What does your pastor teach on DIVORCE???

[tffy2004]

I have two questions:

1. What denomination are you?
2. What does your pastor teach on the subject of Divorce, if he teaches on the subject?

[sassygirl2]

I am pentecostal and my pastor rarely speaks on divorce i remember a time i ask about the scriptures on divorce at homebiblestudy he basically beat all around the bush about the subject. He did say it was wrong but he didn't say that if one spouse cheated you can still have a divorce and marry again.

[FoxyScholar]

1. Non-denominational.

2. Divorce: in case of adultery, abuse (physical/mental/emotional), lack of provision (1 Timothy 5:8). The Bible says whom GOD put together, let no man put asunder (Mark 10:9). If such abuses are occurring, that would be an indication that God did not put them together and, therefore, is not applicable(?) under that scripture.

I hope I explained that accurately....

[gone_fishing]

I like Pentecostal and Baptist services but I'm really non-denominational. All that separatist doctine stuff kind of rubs me the wrong way. Some denominations think they have all the right answers and the "other christians" are doing all the wrong things.

Anyway, I found this article about it and this is pretty much what I've been told.

When discussing what the Bible says about divorce, it is important to keep in mind the words of Malachi 2:16, “I hate divorce says the Lord God.” Whatever grounds the Bible possibly gives for divorce, that does not mean God desires a divorce to occur in those instances. Rather than asking “is ______ a grounds for divorce,” often the question should be “is _______ grounds for forgiveness, restoration, and/or counseling?”

The Bible gives two clear grounds for divorce: (1) sexual immorality (Matthew 5:32; 19:9), and (2) abandonment by an unbeliever (1 Corinthians 7:15). Even in these two instances, though, divorce is not required or even encouraged. The most that can be said is that sexual immorality and abandonment are grounds (an allowance) for divorce. Confession, forgiveness, reconciliation, and restoration are always the first steps. Divorce should only be viewed as a last resort.

Are there any grounds for divorce beyond what the Bible explicitly says? Perhaps, but we do not presume upon the Word of God. It is very dangerous to go beyond what the Bible says (1 Corinthians 4:6). The most frequent additional grounds for divorce that people inquire about are: spousal abuse (emotional or physical), child abuse (emotional, physical, or sexual), addiction to pornography, drug / alcohol use, crime / imprisonment, and mismanagement of finances (such as through a gambling addiction). None of these can be claimed to be explicit Biblical grounds for a divorce.

That does not necessarily mean, though, that none of them are grounds for divorce which God would approve of. For example, we cannot imagine that it would be God’s desire for a wife to remain with a husband who physically abuses her and/or their children. In such an instance, the wife should definitely separate herself and the children from the abusive husband. However, even in such a situation, a time of separation with the goal of repentance and restoration should be the goal, not necessarily immediately beginning divorce proceedings. Please understand, by saying that the above are not Biblical grounds for divorce, we are definitely not saying that a man/woman whose spouse is engaging in such activities should remain in the situation. If there is any risk to self or children, separation is a good and appropriate step.

Another way to look at this issue is to differentiate between Biblical grounds for divorce and Biblical grounds for divorce and remarriage. Some interpret the two Biblical grounds for divorce mentioned above as the only grounds for remarriage after a divorce, but allow for divorce with no remarriage in other instances. While this is a plausible interpretation, it seems to come too close to presuming upon the Word of God. For more information, please read the following two articles:
http://www.gotquestions.org/divorce-remarriage.html (http://www.gotquestions.org/divorce-remarriage.html)
http://www.gotquestions.org/divorced-remarry.html (http://www.gotquestions.org/divorced-remarry.html)

In summary, what are the Biblical grounds for divorce? The answer is sexual immorality and abandonment. Are there additional grounds for divorce beyond these two? Possibly. Is divorce ever to be treated lightly or employed as the first recourse? Absolutely not. God is capable of changing and reforming any person. God is capable of healing and renewing any marriage. Divorce should only occur in instances of repeated and unrepentant heinous sin.

[Southernbella.]

My old church was Baptist.

My pastor never taught on it, but then again, he was divorced, so maybe he didn't feel like it was his place.

[gradygirl]

I'm pentecostal and my pastor was divorced many years ago. He caught his wife in the act and he stayed with her but she eventually left him and their 4 young children. He preaches against divorce but says their are exceptions like domestic violence. He said if a woman in the church comes to him about being beaten he could not tell her to stay because he would not stay with someone that was knocking him upside the head.

[tffy2004]

1. I don't claim a set :lachen: :sad:that was supposed to be funny...... Anyway I don't have a denomination. I believe in God and I trust his Holy Word-Holy Bible.

2. Right now I am not under a Preacher or Pastor so my hubby and I study the Bible on our own and have learned some interesting things. This is what we have learned what the Bible says on Divorce:

1st Reason For Divorce. But God grants a biblical divorce for only two reasons. The first one assumes both the husband and wife are non-Christians or both are Christians. The second one is about divorce between a Christian and a non-Christian. Jesus gives us the first one. He permits divorce for unchastity. The Greek word is PORNEIA. The word means more than just sexual activity between a man and a woman. The word refers to heterosexual and homosexual activity as well as incest and sex with an animal. It is an ugly word. Jesus is simply saying that God permits divorce if your spouse has violated the physical side of the relationship. If you divorce for any other reason, remarriage causes adultery.

2nd Reason For Divorce. The Bible says there are two reasons for which God permits divorce. He grants a biblical divorce if one spouse has committed PORNEIA. The second reason He grants a biblical divorce with the right to remarry is if a Christian is married to an unbeliever and the unbeliever wants the divorce,
. . . if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, let him not send her away. And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, let her not send her husband away . . . Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace. (NASB) 1 Corinthians. 7:12-15
One wife claimed that her husband left her emotionally; and therefore, she should be allowed to divorce him. In this situation, the Christian wife does not have the right to leave her spouse. Paul says the believer must remain with the hope that his/her spouse will come to Jesus - this is evangelism by your life (1 Cor. 7:16).

[calliope]

1. Non-denominational.

2. Divorce: in case of adultery, abuse (physical/mental/emotional), lack of provision (1 Timothy 5:8). The Bible says whom GOD put together, let no man put asunder (Mark 10:9). If such abuses are occurring, that would be an indication that God did not put them together and, therefore, is not applicable(?) under that scripture.

I hope I explained that accurately....

This is a beautiful explanation and the first time that I've ever looked at it that way.

[MrsHouston]

I'm a member of the Church of Christ

Matthew 19:9 affirms that one who divorces a companion, unless the divorce be for fornication, "committeth adultery." In the Bible, adultery is any voluntary cohabitation of a married person with any other than his lawful spouse. In other words, the person who enters this illicit union "keeps on committing adultery" each time he is sexually intimate with the new partner. In Matthew 5:32 Christ taught that "every one that putteth away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, maketh her an adulteress ... " She is not an adulteress simply because she has been put away, of course. But this divorced woman will likely marry again, and in so doing, she will be entering an adulterous union.

[luving me]

I'm Baptist. My former pastor taught us that divorce is wrong unless you're being abused. I divorced because my ex cheated and now I often wonder if I remarry will I be committing adultery? And now that my ex has remarried is he committing adultery or is his new wife?

[Caramela]

I'm a member of the Church of Christ

Matthew 19:9 affirms that one who divorces a companion, unless the divorce be for fornication, "committeth adultery." In the Bible, adultery is any voluntary cohabitation of a married person with any other than his lawful spouse. In other words, the person who enters this illicit union "keeps on committing adultery" each time he is sexually intimate with the new partner. In Matthew 5:32 Christ taught that "every one that putteth away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, maketh her an adulteress ... " She is not an adulteress simply because she has been put away, of course. But this divorced woman will likely marry again, and in so doing, she will be entering an adulterous union.

I am in agreeance. That is what we are taught also. Also a member of the Church of Christ.

[mzcris]

I am Non-denominational...and my Pastor teaches against it. He feels whatever you are going through...just stick together and work it out...:perplexed

Me on the other hand...I don't agree with sticking it out NO MATTER what! I believe in divorce...:yep:

[MrsHouston]

I'm Baptist. My former pastor taught us that divorce is wrong unless you're being abused. I divorced because my ex cheated and now I often wonder if I remarry will I be committing adultery? And now that my ex has remarried is he committing adultery or is his new wife?


The BIBLE teaches that that divorce is "allowable" for adultery. Of course God prefers reconciliation. You are the innocent party and allowed to remarry. HTH

[tffy2004]

I'm Baptist. My former pastor taught us that divorce is wrong unless you're being abused. I divorced because my ex cheated and now I often wonder if I remarry will I be committing adultery? And now that my ex has remarried is he committing adultery or is his new wife?


This is my understanding of what the scriptures say applied your situation(anyone is welcome to correct me if I'm wrong, I am still in the process of learning and understanding the word):

First off God Hates divorce but he does recognize it in your situation.

In your case since the husband committed adultery, you are free to leave the marriage and remarry or if you and he choose you two can marry again.

Your ex husband however isn't allowed to remarry because he is forever bound to you until you die, he said (I'm assuming) in his vows til death do we part. So if he remarrys, he and his new wife are adulterers living in sin until you die. Him, because he is bound to you, and her because she is married to a man that is bound to someone else. The only way God will forgive him and the new wife is if they repent for the adultery and stop, ie. dissolve the marriage.

As for you remarrying, you can do so but if he has been married before you need to check the circumstances for the reason of the divorce, or you could be committing adultery.

When there is a divorce for reasons God see's fit, abuse, adultery, or one of them not being a believer and they want to leave, then the person who committed the act of abuse or adultery, is bound to the spouse until he or she dies. The person that was abused or cheated on can remarry the spouse or they can marry someone else.

[tffy2004]

MrsHouston that baby is such an ANGEL!!!!!

[Bublnbrnsuga]

This is my understanding of what the scriptures say applied your situation(anyone is welcome to correct me if I'm wrong, I am still in the process of learning and understanding the word):

First off God Hates divorce but he does recognize it in your situation.

In your case since the husband committed adultery, you are free to leave the marriage and remarry or if you and he choose you two can marry again.

Your ex husband however isn't allowed to remarry because he is forever bound to you until you die, he said (I'm assuming) in his vows til death do we part. So if he remarrys, he and his new wife are adulterers living in sin until you die. Him, because he is bound to you, and her because she is married to a man that is bound to someone else. The only way God will forgive him and the new wife is if they repent for the adultery and stop, ie. dissolve the marriage.

As for you remarrying, you can do so but if he has been married before you need to check the circumstances for the reason of the divorce, or you could be committing adultery.

When there is a divorce for reasons God see's fit, abuse, adultery, or one of them not being a believer and they want to leave, then the person who committed the act of abuse or adultery, is bound to the spouse until he or she dies. The person that was abused or cheated on can remarry the spouse or they can marry someone else.


This is what I don't understand. So, the husband is still bound to his ex-wife in this case, even if she marries another man? Doesn't God forgive sin, including adultery? Would two wrongs make a right by divorcing again? God doesn't say specifically that if you are abused in the marriage that that's grounds for divorce, so what happens when the innocent party of the abusing situation remarries? Are they commiting adultery too? What happens when the offending party asks for forgiveness ( to their mate and God) and changes their ways, yet the offended party still pursues the divorce? If they remarry are they adulterers, too? There are MILLIONS of Christian people who have divorced over other issues not abandonment or adultery and have remarried. I just can't fathom God counting them out and not recognizing their new union, especially if they are growing in Christ together.

I went to some sites about this and this is what I found:

Question: "Is remarriage after divorce always adultery?"

Answer: Before we even begin to answer this question, let us reiterate, "God hates divorce" (Malachi 2:16). The pain, confusion, and frustration most people experience after a divorce are surely part of the reason that God hates divorce. Even more difficult, Biblically, than the question of divorce, is the question of remarriage. The vast majority of people who divorce either remarry, or consider getting remarried. What does the Bible say about this?

Matthew 19:9 tells us, "I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery." See also Matthew 5:32. These Scriptures clearly state that remarriage after a divorce is adultery - except in the instance of "marital unfaithfulness." In regards to this "exception clause" and its implications, please read the following articles:
What does the Bible say about divorce and remarriage?
I am divorced. Can I remarry?

It is our view that there are certain instances in which divorce and remarriage are permitted without the remarriage being considered adultery. These instances would include unrepentant adultery, physical abuse of spouse or children, and abandonment of a believing spouse by an unbelieving spouse. We are not saying that a person under such circumstances should remarry. The Bible definitely encourages remaining single or reconciliation over remarriage (1 Corinthians 7:11). At the same time, it is our view that God offers His mercy and grace to the innocent party in a divorce and allows that person to remarry without it being considered adultery.

A person who gets a divorce for a reason other than the reasons listed above, and then gets remarried – that person has committed adultery (Luke 16:18). The question then becomes, is this remarriage an "act" of adultery, or a "state" of adultery. The present tense of the Greek in Matthew 5:32; 19:9; and Luke 16:18 can indicate a continuous state of adultery. At the same time, the present tense in Greek does not always indicate continuous action. Sometimes it simply means that something occurred (Aoristic, Punctiliar, or Gnomic present). For example, the word "divorces" in Matthew 5:32 is present, but divorcing is not a continual action. It is our view that remarriage, no matter the circumstances, is not a continual state of adultery. Only the act of getting remarried itself is adultery.

In the Old Testament Law, the punishment for adultery was death (Leviticus 20:10). At the same time, Deuteronomy 24:1-4 mentions remarriage after a divorce, does not call it adultery, and does not demand the death penalty for the remarried spouse. The Bible explicitly says that God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16), but nowhere explicitly states that God hates remarriage. The Bible nowhere commands a remarried couple to divorce. Deuteronomy 24:1-4 does not describe the remarriage as invalid. Ending a remarriage through divorce would be just as sinful as ending a first marriage through divorce. Both would include the breaking of vows before God, between the couple, and in front of witnesses.

No matter the circumstances, once a couple is remarried, they should strive to live out their married lives in fidelity, in a God-honoring way, with Christ at the center. A marriage is a marriage. God does not view the new marriage as invalid or adulterous. A remarried couple should devote themselves to God, and to each other – and honor Him by making their new marriage a lasting and Christ-centered one (Ephesians 5:22-33).

[tffy2004]

This is what I don't understand. So, the husband is still bound to his ex-wife in this case, even if she marries another man? Doesn't God forgive sin, including adultery? Would two wrongs make a right by divorcing again? God doesn't say specifically that if you are abused in the marriage that that's grounds for divorce, so what happens when the innocent party of the abusing situation remarries? Are they commiting adultery too? What happens when the offending party asks for forgiveness ( to their mate and God) and changes their ways, yet the offended party still pursues the divorce? If they remarry are they adulterers, too? There are MILLIONS of Christian people who have divorced over other issues not abandonment or adultery and have remarried. I just can't fathom God counting them out and not recognizing their new union, especially if they are growing in Christ together.

I am answering the above questions with the what I got from the Bible. By the way these are some great questions!!

1. So, the husband is still bound to his ex-wife in this case, even if she marries another man?
Yes, He committed adultery and if the wife wants a divorce God will recognize it for her, not him he committed the sin.

2. Doesn't God forgive sin, including adultery?
Yes he does forgive adultery, but after we repent and are forgiven, the sin has to stop. Just like with premarital sex, a person can ask for forgiveness and be forgiven but they also have to stop having sex until they are married.

3. Would two wrongs make a right by divorcing again?
In this situation, I don't think God would even recognize the second marriage because according to God's law he is bound to his first wife.
How can he stay married to his new wife, and not do the things married people do? (Have sex=Adultery all over again=More repentance. If he stays in the relationship he and the wife would still be committing adultery, the husband is bound to that first wife until she dies.
So either he can stay legally married or legally divorce, either way he shouldn't be having sex with or in a relationship with anyone else.

4. God doesn't say specifically that if you are abused in the marriage that that's grounds for divorce, so what happens when the innocent party of the abusing situation remarries? Are they committing adultery too?
I don't know, but you are right on this one the scriptures don't speak on physical abuse, thank you for pointing that out.

5. What happens when the offending party asks for forgiveness ( to their mate and God) and changes their ways, yet the offended party still pursues the divorce? If they remarry are they adulterers, too?
If the person who cheats repents and changes their ways the only way to know that is if the two stick together and there is no more adultery. If the offended forgives the cheating spouse and still goes for divorce, then the spouse that was cheated on can remarry. If the spouse who cheated gets married again he or she is committing adultery because they are still by God's Law bound to their spouse. If they divorce and decide down the line they want to get married to each other again that is fine.

6. There are MILLIONS of Christian people who have divorced over other issues not abandonment or adultery and have remarried. I just can't fathom God counting them out and not recognizing their new union, especially if they are growing in Christ together.
If they are growing in Christ together that would indicate that they study their Bible and seek God in all matters. Whether we can fathom it or not God's Law is God's Law is God's Law and there is no changing it or making exceptions, we will be held accountable. We have the Bible and scriptures that say what the law is that Christians are to follow so, "I didn't know" isn't gonna get anyone a free pass not even Best of Christians. We have to read our word and consult God First in all we do. Hosea 4:6

[tffy2004]

Hey Bublnbrnsuga I found a site that gives specific examples which is what I needed to actually understand the scriptures in the bible about divorce. Here is the link: What the Bible Teach about Divorce (http://www.carm.org/questions/divorce.htm)

I haven't read them all but am about to.

[Bublnbrnsuga]

Hey Bublnbrnsuga I found a site that gives specific examples which is what I needed to actually understand the scriptures in the bible about divorce. Here is the link: What the Bible Teach about Divorce (http://www.carm.org/questions/divorce.htm)

I haven't read them all but am about to.

Arrggghhh! I just typed a response and it was deleted. Okay, here's my thought process:
I really think we need to be careful about telling some who may have remarried under circumstances that WE THINK could have been worked out that they may be in adultery bibically.
If I were a remarried woman who didn't divorce under the conditions of adultery or abandonment, but was determined to grow stronger in the Lord, someone telling me that I am adultery would put me in a whole lot of bondage. Heck, what's the point in serving God when you have been told you are going to hell for divorcing on 'non biblical' grounds?
I have read several accounts of people being placed in bondage, desiring to be remarried or are remarried to the point that they left church and Christianity.
The Bible tells us in 1 Timothy 4:1-3 that in the last days, men will forbid those to be married (remarriage is included in this). Also the Bible tells us it's better to marry than to burn with passion. So those who divorced not due to the two ex. in the Bible are not who the Bible speaks of in this scripture? They are excluded? Who would know the joys of sex more than a previously married person?

Tffy2004, I am not trying to make the Bible say what I want it to say at all. We really need to look at the deeper meanings of scripture before we cause someone to lose sight of who's important-Christ.

[MrsHouston]

In looking for bible answers, we must follow ONLY the bible and not our own "points of views". Remember, sometime as humans we do not always understand the ways of God...not his word, I mean his WAYS.

Example:
I can't fathom God allowing all those people in the days of Noah to drown who were outside the Ark, but I believe his word that it did happen and that God allowed it to happen and "only saved Noah's family because of their obedience to his word".

It is important for us to follow God's word, no matter what other's in the world are doing.

Also God does forgives sin...all repented sin. Example: If I kill someone and sincerely repent, God will forgive me...however there are consequences to sin like jail time...also if I want to stay "FORGIVEN" I can't continue to kill. That would be putting me back in the sinning position.

HTH, if not PM me.


This is what I don't understand. So, the husband is still bound to his ex-wife in this case, even if she marries another man? Doesn't God forgive sin, including adultery? Would two wrongs make a right by divorcing again? God doesn't say specifically that if you are abused in the marriage that that's grounds for divorce, so what happens when the innocent party of the abusing situation remarries? Are they commiting adultery too? What happens when the offending party asks for forgiveness ( to their mate and God) and changes their ways, yet the offended party still pursues the divorce? If they remarry are they adulterers, too? There are MILLIONS of Christian people who have divorced over other issues not abandonment or adultery and have remarried. I just can't fathom God counting them out and not recognizing their new union, especially if they are growing in Christ together.

I went to some sites about this and this is what I found:

Question: "Is remarriage after divorce always adultery?"

Answer: Before we even begin to answer this question, let us reiterate, "God hates divorce" (Malachi 2:16). The pain, confusion, and frustration most people experience after a divorce are surely part of the reason that God hates divorce. Even more difficult, Biblically, than the question of divorce, is the question of remarriage. The vast majority of people who divorce either remarry, or consider getting remarried. What does the Bible say about this?

Matthew 19:9 tells us, "I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery." See also Matthew 5:32. These Scriptures clearly state that remarriage after a divorce is adultery - except in the instance of "marital unfaithfulness." In regards to this "exception clause" and its implications, please read the following articles:
What does the Bible say about divorce and remarriage?
I am divorced. Can I remarry?

It is our view that there are certain instances in which divorce and remarriage are permitted without the remarriage being considered adultery. These instances would include unrepentant adultery, physical abuse of spouse or children, and abandonment of a believing spouse by an unbelieving spouse. We are not saying that a person under such circumstances should remarry. The Bible definitely encourages remaining single or reconciliation over remarriage (1 Corinthians 7:11). At the same time, it is our view that God offers His mercy and grace to the innocent party in a divorce and allows that person to remarry without it being considered adultery.

A person who gets a divorce for a reason other than the reasons listed above, and then gets remarried – that person has committed adultery (Luke 16:18). The question then becomes, is this remarriage an "act" of adultery, or a "state" of adultery. The present tense of the Greek in Matthew 5:32; 19:9; and Luke 16:18 can indicate a continuous state of adultery. At the same time, the present tense in Greek does not always indicate continuous action. Sometimes it simply means that something occurred (Aoristic, Punctiliar, or Gnomic present). For example, the word "divorces" in Matthew 5:32 is present, but divorcing is not a continual action. It is our view that remarriage, no matter the circumstances, is not a continual state of adultery. Only the act of getting remarried itself is adultery.

In the Old Testament Law, the punishment for adultery was death (Leviticus 20:10). At the same time, Deuteronomy 24:1-4 mentions remarriage after a divorce, does not call it adultery, and does not demand the death penalty for the remarried spouse. The Bible explicitly says that God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16), but nowhere explicitly states that God hates remarriage. The Bible nowhere commands a remarried couple to divorce. Deuteronomy 24:1-4 does not describe the remarriage as invalid. Ending a remarriage through divorce would be just as sinful as ending a first marriage through divorce. Both would include the breaking of vows before God, between the couple, and in front of witnesses.

No matter the circumstances, once a couple is remarried, they should strive to live out their married lives in fidelity, in a God-honoring way, with Christ at the center. A marriage is a marriage. God does not view the new marriage as invalid or adulterous. A remarried couple should devote themselves to God, and to each other – and honor Him by making their new marriage a lasting and Christ-centered one (Ephesians 5:22-33).