esp. back in the day) was the Black Church....

I think I can agree with this line: "The great thing is that if you are familiar with any of these examples, then at least you are in church...."

But let's explore this run-down real quick about the "Average African-American Church"

1 Service starts at 11 a.m., but 50% of the members arrive at 12:45 p.m.
AT MY OLD CHURCH, KINDA, BUT MY PRESENT CHURCH? NOPE!

2. All the cars in the parking lot have been freshly washed
MAMA ALWAYS SAID DON'T DRIVE A DIRTY CAR TO CHURCH! LOL!!!

3. The pastor doesn't come out until 45 minutes after service has started.
NAH... MAYBE 15 MINUTES OR SO TO PARTICIPATE IN PRAISE AND WORSHIP

4. Only 30% of the choir is on time. NOT AT MY PRESENT CHURCH BUT WHEN I SUNG IN THE CHOIR AT MY OLD CHURCH I WAS LATE EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE

5. The choir discusses ten minutes over which song to sing.
UM...:nono: WHAT'S THE CHOIR DIRECTOR FOR? DO YOUR JOB AND LEAD!

6. The choir sings the song, but the musician doesn't know how to play it.
ANY GOOD CHURCH MUSICIAN CAN PICK UP A SONG QUICK ENOUGH... PLUS, THE LORD DESERVES EXCELLENCE! PICK ANOTHER SONG OR ANOTHER MUSICIAN!

7. The parents whip the kids during worship.
I GOT PINCHED, NOT WHIPPED.

8. The audience has to help the announcement clerk pronounce the words on the church bulletin.
I HAVE DONE THIS IN MY MIND WITH OTHERS AND I USED TO DO CHURCH ANNOUNCEMENTS WHEN I WAS A TEENAGER.... HELP ONE ANOTHER!

9. Two of the church deacons have gold teeth or NO teeth!!!!!
ERR..AHH... :nono: GOLD WATCHES, MAYBE...BUT NOT TEETH

10. The members socialize and speak during the tithes and offering.
WHY NOT? GREET EACH OTHER WITH A HOLY KISS, THE BIBLE SAYS! BUT KEEP IT HOLLLAAAAAYYYYYY!

11. When church is over, no one discusses the pastor's message: they just compliment each other's outfits and hair.
NOTHING WRONG WITH GIVING COMPLIMENTS.

12. Members pay $20, but stand there waiting for $18 in change back.
I HAVE SEEN THIS HAPPEN...HILARIOUS!

13. The single women give each other signals when a handsome guest minister is invited.
I HAVE SEEN AND DONE THIS...DISCRETELY WITH A SISTERFRIEND...IT'S COMEDY, PEOPLE!

14. You find notes after church that say: 'That's not her hair,' 'Who is that baby daddy?' 'He need to sit down,' 'What you fix for dinner?' 'I know she ain't got that on,' 'Let me borrow $1 for offering'
NOT NOTES, BUT I HAVE THOUGHT SOME OF THESE THINGS IN MY MIND WHILE IN CHURCH BEFORE

15. It takes eight deacons two hours to count $400.
THIS IS FUNNY...AND MAYBE KINDA TRUE... AT SOME CHURCHES, THEY COUNT THE MONEY IN FRONT OF THE CONGREGATION!

16. There is a slot on the tithe envelope marked 'Building Fund.'
TRUE.

17. That afternoon service is either: Choir Day, Usher Day, Or Men and Women's Day (don't forget Youth Day, Education Day, Pastor's Aide Day, Hospitality Day, New Member Day, Church Anniversary Day, Pastor's Anniversary Day, and Revival).
TRUE

18. The Pastor's car has either a rag top or rims.
IF I HAD TO CHOOSE, PLEASE LET IT BE THE RAG TOP!

19. The women have on expensive heels, but have house shoes in their bags. YEP...MY FLATS (NOT HOUSE SHOES!) ARE IN THE CAR FOR AFTER SERVICE!

20. You see more than five people pass someone gum or a peppermint.
OH YEAH!:yep:

21. Someone will feed a baby Cheetos, sugar cookies, crackers, or vanilla wafers in the sanctuary.
YES AND I DO THINK IT IS TRIFLIN'!

22. Men will have on suits in the color of bright yellow, lime green, hot pink, sky blue, and candy apple red with shoes to match.
WE CALL THEM CRAYOLA COLORS FROM WHERE I'M FROM (DETROIT!) DON'T FORGET THEM MATCHIN' 'GATORS, NEITHER!

23. People will have a $80 bible, but will have to look in the table of contents to find the text of the pastor's message.
WHAT DOES AN $80 BIBLE LOOK LIKE?

[Rapunzel*]

The Average African-AmericanChurch


1 Service starts at 11 a.m., but 50% of the members arrive at 12:45 p.m.
2. All the cars in the parking lot have been freshly washed
3. The pastor doesn't come out until 45 minutes after service has started.
4. Only 30% of the choir is on time.
5. The choir discusses ten minutes over which song to sing.
6. The choir sings the song, but the musician doesn't know how to play it.
7. The parents whip the kids during worship.
8. The audience has to help the announcement clerk pronounce the words on the church bulletin.
9. Two of the church deacons have gold teeth or NO teeth!!!!!
10. The members socialize and speak during the tithes and offering.
11. When church is over, no one discusses the pastor's message: they just compliment each other's outfits
and hair.
12. Members pay $20, but stand there waiting for $18 in change back.
13. The single women give each other signals when a handsome guest minister is invited.:rolleyes:
14. You find notes after church that say: 'That's not her hair,' 'Who is that baby daddy?' 'He need to sit down,'
'What you fix for dinner?' 'I know she ain't got that on,' 'Let me borrow $1 for offering'
15. It takes eight deacons two hours to count $400. :look:
16. There is a slot on the tithe envelope marked 'Building Fund.'
17. That afternoon service is either: Choir Day, Usher Day, Or Men and Women's Day (don't forget Youth
Day, Education Day, Pastor's Aide Day, Hospitality Day, New Member Day, Church Anniversary Day, Pastor's Anniversary
Day, and Revival).
18. The Pastor's car has either a rag top or rims.
19. The women have on expensive heels, but have house shoes in their bags.
20. You see more than five people pass someone gum or a peppermint.
21. Someone will feed a baby Cheetos, sugar cookies, crackers, or vanilla wafers in the sanctuary.
22. Men will have on suits in the color of bright yellow, lime green, hot pink, sky blue, and candy apple red
with shoes to match.
23. People will have a $80 bible, but will have to look in the table of contents to find the text of the
pastor's message.

The great thing is that if you are familiar with any of these examples, then at least you are in
church......................God Bless You.

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

Hebrew 11:1


the bolded is not or may not be true

[Blossssom]

:giggle:

Sorry, I was attending a "Caucasian" church for a while, and I didn't see any of this...

What race was the person who sent you that email?

Omigod! I just read about the black church :nono:

I'm sure there are some white churches that fall into the first category; some black churches that fall into the second category; and I'm DAMN SURE there is a "vice versa" somewhere!

How awful... so who again is perpetrating the stereotypes (email sender)?

[Beauty4Ashes]

I'm not sure who the orignator of the email is, it's been forwarded so many times b/c "everyone" thinks it's funny...which is what bothers me,I guess*sigh*

I have to admit that many of these things happen in my own church, but they're not funny to me; to me the email portrays "us" as not knowing how to reverence or respect the House of God and if these statements are true, then it's certainly not anything to laugh about and something we should try to improve...

[Blossssom]

I'm not sure who the orignator of the email is, it's been forwarded so many times b/c "everyone" thinks it's funny...which is what bothers me,I guess*sigh*

I have to admit that many of these things happen in my own church, but they're not funny to me; to me the email portrays "us" as not knowing how to reverence or respect the House of God and if these statements are true, then it's certainly not anything to laugh about and something we should try to improve...

First off, I apologize (AGAIN) for giggling... this is a very serious Forum, and I need to learn how to behave.

In the end, SO WHAT if any of what was in that email is true about your church. Does Jesus care? DOUBTFUL.

Please remain focused on why you attend church: that is to worship your Lord and Savior... I truly hope you aren't taking either of those emails seriously.

Again, I apologize for the giggle.

[discobiscuits]

hmmm the average Caucasian church sounds like my church (except # 3 and #21)......uh yeah, weeeez black.

[Beauty4Ashes]

First off, I apologize (AGAIN) for giggling... this is a very serious Forum, and I need to learn how to behave.

In the end, SO WHAT if any of what was in that email is true about your church. Does Jesus care? DOUBTFUL.

Please remain focused on why you attend church: that is to worship your Lord and Savior... I truly hope you aren't taking either of those emails seriously.

Again, I apologize for the giggle.


Hey ma'am - don't apologize for giggling, the email was meant to be funny and sent in jest, it just bothered "me" and I wanted to know if I was alone in the way "I" felt. No, I'm not taking the email too seriously, it just made me think...

I just came from church and during service my friend handed me a piece of gum and I immediately thought of this email (didn't stop me from taking it and sticking it in my mouth though :look: )

[Moisture2608]

Very interesting!

[Glib Gurl]

Okay so for about a year I attended a Caucasian church in a wealthy area. I will bold everything that was true and comment as I see fit.

The Average Caucasian Church :

1. Service and Sunday School are over by 10:30 a.m. Not exactly - church didn't start to 11, but it was definitely finished in an hour
2. All cars in the parking lot are either new or three years old. yep, there were Benzos, BMWs, and Cadillacs all up and down the street.
3. The Pastor delegates his preaching and does not preach every Sunday or every service. Not true - we only have one preacher.
4. When the Pastor retires, theydon't have a problem retiring. Dunno.
5. No one leaves the choir during the entire service.
6. There is only one choir Okay so there isn't a "choir" - there is a worship band. But yeah, it's a bunch of different folks who trade off based on people's schedules.
7. Choir rehearsal is only once a month, not every week. Not true . . . they rehearse every week, which is why I don't participate anymore :look:
8. There is children's church every Sunday, not once every six months.
9. There are 52-inch flat screen TV's posted in the sanctuary, which is where announcements are posted and not read audibly. Nope. There is a large screen with scriptures and song verses, not announcements. They read announcements aloud.
10. No afternoon and night service.
11. You can't tell the pastor's car because everyone drives a nice car. Actually I don't think the pastor has a car - of if he does he doesn't drive it much. (Lives next door to the church.)
12. Women wear less jewelry because they know less means more.
13. Communion takes 30 minutes, not two hours. More like 15 minutes and they do it every week.
14. Communion is packaged together and not served in four gold trays. Nope. Instead it in baskets - and people walk up to take it (sort of like in Catholic church).
15. Babies are not passed around in church; they sit only with their parents.
16. MEN DRESS IN POLO AND DOCKERS.
17. Scriptures and bible verses are posted on the FLAT SCREENS IN THE SANCTUARY.
18. Caucasians know the difference between winter white and summer white.
19. Mothers feed their kids FRUIT, GRAINS, AND ANIMAL CRACKERS before service.
20. 80% of the congregation wears real furs in the winter and don't walk in service late to show them off. Um, no. These folks are rich, but I've never seen them wear furs to service.
21. IT TAKES TWO DEACONS TO COUNT $10,000+ in offering. They don't count the money during the service.
22. There's only one offering. Yes - and they don't even have a formal offering. They just quickly mention that there is a basket in the back of the church for your gifts.
23. 95% of the congregation is married. Yes, which is basically why I stopped going. Everyone - even the 20-somethings - are married and have young kids. There is no place for the single gal like me.

[Glib Gurl]

Okay, grew up in the black church. Will bold the things I have observed.


The Average African-AmericanChurch


1 Service starts at 11 a.m., but 50% of the members arrive at 12:45 p.m.
2. All the cars in the parking lot have been freshly washed
3. The pastor doesn't come out until 45 minutes after service has started. I *hate* that - unless you're preaching back-to-back services and need a few minutes to collect yourself, I don't see why you don't participate in the rest of the service with everyone else. :mad:
4. Only 30% of the choir is on time.
5. The choir discusses ten minutes over which song to sing.
6. The choir sings the song, but the musician doesn't know how to play it.
7. The parents whip the kids during worship.
8. The audience has to help the announcement clerk pronounce the words on the church bulletin.
9. Two of the church deacons have gold teeth or NO teeth!!!!!
10. The members socialize and speak during the tithes and offering.
11. When church is over, no one discusses the pastor's message: they just compliment each other's outfits and hair.
12. Members pay $20, but stand there waiting for $18 in change back.
13. The single women give each other signals when a handsome guest minister is invited.
14. You find notes after church that say: 'That's not her hair,' 'Who is that baby daddy?' 'He need to sit down,'
'What you fix for dinner?' 'I know she ain't got that on,' 'Let me borrow $1 for offering'
15. It takes eight deacons two hours to count $400.
16. There is a slot on the tithe envelope marked 'Building Fund.'
17. That afternoon service is either: Choir Day, Usher Day, Or Men and Women's Day (don't forget Youth
Day, Education Day, Pastor's Aide Day, Hospitality Day, New Member Day, Church Anniversary Day, Pastor's Anniversary
Day, and Revival).
18. The Pastor's car has either a rag top or rims.
19. The women have on expensive heels, but have house shoes in their bags.
20. You see more than five people pass someone gum or a peppermint.
21. Someone will feed a baby Cheetos, sugar cookies, crackers, or vanilla wafers in the sanctuary.
22. Men will have on suits in the color of bright yellow, lime green, hot pink, sky blue, and candy apple red
with shoes to match.
23. People will have a $80 bible, but will have to look in the table of contents to find the text of the
pastor's message.

The great thing is that if you are familiar with any of these examples, then at least you are in
church......................God Bless You.

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

Hebrew 11:1[/quote]