At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved?

[OhmyKimB]

I don't know if you know but I've been married before..but not in the church...essentially "not" married, plus, I wasn't religious at the time. When I think about explaining it, my head spins.:look: His family is Jewish according to Jewish law...mine if partly Jewishly descended. That's not the problem because I found my faith again in the synagogue as well as eventually the church. He didn't, truly. The problem was that his family was forced to the Orthodox Ethiopian Church because of political reasons. The grandmother had him baptized/confirmed as a baby and she found faith in Jesus as Messiah. They still practiced Judaism with all the feasts etc. But he and his brothers and, I guess, parents (step-mom), were not that religious. Then the socialists took everything and murdered people in the millions. Since his childhood, there was nothing but parties, drugs, terror and death. Little room for finding true religion or faith.


See, I basically don't have a problem with anybody Jewish, orthodox, Coptic or catholic. But I will have nothing to do with protestants, muslims, Hindus, religious Buddhists or any other traditions because they don't comprehend us. It's hard enough Jewish/catholic lol! I just won't do it. And I'm not going to be raising up any man. In our tradition, you are baptised in infancy, reborn into the family of G-d. In confirmation, the H-ly Spirit comes upon you in a special way to guide you for the rest of your life. You are trained by your parents. You are simply catholic since birth. I'm not going to get into a relationship with any other except maybe for a Jew (for various other personal reasons) in hopes I can lead somebody to the Church. That's on them. There are many marriages in the Church requiring a dispensation to marry (others not of it) but I'm not going to be one of them. This next time around, it'll be through the Church. I'm not one to meet a nice guy and wait for him to find Jesus, planting seeds. Nope, tis for the birds, hoping forever. Well, I didn't do that the first time around. I just don't believe in it. Of course, ...the Jewish issue...but it's more cultural than not for me and is highly complicated. As for race, yes, I'd prefer any color of Native guy. There are even messianic or orthodox Native Americans as you must know by now. But that's it. I have one plan and will not sway from it. Never again. You can end up losing too much of yourself.

I don't know what Protestants you know. But many of "us" understand Catholicism and Judaism quite well. Thank you.

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[GoddessMaker]

I feel that there is never a time in your walk like you can't get that deep in God enough to be able to go out of his will and date or God forbid marry a unbeliever.He can be a friend and with much prayer and fasting hope he will give his life to our daddy.I have gone out of his will when I was engaged a few years ago and well Im neither married and still recovering from the wounds.Just my 2 cents

[Shimmie]

I feel that there is never a time in your walk like you can't get that deep in God enough to be able to go out of his will and date or God forbid marry a unbeliever.He can be a friend and with much prayer and fasting hope he will give his life to our daddy.I have gone out of his will when I was engaged a few years ago and well Im neither married and still recovering from the wounds.Just my 2 cents

You have a wonderful testimony of life and God is going to use you to restore and 'save' the lives of many, many hurting men and women.

Don't ever give up... for your pain, God has given you 'Beauty for Ashes'. :yep: (Isaiah 61)

[FlyyBohemian]

There are Christian women who married Christian men and the same thing happened.

IMO the equalness needed is the same values, characteristics, core goodness, etc. Just because both are Christians and/or go to same church doesn't mean instant compatibility. I think being open to possibilities and being firm in your relationship with God is what is needed. I can see a lot of women on here passing up Aaron, Moses, Elijah, or Saul, pre-Paul, etc because technically they weren't Christians either. And poor David...yall wouldnt look 2x at him and he was the "apple of God's eye."

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Still, Christ makes a difference! When a man has the fear of God in him, there is a difference in the way he will treat you. I'm not going to marry a man who does not take his relationship with God seriously. He'll question why you give so much money to church, why you spend so much time in church, why you don't drink or smoke as much, and especially why you won't sleep with him when your not married to him. Men have the upper hand most of the time and eventually you'll choose to give in or leave. The bible says "you cant serve 2 masters. You will love one and hate the other." In marriage you serve your husband. It would be a lot harder if he is not saved. The word also states "bad company corrupts good manners" and warns us to "take heed lest you fall". We are never to spiritual to fall. If we are open to marrying non-Christians then where do we draw the line? Can we marry moslems, Hindus, bhuddist, or satanist? What if your child chooses your husband's religion and not yours? Who can you blame then? I'm not saying that all men in the church are good or all men in the world are bad, but Jesus Christ should be the most important thing in any marriage. A life outside the will of God is not fulfilling.

[Shimmie]

Still, Christ makes a difference! When a man has the fear of God in him, there is a difference in the way he will treat you.

I'm not going to marry a man who does not take his relationship with God seriously. He'll question why you give so much money to church, why you spend so much time in church, why you don't drink or smoke as much, and especially why you won't sleep with him when your not married to him. Men have the upper hand most of the time and eventually you'll choose to give in or leave. The bible says "you cant serve 2 masters. You will love one and hate the other." In marriage you serve your husband. It would be a lot harder if he is not saved. The word also states "bad company corrupts good manners" and warns us to "take heed lest you fall". We are never to spiritual to fall.

If we are open to marrying non-Christians then where do we draw the line? Can we marry moslems, Hindus, bhuddist, or satanist? What if your child chooses your husband's religion and not yours? Who can you blame then? I'm not saying that all men in the church are good or all men in the world are bad, but Jesus Christ should be the most important thing in any marriage. A life outside the will of God is not fulfilling.

Exactly :yep:

Can two WALK TOGETHER, except they be agreed? Amos 3:3

No man can SERVE TWO MASTERS: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon. (Matthew 6:24)


This scripture applies to more than just money (mammon). :yep:

A married couple cannot serve two different gods. One of the two will alter their faith; often it is the wife who fears losing her husband. She will suffer all just to stay married. She's already surrendered her faith if she marries outside of it; it is almost certain she will surrender completely to stay married.

For a Christian male or female seeking a mate, their marriage has a much better chance of survival if they are both Christians as they are one in Christ Jesus. :yep:

--------------------------------------

Happy 4th... :happydance: We're having a huge BBQ :happydance: I'm off my diet. This is proof positive I cannot serve two masters. Eating right .... :lol:

[Ladybelle]

No, I wouldn't date someone who is not a Christian. You have to be God led in order to be bold enough to step to me, lol! :)

I would try to disciple to a non-christian dude, but not be his girlfriend or wife. If he's lost how on earth could he ever lead me?

[Guitarhero]

I don't know what Protestants you know. But many of "us" understand Catholicism and Judaism quite well. Thank you.

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Yeah, I've known enough of them to know that I'm not ever going to seek out a relationship with one. No, they don't when it comes to our religion, teachings from OUR point of view (not 3rd person) and culture, just like the other religions I mentioned. It inevitably takes on the question of religion versus truth. Nobody here is vying to run and find a catholic guy to marry. They want a protestant because they would be closer to what they are used to religiously. We are not the same. That is my preference. A pentecostal is not at all going to understand me and vice versa. That pentecostal deserves a pente spouse, not a catholic one. The point is to be equally yoked for whoever you are. There are people here who don't even think that catholics are christians or that Jews are G-d's chosen. :ohwell: I've been around these CF parts for a little while:yep:. Trust me on that.

The point is, equally yoked to what you can accept. I know of many Jewish-catholic unions in which they both retain their separate religions. But for catholic, orthodox, coptic etc. with other christian sects, they either converted or left the relationship. Besides that, you have to get a dispensation. But there can be no union with a non-catholic/orthodox and a priest will not marry them. With Jews, you can get a dispensation and have your priest present to preside along with the rabbi (not orthodox Jews, of course). Why that is, I do not fully understand but it is true.

[Guitarhero]

That was insulting why are you even in the Christian forum then? Because apparently us Gentiles don't know what were talking about (the nerve for us to consider ourselves one because we were adopted in. Please stay away from any child who is adopted.) and you haven't made and strides to convert us either.

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I'm not here to argue with you. We all should know our faith and know how to defend it. That, however, does not constitute proselytization. Thank G-d!!! Ma'am, I am a loving mother of 4 wonderful beautiful, smart and well-balanced children. I was adopted by a loving family, as was my brother. I am also reunited with my birth family. I know a lot of what it means to be adopted, and to have lived in foster homes at a young age. :yep: Lots of people here understand my posts. I don't convert people at all, not anything I was taught and not something I'd ever like to do even though I had countless folks from other denominations, even an orthodox, attempting to do such disrespectfully to me. This is another issue, however. Religious adherence is a choice. I don't convert folks. I don't believe that people who do not know Jesus will go to hell. Yes, I was horribly treated by many protestants but I do not hate them, I just wouldn't marry one because we would be horribly unyoked and it would wreak havoc on a marriage. But I do have great protestant friends. You have misunderstood my meaning. It wasn't an insult...but perhaps the few Jews on LHCF are feeling insulted by being told that they have been thrown to the garbage and abandoned by G-d because they don't believe in Jesus. SoftBlackCotton was not insulting, she is reiterating what she was taught as a new christian. It's not really true. It is a misunderstanding in Replacement Theology. "Gentile" is not an insulting word but telling Jews they are shoved out is...but was inadvertent by SoftBlackCotton. Gentiles were grated onto the vine, which is the Jews, and became as part of the people of G-d. :yep: One family...but we don't quite know that yet seeing the way we treat one another.

[Poohbear]

I cannot really answer the question of whether or not I would date or marry someone who is "unsaved". I do not believe any woman can judge whether or not a man is saved or will be saved... not even by a man's actions because there are so many men who claim to be "saved" and they are unfaithful, dishonest, ill-tempered, etc. or wrongdoings that people believe make a person "unsaved" so-to-speak.

But I also have a different view about salvation than most of you all here. I believe salvation is something a Christian works out with fear and trembling until the end of time. We are still living in an evil physical world and Jesus has not returned yet. Our salvation rest in the hands of Jesus Christ, not us.

mstrublvr - I pretty much agree with your posts as well.

[MyInvisibleChyrsalis]

I know for myself that I met my husband at a point in my life when he was living in the world and for the world and so was I. When I began my walk with God and He began to change me, my husband began to change as well. Sometimes honestly, I question whether my husband is truly saved or not. If you ask him, he'll tell you hes a christian. We regularly attend church and serve on the chruch staff. While I know He believes in God and has asked Jesus for slavation, his actions speak otherwise. No one but God knows for sure and I pray for him to give himself completely to the Lord.

I know my prayers and my encouragement have helped this man more than I will ever know. He grew up in a "lets play pretend Christian" home where they all said the right things and walked the walk but had a family life that was decidely opposite. His father I feel truly became saved in the later years of his life and apologized to my husband on how he was raised. Unfortunately for my husband, he spent a longtime learning how to be a Christian without having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. Now in his late 20's, he is skeptical. But one thing is for sure, Where we were when we met and where we are now because of my walk with God and His blessing on our family is like night and day.

He has truly blessed this household and my husband through prayer and obedience. My husband is not the spirtual leader of our household yet, but I trust in my God that I will see that in my lifetime. He doesn't fast, or pray like I do, or have the desire to tithe like I do, but God sent him to me and we delight ourselves in retelling our friends and family how we met, how God has brought us from glory to glory. We don't fight over these things because while he isn't there yet, he sees the God in what I do. The things it took for me to see God's faithfulness and submit to him fully will not be the things it will take for my husband because he is not me. His walk with God is unique to only him.

My husband loves his family, treats me like gold, loves and honors our children, is learning humility, and believes the word of God to be true yet he sturggles with obedience and pride like many of us. I have seen him grow leaps and bounds by osmosis!! lol. God is changing His heart in His own way. I also believe that salvation is a lifelong journey and no one can say that they have "made it".
I honor my husband and he is head of our household because that is how we see it modeled in God's word. Are we unequally yolked? Does it count that we were both in the world when we met or does that only apply to someone who is a Christian believer before they marry? If my prayers and obedience to God help my husband heal certain areas that are preventing him from running into the arms of His heavenly father , were we ever unequally yolked to begin with? Would it be self-righteous of me to say to my future husband, you are not as far as I am in my walk with God so I cannot marry you until you are at least on my level?

[mstrublvr]

Still, Christ makes a difference! When a man has the fear of God in him, there is a difference in the way he will treat you. I'm not going to marry a man who does not take his relationship with God seriously. He'll question why you give so much money to church, why you spend so much time in church, why you don't drink or smoke as much, and especially why you won't sleep with him when your not married to him. Men have the upper hand most of the time and eventually you'll choose to give in or leave. The bible says "you cant serve 2 masters. You will love one and hate the other." In marriage you serve your husband. It would be a lot harder if he is not saved. The word also states "bad company corrupts good manners" and warns us to "take heed lest you fall". We are never to spiritual to fall. If we are open to marrying non-Christians then where do we draw the line? Can we marry moslems, Hindus, bhuddist, or satanist? What if your child chooses your husband's religion and not yours? Who can you blame then? I'm not saying that all men in the church are good or all men in the world are bad, but Jesus Christ should be the most important thing in any marriage. A life outside the will of God is not fulfilling.

I had EVERY intention of staying out of this post, but yall sure do love responding back to me lol:fan:...dang I can count at least 5 references to me since I said I hope the best for everyone, lets agree to disagree and deuces..so that being said, this is a response to you and to the others..I am not going to copy/paste all over this post. :nono:

1st..why do you assume that people of other God-based religions are serving another master? :spinning:They love God and unless God says that He does not want their love and service, who are you to say so? The bible references false gods..and btw yall are misquoting the heck out of the "two masters" verse (not to mention a few others..) The verse refers to serving something other than God - not HOW you serve God, but serving something else..aka idol, false gods, money, man, etc. Geez I hope you never encounter a God-loving alien..:lol:

2nd..I am sure it was not intentional slight, but really..muslims in the same line as satanists and hindus??? You need to learn what a muslim truly is. They are devout believers of God (who btw are being persecuted right now all over the world because of a crazy few..also sounds familiar for any Christian historian). They call Him by the Arabic word for God (remember that God has how many names??) The only real difference is the identity of the Messiah (again between them and God) and a few later prophets..who btw according to Christian biblical historians are left out due to the european/white/male dominate climate at the time the KJ version was created. Oh and Buddhism is a way of life, not a religion. The Buddha said not to worship him as a god, but to learn from him as a teacher. They believe in simplifying life and honoring what God has blessed us with..hmm sounds familiar.

3rd...any man will question that stuff you mentioned..even a Christian man.:blush: Maybe you haven't had access to observe married Christian folks..the men still trip. Joel Osteen and Joyce Meyers crack about this all the time. Not to mention as I said repeatedly, some Christian dudes try to turn Christian women out too. Lets be real.

4th..I do believe that Christ has made a difference in my life. I would love to marry a Christian man ideally BUT I will not limit myself based on my very human view of the world. God sees the full picture, I see what I see. Our brains are as small as sand to Him; He created the beach. I am not going to discount a good, loving, respectful, honest, God-fearing man because he hasn't done what I have done religion-wise. God sees spirit and works; we get caught up in religion and rites. God will use anything and anyone to get His message across as well as move anyone, convert anyone (PAUL, Mary Magdelene, woman at the well, prodigal son, Moses, Nicodemus..bible is kinda full of converts) when He wants.

5th..wouldn't be a hoot if you are wrong? What if God put this amazing man of His choice before you, knowing what you need, want, desire, deserve far better than you do cause again His vision is better..you know..Omniscience...and you said no..:lachen::lachen:at least if He put the Christian Idris Elba-looking dude in my life, then he is just one of the possibilities I hoped for...hmmm

Last..and final...again lets just agree to disagree...I am not going to change your mind and you are not going to change mine. I believe God is a God of wonder and possibilities. I hope and pray the best for all yall...we will all have the right mates...Inshallah. Shalom.

[Love Always]

mstrublvr, I just knew you wasn't coming back :lol:. But, this really stood out to me and this is where I'm at. There are many Godly men out there and they're not always in the four walls of the church, this was mentioned in Candice Waters book, "Get Married: What You Can Do To Make It Happen".

Poohbear, I agree with your post as well.

God sees the full picture, I see what I see. Our brains are as small as sand to Him; He created the beach. I am not going to discount a good, loving, respectful, honest, God-fearing man because he hasn't done what I have done religion-wise. God sees spirit and works; we get caught up in religion and rites. God will use anything and anyone to get His message across as well as move anyone, convert anyone (PAUL, Mary Magdelene, woman at the well, prodigal son, Moses, Nicodemus..bible is kinda full of converts) when He wants.

[nicola.kirwan]

Knowing Jesus of Nazareth as Lord and Christ is everything. No one else brings salvation, and the only way to know and serve God truly is though Him and in His name.

There are lots of nonChristians who have long happy marriages without knowing Jesus. But the point is not simply to find happiness in this life, but to be a faithful disciple of Jesus in this life. Everything in this world is passing away, therefore we seek something beyond the best of what this world can offer.

This question is really no different than others. One could just as easily ask whether one really had to follow the Bible to get what you want out of life, to get ahead. But the question is whether you love God or not, enough to embrace His Son and follow His way of doing things.

You don't miss out on anything in being obedient to Christ. You have God's pleasure and promise of reward for doing so. The Christian walk is one of blessing, but it also calls for yielding and sacrifice, as Jesus yielded and sacrificed. Whether or not we are willing to do so reveals whether we are truly His.

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[fifi134]

For the record, if Muslims, Christians and Jews all believed in the same God, they wouldn't call themselves differently, nor would they have different bibles that teach different things than the other. The three do not believe or worship the same God.

[mstrublvr]

@ Fifi[QUOTE=fifi134;13764673]For the record, if Muslims, Christians and Jews all believed in the same God, they wouldn't call themselves differently, nor would they have different bibles that teach different things than the other. The three do not believe or worship the same God.

I honestly cannot believe someone would answer this way without double checking to make sure. Come on...you messing with me right?? LMBO you are funny. No really...so Lutheran, Baptist, Anglican are not serving same God because they have different names. Really funning me LOL

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[mstrublvr]

@ Love Always [QUOTE=Love Always;13762827]mstrublvr, I just knew you wasn't coming back :lol:. But, this really stood out to me and this is where I'm at. There are many Godly men out there and they're not always in the four walls of the church, this was mentioned in Candice Waters book, "Get Married: What You Can Do To Make It Happen".

Lol..I really did try. I have to check out that book.

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[Guitarhero]

For the record, if Muslims, Christians and Jews all believed in the same God, they wouldn't call themselves differently, nor would they have different bibles that teach different things than the other. The three do not believe or worship the same God.


We are Abrahamic faiths...we believe in the same G-d. However, we all have our own interpretations of the full and complete truth. G-d remains the same.

[mstrublvr]

We are Abrahamic faiths...we believe in the same G-d. However, we all have our own interpretations of the full and complete truth. G-d remains the same.

Thank you...I think she was messing with me..

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[OhmyKimB]

I'm not here to argue with you. We all should know our faith and know how to defend it. That, however, does not constitute proselytization. Thank G-d!!! Ma'am, I am a loving mother of 4 wonderful beautiful, smart and well-balanced children. I was adopted by a loving family, as was my brother. I am also reunited with my birth family. I know a lot of what it means to be adopted, and to have lived in foster homes at a young age. :yep: Lots of people here understand my posts. I don't convert people at all, not anything I was taught and not something I'd ever like to do even though I had countless folks from other denominations, even an orthodox, attempting to do such disrespectfully to me. This is another issue, however. Religious adherence is a choice. I don't convert folks. I don't believe that people who do not know Jesus will go to hell. Yes, I was horribly treated by many protestants but I do not hate them, I just wouldn't marry one because we would be horribly unyoked and it would wreak havoc on a marriage. But I do have great protestant friends. You have misunderstood my meaning. It wasn't an insult...but perhaps the few Jews on LHCF are feeling insulted by being told that they have been thrown to the garbage and abandoned by G-d because they don't believe in Jesus. SoftBlackCotton was not insulting, she is reiterating what she was taught as a new christian. It's not really true. It is a misunderstanding in Replacement Theology. "Gentile" is not an insulting word but telling Jews they are shoved out is...but was inadvertent by SoftBlackCotton. Gentiles were grated onto the vine, which is the Jews, and became as part of the people of G-d. :yep: One family...but we don't quite know that yet seeing the way we treat one another.



...deleted...


well since u thanked my post I said I don't understand why two sentences warrant a two paragraph response.

[fifi134]

I honestly cannot believe someone would answer this way without double checking to make sure. Come on...you messing with me right?? LMBO you are funny. No really...so Lutheran, Baptist, Anglican are not serving same God because they have different names. Really funning me LOL
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Lutheran, Baptist and Anglican are all Christian denominations. Not the same argument.

We are Abrahamic faiths...we believe in the same G-d. However, we all have our own interpretations of the full and complete truth. G-d remains the same.

I'm utterly shocked that you believe we worship the same God. I completely disagree. Christianity, Islam and Judaism may all have Abraham in common, but that does not mean Christians, Muslims and Jews worship the same God. If that were true, why do all three faiths have different views of Jesus? Christians believe Jesus is God, Muslims believe He is not, and Jews are still waiting for their messiah. How then are we all worshipping the same God?