Holding Back The Tears

[Country gal]

Most of my life I have been petite with nice curves. The past two years I have been obese. Sadly, I weigh more now than I did when I was pregnant with my son. Yesterday, My little brother relayed a conversation my aunts were having regarding my weight. One of my aunts was saying I need to reconize that I am not a size fourteen and in fact should be wearing size 22. My brother tried to defend me by saying that I was not a size 22 but my aunt was ruthless. She said she was a size 14 and that my hips and thighs were bigger than hers. She was like you know your sister has a gut. She said everyone knows I'm big and that I know I am big. I just don't see why people have to be so obsessed with other people's weight problems. Her comments were not coming from a place of love or concern. I have been working out and have noticed that I am toning. In fact I have been able to fit in some size 12 pants that I recently bought. I just don't understand why my family has to be so negative and un supportive. It is a shame I have to come to this board for support. I just feel like it doesn't matter that I have a B.A. and a good paying job. All that matters is I am fat and family & people are not willing to look past that.

[pebbles]

Sbaker,

Please don't be sad. Your aunt is really inconsiderate. /forums/images/graemlins/mad.gif Please don't give her a second thought, she's not worth it. I have an aunt like that. I know what you are going through. I gained over 50lbs when I was pregnant with my first son. It took me years to get back to where I was before, (of course, I wasn't trying very hard), but it can be done.

Don't despair. Just keep eating right and working out like you're doing, and your aunt will have to eat her words in no time. You'll find that when you need support the most, some family members will choose that time to tap dance all over your feelings. Ignore them and look for support from the ones who will be understanding. Remember you always have us here on this board! /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif Page me if you need some more cheering up. /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif

[Country gal]

Thanks. I just needed to vent. I just need to make them eat their words and work out my frustration. The comments just struck a chord because I am already insecure about my size. Thank you for your posistive words.

[pebbles]

You're welcome girl!! Don't let her get to you. /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif

[Tonya]

Don't feel bad girl! We are in the same boat. I just had a baby...well not just had...btu I had a baby last year and I went from a 6/8 to a 10/12 and my family always calls me fat...every chnce they get! Even though I am tall they still consider me fat ebcause i ma not as small as they are...u know how Monique says "Skinny women are evil"? Well this is not all they way true but sometimes...if a perosn has never had to struggle with fluctuating weight then they do not knwo how hard ti si to be a size 6!!! But girl u know as well as I do ...Big is just as beautiful as small if not "more" beautiful...as they say the more the merrier...It is what is on the inside that counts anyway! I am sure you are still beautiful no matter what size you are:-) so smile and hold your head up! We are here for you! /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

[Robin41]

It never ceases to amaze me how rude some people can be, especially about weight. The same thing happens to me when I go back to my hometown because I was always rail thin when I was growing up and now I, like you, weigh more than I did when I was pregnant 20 years ago.

The last time I went home I went to a fair and saw a lot of people I hadn't seen in years and some of them were like, OMG, you got SOOOOOOO big! Mind you, I'm a size 12-14, but they were used to seeing me years ago as a stick figure. Now, I make no excuses, I know full well that there's no good reason for my a$$ to be as big as it is. But isn't that my business?

It simply blows my mind how a thought can leave the brain and come out of the mouth so quickly without a moment's hesitation. It's just rude and inexcusable. You just have to push on with what you're doing and whether you lose weight or not, it's nobody's business but yours.

[daviine]

Girl, don't worry about your aunts and make sure you give your brother a hug for letting you know who's on your side and who isn't and for trying to defend you. Brothers (at least mine does) show love in their own ways.

We're behind you girl!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
daviine

[Supergirl]

Your Freakin' Aunt doesn't know! Even if she thinks your hips are bigger, 2 people can still wear the same size and appear different because chances are her body is bigger somewhere that yours is smaller. Girl, I've gained alot in the past year and have never had kids /forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif Keep your head up!

[Tracy]

sbaker,

it took me a long time to post on this thread, because while you were strong enough to hold back your tears for you, I was not. Your post really touched my heart.

I have struggled with my wieght all of my life and have developed health problems because of how much of a failure and a nobody being heavy made me feel. People and their comments and insensitivity contributed to this greatly.

I commend you for being strong and together enough to, even in your dismay, come here and do something productive with that negativity. Never let someone else's opinion of you change what you know about yourself. Whether 300 lbs or 130 you are a queen. Never let anyone make you believe anything different INSIDE. You have 100% control over what you believe and who you are. Never allow someone else to impose their narrow minded vision for your life and your persona onto your psyche.

You are beautiful...No matter what they say...words can't bring you down... ~Christina Aguilera.

Keep your head up mamita.

[Country gal]

Tracey,

Thank you for your words of wisdom. Now please listen to your own advice for the other thread you started regarding the BF/Club situation. You are absolutely right when you say we have the power to control our emotions and thoughts. Since posting this thread last week, I have been surrounding myself with positive people. I read a quote recently that basically stated that it is not where you begin but how you end up. We have the power to change our lives for the better. Please don't look to others for your happiness because you will be disappointed every time.
Keep your head because your are phenominal woman.