Femininity & Sensuality and Taking it Back: My Creed --What's Yours?

[LittleGoldenLamb]

Nice thread, ladies. Thank you.

[Shimmie]

Very good... :up: :yep: :up:

[Laela]

This is good stuff! Thank you. I'll share w/ my nieces. There is nothing more disappointing than seeing a woman/young lady dressed nicely, great makeup and she has the mouth of a Sailor.... :nono:

ITA being feminine is a real balancing act...

These two right here are on point!


5. It requires discipline. Keeping your life as stress-free as possible; building healthy relationships; staying emotionally healthy; keeping up one’s hair, nails, clothes however you choose wear them; staying fit and healthy; finding a workout that works for you; preparing nutritious food and not relying on fast food; learning make-up techniques to enhance oneself and so forth takes due diligence and yes they are NECESSARY and have VALUE (because you do!). It doesn’t have to be a misery and won’t be, when everything you do is an extension of the inner balance and connection to your feminine self.



9. Please don’t confuse sexy/hotness/flirting/being a coquette with being feminine. You can have a powerful, reserved femininity, a bubbly femininity, a bright, forceful femininity etc. You may choose to indulge in fishnets short hemlines, seven-inch heels, and plunging necklines, if you wish. They are ABSOLUTELY NOT required.


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[Guitarhero]

I agree with much of it if it relates to inner feminine qualities - not outer nor "expected" ones. To me, G-d is also feminine and demonstrates those qualities, so it's definitely spiritual imho. How one demonstrates outer femininity depends upon how they were raised and in which cultural values. They all do not look alike, which you have mentioned. But I'm wondering about using the term "sensual" because of the common definition of it:

sen·su·al (snsh-l)
adj.
1. Relating to or affecting any of the senses or a sense organ; sensory.
2.
a. Of, relating to, given to, or providing gratification of the physical and especially the sexual appetites. See Synonyms at sensuous.
b. Suggesting sexuality; voluptuous.
c. Physical rather than spiritual or intellectual.
d. Lacking in moral or spiritual interests; worldly.


To me, it's the same as "sexy."

[Shimmie]

This is good stuff! Thank you. I'll share w/ my nieces. There is nothing more disappointing than seeing a woman/young lady dressed nicely, great makeup and she has the mouth of a Sailor.... :nono:

ITA being feminine is a real balancing act...

These two right here are on point!

These days, most of these women and young girls talk worse than a sailor; and they are proud of it; no conviction whatsoever. :nono:

[LittleGoldenLamb]

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[nicola.kirwan]

5. It requires discipline. Keeping your life as stress-free as possible; building healthy relationships; staying emotionally healthy; keeping up one’s hair, nails, clothes however you choose wear them; staying fit and healthy; finding a workout that works for you; preparing nutritious food and not relying on fast food; learning make-up techniques to enhance oneself and so forth takes due diligence and yes they are NECESSARY and have VALUE (because you do!). It doesn’t have to be a misery and won’t be, when everything you do is an extension of the inner balance and connection to your feminine self.




ITA. And with respect to the purple, I think we have generally accepted a level of stress that is waaay too high and unncecssary. Sometimes situations cause it, particularly with respect to health and family members. But we also make choices that compromise our ability to adequately care for ourselves and those around us. I believe that a large part of femininity is about the space in which one exists; inside and outside there should be peace and beauty. If I'm constantly harried, running to and fro, then there will never be any time to develop that space.

I think a feminine woman lives in a "space" (which is physical, but which trascends the physical to include the spiritual and emotional) that is warm, inviting, nurturing, and peaceful.

[Guitarhero]

Go with the first bolded meaning for the context of this conversation. :yep:

It's all semantics, in a sense.

These are the words I'm using to get my point across.

We all get the word "sexy".

I wanted something that has a related understanding to desirability, but with different connotation in the modern American English usage.

Please, don't get too bogged down with that. I could have picked a word in Spanish or Japanese with similar meanings, but with no connotations when presented to the average American, to present my over all message as well.

If you have ideas for a better word, let me know. :yep:

Nooooooo, I'm trying to understand within that concept because you say "sensory" but that others will automatically think of the generally accepted meaning. How so via what you describe? I'm looking for more on the true meaning of it? Are others thinking of the qualities of G-d or something else? No. 10, no.3 and 2 are great...I just don't get it that deeply because I automatically think of what another considers "feminine" such as 1)how one sits 2)how one communicates with a quiet spirit....etc. I was a tomboy...if it helps you comprehend how I'm trying to get to the meat of it all.:lol:


Like, it's not just no. 10, but then it is included (so do women defer?) and no. 9 is "absolutely not required" but then what would be? Submission, deference, quietness? I'm none of that. I was reading another article on the subject which stumps me as to what it should constitute and somebody mentioned girls in soccer and the regret of having allowed it. Shrugs... The Shekinah and nurturing quality of the Almight is the only thing coming to mind for a universal. But what about those who don't want families? You're making me think here, lady!

I hope this evolves into a hearty discussion because it's a difficult subject. Cheers for the blog! I'll read it more in depth...from what I already saw, it's a TRUE blog. Thumbs up.

[LittleGoldenLamb]

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[Guitarhero]

^^^^That all the coquetterie and fishnets are not required.

Actually, there are some who think you must sit with your hands folded and knees together to the side...when there are other ways to sit modestly. I was just watching a documentary on my 2 favorite elders, the Dann sisters of the Shoshone in Utah. These elderly women has a horse ranch and their femininity presented itself in a totally different manner as they made fences and tended to cattle, horses, fixed barns etc. Obviously, they didn't dress fancy at all but theirs emanated from a sense of care for the natural earth as nurturers, just as it nurtures us. Their children are grown but they did have family to raise at one time. It may not even look like the "average" well-groomed or dainty image we have. This is why I look at this issue, trying to find just exactly what it means for the modern woman of today.

And yes, you do have a true blog...with real writing!!!! I got so turned off many of them. How long have you had it? You should have it advertised or something (if you don't already).

[LittleGoldenLamb]

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[chicacanella]

I totally agree with this. The church or body of Christ needs to take back what femininity means. Just because you look look good as a WOMAN doesn't mean you aren't a Christian. I made this vital mistake in 2009 when I met my spiritual mother who God told me to go up and talk to. Well, I did per listening to the Holy Spirit...all the time thinking, "I don't know this woman" "what am I going to say God?" He told me to just strike up a conversation so I did. Well, she works heavily in the gift of prophecy and basically told me about my past, future, things the Holy Spirit wanted to talk to me about. She even spoke about what I was thinking though she didn't know it. I would think about a certain person, the Holy Spirit would tell her and she started talking about them. I was blown away.

BUT, she had a nice haircut with blonde highlights, dressed nicely and I thought prophetesses had to wear buns, long dresses and skirts. Not fitted jeans and nice tops. Totally miskewed understanding of what it means to be a real Woman of God. She could have "looked" the traditional part and still not have been a WOG or she could have. I will say that she has spoken in my life moreso than any first lady or person I've known and she showed cleavage also. So, the point is to look at the fruit and sort it out by the Holy Spirit not just by what you see on the outside. My spiritual mother dressed like Mary J. Blige So, imagine Mary J. Blige as a Prophetess and that's my friend.

[LucieLoo12]

This blog is interesting....I noticed that you said the "Church", but Im not sure I see the biblical view in this, but its an interesting read..:yep:

[Laela]

chicacanella... good to see you back!

I'm a visual person....
Are you talking this MJ
http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRUW6m-ONKFM_gdRhQyxUsWldAhCoW1WCM8bEoWyBB7lNX2PtIe
http://damitaro.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/mary-blige-all-smiles-the-big-apple.jpg



or this one?

http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSIfDc1svV1MHBN9EQi8FapOs45PbgPJ l9hPn4hLxh1Mvy_qfKA
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_bb7t2OWpEcg/TOyRIIMyh-I/AAAAAAAACV4/RwHdSm4XiEQ/s1600/Mary-J-Blige-u23.jpg

[Guitarhero]

chicacanella

I comprehend your view of your spiritual mother and agree. Anybody could "look" the part and not be what they seem to be. So true.

I also thought about this issue last night and have concluded for myself...this is just MHO for me...if femininity is intrinsic...then however you are as a just and moral person is YOUR femininity. You could be a ditch-digger or a prom queen and be feminine because it's intrinsic to being born a female, however it comes to look. I oftentimes think we are talking about conformity to another's standard. How can a woman lose her femininity when it's intrinsic? Societies shift, there come to exist other needs to fulfill a life throughout time. In my own society, women traditionally farmed and physically built the homes. Another group of people oppressed us and changed our society so that our men were emasculated by becoming the farmers. They superimposed their standard on us. Things changed.

I say this to indicate that however a woman is, that's femininity and you do not lose it. We are quite different today from women in the 40's and future generations will look to us as we now look to those of the past. They are all still women, naturally. Maybe for the church, we need to address the inner workings moreso than outer I dunno. That's why I questioned the OP as to what it truly means. Very complex issue, actually.:yep:

[LucieLoo12]

You could be a ditch-digger or a prom queen and be feminine because it's intrinsic to being born a female, however it comes to look. I oftentimes think we are talking about conformity to another's standard.


I agree with you on this GuitarHero :look:...

Thats I posted earlier because I didnt know what view this femininity was coming from..Is this more of a cultural view or biblical view..?

In the bible women were not necessarily looked upon or admired for their "beauty"(Most cases, the bible did speak of some women's beauty :look:) or deposition but they were admired for their alleigance and devotion to God. Ive seen some women that people would consider "Plain jane" because of they way the dress or look, but or absolutely BEAUTIFUL and lovely because of their spirit and the glory of God is upon them.

The ideal of femininity should not be measured in our outfits or make up... but our mindsets..that meek and quiet spirit that the bible speaks of.Our willingness to be able to submit to our husbands, pastors, leadership..whoever.


But this is all from a biblical standpoint

[LucieLoo12]

fem·i·nin·i·ty (fhttp://img.tfd.com/hm/GIF/ebreve.gifmhttp://img.tfd.com/hm/GIF/lprime.gifhttp://img.tfd.com/hm/GIF/schwa.gif-nhttp://img.tfd.com/hm/GIF/ibreve.gifnhttp://img.tfd.com/hm/GIF/prime.gifhttp://img.tfd.com/hm/GIF/ibreve.gif-thttp://img.tfd.com/hm/GIF/emacr.gif)
n. pl. fem·i·nin·i·ties 1. The quality or condition of being feminine.
2. A characteristic or trait traditionally held to be female.
3. Women considered as a group.

it depends on what group of women is being referenced. and what traditions? Traditions of society or God.

[LoveisYou]

I agree with you on this GuitarHero :look:...

Thats I posted earlier because I didnt know what view this femininity was coming from..Is this more of a cultural view or biblical view..?

In the bible women were not necessarily looked upon or admired for their "beauty"(Most cases, the bible did speak of some women's beauty :look:) or deposition but they were admired for their alleigance and devotion to God. Ive seen some women that people would consider "Plain jane" because of they way the dress or look, but or absolutely BEAUTIFUL and lovely because of their spirit and the glory of God is upon them.

The ideal of femininity should not be measured in our outfits or make up... but our mindsets..that meek and quiet spirit that the bible speaks of.Our willingness to be able to submit to our husbands, pastors, leadership..whoever.


But this is all from a biblical standpoint

I agree I think physical beauty and a lovely personality are admirable qualities but they can't be the extent of a woman's virtue, the OP did speak about inner beauty though.

At the end of the day our primary focus should be God, we should be looking to God to fulfill His wil for our lives.

[Laela]

Oh, I get it all right...

I assumed the OP is referencing Christians, since she posted it here and mentioned the church. I only posted MJ's photos because someone mentioned her and largely because MJ went through a metamorphosis of sorts. When she married, her appearance changed because she became a wife and mother. She still kept her makeup and impeccable dress but she does dress differently now. I believe this same concept applies to Christians when we begin to change, from the inside/out. Being married to God now, we begin to change..and that includes our appearance and behavior.

Yes, I agree our inner life is just as important as the outside appearance.... that's a given as a Woman of God anyway. I'm not disputing that. :look:

Culturally speaking, femininity is a set of attributes that includes behavior, personality, appearance and clothing. Likely, not stressing on one more attribute than the other is where you guys are going with this and I get that. Biblically, I believe those same attributes will be influenced by the power of the Holy Spirit. He is a Changer...we never remain the same. He changes us daily... :yep:

[LucieLoo12]

Nicely said!:yep:


Oh, I get it all right...

I assumed the OP is referencing Christians, since she posted it here and mentioned the church. I only posted MJ's photos because someone mentioned her and largely because MJ went through a metamorphosis of sorts. When she married, her appearance changed because she became a wife and mother. She still kept her makeup and impeccable dress but she does dress differently now. I believe this same concept applies to Christians when we begin to change, from the inside/out. Being married to God now, we begin to change..and that includes our appearance and behavior.

Yes, I agree our inner life is just as important as the outside appearance.... that's a given as a Woman of God anyway. I'm not disputing that. :look:

Culturally speaking, femininity is a set of attributes that includes behavior, personality, appearance and clothing. Likely, not stressing on one more attribute than the other is where you guys are going with this and I get that. Biblically, I believe those same attributes will be influenced by the power of the Holy Spirit. He is a Changer...we never remain the same. He changes us daily... :yep: