HE that findth a "WIFE" findth a good thang!

[gn1g]

Modern Day Ruth, Boaz was a working man, that's what I'm talking about. She position herself on his property. That's my kinda girl.:grin:

[shalom]

Well...you gotta lean on your boldness is Christ Ms. Lady:grin: Let me preface that though. I'm not talking about "chasing" a man who's no good and shows no interest in you and coming across as deparate. I'm just speaking of being proactive.

For example if you pray "Lord, I need a breakthough in my finances!" but you still watch Oprah, still run up your credit cards, still have the same spending habits, and don't become a better stewart of what you have, then if God doesn't drop manna/ombey from heaven into your lap, don't assume it's "just not God's will" for you to be free from financial bondage. He's wanting to see if you can be trusted with what you have because he knows if he gives you more, it'll ruin you, and a good Daddy doesn't do that to his kids.

So if you say "Lord send me a husband" but spend 99.9% at home in hermit mode, don't assume that "it's not God's will" for you to be married...you're just hiding and caint be found!:grin:

This is true.:yep:

[kbragg]

Modern Day Ruth, Boaz was a working man, that's what I'm talking about. She position herself on his property. That's my kinda girl.:grin:

Yep! And remember also, what stood out about Ruth in the first place was not that she was fine or available, or even that she was looking for a husband, but the fact that she was a hard worker. She was working hard as unto God, and as a result found favor with man.:yep:

Oh yeah, don't forget muh gurl Ms. Hadassah (Ester):yep: She too positioned herself, and saved a whole nation from genocide!:yep: She was da hotness forreal:grin:

Oh side note on the Ester topic. How come everytime I read the part where the king asks Queen Vashti to come to the party, why do I always interpret her response as "Negro please! You must don't know 'bout me!":lachen:It got flipped on her though cuz it was him that said "To da left, to da left":rolleyes::lachen:

[klb120475]

Yep! And remember also, what stood out about Ruth in the first place was not that she was fine or available, or even that she was looking for a husband, but the fact that she was a hard worker. She was working hard as unto God, and as a result found favor with man.:yep:

Oh yeah, don't forget muh gurl Ms. Hadassah (Ester):yep: She too positioned herself, and saved a whole nation from genocide!:yep: She was da hotness forreal:grin:

Oh side note on the Ester topic. How come everytime I read the part where the king asks Queen Vashti to come to the party, why do I always interpret her response as "Negro please! You must don't know 'bout me!":lachen:It got flipped on her though cuz it was him that said "To da left, to da left":rolleyes::lachen:

Kbragg......you so stoopid! You keep me laughing!!:lachen::lachen::lachen:

[gn1g]

Yep! And remember also, what stood out about Ruth in the first place was not that she was fine or available, or even that she was looking for a husband, but the fact that she was a hard worker. She was working hard as unto God, and as a result found favor with man.:yep:

Oh yeah, don't forget muh gurl Ms. Hadassah (Ester):yep: She too positioned herself, and saved a whole nation from genocide!:yep: She was da hotness forreal:grin:

Oh side note on the Ester topic. How come everytime I read the part where the king asks Queen Vashti to come to the party, why do I always interpret her response as "Negro please! You must don't know 'bout me!":lachen:It got flipped on her though cuz it was him that said "To da left, to da left":rolleyes::lachen: That's funny, I hope she had a box!

[klb120475]

Just so ya'll know Boo is actively seeking me.:yep:

[Janice]

I believe that most women should be "preparing " rather than "positioning". It should not be up to us to find our husbands. The Lord takes care of that while we discover our purpose or simply walk in daily obedience to him while trusting (doing his will). Ruth and Esther were doing the Lord's will (accomplishing their purpose). There was never the idea behind the back of their heads of let me get close to this man so I can marry him. Their mates discovered them. Both men were attracted to these ladies because they saw the passion in these two women concerning the things of God.

I believe that if you want a true godly man, just focus on doing the things of the Lord, a godly man will notice you even when you think he is not looking. If you have to "work" to get a guy before seeing your heart than that brother is not spiritually mature yet in my opinion. A godly man, whether shy or not will pursue!

Michelle Hammond puts it best in her most recent book of that in finding our purpose , we discover out mates along the path. God is the the ultimate matchmaker and his timing is best. He knows our desires and will put that one in our face when we least expect it. When we seek to put him first, then everything will be added unto us.

Its hard as single women to not cosume our thoughts on meeting the one but once you release it and truly forget about then that is when it will come. "Unless a grain of wheat fall to the ground and dies, it cannot be made alive." Our desires must die and be surrended so that it can manifest.


Now if you ask me why women are taking longer to get married and as to why there are more singles in the church then ever before, that is a whole another story. There are a lot of factors that attribute to that are a combination of social, economic and spiritual influences.

[chinadoll]

I believe that most women should be "preparing " rather than "positioning". It should not be up to us to find our husbands. The Lord takes care of that while we discover our purpose or simply walk in daily obedience to him while trusting (doing his will). Ruth and Esther were doing the Lord's will (accomplishing their purpose). There was never the idea behind the back of their heads of let me get close to this man so I can marry him. Their mates discovered them. Both men were attracted to these ladies because they saw the passion in these two women concerning the things of God.

I believe that if you want a true godly man, just focus on doing the things of the Lord, a godly man will notice you even when you think he is not looking. If you have to "work" to get a guy before seeing your heart than that brother is not spiritually mature yet in my opinion. A godly man, whether shy or not will pursue!

Michelle Hammond puts it best in her most recent book of that in finding our purpose , we discover out mates along the path. God is the the ultimate matchmaker and his timing is best. He knows our desires and will put that one in our face when we least expect it. When we seek to put him first, then everything will be added unto us.

Its hard as single women to not cosume our thoughts on meeting the one but once you release it and truly forget about then that is when it will come. "Unless a grain of wheat fall to the ground and dies, it cannot be made alive." Our desires must die and be surrended so that it can manifest.


Now if you ask me why women are taking longer to get married and as to why there are more singles in the church then ever before, that is a whole another story. There are a lot of factors that attribute to that are a combination of social, economic and spiritual influences.

you read my mind, thank you! :Rose:

[Bunny77]

I believe that most women should be "preparing " rather than "positioning". It should not be up to us to find our husbands. The Lord takes care of that while we discover our purpose or simply walk in daily obedience to him while trusting (doing his will). Ruth and Esther were doing the Lord's will (accomplishing their purpose). There was never the idea behind the back of their heads of let me get close to this man so I can marry him. Their mates discovered them. Both men were attracted to these ladies because they saw the passion in these two women concerning the things of God.

I believe that if you want a true godly man, just focus on doing the things of the Lord, a godly man will notice you even when you think he is not looking. If you have to "work" to get a guy before seeing your heart than that brother is not spiritually mature yet in my opinion. A godly man, whether shy or not will pursue!

Michelle Hammond puts it best in her most recent book of that in finding our purpose , we discover out mates along the path. God is the the ultimate matchmaker and his timing is best. He knows our desires and will put that one in our face when we least expect it. When we seek to put him first, then everything will be added unto us.

Its hard as single women to not cosume our thoughts on meeting the one but once you release it and truly forget about then that is when it will come. "Unless a grain of wheat fall to the ground and dies, it cannot be made alive." Our desires must die and be surrended so that it can manifest.


Now if you ask me why women are taking longer to get married and as to why there are more singles in the church then ever before, that is a whole another story. There are a lot of factors that attribute to that are a combination of social, economic and spiritual influences.

Good points... one question though...

Are positioning and preparing mutually exclusive? Can't one do both?

[chellero]

Well...you gotta lean on your boldness is Christ Ms. Lady:grin: Let me preface that though. I'm not talking about "chasing" a man who's no good and shows no interest in you and coming across as deparate. I'm just speaking of being proactive.

For example if you pray "Lord, I need a breakthough in my finances!" but you still watch Oprah, still run up your credit cards, still have the same spending habits, and don't become a better stewart of what you have, then if God doesn't drop manna/ombey from heaven into your lap, don't assume it's "just not God's will" for you to be free from financial bondage. He's wanting to see if you can be trusted with what you have because he knows if he gives you more, it'll ruin you, and a good Daddy doesn't do that to his kids.

So if you say "Lord send me a husband" but spend 99.9% at home in hermit mode, don't assume that "it's not God's will" for you to be married...you're just hiding and caint be found!:grin:

OT - What's wrong with watching Oprah?

[Bunny77]

Maybe I think I mean something different. Of course I think Ruth "positioned herself"...and she had the covering and direction of her mother-in-law. But it seems that there are some married women who did some "assertive/aggressive" positioning but portray it like the man did everything....And then these same women want to put down other women who might apply some "unconventional" forms of positioning.

My GOD, I wish things could have happened the way it happened for my mom or my pastor's wife. All that sounded so easy. I don't think those ways have changed because times have changed, but then again, maybe they have....

I just know that I've tried a lot of ways... spent some (a lot) of money to "position myself"....Sigh....

:bighug: :bighug: :kiss:

[discobiscuits]

Good points... one question though...

Are positioning and preparing mutually exclusive? Can't one do both?

i think one can and should do both. i also think that positioning can be as simple as what gn1g said: step out of your comfort zone. a woman does not have to chase men or put herself "in the way" of men to be seen. i mean take some classes (cooking, motorcycle, creative writing, whatever...). attend church social functions, not just the worship ones. if a group of peers asks you to go out after (work/church/school), then go (as long as what they are doing is in line w/ your beliefs/lifestyle). join a site like meetup and join a group that does activities you like or want to learn (fencing/bowling/hang gliding/knitting/pet care). even something simple like looking presentable when u go to the grocery store, who knows the one may be in line behind you.

one of my pet peeves is unmarried women in church who are so obviously trying to be seen & get a date w/o looking like they are doing it.

also, my personal opinion is that since i have not seen nor have i heard/read any scripture or minister/preacher/teacher/"prophet/ess" say otherwise, i do not think it incorrect or ungodly or out of "place" for a woman to approach a man. our singles ministry had a "summit" on exactly this topic. the women were like "we want to approach you guys but we feel that it is pastor's/the church's position that it is outside of the scope of what the bible says." the guys were like "we want to approach ya'll but some of ya'll look so mean, anti-social, and unapproachable that we don't wanna be bothered." LOL

there is no shame in my game as the saying goes. i will approach a man. if we engage in a conversation that leads to exchanging numbers and communicating further then so be it. if not we go our separate ways and i've made a new acquaintance. when i say approach i simply mean the woman initiates contact and that is all. i don't mean throwing lines or asking out on a date or fellowshipping, i simply mean initiate contact and see what happens nothing more.

back in the "olden days" :grin: women had to have a chaperone and if a young man wanted to meet a young lady he had to go through her "people". i was raised by a mother who grew up in that fashion and i am old fashioned too. i soooo wish the times we live in now were more like back then but since they aren't, we have to adapt. plus seeing some bad choices some folx make, i don't think i'd trust too many ppl in this age to introduce some dude to me when they can't make a good call for themselves.

side note: i chose when i was in jr hi or hs that i would prefer to remain unmarried. i still keep that option open but marriage is not my 1st choice. i use Paul as my example. he chose to remain unmarried and even opined that unmarried is better than being married. he did not teach that, it was just his personal opinion.
:dinner:

[SEMO]

I had to "position" myself to be found because my poor husband was so dense in the beginning!:lachen:It took him MONTHS to realize that I liked him and then he had the nerve to tell me that he would have asked me out sooner if I had only made the fact that I was interested more obvious!:wallbash:

We met at school (Christian college) and I just knew he was the man for me, so you better believe I made sure to just-so-happen to be at all the same school functions, events, and bible studies that he was. I invited him to sit next to me in chapel, or to go out with a group of friends to a coffee shop, or have lunch me in the courtyard. I wasn't aggressive or desperate or pushy, I didn't go chasing him down, but I was out and about so he couldn't help but see me. I kept it lady like but I made myself known and after a while he took notice. I let him pursue me: the more he knew about me, the more he wanted to know; the more he spent time with me, the more he wanted to spend time with me; and the more he saw that I was a woman of God who eventually wanted a Godly husband, the more he wanted to make sure that he was that husband.

If I had kept to myself and not put myself in a position to be noticed, then I seriously doubt my shy DH would have asked me out of his own accord.


I like this story :yep:. Men are pursuers, but women can do things to invite a man to pursue them. If a woman only goes to work, church and home, never lingering to chat people up or otherwise be friendly and sociable, a man might see that as off-putting.

Women don't have to approach men but they should seem approachable. And that's where I think women need to be more realistic about their outward appearance. The Bible mentions many times how beautiful a woman is (ex. Sarah, Ruth, Esther, Rachel, etc), and that beauty often seems to be an integral part of the story. And Song of Solomon explicitly talks about the virtues of a beautiful woman :blush:.

I think everyone in the world agrees that men are visual. And there is nothing wrong with being godly beautiful (which is a combination of inner and outer beauty). I think beauty is only shallow when it's solely outward. On the flip side, a man may never get to your inner beauty if there's no outer beauty that initially catches his eye.

Also, I like Michelle McKinney Hammond (I have several of her books), but despite all the books she writes, of which there are many, about relationships and how to get a man to marry you, she herself is still single. I think it would be wise to solicit advice from ladies successfully married, and not just singles.

ETA:
JOJ, we are on the same wavelength about being approachable and presentable :yep:.

[divya]

It says he that "findeth" not she that "pursueth"....

Exactly. Thank you!

[gn1g]

I like this story :yep:. Men are pursuers, but women can do things to invite a man to pursue them. If a woman only goes to work, church and home, never lingering to chat people up or otherwise be friendly and sociable, a man might see that as off-putting.

Women don't have to approach men but they should seem approachable. And that's where I think women need to be more realistic about their outward appearance. The Bible mentions many times how beautiful a woman is (ex. Sarah, Ruth, Esther, Rachel, etc), and that beauty often seems to be an integral part of the story. And Song of Solomon explicitly talks about the virtues of a beautiful woman :blush:.

I think everyone in the world agrees that men are visual. And there is nothing wrong with being godly beautiful (which is a combination of inner and outer beauty). I think beauty is only shallow when it's solely outward. On the flip side, a man may never get to your inner beauty if there's no outer beauty that initially catches his eye.

Also, I like Michelle McKinney Hammond (I have several of her books), but despite all the books she writes, of which there are many, about relationships and how to get a man to marry you, she herself is still single. I think it would be wise to solicit advice from ladies successfully married, and not just singles.

ETA:
JOJ, we are on the same wavelength about being approachable and presentable :yep:.


ITA and wondered if Michelle was still single.

Reading the book of Ruth this morning Ruth did approach BOAZ.

OT: I also notice that BOAZ was already a husband in that he was protecting and providing for Ruth when he first met her. Often times I hear my Bishop say she was already a wife when he met her.

I also like all the advice he gave to RUTH. The world needs more BOAZs instead of Bozos!

[shalom]

I believe that most women should be "preparing " rather than "positioning". It should not be up to us to find our husbands. The Lord takes care of that while we discover our purpose or simply walk in daily obedience to him while trusting (doing his will). Ruth and Esther were doing the Lord's will (accomplishing their purpose). There was never the idea behind the back of their heads of let me get close to this man so I can marry him. Their mates discovered them. Both men were attracted to these ladies because they saw the passion in these two women concerning the things of God.

I believe that if you want a true godly man, just focus on doing the things of the Lord, a godly man will notice you even when you think he is not looking. If you have to "work" to get a guy before seeing your heart than that brother is not spiritually mature yet in my opinion. A godly man, whether shy or not will pursue!

Michelle Hammond puts it best in her most recent book of that in finding our purpose , we discover out mates along the path. God is the the ultimate matchmaker and his timing is best. He knows our desires and will put that one in our face when we least expect it. When we seek to put him first, then everything will be added unto us.

Its hard as single women to not cosume our thoughts on meeting the one but once you release it and truly forget about then that is when it will come. "Unless a grain of wheat fall to the ground and dies, it cannot be made alive." Our desires must die and be surrended so that it can manifest.


Now if you ask me why women are taking longer to get married and as to why there are more singles in the church then ever before, that is a whole another story. There are a lot of factors that attribute to that are a combination of social, economic and spiritual influences.

You might have something here.:yep:

Finish preaching, I'm interested in what you have to say regarding your last paragraph.

Kbragg, you to funny:grin:

[Bunny77]

In reference to Janice's quote and Shalom's comment....

Its hard as single women to not cosume our thoughts on meeting the one but once you release it and truly forget about then that is when it will come. "Unless a grain of wheat fall to the ground and dies, it cannot be made alive." Our desires must die and be surrended so that it can manifest.

You might have something here.:yep:

Finish preaching, I'm interested in what you have to say regarding your last paragraph.

Kbragg, you to funny:grin:

My question is... is this scriptural or is this belief a modern one spread in churches that has no Biblical basis? I think we hear comments so much like this in regards to singleness that we take it as scriptural, but I don't know of any Biblical directives that say that a desire for marriage must die so they can manifest...

Yes, we can surrender our requests to God and we should, but the idea that we must forget about our desire for marriage to make it happen is not necessarily one of God.

Here is an excerpt from Candice Watters' new book, "Get Married," in which she takes a Biblical approach to encourage single women to hope and prepare for marriage...

... If in the midst of these cultural realities, "just pray and wait" sentiments leave you depressed, I think you'll be encouraged by the message of this book: there's something you can do.

Whether you're wondering if you'll ever get a date, stuck in a "just-friends" relationship or worried that the guy you've been seeing forever will never move toward marriage, this book offers help. It's for all the women who long for marriage but are afraid to admit it; embarrassed by their deepest desires or concerned that maybe they want it too much. It's for the parents of single women who wonder if there's anything they can do. And it's for married friends of singles who want to help but don't want to intrude.

This is not another book about seeking fulfillment in your singleness. As beings created in God's image; we were designed for relationship — that's why extended singleness leaves so many women discontent. It's also why we should be intentional about finding fulfillment in marriage. Getting married isn't just something that's "nice if it happens." It's what most of us are called to pursue.

Pursue, but not dominate. I'm not advocating getting married at all costs. But marrying well, for God's glory, is a worthy pursuit. There's a difference between making it happen and helping it happen. I'm not going to parrot the "girl-power," feminist worldview. Men have a key role to play. And how the single women they know relate to them has everything to do with their momentum toward marriage. This isn't a book about desperation or the hyper activity of joining every dating service and singles group. You won't find a list of 100 tips for meeting a hot man or five things you can do today to help you get married tomorrow.

What you will find is a way to live like you're planning to marry. Not just having a hope chest — but cultivating a lifestyle that is consistent with the season of marriage ahead. A life that's in harmony with God's work on your behalf. A life that nurtures men and the community around you to play their role so that you don't have to carry it all. Finally, you'll find in the context of this marriage-minded lifestyle a new confidence to pray like you never have — trusting that marriage is a goal within your grasp. You can risk hoping that you will get married. You really can help it happen.

[MissNatural]

ITA and wondered if Michelle was still single.

Reading the book of Ruth this morning Ruth did approach BOAZ.

OT: I also notice that BOAZ was already a husband in that he was protecting and providing for Ruth when he first met her. Often times I hear my Bishop say she was already a wife when he met her.

I also like all the advice he gave to RUTH. The world needs more BOAZs instead of Bozos!

I LOVE that last line!!! I'm going to borrow it :-)

[envybeauty]

ITA and wondered if Michelle was still single.

Reading the book of Ruth this morning Ruth did approach BOAZ.

OT: I also notice that BOAZ was already a husband in that he was protecting and providing for Ruth when he first met her. Often times I hear my Bishop say she was already a wife when he met her.

I also like all the advice he gave to RUTH. The world needs more BOAZs instead of Bozos!


Good point! I heard on the radio tonight a preacher talking about this very thing. He pointed out that the scripture says "he who finds a WIFE (not he who finds a woman) finds a good thing" -- as in not every woman is a good thing for a man. The pastor was addressing men because he believes men just go looking for a woman (or two :look:) instead of looking for a wife.

Ruth was a wife and not just a woman.

[shalom]

In reference to Janice's quote and Shalom's comment....

Its hard as single women to not cosume our thoughts on meeting the one but once you release it and truly forget about then that is when it will come. "Unless a grain of wheat fall to the ground and dies, it cannot be made alive." Our desires must die and be surrended so that it can manifest.



My question is... is this scriptural or is this belief a modern one spread in churches that has no Biblical basis? I think we hear comments so much like this in regards to singleness that we take it as scriptural, but I don't know of any Biblical directives that say that a desire for marriage must die so they can manifest...

Yes, we can surrender our requests to God and we should, but the idea that we must forget about our desire for marriage to make it happen is not necessarily one of God.

Here is an excerpt from Candice Watters' new book, "Get Married," in which she takes a Biblical approach to encourage single women to hope and prepare for marriage...

... If in the midst of these cultural realities, "just pray and wait" sentiments leave you depressed, I think you'll be encouraged by the message of this book: there's something you can do.

Whether you're wondering if you'll ever get a date, stuck in a "just-friends" relationship or worried that the guy you've been seeing forever will never move toward marriage, this book offers help. It's for all the women who long for marriage but are afraid to admit it; embarrassed by their deepest desires or concerned that maybe they want it too much. It's for the parents of single women who wonder if there's anything they can do. And it's for married friends of singles who want to help but don't want to intrude.

This is not another book about seeking fulfillment in your singleness. As beings created in God's image; we were designed for relationship — that's why extended singleness leaves so many women discontent. It's also why we should be intentional about finding fulfillment in marriage. Getting married isn't just something that's "nice if it happens." It's what most of us are called to pursue.

Pursue, but not dominate. I'm not advocating getting married at all costs. But marrying well, for God's glory, is a worthy pursuit. There's a difference between making it happen and helping it happen. I'm not going to parrot the "girl-power," feminist worldview. Men have a key role to play. And how the single women they know relate to them has everything to do with their momentum toward marriage. This isn't a book about desperation or the hyper activity of joining every dating service and singles group. You won't find a list of 100 tips for meeting a hot man or five things you can do today to help you get married tomorrow.

What you will find is a way to live like you're planning to marry. Not just having a hope chest — but cultivating a lifestyle that is consistent with the season of marriage ahead. A life that's in harmony with God's work on your behalf. A life that nurtures men and the community around you to play their role so that you don't have to carry it all. Finally, you'll find in the context of this marriage-minded lifestyle a new confidence to pray like you never have — trusting that marriage is a goal within your grasp. You can risk hoping that you will get married. You really can help it happen.

Hi Bunny77,

For me the word "surrender" means to let go, give it up and yes, forget. I can't speak for anyone else, but when I leave a situation in God's hand I forget about it, why should I worry or concern myself with something God is in control of. God said he would give us the desires of our heart, because I forget it that doesn't mean the desire is gone. I believe God will bless based on the desires of the heart. I hope that brings more clarity to my comment.