Friends and moving on

[GoddessMaker]

Ok I will be very transparent in this thread so please don't judge me..

In 2007-early part of 2009 I was very depressed and sucidal..it seems that once I got on my college campus things became very hard.I have always taken care of myself so its not like some kids who lose it bc momma not there to wash their ears.I was depressed and anger over my past and because I was unemployed.I gained friends who were saying they believe in God but yet have sex no married,or they were homosexual males..I really enjoyed their friendship however now that I have really rededicated myself to Christ and am allowing God to help me see what is actually bothering me I don't want them in my life.I really only want to be around those who have their stuff together in the sexual area,motivation area,purity &modesty area..I know no one is perfect but I know what your around can rub off on you.See with the gay men I was around I started thinking maybe I was gay because I had no success with men..the devil is crafty joker..I know that is a lie.I noticed when Im around wholesome christian women I feel like they bring the best of if me.I have yet to be around any christian males..they are far and in between.

So today one my gay male friends emailed me asking why I didn't come to his party I told him I had things I wanted to work on and that ppl who were there aren't ppl I associate with anymore.Is this bad ladies? Im not trying to judge anyone and they know my stuff very well but I feel that now since Im awake I see my mistakes in friends..see they were there when they wanted to be but I know real friends will be there no matter how many times they have encourged you..its like they became jaded with me bc I didnt instantly become perky bc they said you shouldn't be depressed..

Any thoughts..

[HeChangedMyName]

No judgement here. And it's not judging on your part either to recognize sin for what it is. IF the Holy Spirit is leading you to cut ties with certain people in your life, then you can only follow His lead. I commend you for wanting so badly to get closer to God and being willing to let go of some of the things of this world in order to do so. I also commend you for recognizing the tricks of the devil. If more of us would just recognize his tactics and then act accordingly, many of us could avoid sin and other behaviors that are just unpleasing to the Lord.

I've been where you are, my second year in college. I wish I had known God like you do. You are on the right path. Just keep seeking His face. I can't promise you that your "friends" will all be receptive to or happy about your new changes, but in the end, you will be a much happier Christian.

[goldielocs]

No judgement here. And it's not judging on your part either to recognize sin for what it is. IF the Holy Spirit is leading you to cut ties with certain people in your life, then you can only follow His lead. I commend you for wanting so badly to get closer to God and being willing to let go of some of the things of this world in order to do so. I also commend you for recognizing the tricks of the devil. If more of us would just recognize his tactics and then act accordingly, many of us could avoid sin and other behaviors that are just unpleasing to the Lord.

I've been where you are, my second year in college. I wish I had known God like you do. You are on the right path. Just keep seeking His face. I can't promise you that your "friends" will all be receptive to or happy about your new changes, but in the end, you will be a much happier Christian.

^^^^^I completely agree with you.

Prettyface, you're on the right track so stay focused. I recommend the movie "Pilgrim's Progress." It is a movie I think every Christian should see at least 100 times- lol. Here's the link.

http://www.pilgrimsprogressthemovie.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=47&Itemid=78

I'll be praying for you.:yep:

[beaux cheveux]

Is there any christian groups on your campus? If you want to find godly friends maybe that would be a place to start.
I had to cut ties with some friends who weren't following God, and were in the world. I mean, it becomes a problem when they start to try to convince you that you should be doing what they are doing. If that makes sense.:lachen:
If there aren't any christian groups on your campus, maybe you can start one. If there is a church nearby your school, chances are some of the students from your school go there. Find some mature Christians, and try to start a bible study group. Get some accountability.
Best of luck!

[ashessehsa]

I had to cut ties with some friends who weren't following God, and were in the world. I mean, it becomes a problem when they start to try to convince you that you should be doing what they are doing. If that makes sense.:lachen:


The devil is a liar! He will try and convince you to do something that you KNOW is wrong, but make you feel as though it is right at the time. Stick to your morals!

[GoddessMaker]

Thank you ladies..I don't feel bad anymore about distancing and for a few just cutting them out.The girls I cut out I can't have a conversation about dating without arguing about sex before marriage or holding out for the godly one not the well endowed one.My gay male friends it will hurt but I will eventually will have to let them go too..it use to be ok listening to them talk about this boy that boy or but one told me he was dating a girl and he hadnt told her he claimed bisexual status I hit the roof..I know Im not perfect in the equation I was depressed way too long but that just didn't settle with me.It like I tried to go to club with them its just not in me..then i stopped coming over and now I dont call.I felt a little sad that I on my bday last month I barely got a phone call but I know one day I will be around some wholesome ppl.I mean when I had a close call with a boy one of them was like you havent had any in 4 years you know he doesnt mean anything to you so why not let him hit..I was totally take off guard..and then when they go to church I get kinda up set like they are mocking God..like your in here crying and snotting but your about to go and hit a boy after church..now I know everyone crys at church and does stuff right in the parking lot but I just feel homosexuality is a big thing to me..no sin is greater than the other.

I want to go as deep as possible with God as early as possible so I wont miss out on blessing and being able to bless others..I'm slowly making friends with females bc I have had such strained relations with them.

[sidney]

Hey lady,

I know what you are going through, I've been there on this issue. It is so important that we surround ourselves with people who will influence us to become more like God. It's okay to distance yourself, just try to doing in a way that isn't hurtful. The best way to do that is to make it known that this is about YOU. Tell them that YOU want to become serious about your relationship with God so you won't be going to parties and doing stuff that doesn't glorify God. They will stop calling you to invite you to those things. But the direct approaach works well too, just make sure you make it about you and do it in love.

[GoddessMaker]

Well a update..one of my gay male friends emailed me today asking me if I was ok..I told him that Im great but really moving in my walk with God and that we arent on the same path right now..I want to learn to be a godly woman,wife,good hr professional hopefully,and just a good person period..I dont party,club,drink or anything that is exciting to them..he then turned it on me again saying I was pushing him away and he didnt know why..and that I wasnt helping him with school..i have learned I was being too like a mom not a friend trying to do so much..and told him if you do things yourself you will value it so much..see i wanted to be his best close friend but Im learning my place...I may never be the life of the party to alot but to someone I will mean the world to them.

[Aviah]

There's nothing wrong with what you are doing. But at the same time do not shut them out should they still need help or want to know God. When I first came to Christ there was a natural drift between me and the people closest to me, because of lifestyle choices. I tried to hold on but it didn't work. God had me alone to work on me without the influences of the people who lived the lifestyle I used to. Though I had a hard time being alone for a while, its done me well in finding out wh I am as a person in Christ. I am now finding/securing my new friendships in Christ. I find naturally the people I get close to tend to be Christian. I also hang around non-christians sometimes, and show them love, whatever they should need I would do it for them as I possibly could, but the difference is (hopefully) in how I conduct myself. I want to pour Christ into them, not them pour the world into me.

[sweetjam2]

As you walk with God and seek a closer relationship with Him. There will be things and people you have to let go of. So, what you are doing is what you need to do to grow. You can't grow in your christian walk trying to be a people pleaser. You can't have it both ways. Remember, God will supply ALL of your needs, that includes friendships.

[nicey]

Ok I will be very transparent in this thread so please don't judge me..

In 2007-early part of 2009 I was very depressed and sucidal..it seems that once I got on my college campus things became very hard.I have always taken care of myself so its not like some kids who lose it bc momma not there to wash their ears.I was depressed and anger over my past and because I was unemployed.I gained friends who were saying they believe in God but yet have sex no married,or they were homosexual males..I really enjoyed their friendship however now that I have really rededicated myself to Christ and am allowing God to help me see what is actually bothering me I don't want them in my life.I really only want to be around those who have their stuff together in the sexual area,motivation area,purity &modesty area..I know no one is perfect but I know what your around can rub off on you.See with the gay men I was around I started thinking maybe I was gay because I had no success with men..the devil is crafty joker..I know that is a lie.I noticed when Im around wholesome christian women I feel like they bring the best of if me.I have yet to be around any christian males..they are far and in between.

So today one my gay male friends emailed me asking why I didn't come to his party I told him I had things I wanted to work on and that ppl who were there aren't ppl I associate with anymore.Is this bad ladies? Im not trying to judge anyone and they know my stuff very well but I feel that now since Im awake I see my mistakes in friends..see they were there when they wanted to be but I know real friends will be there no matter how many times they have encourged you..its like they became jaded with me bc I didnt instantly become perky bc they said you shouldn't be depressed..

Any thoughts..

Yes, the devil is very crafty and is a liar from the beginning. He will use every trick in the book to get you depressed and worried. I applaud you for your stand to follow God and for your convictions to do that which is right. Maybe your stand will convict them and they will change. You can be a sermon in shoes. I don't mean preach to them, but let your light shine.

Meanwhile, stay strong and keep striving to grow. Don't rush things because you might lose your blessings. The Lord just may be pruning you to be the woman of God he want you to be for the Christian man of your dreams. Get involved in a good Bible believing preaching church. Stay busy, pray and the Lord will bless.