At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved?

[divya]

I would like to marry a Christian - a true Christian. Right now though, I am tired of the "Christian" men who just don't know how to treat people. The core of Christianity is to love God and your fellowman. I am in no way perfect or a model Christian but Lord knows I do my best to be kind to others.

It's been a battle for me spiritually lately because of "Christian" men who are just cold, controlling and selfish. After seemingly doing things according to Christian counsel (courtship guidelines) and things fall apart, it makes me so upset. Lord knows I am struggling with my Christianity. So who I am to judge who is saved/unsaved? If I do marry, my hope is just for a man who wants to be a Christian in his heart.

[FlyyBohemian]

I would like to marry a Christian - a true Christian. Right now though, I am tired of the "Christian" men who just don't know how to treat people. The core of Christianity is to love God and your fellowman. I am in no way perfect or a model Christian but Lord knows I do my best to be kind to others.

It's been a battle for me spiritually lately because of "Christian" men who are just cold, controlling and selfish. After seemingly doing things according to Christian counsel (courtship guidelines) and things fall apart, it makes me so upset. Lord knows I am struggling with my Christianity. So who I am to judge who is saved/unsaved? If I do marry, my hope is just for a man who wants to be a Christian in his heart.

I'm in the same situation. I know I should marry a Christian man but I've been burned by a few of them. Hopefully, God will send me one that thinks like me.


Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

[Iwanthealthyhair67]

MissNina
As Christians we are called out from the world to be separate and different, we should not be doing things in the same old ways that we did before we were saved which includes ‘dating’ and this is why I don’t like the word dating because in my opinion it has the same connotations, I prefer the word ‘courting’ but that’s a matter of personal choice…

With no disrespect to the posters that came in and shared their experiences, if you read through some of the comments you would have noticed lots of similarities to experiences that we once had while we were in the world…because there are no clear guidelines or rules in place we tend to fall into some of the same traps of the ‘dating’ world and end up getting married and divorced same as the world does and for the same reasons…

[divya]

MissNina
As Christians we are called out from the world to be separate and different, we should not be doing things in the same old ways that we did before we were saved which includes ‘dating’ and this is why I don’t like the word dating because in my opinion it has the same connotations, I prefer the word ‘courting’ but that’s a matter of personal choice…

With no disrespect to the posters that came in and shared their experiences, if you read through some of the comments you would have noticed lots of similarities to experiences that we once had while we were in the world…because there are no clear guidelines or rules in place we tend to fall into some of the same traps of the ‘dating’ world and end up getting married and divorced same as the world does and for the same reasons…

Well as someone who far along in the "courtship" process and got burned in it, sometimes I'm not too sure about that either. I'm more inclined to feel that when people's hearts are truly sincere, things will work out. But maybe the Lord has much more work to do on me...

[Iwanthealthyhair67]

^^may I ask your experience, why do think it didn't work...

[Laela]

I can agree with this and understand what you mean...it's all semantics. This discussion reminds me of a young woman I went to college with who was saved at the time (I wasn't saved then) and she had discussed with us girls in class that she doesn't "date" -- she "courts". What I got from that back then, was that courting had a more serious connotation because it involves standards, with the specific goal of getting to know one person to prepare for marriage.

Dating seemingly has a less serious connotation; it appears more 'social' or 'casual' because in the world..dating ..comes with the understanding that sex may be involved and people are just hooking up to hook up and not necessarily get married. There is also the understanding it involves seeing more than one person at the same time.

I also agree with the point Divya made, though...it's all in the intent of the heart and the two people involved, despite what it's called. There are Christians who don't consider oral sex fornication :look: yet claim they're 'saving themselves' for marriage while courting. On the flip side, a couple of Christians could be on the up and up, say they are dating each other yet are seriously spending time with each other and God, and not doing all that other extra stuff. :lol:

@MissNina (http://www.longhaircareforum.com/member.php?u=1163)
As Christians we are called out from the world to be separate and different, we should not be doing things in the same old ways that we did before we were saved which includes ‘dating’ and this is why I don’t like the word dating because in my opinion it has the same connotations, I prefer the word ‘courting’ but that’s a matter of personal choice…

With no disrespect to the posters that came in and shared their experiences, if you read through some of the comments you would have noticed lots of similarities to experiences that we once had while we were in the world…because there are no clear guidelines or rules in place we tend to fall into some of the same traps of the ‘dating’ world and end up getting married and divorced same as the world does and for the same reasons…

[Iwanthealthyhair67]

^^yes, yes agreed ...

I guess what ever it is called, I wish that we could understand that it is also a spiritual matter, and as such should be approached differently kwim?

[divya]

^^may I ask your experience, why do think it didn't work...

I will PM you sis.

[skyslady]

Never settle for less than God's best for you... Jeremiah 29:11... that means, the best of the best. Not the cream of the crap... (sorry I'm Caribbean...)

That means, being unequally yolked by accepting less than God's best (settling, compromising) -- when He has something better already promised to you.

[disclaimer: this is generally speaking, when I say "you".. .not directed at you per say, OP ] :yep:



I 100% agree!!!