Unequally Yoked (kinda long)

[InJesusName]

I am starting this thread basically as an admonition to those who are Christian and are looking for a mate. Maybe I am also looking for some encouragement. I grew up in the church ALL my life and have heard countless times "Do not be unequally yoked with non-believers". Well, after leaving the church for several years and then being restored, I took this to heart. I stayed on the straight and narrow after getting back into church. I did not even date for the first two years after I returned, then when I did...I honored God with my body.

By this time I was not into casual dating, but hoping God would lead me to my husband. I met a man that believed as I did and honored my beliefs about celibacy until marriage (which is rare even in the church!!!). He was nice enough and loved the Lord but did not have some of the outside things that were important to me (college education, financial stability, healthy body, etc.) In fact, it was very rare for me to find anyone that was TRULY in church that had these things. Before I got restored, I dated a man that had all the "frivilous" qualities I wanted, but he wasn't saved, so I broke up with him so as to not be unequally yoked. When I talked to some "respected veterans" in the church about some of my issues, they assured me that God was going to work everything out, and sometimes who GOD has for us and who we want are different.

So....I married the saved guy, but it has been HARD. It is like the only area that we even see eye to eye is church which is so disheartening. When the Bible speaks of being equally yoked, doesn't that extend beyond just being saved? I pray every day that God will give me the wisdom to address the many issues we have in a Godly and tactful way (saying nothing at all has been working best lately), and I will ALWAYS honor my marriage vows until death do us part, but I wish I had considered this instead of just listening to the church folks.

My advice...don't settle and don't rush.

[Shimmie]

Hello Sweetheart ... Your advise is well heeded and much needed. We must always seek God, if 'this is the one.' Thank you for your open heart to share a testimony so vital.

I cannot profess to know the future, for only God beholds this. Yet, these things came into my heart as I read your post...

* In whom I am well pleased...
* He is faithful that Promised...
* He has made all things beautiful in His time
* He is a 'rewarder' of those who faithfully seek Him

Hebrews 4:11 -- For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin.

Galatians 4:6 -- And because ye are sons, God hath sent forth the Spirit of his Son into your hearts, crying, Abba, Father.

"InJesusName" - Sweetheart, God hears and sees your heart. You been faithful and God is well-pleased. He is faithful that promised to bless you. For each dissappointment, He is making beautiful in His time. He is rewarding you for you have faithfully sought Him.

I believe He's doing this 'for you'... (from Philiapians 2:1,2)

Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ,
if there is any consolation of love,
if there is any fellowship of the Spirit,
if any affection and compassion,

Make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose.

Don't you love it? The words in this scripture, "Make my joy complete"... God's word is so faithful and on time. For this, I believe God is doing for you and it struck me as so when I read these following words of yours...

and I will ALWAYS honor my marriage vows until death do us part.

A happy marriage is my prayer. This and more, for you and your husband whom I believe is being delivered from a spirit of bondage. In Jesus' Name... Amen. ;)

You carry the screen name that seals it... :yep:

[firecracker]

Wow your last statement says it all. Be blessed and allow God to do his work.

[InJesusName]

Thanks for your prayers ladies. We will continue striving and growing in God together. I wrote those scriptures down Shimmie. Considered that added to my daily devotional!!!:D

[Shimmie]

Thanks for your prayers ladies. We will continue striving and growing in God together. I wrote those scriptures down Shimmie. Considered that added to my daily devotional!!!:D

For you, dear heart... :kiss: Your post still moves me. I admire you. Here are some stories to 'ponder'...

True Story:

There was a sports event for a group of 'Special Needs' children. They were in a race. As the children were running, one of them fell down. The others, instead of continuing to run for the 'prize', all ran back to the child who fell. They helped him up and they finished the race together.

Another story:

Two people were exchanging the difference between heaven and hell. In hell, there was a large, expansive banquet table filled with a huge assortment of elegant foods and delights.

The devil instructed, 'You can eat any and everything of this that you wish. Only you must use the forks that I provide. Of course, being satan there was a devious plot. The forks had long 3 foot handles and made it impossible for anyone to eat of the foods. No one ate in hell.

In Heaven, a beautiful array of foods and delights were presented in a large banquet display. However, the same 3 foot forks were the only eating untensils that the people had available to use. Yet they were able to eat anyway. Now, how was that?

The person describing Heaven replied, "We fed each other." ;)

InJesusName, You are Gods' gift to your husband. I truly believe that as much as you were praying for him, he (your husband) was asking God for someone like you. It is YOU who has become the answer to your husband's prayers. You are the treasure taht he has longed for. The one who would never leave him nor forsake him. The one who would say as you did,


and I will ALWAYS honor my marriage vows until death do us part

So though he falls, you have what it takes to pick him back up. For a good man will fall seven times...yet will he arise for as his Virtuous wife, you strengthen him. And so gently, you feed him...the loving nurture of the woman he prayed for and God so gave...him you.

Jesus said...'feed my sheep.." So you are doing with your husband, a banquet table of your love... ;)

[cocoberry10]

My pastor recently did a sermon on unequal yoking (in reference to friendships and relationships).

He said to yoke referred to oxen (in biblical times). Oxen were yoked together (tied together) by large planks of wood (I think they were called yokes). Anyway, when the oxen would be pulled, they would all go the same way, b/c they were tied together. Likewise, when we associate with people, we tend to be "tied" together with them. So, if you are unequally yoked (for example), when God tries to pull you in a specific direction or bring you to something, you may struggle to go, b/c you are being pulled in another direction. Hope this doesn't confuse anyone.

In terms of your situation, I am not married, but will give some bible verses that may be appropriate. I will also post these in the daily bible verses thread!

1 Corinthians 15:33
33 Do not be misled: "Bad company corrupts good character."

Colossians 1:9
9 For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding.

Psalm 145:8-9
8 The LORD is gracious and compassionate,
slow to anger and rich in love.

9 The LORD is good to all;
he has compassion on all he has made.

Psalm 46:1
God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble

1 John 4:7
7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God

Proverbs 18:24

24 A man of many companions may come to ruin,
but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Proverbs 22:24-25
24 Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered, 25 or you may learn his ways and get yourself ensnared.

Psalm 86:12
12 I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify your name forever.

[fivefoursweetie]

InJesusName, I want to thank you for posting this!!!
I am single and am believing that God will bring me my husband in His due season. It's amazing to me who many people think that I am being "unrealistic". People have told me that I need to date, and find a man. They say that I will never get what I am looking for and that I "will be single for the rest of my life". It is sometimes hard to tune everyone out and hold steadfast to what you feel God has led you to do! Your post was such an encouragement that I need to remeber that it is God who lights my path; not man and that I need to continue to trust in Him and lean not to my own understanding.
God is not a man that He should lie, and He makes good on His promises. He WILL honor your commitment to your husband and will honor you for seeking Him even in this. Cast your cares on Him because he cares!!!! God is mighty enough to turn your marriage around!!! Just stand firm on His word!!!
Be Blessed.

[Supergirl]

IJN,

Thank you for being so transparent and sharing this. You have kept it real in that sometimes church-folk can stear us wrong. It all boils down to how we, as an individual, are being led.

With that said, I believe that because you have used your "mess" to share and send a "message" to others--the Lord will bless you and your marriage. In fact, let's believe that He already has and we'll just wait on the manifestation of it!

[rocky]

INJ,
I am married so I think I understand the frustrations involved when husbands and wives work to become one. It isn’t always easy and it’s ongoing. You have mentioned what’s wrong with your husband. But since you plan to stay married focus on what’s right with him. Let God worry about your husband and let God work on you. Girl, I have been there, I’m not looking down on you, I’m just sharing what changed my marriage for the better.

Read Stormie Omartian’s The Power of a Praying Wife. Please stay on the first chapter about His Wife until you are truly ready to let God have your husband. Please read Bunny Wilson and Joyce Meyer on the subject of letting God “fix” your husband. If your husband is truly trying to serve the Lord, God will mold him into the man He wants him to be. But in the meanwhile, you need to focus on letting God mold you into the wife He intends for him.

1 Peter 3:5,6
For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.

[InJesusName]

I am so adding these books to my library. One thing that I have learned is it is better to talk to God about the issues than addressing it with the man.

[HWAY]

INJ,
I am married so I think I understand the frustrations involved when husbands and wives work to become one. It isn’t always easy and it’s ongoing. You have mentioned what’s wrong with your husband. But since you plan to stay married focus on what’s right with him. Let God worry about your husband and let God work on you. Girl, I have been there, I’m not looking down on you, I’m just sharing what changed my marriage for the better.

Read Stormie Omartian’s The Power of a Praying Wife. Please stay on the first chapter about His Wife until you are truly ready to let God have your husband. Please read Bunny Wilson and Joyce Meyer on the subject of letting God “fix” your husband. If your husband is truly trying to serve the Lord, God will mold him into the man He wants him to be. But in the meanwhile, you need to focus on letting God mold you into the wife He intends for him.

1 Peter 3:5,6
For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
rocky, I liked your response. I've been married for 5 years. It became rocky during the second and did not improve until the fourth. One thing I concentrated on was praying to God to help me be a better wife and a God-fearing woman. This helped to let go of the anger I held onto. It also helped me be more in submission. I focused on my husband's good qualities and we started spending time together like when we courted. My marriage is stronger because I appreciate my husband more and love him more. Marriage is hard work but the most important thing is is to work hard at its success and be the best wife you can be.

[Southernbella.]

Wow. That's a hard one. I sense from your post that you have some regret.

I do believe God means "do not be unequally yoked" in regards to the spiritual and the practical. I'm sorry you felt pressured by the people around you.

I think you have been given good suggestions. I also wanted to add that communication is not a bad thing. Let God lead you about when to talk to your husband. God will give him an ear to hear. I've found that my conversations with my husband have been VERY productive when I allowed myself to be led.