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OVERCOMING FALSE ACCUSATIONS OR BEING A VICTIM OF VICIOUS RUMORS

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Posted 01-05-2010 at 09:22 PM by Nice Lady
Updated 11-23-2012 at 01:32 AM by Nice Lady

Hay guys! This is the first week of the year and I am determined to overcome every problem. I am taking the first step by writing this blog to possibly help anyone else dealing with a similar situation and personally complete the circle of forgiveness.

For the past three years, I have been falsely accused of trying to seduce a woman's husband in the church. This man happens to be a pastor, very well-known that if I dropped his name everyone would know or heard of him. I don't think that would be in my best interests.

ON NO OCCASION HAVE I EVER TRIED TO SEDUCE HIM OR COMMIT ADULTERY WITH THIS MAN. I have never tried to talk to him alone or flirt with him. I personally don't find him attractive at all and I don't particularly even like his personality. I personally went to the church because I realized that this man was vastly successful and I wanted God to bring about the same results in my life through my human personality. An older woman in the church started this vicious rumor and took personal adoration for this man and said that I was coming to church to seduce him. Since this time, I have had the wife give me nasty looks and others snicker about me (i.e., older bitter women). So, I have kept my distance and even taken off time from going to church to escape their judgment. However, I clearly got bold and addressed this situation, then the rumors in the church turned to that I was coming to church to get a man and didn't have pure motives.

Last November, I worked at the same place with a woman that unknowingly attended the same church with me and personally knew the pastor's family. This woman attempted to befriend me but I got bad vibes; so, I refused to interact with her. This woman would follow me to the bathroom and other co-workers found that she was a bit obsessed with me. This woman reported back to the pastor and his family that I hang out with married men on the job and I that I was not living right. She also told them personal details of my life by eavesdropping on my conversations with others. However, God worked in my favor and she was fired for poor performance. More comments and snide remarks were made that I was after married men and I was going to hell. HOWEVER,

Recently, at the beginning of this year, I personally confronted this situation and they realized that I wasn't doing what I had been accused of.

SOME OF THE THINGS THAT I LEARNED FROM THE SITUATION COMBINED WITH INFORMATION FROM THE YAHOO VOICES! BLOG BY REBECCA LIVERMORE CALLED "HOW TO RESPOND TO FALSE ACCUSATIONS":

1. Refusal to run away from the situation: "Although false accusations make it possible for your reputation to be tarnished for a short period of time, continuing to do the right thing will, in the long run, allow the strength of your character to shine." My refusal to run demonstrated that I actually was there for the right reasons. I stood two Scriptures and confessed them daily: (a) Isaiah 54:17 NIV: "no weapon forged against you will prevail, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and this is heir vindication from me," declares the LORD.
(b) Luke 10:19: I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you

2. Repay good for evil: It was hard but I was determined to follow the Word of God: ""Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. . . if your enemy is hungry, feed him; If he is thirsty, give him a drink; For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."" This helped me from "stooping" to this person's "level" and cursing out people that made snide remarks to my face.

3. Forgiveness/Letting It Go: This was the hardest part. I didn't forgive them at all and was angry. "We can stew about the false accusations against us, or we can let them go. If you stew about it, you are in essence giving the accuser a certain amount of control over you. In contrast, if you let it go, you'll experience freedom and be able to enjoy the good things in your life, free (or at least almost free!) from the sting of false accusations." This allowed God to bring healing and restoration to me and resolve the issue. As long as I determined in my heart to remain rigidly angry, it permitted me to suffer from deep depression that I had never experienced.

4. Dumb people come to church: The devil will use Christians to hurt other Christians especially the ones that are genuinely pursuing God with their whole hearts. The devil is determined to find ways to prevent us from attending church. Psalm 92:13: "those who are planted in the house of the Lord shall flourish in the courts of our God."

*I BELIEVE IN NOT CHANGING ANY ARTICLE IN REFLECTION OF IDEAS EXCEPT FOR GRAMMATICAL MISTAKES ESPECIALLY IF YEARS HAVE ELAPSED. HOWEVER, I NEEDED TO ADD THE SOURCE. I REALLY WONDER WHY THIS ARTICLE HAS GONE FROM 298 VIEWS TO 940 VIEWS. AMAZING!?! NEVER WAS MEANT TO BE THIS BIG EVER. DEFINITELY NOT MY INTENTIONS OR DESIRE.*

09/13/2012: At the time, I was too nice and not trying to throw the woman in the story under the bus, but most of the information, she conveyed were lies. I slightly mentioned in this blog shortly thereafter: http://www.longhaircareforum.com/blog.php?b=15720.
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Total Comments 18

Comments

  1. Old Comment
    phynestone's Avatar
    It happens to the best of us. I'm sorry you had to deal with this situation, but you grew in many ways.
    Posted 01-05-2010 at 09:28 PM by phynestone phynestone is offline
  2. Old Comment
    la mosca's Avatar
    This is a wonderful, inspirational post. Thank you, and God bless you!
    Posted 01-05-2010 at 09:35 PM by la mosca la mosca is offline
  3. Old Comment
    Prudent1's Avatar
    Awesome post!!
    Posted 01-05-2010 at 09:44 PM by Prudent1 Prudent1 is offline
  4. Old Comment
    i like that....
    Posted 01-05-2010 at 09:44 PM by tiara76 tiara76 is offline
  5. Old Comment
    Sad because you got going on you must be up to no good..I wish black women in the church the ones with no life and all they busy them selves with it the church would get a life and something to hold at night..utter foolishness
    Posted 01-05-2010 at 09:46 PM by LifeafterLHCF LifeafterLHCF is offline
  6. Old Comment
    Nice Lady's Avatar
    Thanks guys for commenting, I just want to help anyone that is undergoing false accusations--it could be from classmates, friends or employees.
    Posted 01-05-2010 at 09:46 PM by Nice Lady Nice Lady is offline
  7. Old Comment
    donna894's Avatar
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Nice Lady View Comment
    Thanks guys for commenting, I just want to help anyone that is undergoing false accusations--it could be from classmates, friends or employees.
    I've had similar experiences. And your advice is excellent. Thanks for posting this.
    Posted 01-05-2010 at 09:56 PM by donna894 donna894 is offline
  8. Old Comment
    PJaye's Avatar
    A very similar situation happened to a good friend of mine a while back. They drove that poor girl to tears so often that I threatened to come down there and give them a severe beating with their faded MLK fans. After about a year of that nonsense, she left and joined another church. Same thing happened; they accused her of coming to church for the men. Fast forward twelve years later, she's an atheist and refuses to enter a church, not even for weddings and funerals.
    Posted 01-05-2010 at 10:07 PM by PJaye PJaye is offline
  9. Old Comment
    Nice Lady's Avatar
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by PJaye View Comment
    A very similar situation happened to a good friend of mine a while back. They drove that poor girl to tears so often that I threatened to come down there and give them a severe beating with their faded MLK fans. After about a year of that nonsense, she left and joined another church. Same thing happened; they accused her of coming to church for the men. Fast forward twelve years later, she's an atheist and refuses to enter a church, not even for weddings and funerals.
    That is so horrible...That's why I say don't run because I feel like the same problem will follow you no matter where you go.....
    Posted 01-05-2010 at 10:09 PM by Nice Lady Nice Lady is offline
  10. Old Comment
    PJaye's Avatar
    You definitely have a very valid point with regard to staying-and-dealing, rather than running away. I admire the courage and maturity you displayed in dealing with your situation. Kudos to you.
    __________________________________________________ _____________
    Thanks...
    Posted 01-05-2010 at 10:13 PM by PJaye PJaye is offline
    Updated 01-05-2010 at 10:28 PM by Nice Lady
  11. Old Comment
    Awesome posts and very valid points. But I if this nonsense keeps up I would definately have a talk with this lady at work to stay out of my business. And the next time she tries to talk to you. I would just start a random conversation as to Ummm don't you hate when people say nasty things about you and they don't know you. YOU know people like that (smile)
    Posted 01-05-2010 at 10:22 PM by Almaz Almaz is offline
  12. Old Comment
    Its not a Christians thing. People hurt people period
    _____________________________________________
    [I]ITA. I never even thought of that but you are right--unhappy people intentional hurt others.[/I]
    Posted 01-05-2010 at 10:23 PM by Almaz Almaz is offline
    Updated 01-05-2010 at 10:28 PM by Nice Lady
  13. Old Comment
    Quote:
    ITA. I never even thought of that but you are right--unhappy people intentional hurt others.
    I need to remember that.
    Great post!
    Posted 01-06-2010 at 01:01 AM by blupeace blupeace is offline
  14. Old Comment
    Honeytips's Avatar
    Thanks for the blog. Glad that you were able to stand your ground and make them see that the things said against you were nothing but vile lies.
    Posted 01-06-2010 at 01:50 AM by Honeytips Honeytips is offline
  15. Old Comment
    remnant's Avatar
    Thank you for tour testimony and advices, be blessed.
    Posted 01-06-2010 at 02:53 AM by remnant remnant is offline
  16. Old Comment
    I admire your courage and strength in this situation. As I was reading your testimony, I put myself in your situation. All I could do was [I]stick my head in the sand[/I]. I love those scriptures you mentioned though. Those same words have comforted me in my darkest times. I pray God continue to strengthen you. I think you are very brave for even mentioning this.
    Posted 01-06-2010 at 03:11 AM by Anonymous53 Anonymous53 is offline
  17. Old Comment
    Wonderful Post.
    Posted 01-06-2010 at 08:50 AM by Highly Favored8 Highly Favored8 is offline
  18. Old Comment
    Nice Lady's Avatar
    Thanks to everyone for the warm responses.
    Posted 01-06-2010 at 05:36 PM by Nice Lady Nice Lady is offline
 


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