HE that findth a "WIFE" findth a good thang!

[SEMO]

Last year I was telling God about my day and jokingly I asked Him when would I know who my husband was without a doubt and He said "July 2008" I was not expecting a response :blush:

A few months later He gave me a quick glipse of my husband in a dream. I think I know who it is based on what I saw but I won't try and guess until July :grin:. Maybe I'll just ask for a name or something. I'm sooo impatient :lachen:

That is hilarious. I understand exactly what you mean about not expecting a response. Maybe I should ask God the same question :sekret: (and He could send me a dream too while He's at it :lachen:). Now, don't forget to come back here in July to make an update thread :grin:.

[Belle Du Jour]

Great thread. I also believe in positioning oneself. Some of the greatest romances happened because women were in the right place to get "chose." (as my friend says :grin:) My favorite modern day love story is Mary and Fred of Denmark. She was an "ordinary" working girl and he was a wealthy prince. On the night they met, she changed her plans at the last minute and decided to meet some friends at a bar during the Olympics not knowing she would meet the man who would be her husband. And they lived happily ever after. . .

I used to be a die hard MMH fan and read a lot of her books. She does have a good message but the message gets old after a while. We need more authors telling good Christian wives in training how to prepare and be seen. I firmly believe that when a good man is looking for something and finds it, he will know and he will pursue. I'm just trying to live my life and when he finds me, hopefully he'll be wowed by my zest for life.

I love the idea of having mentors. I find that now, I'm attracting women into my life who are interested in my dating life. One relatively new friend stopped me during one of our study sessions and told me she couldn't understand why I was single. Anyway, I've gotten more proactive in my search and I hope I am found soon. :yep:

[gn1g]

Last year I was telling God about my day and jokingly I asked Him when would I know who my husband was without a doubt and He said "July 2008" I was not expecting a response :blush:

A few months later He gave me a quick glipse of my husband in a dream. I think I know who it is based on what I saw but I won't try and guess until July :grin:. Maybe I'll just ask for a name or something. I'm sooo impatient :lachen:


God is awesome!

I received a response from him like that when I was 16. I didn't really ask the questions I was just given the answers. I was told the year I would get married and that I would have a child when I was 27 and it all came to pass. I love to have conversations with God. My impatients gets in the way sometimes in that I am so busy babbling that I don't take time to listen. I find that the more I read his word the more I hear his audible voice.

. . . . "Be still and know the I am God."

[lady_brown]

It's funny because me and a friend of mine were just speaking on this subject last night. He was telling me that I need to get out more, because I will never run into my "Mr. Right." I don't do much...I'm on the ship for the most of the day, and then straight from there I go to class, and then any time in between I'm either in the gym or studying. I feel as though if it is meant for me to be in a "good" relationship it will occur with out me having to go out of my way to run into him. From reading the forum it seems as though everyone seems to have the same opinion as my friend.

[kbragg]

OT - What's wrong with watching Oprah?

She's ungodly consel and stands for and supports everything anti-Christ: http://www.jesus-is-savior.com/Wolves/oprah-fool.htm And even now with her big huge push of "The Secret" and now this "A New Earth" book as well. Millions of Christians are being lead head first into the metaphysical world and don't even know it, so I choose not to watch her.:nono:

My comment though was pertaining more to business and such moreso than her moral position (i.e. why you sitting up in here watching Oprah when you could be working on making the money you need to to get out of debt...duh!:lol)

[Bunny77]

It's funny because me and a friend of mine were just speaking on this subject last night. He was telling me that I need to get out more, because I will never run into my "Mr. Right." I don't do much...I'm on the ship for the most of the day, and then straight from there I go to class, and then any time in between I'm either in the gym or studying. I feel as though if it is meant for me to be in a "good" relationship it will occur with out me having to go out of my way to run into him. From reading the forum it seems as though everyone seems to have the same opinion as my friend.

Well, he is a man... he might have a clue as to how men think. ;) (Not saying men are always right (:lachen:), but they can hit it on the nose sometimes!)

I've heard a lot of other Christian men say that they like to be out and about doing activities and other things besides work/school/job/church, but they don't meet any women when they are out... and yet, the women will complain that they can't meet a good man at work/school/job/church... as if those are the only options available to them!

GET OUT! :D

P.S. I don't think there is any one way for a good relationship to occur. It could very well happen with you doing nothing, or it could happen with you exerting some effort.

I think one problem is that we think that there is one way that relationships have to develop and then we use religious reasoning to support that idea ("God's will," "Everything in His time," etc...).

When if you actually examine various marital relationships in the Bible, they developed in different ways... some were just women doing their own thing and a man happened upon them and in other cases, parents played matchmaker and brought their children together.

Esther entered a competition to end up with King Xerxes (Ahaserus -- sp?) as her husband. Yes, he "picked" her, but she put herself in the pool to be picked. She didn't just wait around and hope some man would happen upon her and pray to God to send her a husband and then do nothing!

Just some food for thought. :)

[janiebaby]

Haven't been in this thread much but kbragg and Bunny.........


Yall know I love yall right????

[Bunny77]

Haven't been in this thread much but kbragg and Bunny.........


Yall know I love yall right????

I love you too!

I haven't been ignoring you... thanks for the PMs you sent... I'll get back to ya soon! :)

[kbragg]

Haven't been in this thread much but kbragg and Bunny.........


Yall know I love yall right????

I love you too boo!:bighug:

[MzRhonda]

Well...you gotta lean on your boldness is Christ Ms. Lady:grin: Let me preface that though. I'm not talking about "chasing" a man who's no good and shows no interest in you and coming across as deparate. I'm just speaking of being proactive.

For example if you pray "Lord, I need a breakthough in my finances!" but you still watch Oprah, still run up your credit cards, still have the same spending habits, and don't become a better stewart of what you have, then if God doesn't drop manna/ombey from heaven into your lap, don't assume it's "just not God's will" for you to be free from financial bondage. He's wanting to see if you can be trusted with what you have because he knows if he gives you more, it'll ruin you, and a good Daddy doesn't do that to his kids.

So if you say "Lord send me a husband" but spend 99.9% at home in hermit mode, don't assume that "it's not God's will" for you to be married...you're just hiding and caint be found!:grin:

Shaking my head right there!

[Crystalicequeen123]

I had to "position" myself to be found because my poor husband was so dense in the beginning!It took him MONTHS to realize that I liked him and then he had the nerve to tell me that he would have asked me out sooner if I had only made the fact that I was interested more obvious!

We met at school (Christian college) and I just knew he was the man for me, so you better believe I made sure to just-so-happen to be at all the same school functions, events, and bible studies that he was. I invited him to sit next to me in chapel, or to go out with a group of friends to a coffee shop, or have lunch me in the courtyard. I wasn't aggressive or desperate or pushy, I didn't go chasing him down, but I was out and about so he couldn't help but see me. I kept it lady like but I made myself known and after a while he took notice. I let him pursue me: the more he knew about me, the more he wanted to know; the more he spent time with me, the more he wanted to spend time with me; and the more he saw that I was a woman of God who eventually wanted a Godly husband, the more he wanted to make sure that he was that husband.

If I had kept to myself and not put myself in a position to be noticed, then I seriously doubt my shy DH would have asked me out of his own accord.

Good point! :up: I do believe in at least making yourself "visible" in order to attract a guy. Not in a showy way of course, but just make sure he knows who you are type of way. You can't just expect some guy to just drop in your lap! :lol:

However, with the points in bold.... I'm a bit confused. Inviting him to sit down with you, or inviting him to hang out with you and your friends...isn't that kind of like pursuing HIM?? :confused: I guess I don't understand the difference between getting him to notice you, and actually aggressively pursuing the guy.

What is typically entailed when women talk about pursuing a guy or being "aggressive"? Because I figured that calling a guy, texting a guy, inviting a guy to hang out with you & friends (when he hasn't invited you out), and approaching him all the time at church would be sort of like pursuing him. But maybe I'm wrong?

I mean, some women don't do anything, and it seems like they still end up dating and getting married. But yet others flirt and do all things to attract a guy and some of them still don't end up snagging the guy. Does it depend on the guy? What constitutes as being "desperate" in your mind? I think I have a distorted view of this because all my life my mom always warned me about coming across as "desperate" or "needy", so it made me not even want to approach any guy. It made me afraid of even using my feminine charm to even attract any guy really. To this day I still don't think I really know how to talk to guys/men without feeling self-conscious or being afraid that they think/know that I like them, etc. :( My mom was of the belief that a guy would come out of nowhere and instantly be attracted to me, and want to date me. :rolleyes:

So what is being "too aggressive" or "desperate" in your view? How can you "start the ball rolling" without appearing needy and coming off as a turn-off to the guy? :confused:

[SEMO]

I mean, some women don't do anything, and it seems like they still end up dating and getting married. But yet others flirt and do all things to attract a guy and some of them still don't end up snagging the guy. Does it depend on the guy? What constitutes as being "desperate" in your mind? I think I have a distorted view of this because all my life my mom always warned me about coming across as "desperate" or "needy", so it made me not even want to approach any guy. It made me afraid of even using my feminine charm to even attract any guy really. To this day I still don't think I really know how to talk to guys/men without feeling self-conscious or being afraid that they think/know that I like them, etc. :( My mom was of the belief that a guy would come out of nowhere and instantly be attracted to me, and want to date me. :rolleyes:

So what is being "too aggressive" or "desperate" in your view? How can you "start the ball rolling" without appearing needy and coming off as a turn-off to the guy? :confused:

All of those are million dollar questions. But seeing as how I am still dateless :ohwell: I won't offer up any solutions. But I understand the bolded completely. Sometimes I wonder if I just seem unapproachable.

[Sunshine_One]

BUMPing.......

[Bunny77]

Another bump!

[Butterfly08]

Also, I like Michelle McKinney Hammond (I have several of her books), but despite all the books she writes, of which there are many, about relationships and how to get a man to marry you, she herself is still single. I think it would be wise to solicit advice from ladies successfully married, and not just singles.



:yep: :yep:

[Butterfly08]

I also like all the advice he gave to RUTH. The world needs more BOAZs instead of Bozos!

:yep: :yep: :yep:

[gn1g]

I was having this discussion with a few friends, one of which is the one that doesn't go anywhere and the other one who is a youngster and just left her live in boyfriend. The subject came up "about where to go and what to do". There is not a night life for christians?? I really don't have an answer for that. The youngster whose late 20's says the loneliness is overwhelming at times.:sad:

Do you all have any suggestions?

My advice was too always look your best whenever you leave the house, where ever you go. Go to all the places you have an interest in. Join groups and organizations that peak your interest. So I was somewhat at a lost but I did say check the weekend guide for things to do, and dallasblack.com. However dallasblack is more geared toward the night club.


I guess I am back peddling on this cause they need to get out more, make it easier for him to find them but at the same rate God knows how to get all paths to cross.

[Bunny77]

I was having this discussion with a few friends, one of which is the one that doesn't go anywhere and the other one who is a youngster and just left her live in boyfriend. The subject came up "about where to go and what to do". There is not a night life for christians?? I really don't have an answer for that. The youngster whose late 20's says the loneliness is overwhelming at times.:sad:

Do you all have any suggestions?

My advice was too always look your best whenever you leave the house, where ever you go. Go to all the places you have an interest in. Join groups and organizations that peak your interest. So I was somewhat at a lost but I did say check the weekend guide for things to do, and dallasblack.com. However dallasblack is more geared toward the night club.


I guess I am back peddling on this cause they need to get out more, make it easier for him to find them but at the same rate God knows how to get all paths to cross.

Wow, are they serious? They live in Dallas and can't find things to do?

You can go out to restaurants, coffee houses, poetry slams, book clubs, professional mixers (for one's individual career), conferences, hobby meet-ups, etc., etc. Do they not have hobbies or interests that they'd like to explore? No community education classes they might want to take?

Your friends are really going to have to get creative here and start thinking outside of the box... since when did "going out" only mean night clubs and bars?

Um, and while I don't mean to be mean... it's funny that one Christian woman had a live-in boyfriend, but yet, she's getting hung up on the idea of going to bars and nightclubs and saying there's nothing for Christian women to do for fun. :perplexed

[chicacanella]

Good point! :up: I do believe in at least making yourself "visible" in order to attract a guy. Not in a showy way of course, but just make sure he knows who you are type of way. You can't just expect some guy to just drop in your lap! :lol:

However, with the points in bold.... I'm a bit confused. Inviting him to sit down with you, or inviting him to hang out with you and your friends...isn't that kind of like pursuing HIM?? :confused: I guess I don't understand the difference between getting him to notice you, and actually aggressively pursuing the guy.

What is typically entailed when women talk about pursuing a guy or being "aggressive"? Because I figured that calling a guy, texting a guy, inviting a guy to hang out with you & friends (when he hasn't invited you out), and approaching him all the time at church would be sort of like pursuing him. But maybe I'm wrong?

I mean, some women don't do anything, and it seems like they still end up dating and getting married. But yet others flirt and do all things to attract a guy and some of them still don't end up snagging the guy. Does it depend on the guy? What constitutes as being "desperate" in your mind? I think I have a distorted view of this because all my life my mom always warned me about coming across as "desperate" or "needy", so it made me not even want to approach any guy. It made me afraid of even using my feminine charm to even attract any guy really. To this day I still don't think I really know how to talk to guys/men without feeling self-conscious or being afraid that they think/know that I like them, etc. :( My mom was of the belief that a guy would come out of nowhere and instantly be attracted to me, and want to date me. :rolleyes:

So what is being "too aggressive" or "desperate" in your view? How can you "start the ball rolling" without appearing needy and coming off as a turn-off to the guy? :confused:


That is a good question. And further more, what if you see a guy in church that you are attracted to but he is on the other side of the church? Do you make it a point to sit next to him the next Sunday? Get involved in more church activities?

[gn1g]

Um, and while I don't mean to be mean... it's funny that one Christian woman had a live-in boyfriend, but yet, she's getting hung up on the idea of going to bars and nightclubs and saying there's nothing for Christian women to do for fun. :perplexed

that's a long story but she was a luke warm baptist.